The Only Exception (Lonely No More)

Chapter 3

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?” Kurt asked. Even on the small laptop screen, Blaine could see that Kurt’s arms were crossed and his chin raised slightly, a sure sign that he was feeling defensive and angry.

“Could you be more specific?” Blaine asked. His non-date with Sebastian had only been last night, but he was fairly sure that Kurt had already heard about it. There wasn’t anything else that would get his ex-boyfriend-now-just-friend so worked up.

“I thought we were being honest with each other,” Kurt said.

“Still a little vague, Kurt,” Blaine said. He was getting so tired of playing these games.

“Brittany said she saw you at the movies last night with Sebastian,” Kurt said, spitting the name out like it was something foul.

“We were standing in line together when she and Sam came in,” Blaine agreed. He knew better than to think that would be the end of it though.

“You told me you were meeting someone. Was it him?” Kurt asked suspiciously.

“Yes, we both wanted to see the movie and agreed to meet there,” Blaine replied evenly.

“Why would you go out with the guy that nearly blinded you last year and then cheated to beat you at Sectionals this year?” Kurt demanded.

“First, we’re not ‘going out’. Second, if we were dating, how is that any of your business? You’ve made it clear that we’re just friends,” Blaine replied, not quite as calmly as before.

“Friends don’t let friends date criminals-in-training,” Kurt said. “How can you just forget what he did to you?”

“You didn’t seem to have any trouble forgiving Karofsky for threatening to kill you,” Blaine reminded him. “In fact, I seem to remember you saying you were on friendly terms even before he tried to commit suicide.”

“David was going through a difficult time and needed a friend,” Kurt said through gritted teeth. “He never meant what he said, he was just confused.”

“And Sebastian has apologized and is trying to become a better person,” Blaine said, leaning back and crossing his arms. “How is that any different?”

“It just is,” Kurt insisted. “And you’re a fool if you can’t see that.”

“I hear that you and Adam are getting pretty serious,” Blaine said. It was a deliberate attempt to both change the subject and throw Kurt off-balance. “You said you were going to be honest about how that was going.”

Kurt floundered for a moment before recovering. “I didn’t want to hurt you by bringing it up,” Kurt said softly.

“And I didn’t want to upset you by mentioning Sebastian,” Blaine replied.

Kurt’s jaw tightened. It took a moment before he could force himself to relax again. “I’d rather have heard it from you than Santana.”

“So would I,” Blaine said. He never thought the day would come where he and Kurt would have to tip-toe around each other’s feelings.

Kurt finally looked slightly repentant, not that he’d ever admit it. “I didn’t expect it to be this hard,” he finally said. “We used to be able to tell each other anything.”

Blaine refrained from stating the obvious; that if they were back together, this wouldn’t be an issue. “What do you want to do?”

“I guess we’ll just have to work a little harder to make this work,” Kurt said.

“Being friends, you mean,” Blaine said, but he wondered when they were supposed to do that. The only time Kurt really talked to him was when he wanted something. He kept that thought to himself though. No sense making things worse than they already were.

“Blaine, please. You know I’m not ready for anything more,” Kurt pleaded.

“Then what is Adam?” Blaine asked.

“He’s a nice guy and we have fun together,” Kurt said, slightly offhand as if it didn’t really matter to him. Blaine wondered if that were for his benefit or if that was how Kurt really felt. “It’s not like we’re planning a wedding.”

“Are you sleeping with him?” Blaine asked.

“No,” Kurt said emphatically. “Are you sleeping with Sebastian?”

“I’m not dating Sebastian,” Blaine replied.

“You weren’t dating that guy you cheated on me with either,” Kurt replied.

Blaine felt like he’d been slapped in the face and it must have shown.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt rushed to say. “That was uncalled for.”

Blaine looked away as tears threatened to spill over. How long was Kurt going to use that to beat him up with?

“Maybe we should just talk later,” Kurt said. “I don’t want to say something else I’m going to regret later.”

Blaine nodded. “Sure, that’s fine.”

As usual, Kurt had to have the last word though. “Blaine, honestly, you aren’t dating Sebastian?”

