Just Like Heaven

Chapter 4

Justin walked reluctantly into the hospital room, feeling nervous and out of place.

"Fuck, I bet my skin's as dry as the Sahara. And those clothes aren't much better than burlap sacks." Brian complained as Justin joined him by the bed.

"I could bring a bottle of that expensive shit you have at the loft and rub it on you, if you want." Justin offered.

"You just want to see me naked, Sunshine."

"Can't blame a guy for trying." Justin managed to laugh. "So, what do we do now?"

"I guess I can try to get back inside my body." Brian said with a frown.

Justin glanced around at the machines as Brian climbed onto the bed and lay back. For a moment, it looked as though Brian's idea might have worked, then the spirit's arms and legs began to raise and lower independently from the still body.

After a few minutes of ghostly aerobics, Brian snorted in disgust and stood back up. "That doesn't seem to work. Any more ideas?"

"When you were laying there, could you, uh, feel yourself?" Justin asked.

Brian smirked. "You think a hand-job might help?"

Justin would have smacked the ghost in the arm, but knew it would be a futile gesture. "That's not what I meant."

Brian chuckled, then shook his head. "No, not a thing. I don't think this body wants me back." He turned to look at the machines, wishing he understood what they were saying about him.

Justin reached down and hesitantly took Brian's hand in his, slowly stroking the back.

Brian turned toward the bed, an amazed expression on his face. "Hey, I felt that," he said, holding his hand up.

Justin dropped Brian's hand in astonishment. "Turn back around." He said as an idea came to him.

When Brian turned his back to the bed, Justin stoked his finger down Brian's cheek. "What am I doing?"

"You're touching my face." Brian said, slightly awed.

Justin ran his hand down Brian's arm. "And now?"

"My arm."

With a wicked grin, Justin stroked down Brian's stomach through the sheet.

"Bad boy, Sunshine." Brian said, turning with a smirk. "Don't start something you aren't planning to finish."

Justin laughed. "Yeah, like I want to explain to the nurse why I'm jerking off a comatose patient."

"Just tell her it's the latest thing in therapy treatments."

Justin was spared from responding by Emmett and Ted entering the room.

"Hey there, baby. Visiting your landlord?" Emmett asked gaily.

Justin shrugged. Unlike Michael, Emmett had gone out of his way to make Justin comfortable with the awkward situation. "I thought I'd at least meet him." He replied. "It doesn't look like he's hurt at all. Why doesn't he wake up?"

"That's the million-dollar question, sweetie." Emmett replied with a sigh. "As for his injuries, it was almost three months ago, so they've mostly healed by now."

"It's so strange. He looks like he's sleeping…except for all this paraphernalia attached to him." Justin said sadly. Noticing the preoccupied way Ted was staring at him, Justin asked, "Is something wrong?"

"Teddy?" Emmett said, noticing the look as well.

"Huh? Oh, sorry." Ted apologized. "It's just that your name sounds so familiar, but I can't quite place where I would have heard it before."

"You work at Kinnetik, don't you? I think I saw you once when I first started working there."

"You work at Kinnetik, baby?" Emmett gasped. "What a small world, isn't it, Teddy?"

"I just started about a month ago." Justin said. "In the art department."

Ted looked surprised, but shook his head. "No, that's not it. I don't have a lot to do with the art people. It is rather strange though, you working for Brian and living in his loft."

It was Justin's turn to look surprised. "What do you mean, work for Brian?" He turned to look at Brian, who had an amused smirk on his face.

"Brian Kinney owns Kinnetik. Didn't you know that, sweetie?" Emmett asked.

"Well, sure, I knew that, I just… I didn't realize… you mean this Brian is Brian Kinney?" Justin stumbled to a halt.

"Wait a minute, I know where I've heard that name before; the PIFA Contest." Ted exclaimed.

"What's a PIFA contest?" Emmett asked.

Justin chuckled ruefully. "When I was a sophomore at PIFA, there was a contest to come up with a name and logo for a new, upcoming advertising agency. I won."

