In His Kiss

Chapter 32

Brian Fucking Kinney.


Brian woke up in the clear light of a blue sky over snow, spooning Justin, and was immediately reminded of his dream a few weeks before.

Of course, in his dream, he had just slipped his cock inside Justin, whereas this morning, he had to move back enough to glove up and cover his erection with a generous amount of lube before doing just that, but it was close enough. He rocked his hips slowly and stroked Justin’s hardening cock gently as Justin woke up with a sigh of pleasure.

“Good morning,” he whispered in Justin’s ear.

“It is a good morning,” answered Justin, all but purring.

Brian continued his slow gentle motions, enjoying the moment, enjoying the feel of Justin's delicious cock in his slickened hand. He loved the large swollen glans, and was reminded of how it felt to have it rub again and again along his prostate. He started kissing and licking Justin's sensitive neck and shoulder, drawing sounds of utter contentment out of him. He loved the taste of his skin, and the sounds he made. And he loved the way Justin’s sphincter sheathed his dick, nestled tightly in warmth and softness, a perfect fit.

He slid his left arm under Justin’s side and putting it across his chest, pulled him as close to him as he could. Justin put his own arms around his, tight against himself.

“Justin…”

Brian was still scared shitless of exploring how he felt about the man whose body felt so wondrously perfect against his. He had also been scared shitless of recognizing that he had not been happy going back to the status quo of mindlessly fucking strangers, no matter how attractive, how young, how exotic. And even more scared of the void he had felt in the days following Justin’s departure from his life.

Right now, though, his cock buried in Justin’s body, his arms around him, his lips on his neck and his hand gently milking Justin’s cock, making love to him slowly and softly, he was in bliss, in absolute and utter bliss. He felt he could stay there all day, in that moment of perfection. He kept it slow and gentle, for as long as he could, Justin keening in pleasure under his care. After a long while, Justin’s body started to shake in his arms, and he said, “Brian, Brian, Brian, oh, Brian,” as they both reached the sweetest orgasm Brian had ever experienced, his body submerged in joy and pleasure.

It was even better than his dream, and he held Justin for a long time before gently sliding out of him and backing away so Justin could lie flat and he could look at him. He was shocked that Justin’s face was wet with tears, even as he gave Brian his most beautiful smile. Brian cupped his face in his hand, and wiped the tear tracts with his thumb.

Justin sniffed and wiped the other side of his face, saying “Sorry, I… Sorry.”

Brian leaned forward and kissed the soft, salty lips. “Don’t be,” he said, his heart thundering in his chest as he added, feeling as if he was stepping into the void, “I feel the same way.”

The world did not come to an end, and he actually felt really good, as he smiled at Justin. Justin smiled back, and Brian knew exactly why Debbie called him Sunshine. He caressed Justin’s face, tracing his cheekbone, his smooth cheek, his full lips. When had Justin become the most beautiful man he’d ever seen?

They both laughed when one of their stomachs growled. Brian couldn’t tell if it was his or Justin’s.

“And now, we take a shower and go to the diner to feed our depleted bodies,” he said, grinning.

“Yes, please,” said Justin. “I’m starving. I’ll call Daphne to make sure she’ll be there.”

Except for Blake, Emmett and Lindsay, who had to work, they were all there. Michael had his daughter on his lap, and moved over to make room for Brian. Ben and Daphne, sitting across, squeezed and made room for Justin. Of course, as soon as they were settled, Gus crawled on Brian’s lap. He was proudly wearing his “I love New York” hoody.

“We’re worried about you,” said Ted to Brian from the neighboring booth. “Only a year and you seem to have forgotten the way to Babylon… Do you think it’s old age?”

“Jet lag maybe?” said Drew.

“Brain’s addled by lust,” guessed Mel.

“Sorry we couldn’t make it. We had to go to church,” said Brian, uselessly opening the menu he knew by heart. “Young Sunshine here had to go to confession.”

Justin snorted and Daphne burst out laughing. She said, “Justin, if you wanted to get on your knees, you could have gone to the back room!”

“Really, Daphne,” said Ted sententiously, eyes twinkling. “Should a proper young lady even know about back rooms? Or disappear for hours in the DJ’s booth?”

“Or be mysteriously on a first name basis with the stud of Babylon?” put in Michael.

Daphne smiled sweetly at him. “You’re just jealous, Michael, because he doesn’t greet you with a peck on the cheek…”

“I wouldn’t mind if he greeted me with a peck on the cheek,“ said Drew who sometimes sounded a lot like Emmett.

“Wait, aren’t you about to get married?” asked Ted.

