I Will Remember You

Chapter 24

~ Splintered ~

Wed., Dec. 18, late

After finishing up the game of pool with Justin and Emmett at Woody's, Brian opted to return to the condo with Tee instead of heading over to Babylon. Michael and Ben decided to leave about the same time. Much to Brian's dismay, Michael kept asking what Brian thought he was doing taking 'that damn twink' home with him.

Finally losing patience with his old friend, Brian had told Mikey to fuck off. It wasn't any of his business who Brian took home with him. Slamming the door to the jeep in Michael's face, Brian had driven off with a squeal of tires, leaving Ben to deal with a distraught Michael.

"He still doesn't like me very much, does he?" Tee asked with a grin. He really didn't care very much what the comic-crazed man thought of him.

Glancing over at Tee's grinning face, Brian felt his annoyance fade away. That was one of the things that he liked about the kid. Nothing much seemed to faze him, so Brian never had to listen to him bitch and moan about useless things. "He doesn't like anyone if they're with me." Brian replied dryly.

Tee laughed, knowing how Michael was. "You'd think that having his own boyfriend would have calmed him down some. Especially one's that so hot."

Brian sighed. He really didn't want to talk about Michael and his problems. "Maybe it's PMS."

Getting the hint, Tee let it drop. They continued the drive in silence. Pulling up outside Brian's condo, Tee gave a low whistle. "Nice digs."

Grabbing the bag that he'd been carrying around for most of the day from the back seat, Tee followed Brian inside. He grinned again as he looked around. "You even have furniture…" he commented.

Brian snorted, but didn't comment. He'd never understood how the kid had lived in an apartment for close to four months with nothing but a mattress, a nightstand and a chair. It was inhuman.

"So, where do I sleep?" Tee asked, wanting to put his bag down somewhere.

"Guest room is back that way." Brian pointed down the hall. "Come on, I'll give you the tour." The condo consisted of Gus's room, a guest room, where Tee dropped off his bag, and a bathroom on the ground floor along with the living area / kitchen combination. Brian liked the open feeling of the large main room. The master bedroom and another bathroom the size of a small bedroom were upstairs in a sort of loft area overlooking the living area.

Spying a small container beside Brian's bed that he was sure he recognized, Tee picked it up and shook it suggestively. "Is this what I think?"

With a small laugh at his friend's one-track mind, Brian took the container and headed back downstairs. "Outside with that." He said.

They went out to the enclosed back porch and Brian opened a couple of windows. Since Gus had been spending more time with him, he didn't smoke in the house anymore. Sprawling out on an old couch that Brian had put on the back porch just for such occasions, they lit up a joint and passed it back and forth.

They talked a bit about nothing in particular for a while, just shooting the breeze. When Tee decided that things were beginning to get mellow, he brought up the subject that he really wanted to discuss. "Jus told me that's he's working for you now. Business must be going fairly well." If nothing else would get Brian talking, his business would. Brian was proud of his accomplishment with Kinnetic (and rightfully so).

"He just started this week, but he's a hundred times better than that asshole I had before. Justin seems to know exactly how to draw what I'm trying to say." A huge compliment, as far as Brian was concerned.

Tee nodded, reminding himself to ease into this slow. "He's always been really good with the art stuff." Tee agreed. "I think it would be a little strange working with him, though. I mean, being as close as y'all once were." He watched Brian closely as he handed back the joint.

Brian had a distant look on his face. "Working together is easy. We keep it professional at work." Looking just a bit discouraged, he added. "It's everywhere else that is so difficult. I don't understand him at all."

Ah, they were getting somewhere, Tee thought. Let's throw some bait out and see what we can reel in. "What's to understand? He's just a guy. Just like every other guy you know."

Shaking his head, Brian passed back the joint. "Not like anyone else. Not to me."

Tee smiled to himself. For Brian, that was a huge admission. He looked up at his friend, a mock-incredulous look on his face. "Don't tell me you've fallen for the guy *again*? I thought after the cruise that you were just going to walk away and not look back?" Tee had known that Brian had run into an old lover on the cruise. He hadn't realized at the time that it was Justin though.

Taking the joint back, Brian inhaled and held it for what seemed like forever. "I tried. But then he came back to Pittsburgh and I just couldn't help myself. It probably would be better if I had kept walking. He doesn't seem interested in a relationship." He finished sadly.

Tee lit up another joint. Brian hadn't talked this much since the cruise. "Have you asked him about it? Maybe he's just unsure where things stand."

Brian thought about that a moment, then responded a tad heatedly. "What's there to be unsure about? I've been there every time he needed me. He spends half his time here and when he doesn't, it's by his own choice, not mine. Hell, if he hadn't asked Emmett if he could stay there, I'd have let him move in here, and not just temporarily."