Emmett practically shrieked with glee. "You mean, you named Kinnetik?"

Justin gave Brian a thoughtful look. "And Mr. Kinney was supposed to give me my prize, but he was called away on business at the last minute. His assistant, Cynthia, presented it instead."

"Well, isn't that just the oddest coincidence." Emmett gushed. "I wonder what would have happened if Brian had met a hot, little number like you back then. Sparks would have flown, I'm sure."

"Justin probably wouldn't be working for us now." Ted said dryly. "He'd have been too pissed at Brian's fuck 'em and leave 'em attitude to even apply there."

Justin traded glances with Brian, wondering how things might have been different himself.

~ * ~

Justin paced around the loft, feeling oddly lonely without Brian there. Since they'd visited Brian in the hospital the day before, Brian hadn't returned to the loft.

A knock at the door was a welcome interruption and Justin strode across the room to see who it was. "Lindsay! Gus! What brings you here?"

Lindsay smiled apologetically. "Gus has been insisting on seeing 'Sunshine'. It took me until this morning to figure out who he meant. I hope you don't mind, but he's been driving me crazy."

Justin grinned and squatted down so that he and Gus were at eye level. "I don't mind. What did you want to see me about, Gus?"

Gus glanced up at Lindsay. "Mommy won't understand."

"Perhaps I could use the bathroom and give you and Gus a moment to talk." Lindsay suggested, slightly harried at her son's determination.

"Sure." Justin motioned them both in and walked with Gus to the counter where they'd sat before. "So, Gus, what's on your mind?"

"Daddy says he may have to go away soon and I'll miss him. Can you make him not go away?"

Justin blinked back a few tears. At least he knew where Brian had been hanging out recently. "I wish I knew how, Gus. He doesn't want to go, but sometimes grow-ups don't have a choice."

"Daddy told me to take care of you if he has to go away. Who's going to take care of Daddy?"

Justin wasn't sure he could speak through the lump that formed in his throat. Here Brian was, in a coma, and he was worried about Justin. "Gus, I can't promise, but I'll do the best I can to make it so your daddy can stay, okay?"

Gus nodded seriously. "Don't be sad, Sunshine. Daddy says that we're his special boys. That means he'll always be in our hearts, even if he goes away."

Justin looked up gratefully as he heard the bathroom door open. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold on without tears falling.

Lindsay looked concerned when she noticed Justin surreptitiously wipe his eyes. "So, did you tell Justin what you needed to, Gus?"

Justin shook his head at Lindsay's questioning glance.

"Yep, Sunshine will fix things. He promised."

"Gus, I said I would try. I may not be able too." Justin said, concerned that Gus was placing too much faith in his abilities.

"Yes, you can. 'Sterious Marlin said so." Gus said with conviction.

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Mysterious Marilyn is a fortune teller that hangs out on Liberty. I was talking to the guys at the diner yesterday and when I turned around, she and Gus were having a very serious conversation over her Tarot cards."

Justin snorted. "I've run into her myself. What else did she say, Gus?"

Gus looked thoughtful for a moment, then replied, "She said you need to stop fighting with fate." Gus gave Justin a rather stern look. "It's not nice to fight, Sunshine."

"You're right, Gus, I'll try to behave." Justin replied, wondering what on earth Marilyn had meant by that remark.

As they walked toward the loft door, Lindsay leaned in and said softly. "I've told Gus several times your name is Justin, but he insists on calling you Sunshine."

Justin chuckled. "My grandmother called me that. I may have said something about that when we were talking the other night."

Lindsay smiled, relieved that there was a legitimate reason for it. Gus had been acting so strangely over the past few days. While she could blame most of it on Gus' reaction to Brian being in the hospital, some of the things Gus had said worried her. Especially his insistence that his daddy had come to visit him and was living at the loft with 'Sunshine'.

As soon as he closed the door behind his departing guest, Justin could feel Brian's presence in the room. Without turning, he commented. "You have a really great kid there."

