I Will Remember You

Prologue

Six Weeks After the Prom

Artist: Sarah McLachlan

Title: I Will Remember You

*I will remember you

Will you remember me?*

Sarah McLachlan sang her sad song in the background as Brian pulled his suitcases out and placed them on the bed. This would be his last night here in the loft. Tomorrow, the movers would be here to pack up his life and move it all to Manhattan where he'd be starting his new job on Monday.

*Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories*

No, he wasn't going to let his life pass him by. He'd always said he'd make it to New York, so that's what he was doing. Making a fresh start. Justin's memories had disappeared with the swing of a bat. Brian would just have to leave his behind as well.

*Remember the good times that we had?

I let them slip away from us when things got bad*

There'd be no remembering for Justin now, good or bad. It was his fault that Justin had been hurt. He'd known better than to go to that prom, no matter how much Justin had wanted it. He had known better! And then he'd seen that Hobbs kid coming up behind Justin, bat in hand. If only he'd been just a few seconds faster. If only… But it was over now. There was no way to give Justin back what he'd lost.

*How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun

Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one*

Deb had always called him Sunshine because of that smile. A smile that could light up a room. The smile that had lit up Brian's life. That smile had been the last thing Brian had seen before the bat had struck. Brian could still see the blood pouring out onto the hard, cold concrete floor. He could feel the warmth being sucked from both their bodies. His heart had frozen that night. Sunshine was gone. There was no warmth left.

*I will remember you

*Will you remember me?*

Brian remembered the day Jennifer had come out to the waiting room to tell them Justin had come out of the coma. Then later, she'd come out to tell them that he had lost his memory. Not just of that night, but no memory of them, of himself, of the past, nothing. Oh, he was still Justin. He looked like Justin, talked like Justin, but it wasn't Justin anymore. Brian had left without a word to the others.

*Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories*

Jennifer had come by the loft later that day to talk to Brian. She had asked him to not come back to the hospital. She blamed him for what had happened and since Justin didn't remember him anyway, there was no real reason for Brian to be there anymore. Brian had agreed.

*I'm so tired but I can't sleep

Standin' on the edge of something much too deep*

Sleep had been elusive for Brian ever since the bashing. After Jennifer had asked him to stay away, Brian had begun slipping into the hospital late at night and watching Justin sleep while no one was there. Only the night duty nurse had noticed and spoken to him. Part of Brian had hoped that his presence would help Justin would remember. The doctor's said it was possible that one day the memories would just be there as if they'd never left. But as day after day passed with no sign of any improvement, they offered less and less hope.

*It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word

We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard *

Michael had had a royal drama queen moment when Brian had told him he had accepted a job in New York and would be moving in two weeks. No one had understood how Brian could just move so far away with Justin still being in the hospital. They'd all concluded that he was just being Brian, the heartless asshole. No one saw the pain he buried deep inside. No one noticed the frost where his heart had frozen solid. No one saw the anguish in his eyes when he finally accepted that he had lost the one man he'd dared to let himself love. No one heard the silent screams of pain.

*But I will remember you

Will you remember me?*

No, Justin would never remember the past year they'd had together. But he, Brian, would never be able to forget. There were reminders all over: the loft, the diner, Woody's, Babylon, Liberty Avenue, even his own son Gus who Justin had named. Everywhere he went. He had to escape it somehow, before it overcame him. And the only way to do that, was to leave it all behind.

*Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories*

Perhaps, once he was gone from this place, he'd be able to put it all behind him and move on. It was what he hoped for. It was what he longed for. It was the only way he knew to survive.

*I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose

Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose*

What did he have left to lose? Justin's past was gone and with it, any hope of love he had. Neither of them had been given a choice, it had been taken out of their hands. He'd already lost everything. Time to pick up the pieces and move on.

*Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night

You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light*

Wasn't that the truth. His life had been dark and empty until that night when a certain blond twink had appeared, standing under a lamp post. Justin had never held back his love. He'd given Brian everything he had without reservation. Now the darkness was back.

*And I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass you by

Weep not for the memories

Weep not for the memories *

Sarah's voice trailed off as the song ended. Brian walked over and cut the stereo off. It was time to pay his boy one last visit at the hospital. One more time, and then he'd walk away and never look back.

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