Pausing to take another hit, Brian plowed on. "Everything seemed to be going great and then suddenly he acts like I don't exist. I need a play card to figure out what kind of mood he's going to be in from one minute to the next."

'Whoa!' Tee thought to himself. That was probably the most he'd ever heard Brian say at one time. Examining the joint, he thought that this must be some good shit to loosen Brian's tongue up that much. He idly wondered if it would work on Justin too?

At least Tee understood a little better where things stood now. He decided that he needed to put a little bug in Brian's ear. Just a little something for his friend to think about. "Have you asked him why he's acting that way?" You'd think that would be the obvious thing to do.

Brian snorted. "I figured if he had something to say, he'd say it."

Tee mentally shook his head. What could he do with such an obstinate man? "Maybe he didn't think you'd want to hear it. Or maybe, he was afraid of how you'd respond." Knowing Justin, it could be either one.

Yawning, Tee decided he'd done enough for one evening. You couldn't push Brian very much before he'd get wise to what you were doing. Besides, he was worn out from the bus ride. "Think I'll turn in. See you in the morning?"

Brian looked up. "I have to work. If you want to get up early, you can drive me in and borrow the jeep for the day."

Tee leaned over and gave his friend a chaste good night kiss. "Sounds good to me. Maybe you can show me around your work."

With another yawn, Tee headed off to bed. Brian sat out on the porch for just a little while longer, wondering why he hadn't just asked Justin what the problem was. It didn't *sound* that difficult, really. Deciding that was what he needed to do, Brian headed upstairs to bed as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Thurs., Dec. 19~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning rolled around way too early for Justin. After Brian had left with Tee the night before, he'd gone to Babylon with Emmett and Ted and danced and drank until early morning. Ted had finally decided that they needed to get home if they were going to be in any shape to get to work the next day.

Now, after only a couple of hours sleep, Justin was dragging himself out of bed to face another day of working with Brian Kinney. While he enjoyed the work he was doing, he still had ambiguous feelings concerning his boss.

Brian was showing Tee around the offices when Justin managed to drag himself in. At least Ted, who had beaten him in by only a few minutes, didn't look in much better shape. Brian refrained from saying anything to his obviously hung-over employees. As long as their extra-curricular activities didn't interfere with their work, he considered it none of his business. Even if he was seething at the thoughts of what Justin may have been doing after he left the previous night.

Finishing up the tour, Brian tossed the keys to the jeep to Tee and told him what time to be back that evening to pick him up. Determining that now probably wasn't a good time to confront his young lover about what was going on, Brian headed to his office and closed the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Tee returned that evening, Brian informed him that he had a dinner meeting with a client and offered to drop him off somewhere on his way. Knowing that he could get around using the buses or a cab, Tee told his friend he'd be fine and would get back to the condo on his own.

After Brian left, Tee decided that this would be a good opportunity to have a discussion with his brother. He also wanted to judge how upset Justin was with him for staying at Brian's.

Sauntering into Justin's office, Tee plopped himself down in a chair. "Aren't you ready to leave yet? Let's go get something to eat."

Justin looked up at the intruder and sighed inwardly. He wasn't really angry at Tee for what happened. After all, he'd given his brother the go ahead by saying there was nothing between him and Brian. "How about giving me a few minutes to finish this up and we'll go grab a bite?"

"Sure." Tee grinned, glad Justin wasn't angry. "I'll go bug Cynthia."

Justin finished up then collected his brother from the front desk where he and Cynthia were chatting. They decided to pick up some takeout and eat it over at Em's.

Since they had the place to themselves, Tee decided to bring up the subject of Brian. He didn't need to pussyfoot around with Justin the way he did with his older friend. "OK, bro. I know you said that there was nothing going on between you and Brian. But last night at Woody's did not look like two people who just work together. So dish… what's really going on?"

Justin should have known that his brother would see right through him. "It's nothing, Tee. Like I said, we tried and it didn't work out." He shrugged. "Maybe I'm just not as over it as I thought I was."

"So, what happened? I had to listen to you talk about this guy for a year before you even knew who he was. I want details… so speak up." Tee demanded.

"You aren't going to let this go, are you?" Justin asked, a bit exasperated.

Tee just grinned and settled back, making himself comfortable.

Seeing he wasn't getting out of this, Justin sighed heavily. He then explained about the memories he'd had of Brian telling him there was nothing between them. Then he talked about how Brian still went out tricking and how he never once said anything about wanting them to be together. "It's like he's fine if we are together and he's fine if we aren't." Justin finished. "If I'm not around, he finds a replacement easily enough. That isn't the type of relationship I remember from my dream. I'm not sure what it is."