“I’m not dating, or sleeping with, Sebastian,” Blaine said.

“Good, that would be just… too much,” Kurt closed the connection.

Blaine stared at the screen, not sure if Kurt was just making a comment on how he felt or issuing a warning.

 

~ * ~
 

“I’m crushed. You started the party without me.”

Blaine looked around with a tired sigh as Sebastian slipped onto the stool beside him. If he’d given any forethought to it, he would have realized that there was a good chance he’d run into Sebastian here. He’d been so upset when Kurt failed to call, again, that he just got in his car and drove. When he’d seen the sign for Scandals, he’d decided to stop and have a drink - or two – and try to forget Kurt and how miserable he was.

“I’m not in the mood, Sebastian,” Blaine said, turning back towards the bar. He hunched over the glass of… whatever it was the bartender had put in front of him.

“Let me guess, Gay-face is out with his boy-toy and you decided to drown your sorrows in…” Sebastian picked up Blaine’s glass and sniffed at the contents, “something disgustingly sweet.”

“It’s none of your business,” Blaine said, taking his glass away from Sebastian and downing the remainder in one gulp. It really was too sweet.

“Don’t mind me,” Sebastian said. He called out on order to the bartender and then turned to face the dance floor with his elbows on the bar. “I’m just here for the ambiance.”

Blaine turned to look at the crowd of sweaty, desperate-looking men on the dance floor. There wasn’t a single one that peaked his interest. “Good luck,” he said and turned his back on the dancers.

Blaine could feel Sebastian’s gaze on him, but refused to acknowledge him any further. Sebastian had an uncanny way of making him face truths that he’d rather ignore tonight. He was hurting enough as it was.

“You know, this is why I’ve always avoided relationships,” Sebastian said, seeming to talk to the air. “Too much drama and angst.”

“I’ll take the angst over your way,” Blaine said without looking up. “You probably don’t even remember the name of the last guy you had sex with.”

Sebastian turned so that one elbow was on the bar and he was leaning slightly towards Blaine. “I’m all ears. Convince me.”

Blaine looked up finally, not sure what Sebastian wanted from him.

“Tell me what’s so great about this relationship of yours,” Sebastian clarified.

Blaine scoffed and turned back to his empty glass. “All you want is to tell me how wrong I am so you can fuck me.” Normally, he wouldn’t have been that crude, but a couple of drinks was all it took to remove the sensor his brain normally had over his mouth.

Sebastian grinned slowly, kind of like Blaine had always pictured the Cheshire Cat. “What if I promise that for just this one night, I’ll be a perfect gentleman?”

Blaine looked up in surprise. “You? Do you even know how?”

Sebastian chuckled, not the least bit offended. “I’ve had a lot of practice while dating the daughters of people my parents are trying to impress.”

“You’re going to pretend I’m a girl?” For some reason that sounded incredibly funny to Blaine.

“It’s a stretch, but I’m sure I can manage for one just night,” Sebastian replied with a grin.

Blaine had to think back to why they were pretending he was a girl. Oh, right, relationships. “Haven’t you ever been in love with someone before?”

“I think I’m in love with that guy over there,” Sebastian said, pointing to the dance floor where a guy a couple of years older than them was gyrating to the music. “I can picture him moving like that while I have him pressed up against a wall.”

“That’s lust, Sebastian, not love,” Blaine replied with a snort. He turned to find that his glass was full again and took a sip.

Sebastian shrugged. “So tell me what is so great about love.”

Blaine didn’t mind talking about love. He loved being in love. “Love is knowing that there is someone special, just for you. When that person walks in the room, everything seems a little brighter. It’s like being wrapped in a warm blanket and knowing that you’ll never be alone.” Blaine paused, fairly sure that he was rambling, but he wanted Sebastian to understand. “Real love is wanting to share everything with that someone special and knowing that they want the same things that you do. It’s planning a future together and knowing you’ll grow old together someday. It’s knowing that no matter what, that person will always love you.” Blaine felt tears burn his eyes.

“You aren’t so sure about that last one anymore, are you?” Sebastian said softly. Blaine looked at him and thought he seemed genuinely concerned.