“I am, which is why I said a peck on the cheek and not a pecker between the chee…”

Mel elbowed him. “Little Jugs, Drew.”

“Oops. Though talking about jugs, I wonder about the size of his spout…”

“Good god!” said Mel, rolling her eyes.

“There is an impressive bulge there,” remarked Ben uncharacteristically, wiping his glasses.

“What are you doing checking out… bulges! You are already married!” said Ted.

“Married does not mean blind,” joked Michael defending Ben. “9 inches? 9 ½?” he guessed.

“10” said Daphne between bites.

“How would YOU know?” exclaimed Michael.

“A girl never reveals her sources. 10 inches. Uncut. Trust me.”

“I don’t even want to know how you came by that information,” said Ted, shaking his head. “That proves it. You need to spend more time with girls your own age!”

“Well, I was going to, but Emmett had to work,” she answered shrugging, making them laugh.

Justin had his arm around Daphne, and was obviously enjoying her easy banter with everyone. Brian could see why he liked her so much.

“Will you come tonight?” she asked Justin, looking at Brian also. “ I miss dancing with you.”

“Didn’t we have plans today?” asked Justin, surprised. “I thought you wanted to hit the after Christmas sales?”

“Well, yes, but…” Once again she looked at Brian.

“I’ll meet you at Babylon tonight. I have a lot going on,” said Brian. He would have happily traded the visit to his mother for a root canal, but that was beside the point. Lindsay had also mentioned Gus needing a bigger bed, and maybe Mel and he could hit a couple of quality furniture stores.

Justin and Daphne were now having a whispered conversation, and when Debbie came over to deliver food and take some more orders, they whispered to her too. Brian was wondering what that was all about, when Hunter said, ”All right!” from behind the counter, and took off his apron. “Let’s go!”

Justin and Daphne cracked up, and Justin explained to Brian, “We were asking Debbie if she really needed Hunter, or if we could take him with us. She said he could go, obviously. He has very good hearing.”

“Like a superhero,” said Daphne.

“Sonar Boy,” said Michael.

“The Dish,” said Daphne. “You know, like those dishes in the desert that listen for extraterrestrial messages?”

“First of all, that would be Sonar-man, Dad. And second, cough up some cash, I don’t get paid for four days. Do you really think I’m a dish, Daphne?” he asked taking a ten from Michael and a twenty from Ben and shoving them in his pocket. “‘Cause I think you are pretty dishy yourself. I was worried; I heard rumors about you and Dj-man…” He turned back to his fathers. “Thank you, gentlemen. You will get your reward in heaven.”

Justin and Daphne got up, laughing.

Justin looked at Brian. “Later.”

“Later,” said Brian.

“How come you’re not giving Daddy a kiss goodbye, Jutsin? Mama always gives Mommy a kiss goodbye.”

“Well, your…”

Brian grabbed the front of Justin’s coat and pulled him down, giving him a kiss goodbye with plenty of tongue. When he let go of his front, a blushing Justin gave him one of his megawatt smiles.

Justin bent back down and gave Gus a peck on the cheek. “See you soon, Sprout,” and then they left.

“He gave me a kiss too, Daddy,” said Gus.

“Yes he did.”

“Do you think he likes me, Daddy?”

“I think he does.”

“He called me Sprout. Can I call him Papa?”

“Well, for now he can be your Justin, and then we'll see.”

“Is he your Jutsin too?”

“Yes. Yes he is.”

‘Yes, my Justin,’ thought Brian surprising himself. Since when had he become possessive?

Michael was looking at him with an unreadable expression.

“What?” Brian asked, knowing full well ‘What'.

“Nothing. Well, actually, isn’t he a bit young? What, 18, 19?”

“He was bashed in the head as a senior in high school four years ago Michael,” replied Brian. “You do the math.”

“OK, well, 22 is still pretty young. Twelve years younger than you.”

“Blake is twelve years younger than me,” mentioned Ted, reasonably.

“I’m just surprised, that’s all. You seem pretty…”

“Smitten? Is that the word you’re looking for, Michael?” asked Brian, thinking about Cynthia.

“Serious. You seem pretty serious. I just hope he is serious too, that’s all.”

“I think Brian can look after himself, Michael,” noted Ben.

“Yes, Mikey. Don’t worry about me. I’m a big boy.”

“Considering Brian’s history, I’d be more concerned for Justin,” said Mel, “but I don’t think there is anything to be concerned about,” she added, completely throwing Brian with a genuine smile.

Brian’s egg white omelet finally arrived with his side order of dry toast.

“I don’t see how you can eat this shit,” said Debbie. “You should have a little fun in your life.”