Frowning, Tee tried to figure out how to respond to what Justin had said. He could easily see how Brian's non-committal ways were catching up with him. And while he was fairly sure that the tricks meant nothing to Brian, he could see why they had Justin upset.

"Jus, this thing with your memories. Isn't the dance like the last thing that would have happened? I mean, it was right before the bashing, correct?" Tee asked.

Justin nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. It would have to have been." He didn't see what that had to do with anything.

"Then all the other memories would have happened before that, right?" Tee prompted.

"Ok, that makes sense." Justin said, still puzzled by where this was going.

"So, maybe there wasn't much to your relationship with Brian in the beginning. But that doesn't mean that it didn't become something. I think you remembered things out of sequence and it's thrown off how you view things." Tee paused to let that sink in. He could see by Justin's thoughtful expression that he hadn't really thought of it that way before.

Tee continued. "Maybe you need to stop looking at the past and just concentrate on now."

Justin nodded. He could buy that. "That doesn't change the fact that I'm just a convenience now. If Brian really wanted me around, why doesn't he say something?"

Tee took a deep breath. They were getting into more difficult territory now. "Jus, as far as I can tell, Brian doesn't really talk about his feelings with anyone. If you want to know what he's thinking, you have to listen with something besides your ears."

Justin looked at his brother as if he'd gone nuts. "How does one listen without their ears?" He asked sarcastically.

Tee grinned. "You watch a person's body language. You watch their eyes, the way their mouth is set, the way they hold their arms. You look at what they do when they're with you. The things they do for you that they don't do for just anyone." Tee waited while Justin absorbed this piece of information.

"And, Jus… you really need to learn to say something when things bother you, not just run off. Unlike me, Brian doesn't read minds, you know." Tee finished with a grin.

Justin picked up a cushion and tossed it at his grinning brother with a laugh. Trust Tee to end a serious discussion with a weak joke.

"I'll think about it." Justin replied. Yeah, he would definitely be thinking about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Fri., Dec. 20~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin had spent the night thinking about what Tee had said. He realized that his brother was right about a few things. He'd ignored a lot of good things that Brian had done for him and he hadn't tried very hard to work things out when something bothered him.

Emmett and Justin were eating breakfast Friday morning when Justin decided to see what Em thought of Tee's assessment of Brian. After all, Emmett had known the brunet a lot longer. "Em, do you think Brian has trouble talking about how he feels?"

Emmett looked surprised at the question. "Honey, if the only subject Brian Kinney could talk about was his feelings, he'd take a vow of silence and become one of those monks that live in the mountains." He responded fervently.

Well, that was plain enough. Justin was beginning to hate the fact that his brother was right so much of the time. It was just plain annoying. Well, maybe it was really a blessing in disguise… but it was still aggravating.

When Brian showed up at work later that morning, Justin went out of his way to be friendly to him. Brian was wary at Justin's sudden change of mood, but was glad they were at least on speaking terms again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That afternoon, Justin decided that it was past time for him and Brian to have a talk. Making sure that the ad exec didn't have anything on his schedule, Justin entered Brian's office and closed the door. "Got a few minutes?" He asked.

"Sure. What's on your mind?" Brian motioned to the couch in the corner and joined Justin on it. Sitting on opposite ends, they faced off.

Justin decided to just plunge ahead. "Brian, the other night when I asked if you wanted me to stay, I felt like you really didn't care one way or the other if I did." Justin tried to explain what had happened, not sure if he was getting his point across or not.

Brian looked confused. "Why would you think that? If I didn't want you to stay, I wouldn't have asked in the first place."

"Because, every other night that I didn't stay, you were out picking up tricks. It really hurts knowing that I can be replaced so easily." Justin was beginning to get a little angry, remembering how he'd felt at the time.

"Justin, we never made any commitment to each other. No promise of monogamy or anything even remotely resembling it. If I go out and find a trick, it has nothing to do with you. And it's not like they mean anything anyway. As soon as it's over, I forget about them. That's not the way it is with you though. I thought you knew that." That was a big admission on Brian's part.

Justin put his fist against his forehead, trying to rub away the headache he felt coming on. "Why would I know that Brian? We've never talked about it. At least, not that I remember."

Brian was stunned. Sometimes, it was so easy to forget that the blond still had a memory loss. It had never occurred to him that Justin wouldn't remember the way things had been before. He knew he should have taken that into account and hadn't. "Justin, I don't know what you want from me."

Justin wished he knew. "I'm not sure, Brian. You've done so much for me these past few weeks. When we're together, things are great. But when we're not together, I can't help but wonder where I stand with you. I need to know that I'm more than just another trick to you."