"What can I say? He's a Kinney."

Justin laughed softly as he turned to face Brian. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming back."

"I had some thinking to do. It's not everyday you find yourself in a coma."

"Any epiphanies?"

"Life sucks, then you die."

Justin winced. "Gus wants me to stop you from leaving."

"Maybe I shouldn't have told him that." Brian said, shaking his head. "I just wanted him to know that I loved him. I didn't want him to grow up not knowing that."

"Mysterious Marlin seems to think I can fix this." Justin said with a lop-sided grin. "Maybe that's why I can see you."

"Then why does Gus?"

"There must be some connection between me, you and Gus. If we could just figure out what it is…"

"Give it up, Sunshine. The world's probably better off without me anyway."

"Don't say that! The world's not better off… Gus isn't better off… and neither am I." Justin said angrily. "You can't just give up on yourself like that."

"What do you want me to do, Sunshine? I'm dying in that hospital bed. Fuck, I'm already dead just nobody's convinced my body yet. Michael should grow some balls and just let me go. It's fate, Sunshine. You can't fight fate."

"You're the second person to say something about not fighting fate."

"Well, as the Irish say, 'ní choisctear cinniúnt'- fate can't be stopped'," Brian said.

Justin looked thoughful for a moment. "Brian, all these nights we've talked, we keep finding times that we could have met, but didn't. What if we were supposed to meet, but we kept fucking it up? What if fate is giving up one last chance to get it right?"

Brian snorted, unconvinced. "Well, we've met, Sunshine. What more does she want?"

Justin began pacing. "I don't know, but there has to be something we're missing. Something that would have happened if we'd met like we were supposed to."

"I would have fucked you into the mattress then tossed you out on your ass." Brian replied, irritated. "That's not exactly an option at the moment."

Justin pulled out his old sketch book and opened it to Brian's picture again. "I should have met you four years ago. What would have happened that night?" He mused, looking at the drawing as if it held the answer.

Brian walked over and looked at the picture. Then he noticed the date at the bottom. "Did you draw this that night?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah, I was so wired when I got home, I had to get that image on paper. Why?"

"That was the night Gus was born."

~ * ~

Justin looked up as his co-worker walked in, then grew concerned when he noticed she'd been crying. "Jessie, you okay?"

Jessie nodded sadly. "Yeah, I just heard about Mr. Kinney and …" She sniffed and wiped her eyes again.

"What about him?" Justin asked.

"Well, Sharon in accounting overheard Cynthia talking to Mr. Kinney's friend and, well, they've finally decided to take him off life support. They're pretty sure he won't make it."

Justin leaned back in shock. "They're just going to let him die? They can't do that!"

Martin walked over and joined them. "It's a miracle that he lived through that accident. We thought for sure when he made it through that, he'd eventually be fine."

"I know what you mean. If that guy following him hadn't realized that he'd gone off the road and gone back to look for him, he'd probably have died that night. I thought for sure the fates were looking out for him." Jessie said.

Justin began to get that fluttery feeling in his stomach. "What do you mean? What happened?"

"Oh, that's right. That was before you came to work here." Martin said. "Mr. Kinney was driving home from the airport. It was raining cats and dogs. The guy following Mr. Kinney said that a semi passed them and threw water up on the windshield. When it cleared, the car in front of him was gone, so he went back to look for it."

"Mr. Kinney had this adorable little sports car." Jessie said. "It wasn't much protection when it rolled into that tree though. What kind of car was it?" She asked Martin.

"A corvette." Justin interrupted. When both of his co-workers turned puzzled faces at him, he added, "It was the day before my interview here. I was the guy behind him."

~ * ~

Justin paused in front of the diner and steeled himself for the upcoming confrontation. He had to convince Michael not to pull the plug on Brian.

"You're wasting you time, Sunshine. Michael should have done this weeks ago." Brian said.

"I can't believe that all this has happened just so I can watch you die in the end." Justin retorted.

"Everyone dies. I never thought I'd live this long."