“I can have fun at the diner sinking my teeth into buttered toast or I can have fun at Babylon sinking something else into buttered buns. I’ll take the buttered buns, thank you.” He kissed Gus on the head, and lifted him to sit him across from himself so he could eat.

“I like cross buns,” said Gus. “They’re yummy.”

“Cross buns are yummy,” agreed Ben.

“I thought you only ate weird food, Uncle Ben.”

“I mostly do, but once in a while, I splurge.”

“You plurge?”

“Splurge. It means eat something I usually don’t, like your Grandma’s cooking, or dessert.”

Finishing his omelet, Brian left his son to his conversation and sat next to Mel.

“Do you want to go look at beds for Gus?”

“Without Lindsay?”

“Yes. We could actually go about it in an organized, rational manner.”

“Are you saying my wife is irrational and disorganized?”

“Would I ever say such a thing? Why don’t we go by the gallery? I can see Justin’s paintings, and you can see if you are authorized to make a unilateral decision about your son’s new bed.”

“Let’s go.”

“I’ll go with you to the gallery. Emmett says Justin’s work is amazing. I want to see it,” said Drew.

“And I’ll come along to entertain you all with my fun remarks and witty repartee,” added Ted, “and because Blake won’t get home till five and I’m bored shitless.”

“Where are you all going?” asked Michael.

“We are going to look at B.E.D.S for G.U.S.,” said Mel, grabbing Gus’s new varsity jacket.

“Why don’t we keep JR while you shop?” asked Michael.

“Why don’t we keep both kids?” asked Ben.

“I wanna go with Daddy!” said Gus.

“We’ll get some lemon bars and watch Shrek,“ offered Ben.

“We gonna sludge?”

“Exactly.”

“Cool. Bye, Daddy. Bye, Mama!”

“Sold out for a lemon bar. Aren’t you glad you had kids?” asked Ted.

“Was that an example of your witty repartee?” asked Mel.

“Not a very good one, no.”

“Can we hope you’ll shut it until you do have a good one?” inquired Brian.

“No.”

“I was afraid of that.”

***

Surprisingly for the day after Christmas, the gallery was not empty. There were several people walking around, most of them looking at the paintings on the east wall of the gallery.

“Those are Justin’s,” said Mel.

Brian had hoped to be able to look at them alone, but it was obviously not to be. He went and started at the furthest one out, hoping at least to avoid Ted’s running commentary, however, Ted followed him.

The first painting was … nice. Pretty. Though there was something about it that Brian did not like, but he was not sure what. It was over two years old, painted when Justin was at PIFA. Brian realized Ted was standing next to him, perfectly quiet.

The second painting was beautiful, and threatening. It was much more what Brian expected from Justin’s paintings, these amazing emotional reactions that he could not explain by anything visual. He looked at the name of the piece. “The face of God”. Justin had painted it at Pratt, in March, just around the time they had first met. The colors, the composition, everything about it was beautiful, and yet, it felt dangerous. It was truly amazing. Brian would have loved to own it, to have tried to understand it. It was sold already. They were all sold he remembered.

He stood in front of it for a long time, and after a while discovered another emotional layer to it. A yearning, a sadness, a willingness to ignore the threat, the danger, to reach for the beauty within. It made his heart ache, because somehow, it felt like Justin. He walked to the next painting, wishing Justin were with him, so he could kiss him, and feel him open and alive in his arms.

The next painting was a balm to his heart. It was full of joy, and love, and acceptance, and ease. “Daphne”. No wonder she was his best friend he felt that way around her. Brian had liked Daphne right away. But able to feel as he was just now, the happiness she brought into Justin’s life, he just wanted to hug her, and make sure that Justin knew that Brian valued their friendship and would forever make room for it in their life.

He was so taken with the painting, he noticed neither the word ‘forever’, nor the singular of ‘their life’ that had spontaneously come into his mind.

He actually would have recognized the next painting without looking at the title. It was less abstract than the others, but it was the warmth, the friendship he had experienced among its inhabitants that he recognized. It felt like home, like people who cared enough about each other to stay all day watching a sick friend sleep, and bed down in a fold out couch to allow that friend the company of someone who made him happy.

He wondered if they had all seen the painting, and appreciated what it revealed about how Justin felt about all of them. He thought that had he not known Justin and the inhabitants of the brownstone, he would have probably thought of Lindsay, Emmett, Michael, Ted and all the others when he looked at this piece.