“I cheated,” Blaine said. “It’s hard to get over something like that.”

“For who, you or Hummel?”

Blaine took a long drink, choking slightly when it went down too fast. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Right, you were trying to convince me that love is worth it,” Sebastian said. “What you’ve actually told me it that one mistake and everything falls apart.” Sebastian shrugged and shook his head. “I know I’m going to screw up, so why bother?”

“It was a pretty big mistake,” Blaine mumbled.

“And if I know you, you’ve tried everything possible to make up for it short of joining a convent to prove your renewed fidelity.”

“Convents are for nuns,” Blaine said.

“Well, we are pretending that you’re a girl tonight,” Sebastian said. “Tell me this, Killer, how long does your penance drag on before you admit that Hummel might have forgiven you, but he’ll never forget?”

Blaine had wondered the same thing a little too often himself. “As long as it takes,” he said stubbornly.

“And you wonder why I prefer lust over love,” Sebastian said. “At least my way is honest.”

“Kurt’s never lied to me.” Blaine jumped to his ex’s defense.

“You lie to yourself so well that he doesn’t have to.”

Blaine turned back to his drink so that Sebastian couldn’t see his tears. Sebastian hadn’t said anything that Blaine hadn’t already told himself. He had just refused to accept it as the truth, but that was getting more difficult every day. He blinked back the tears and then looked up to respond, but Sebastian was walking towards the dance floor. Blaine didn’t watch as Sebastian began dancing with the guy he’d pointed out earlier.

Two drinks later, Blaine had sunk even deeper into his brooding. The activity in the bar was picking up and he’d had to turn down several offers from various men. He finally decided that he’d had enough – both of men he wasn’t interested in and of drinking. He slid off the bar stool and nearly fell as all the alcohol he’d drunk rushed to his head. He grabbed the bar to steady himself and belatedly realized that he was in no condition to walk to the door, let alone drive home.

“I got you,” Sebastian said in Blaine’s ear. He wrapped one arm around Blaine and helped steady him as they made their way across the floor. “This is the gentlemanly thing to do, by the way. Not a pass.”

It took a minute for Blaine to figure out what Sebastian was talking about. “Very gentlemanly,” he agreed. “I don’t think I can drive home,” he added as the bar door swung shut behind them. The cold night air helped clear the fog in his brain a little, but not that much.

“Glad you’re smart enough to realize that,” Sebastian said. “I thought I might have to take your keys away from you.”

“At least my parents aren’t home,” Blaine said. “They’d freak if they saw me like this.” He was fairly sure if Sebastian let go of him, he’d land face first in the dirt and would have to spend the night there. At least he wasn’t interested in making out with Sebastian. That was a step up from the last two times he’d had too much to drink.

“I’ll drive you home,” Sebastian said. “We can come back for your car tomorrow.”

Blaine slumped into the passenger seat when Sebastian opened the door. He barely noticed the seatbelt that Sebastian put around him. “The trees are spinning… or maybe it’s the car.”

“You throw up in my car and I’ll have second thoughts about this whole gentleman routine,” Sebastian warned.

Blaine hummed a sort of acknowledgement. He didn’t feel sick, just rather light headed. He should have known that drinking never turned out well for him. It hadn’t even helped him forget why he’d started drinking to begin with.

Blaine didn’t even bother trying to unlock his front door. He gave Sebastian the key and the code to disarm the alarm. Getting up the stairs was a trial, but Sebastian stuck with him without complaining. As soon as Blaine reached his room, he staggered to the bed and fell on it in relief.

“You know, this was not how I pictured getting you into bed the first time would go,” Sebastian said as he pulled Blaine’s shoes off.

Blaine rolled over onto his back and forced his head up far enough to see Sebastian. “Sorry I’ve been so much trouble.”

“Not as sorry as you’ll be in the morning when you’re hung-over,” Sebastian replied. He picked up one of the photos of Blaine and Kurt that stood on the bedside table. “Some shrine you have going here.”

The photos normally brought Blaine comfort and gave him hope, but not tonight. Right now, he didn’t even want to look at them.