Brian felt his breath catch. Was that really asking so much? Could he at least give his love that much reassurance? "You've never been just a trick to me." Brian said softly.

Justin sighed heavily. It wasn't much but maybe… for now… that would be enough. Scooting forward, Justin pulled Brian's face down towards his and kissed him softly. He hadn't intended for it to be anything more than just reassurance for them both. However, the moment their lips touched, neither could stop it from becoming more and more demanding.

As Brian slid backwards on the couch, he pulled Justin down on top of him, never breaking the kiss that was sending them both into overload. Brian's last coherent thought before the lust completely took over was that he hadn't thought to lock the door. If anyone decided to walk in right then, there would be plenty to gossip about as the Senior Partner and Art Director fought to see who could get the other undressed the fastest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sat., Dec. 21~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite the great makeup sex he'd shared with Brian, Justin had decided to spend the night at Emmett's. He'd explained to Brian that he was feeling a little unsettled by everything and just needed a little time to get his bearings again. He promised that it was just for the night and that he would see him in the morning.

Having spent the night thinking about their situation, Justin finally made some hard decisions. Every time he thought about just calling things off between him and the tall brunet, he knew in his heart that he couldn't do it. And he was afraid that if he pushed Brian about his tricking, the older man would just say to hell with it all and leave him. Another unacceptable scenario. Justin had decided to just ignore the tricking for now.

Feeling somewhat better, Justin headed over to Brian's Saturday morning bright and early. He thought to himself that if he got there early enough, he might get to join Brian in a morning shower.

Entering the condo quietly so as not to wake anyone up, Justin was immediately assailed by someone yowling at the top of his lungs. "Brian, that hurts! Will you fucking pull it out already?" Justin recognized his brother's voice as he gently closed the door. He could tell the voice was coming from upstairs.

"I will if you'll stop clinching your ass like that." Brian sounded slightly irritated. Justin felt his heart start beating double time. This didn't sound good at all.

"I can't help it." Came the pained reply.

"Just relax and be still for a moment." Brian was getting exasperated.

"You try to relax with something like that stuck in your ass." Came the petulant reply.

Brian's response sounded amused this time. "I thought you like having things stuck in your ass."

Now Tee sounded irritated. "You're enjoying this, aren't you? Sadistic prick…"

Brian laughed. "Well, if you're going to start calling me names…"

Tee yowled again, "Would you quit that and just pull the damn thing out already?"

Brian's voice got a thoughtful quality too it. "You know, I think I'd like to hear your name before I do this."

Justin began to feel sick. This could not be happening.

Tee was really irritated now. "You already know my name. You're just trying to torture me."

Brian laughed again. "You know, I'm quite comfortable like this. You, on the other hand…"

Tee let out a few more choice curses. "Oh, alright. It's Taliesin. Satisfied?"

Brian decided he had the upper hand and wasn't giving up so easily. "All of it or I'm not moving."

Justin started to turn around and leave. Hand on the doorknob, he heard a disgruntled voice respond. "Asshole."

"Hmmm, is that the first or middle name?" Was Brian's response.

Squaring his shoulders, Justin decided he was tired of running away. Tee himself had told him he needed to confront things that bothered him. Well, he was certainly bothered at the moment!

He was heading quietly up the stairs when he heard Tee's voice, sounding resigned. "Fine, fine. Taliesin West James." Followed by another yowl.

When Justin arrived at the top of the stairs, Brian was sitting on the floor next to the bed examining something in his hand. Tee was laying on the bed, stomach down, bare ass showing.

Tee looked around at whatever Brian was holding. "Let me see that. I bet it's at least two inches long."

Throwing the younger man a skeptical look, Brian held out the object in his hand. "Maybe a half inch and that's stretching it."

Tee seemed to notice Justin at that moment and began to turn red. "Wonderful. Now I'll get ribbed by both of you. Just what I needed."

Brian grinned and held his hand out toward Justin. "What do you think? Half inch?"

Cautiously, Justin walked over. Brian was holding a pair of tweezers. Justin had to look closely to see the small piece of wood being held in its grip. "Not even that much." He responded.

Looking at his brother laying embarrassed on the bed, Justin began to see just how humorous the situation was. Maybe this confrontation stuff wasn't so bad after all…

Suppressing a smile, he couldn't help but ask Tee. "How did you manage to get a splinter stuck in your ass?"

Burying his head in the blankets, Tee's muffled reply floated out. "I don't want to talk about it…"

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Author's Notes: Taliesin West is the winter location of Frank Lloyd Wright's Architectural School, located in Scottsdale, Arizona. Tee's mother was a student there and this is where Tee was born. (The architecture of Mr. Wright is one of my other obsessions.)

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