"Well, I made a certain little boy a promise and I intend to keep it." Justin said stubbornly then walked into the diner without waiting for a response.

"Hey, baby." Emmett called when he saw Justin. "Why don't you join us?"

Justin took a deep breath then pulled a chair up to the table. Michael scowled at him, but didn't say anything.

"I heard through the grapevine that you were the guy that saved Brian the night of the accident, baby." Emmett said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "It really is a small world, isn't it?"

"You saved me, Sunshine? The fates really have been working overtime on this case." Brian said.

Michael looked at Emmett in surprise. "What the fuck are you talking about, Emm?"

Emmett looked at Ted who nodded in agreement. "Some of the guys from the art department were talking about it at work this afternoon. They were telling Justin about the accident, then Justin realized he was there."

"You saved his life, sweetie. It's just too bad the doctor's couldn't do more for him." Emmett sighed.

"I heard that you're turning his life support off." Justin said to Michael.

Michael's expression had softened somewhat. Now he just looked sad and resigned. "Yeah. We promised each other that if the time ever came, we'd do it for each other."

"That was after dim-wad over there OD'd and left me to pull the plug on him." Brian said, motioning toward Ted.

"You don't think it'd be worth waiting just a little longer?" Justin asked, trying to ignore Brian's comments. "I mean, doctors have been wrong before."

Ben put a comforting arm around Michael's shoulder. "It was difficult enough for Michael to make this decision. I don't think second guessing it at this point would be productive."

"Zen-Ben, always so calm and collected." Brian said.

"He's probably just worried that he'll be out on his ass once Joan loses any rights to the loft." Michael huffed, his scowl returning.

"That was over the top, even for you, Mikey." Brian chastised.

"I'm not worried about a place to live." Justin said, trying to control his own anger. "In fact, if you'll agree to wait, I'll move out tomorrow."

"What do you care?" Michael snapped. "You've never even met Brian."

"Just let it go, Sunshine. It's not worth getting upset over. I'm not worth getting upset over." Brian said.

"Don't fucking say that!" Justin cried out. "You're worth it to me."

The guys exchanged concerned glances as Justin yelled into the empty air next to him. "Uh, baby, are you okay?" Emmett asked.

"They're going to think you're nuts, Sunshine." Brian said. "You're talking to thin air, remember?"

"I don't give a fuck what they think." Justin stood up and yelled at Brian, then turned to face the astonished men at the table. "He's here, okay? He's been bugging the fucking shit out of me since I moved into the loft."

The four friends gaped at Justin as he sank back into his chair and lowered his voice. "But somewhere along the way, I started to care about him. Even if he is anal about keeping the loft clean, hates my taste in movies and sings 'You are my Sunshine' just to annoy me when I don't want to get up in the mornings."

"Uh, sweetie, are you saying that you can see Brian?" Emmett said cautiously. "I mean, right now…here?"

Justin nodded, looking down at his hands. "I'm not sure why, but I've seen him ever since I moved into the loft. So does Gus."

"Sweetie, Gus is only four." Emmett reminded Justin gently.

Michael finally burst out. "That the most insane thing I've heard. If anyone was going to see Brian, it would be me. I've been his best friend for almost twenty years."

Brian shook his head. "You couldn't handle being haunted, Mikey."

Justin laughed, slightly hysterically. He knew he'd totally lost it. He couldn't help but repeat what Brian had said to Michael though.

Michael's mouth closed with an almost audible snap as he fumed in silence.

Realizing he was going to get nowhere now, Justin stood again. "Just think about it, Michael. Give me a chance to figure this thing out."

The friends watched as Justin walked out of the diner, shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Do you think he really can see Brian?" Emmett asked.

Michael snorted contemptuously.

"Come on, Emm. Brian's not dead yet. He doesn't even qualify as a ghost." Ted said.

"Perhaps he's feeling guilty over moving into the loft while Brian's still alive." Ben said. "This may just be his misguided way of alleviating that guilt."

"Or maybe he's just fucking nuts." Michael snapped.

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