“Put it away,” Blaine said. When Sebastian just gave him a questioning look, Blaine pulled out the drawer and began dumping the photos haphazardly inside. Sebastian placed the one he was holding in the drawer without comment and Blaine slammed it shut.

“I take it that things aren’t going too well with the campaign to get back in your ex’s good graces,” Sebastian said.

Blaine laughed shortly. “I might as well not exist.”

Sebastian lowered himself to the floor beside the bed so that their heads were on the same level. “His loss.”

“Yeah, right,” Blaine answered morosely. “He’s got Adam, the handsome, college senior with the killer accent. I’m just a dumb high school senior stuck in Lima.” He learned more about Kurt’s life from Santana than he did from Kurt anymore.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Anderson,” Sebastian said.

“Whatever.” Blaine rolled over so that his back was to Sebastian. He could hear Sebastian moving around behind him and hoped that meant he was leaving. Blaine just wanted to go to sleep and forget about everything for a while.

“Move over,” Sebastian said.

Blaine looked over his shoulder when the bed dipped behind him.

“I’m not sleeping on the floor,” Sebastian said. “And we still need to get your car tomorrow.”

Blaine huffed a bit, but scooted forward to make room. They were both fully dressed on top of the blankets, so he wasn’t worried about anything happening. “You just want to tell everyone that we slept together.”

“A gentleman doesn’t not-kiss and lie about it,” Sebastian gently reprimanded. “You still have a good 18 hours before I turn back into the big, bad wolf.”

Blaine chuckled. “Why do I think your bark is worst then your bite?”

“We can test that theory in 18 hours if you want,” Sebastian promised him.

Blaine almost protested when Sebastian curled up against his back, one arm wrapped securely around Blaine’s waist. Sebastian didn’t do anything more though, so Blaine let it go. It actually felt good to have someone cuddle with him, even if it was Sebastian.

“I never thought you’d be the cuddling type,” Blaine said drowsily.

“Go to sleep, Killer,” was the only response he got.

 

~ * ~
 

Blaine blearily reached for his phone when it chimed, letting him know that he had a text. It took a minute for his vision to clear enough to actually read what it said.

‘Sorry about last night. Are you free to Skype now?’ Kurt.

“Is that Gay-face’s idea of an apology?” Sebastian asked.

“You shouldn’t read other people’s private messages,” Blaine said. He’d forgotten that Sebastian was still here.

“You going to answer?” Sebastian asked, unrepentant. “You still have a few hours of gentleman-Smyth left. I promise to stay quiet as a mouse.”

Blaine wasn’t sure it was really a good idea, but Sebastian had been a perfect gentleman last night and, despite everything, he did want to talk to Kurt.

“Just stay out of the camera’s range,” Blaine said.

Sebastian looked his most innocent, which only made Blaine roll his eyes.

He sent back a text message to Kurt, ‘Give me ten.’

Blaine stumbled into the bathroom and tried to make himself presentable. He didn’t have time to change clothes, but there wasn’t much that would show on the camera anyway.

“How do I look?” he asked Sebastian when he came into the room.

“Like you just woke up after a night of drinking and carousing,” Sebastian answered with a half-grin.

Blaine shook his head, not sure if Sebastian was being honest or just yanking his chain. He wasn’t going to get much more presentable in such a short time though.

He set the laptop on the desk and made sure that it was facing well away from where Sebastian was lounging on his bed. It took a minute for the laptop to boot up and for him to get Skype open to make the call. Kurt, as usual, was beautifully put together. Blaine rubbed his hand self-consciously over the dark stubble that covered his jaw.

“Did I wake you?” Kurt asked in surprise.

“Uh, yeah, but that’s okay,” Blaine said. No use denying it considering how he looked.

“I’m sorry. I thought you’d be up by now,” Kurt said. “It’s almost noon.”

“Yeah, well, I was up kind of late,” Blaine said. His gaze flickered over to Sebastian who was silently laughing.

“Oh, you didn’t wait up for my call, did you?” Kurt asked in concern.

Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“Uh, no. I went out,” Blaine said. “I assumed you were out too.”

“Yeah, Rachel insisted on taking Santana to Call Backs and dragged me along,” Kurt said. He went on and on about what they’d sung and some story about someone Blaine had never met who had made a fool of himself over some girl. Sebastian was making hand motions that indicated that Kurt talked too much. Blaine didn’t really pay attention to what Kurt was saying until he heard Adam’s name mentioned.

“Adam was there?” Blaine asked. He wasn’t surprised, exactly. It was more that Kurt hadn’t mentioned him right off, as if he were trying to hide it.

Kurt stopped mid-story and floundered a bit. He finally drew himself up and tipped his chin up defensively. “Yes, Adam was there. We are dating and it was Friday night.”

“I thought we were going to be honest from now on,” Blaine said. He looked guiltily at Sebastian even as he said it. It wasn’t like he was actually dating Sebastian though and Kurt would never believe that they’d spent the night together and done nothing but sleep.

Sebastian looked at the ceiling and shook his head in disbelief.

“Fine, if you want honesty, Adam and I had a great time, both at Call Backs and when we got back here,” Kurt said. “And yes, he spent the night and I fixed him breakfast before he left about an hour ago.”

The combination of being hung-over and how quickly their conversation degenerated into trying to hurt each other sent Blaine off the deep end. He was on the verge of telling Kurt who he’d spent the night with, when Sebastian knelt beside him (just out of camera range) and shook his head.

‘Don’t do it,’ Sebastian mouthed.

Blaine looked away as tears pricked his eyes. “I don’t stand a chance, do I?” Blaine said. He wasn’t sure if he was asking Kurt or Sebastian.

“Blaine, we agreed that we’re just friends,” Kurt said in his most reasonable tone.

“And you knew I wanted us back together,” Blaine replied. “You let me believe that there was a chance, but there really isn’t, is there?”

Sebastian gave Blaine a ‘well, duh’ look.

“Blaine, I don’t see how you expect us to… be an us again when nothing has changed. I’m in New York and you’re in Ohio. How can I trust that you won’t cheat the first time you feel like I’m neglecting you again?” Kurt asked with arms crossed over his chest. “Why can’t you accept that we’re just friends for now? Maybe when you move to New York after graduation…”

“I can do what? Watch you with someone else?” Blaine asked. “What you really mean is that you want me as second string in case this thing with Adam doesn’t work out.”

Kurt looked both shocked and offended, but recovered quickly. “How can you believe that? I thought you knew me better than that.”

“So did I,” Blaine answered. “But I’m starting to think that I don’t know you at all anymore.”

Kurt gaped at him for a moment. “I guess there isn’t anything left to say,” Kurt said.

“Yeah, I guess not,” Blaine agreed. He clicked the disconnect call icon.

“I’ve got to get some of whatever they put in your drink last night,” Sebastian said. “That was awesome.”

Blaine wasn’t sure what to feel. All these weeks of fears and doubts had finally come to a head and, while Blaine would probably later regret the way it had come out, he was relieved to finally have it out in the open.

“There’s no way we’ll get back together after this, is there?” Blaine asked, rather numbly.

“There wasn’t any way you were getting back together before this, except in your dreams,” Sebastian told him bluntly.

Blaine drew in a deep, shaky breath. “I need a shower and then we should get my car.”

Sebastian nodded. “Take your time.”

Blaine pulled some casual clothes from his dresser and walked to the bedroom door. He paused at the doorway and looked back.

“Why did you stop me from telling Kurt that you’d spent the night?” Blaine asked.

“As much as I would have loved to see Kurt throw an apoplectic fit on my behalf, I don’t want to be one of your regrets,” Sebastian said.

Blaine nodded without really understanding. Maybe when his head was clearer, he’d get what Sebastian meant.

“So, Killer, do you still believe in love?” Sebastian asked.

Blaine thought about it for just a moment. “You know the old saying, ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all’? I still believe that.”

Sebastian didn’t comment, but he looked thoughtful as Blaine turned to continue on to the bathroom.
 

Return to The Only Exception (Lonely No More)