The next painting felt like a punch in the gut. It spoke of pain, disillusion, fear, betrayal, and abandonment. It was dated more than three years ago, and that a nineteen year old could have experienced this depth of negative emotion was heartbreaking. It was titled “You are no son of mine”. It made Brian feel like going to see Taylor Sr. and punch him in the face. His relationship with his own father had been filled with disappointment, but never with this level of pain. Trying to reason away his anger he moved on to the last painting.

He smiled. Though completely abstract, it was definitely in the same vein as the image Justin had created for Essengy. It was all there. The thumpa-thumpa, the glitter, the sweat, the sex, the dancing, the beauty of the half naked bodies, the music. How something as static as a painting was able to represent something as wild and kinetic as a gay dance club was incomprehensible, yet, you could look at the painting and be there. He would have loved to own this piece as well.

All along the visit, Ted had been perfectly quiet. Drew came back from the last painting and joined them.

“Wow,” he said. “I had no idea.”

“Yes,” said Ted. “It’s hard to reconcile the cute teenage looking little blond with these, isn’t it?”

“The son one almost ripped my guts out,” added Drew. “Now I want to go throw a brick through that asshole’s store window.”

“Brian? What did you think?”

“I had seen three of them before, but I had not given them the attention they deserved, because I was looking at twelve of them, and not in the best conditions. A very large one got my attention, and is now in the lobby of Plexus, and another one… I fell in love with, and Justin gave it to me for Christmas. I overlooked most of the others, truthfully. Now I want to go back and look at them again.”

“Could I see a picture of your Christmas present? If it made you overlook Essengy and The Face of God, it must really be something,” said Ted.

“I think Justin said he had a picture in his computer. You should ask him.”

Mel rejoined them.

“I have been entrusted with the choice and purchase of our son’s next bed. It’s a miracle of epic proportion. Let’s get out of here before she changes her mind…”

She and Brian left quickly, leaving Ted and Drew to peruse the rest of the exposition.

***

A lot of stores were having sales, but Brian did not give a shit about that. They went straight to the best furniture maker, to the 100% walnut, dovetail manufactured, most beautiful boy’s bed in the store, with the best, most expensive mattress. The posts were carved with dragons. Gus would love it.

“That’s great, Brian, but Lindz said we were going 50/50 and there is no way we can afford that,” said Mel, walking away.

Brian caught her arm. “That’s right. 50/50. I buy the bed, you buy the sheets. What do you say? Believe me, I can afford it. Our boy will never have back problems.”

The sheets themselves, embroidered with characters from Tolkien’s The Hobbit were gorgeous, and cost a mint, about what Mel and Lindz had budgeted for their half of the bed. Her Dad had read her the story when she was a child, and Mel intended to do the same for her children. She smiled at Brian. “You’re on.”

So in less than an hour, that errand was done and the delivery set up. Since they were Lindz-less and childless, they also stopped at a travel agent to finalize the arrangement for the family’s visit to New York City. Brian encouraged Mel to buy theater tickets for a night on the town with her wife. He would babysit the kids.

Mel snorted. “I am supposed to trust you, alone, with both my kids? What do you think I am, nuts?”

“You could, you know, but if it can make you feel better, Justin will be there.”

“You seem awfully sure of that, Brian,” Mel said with a smile.

Brian looked at her quietly for a moment, rolling in his lips. “Justin is crazy about Gus. Regardless of what happens between us, he would come give me a hand if I asked him.”

Mel leaned her head to the side. “True enough. But that’s not what you meant, is it?”

“No. It’s not what I meant.”

“Good.” She grinned.

It was weird to have Mel look at him with such good will.

“You’re freaking me out,” he said only half jokingly. “Let’s fight about something.”

“Let’s not and say we did. Come on. Let’s go pick up the kids.”

“What time does Lindz get out?”

“Six.”

“Let’s pick up some Thai food and invite ourselves for dinner at the Novotny-Bruckners.”

Mel got on the phone to get Lindz’s OK, and Brian called Michael to make sure they didn’t have plans. He wanted to spend as much time with them all as possible. He also wanted Justin there, but the plan was to meet at Babylon, and he had to learn to restrain himself. Justin had a life.

By 10:00, the girls headed home with their sleeping brood, and the boys were off to Woody’s. Brian tried to call Justin, but the phone went straight to messages. Did he ever answer the damn thing?

Emmett and Drew were there, Emmett modeling his new leather pants and shirt. He looked fabulous and Brian loved it. Ted and Blake showed up as well. At 11:30, they finally made it to Babylon, Brian hiding his impatience to see Justin. He wasn’t there yet. Where the fuck could he be? Brian took two tabs of E and forced himself to relax. Emmett and Blake were dancing, and really, they were fun to watch.

Michael dragged him out to join them, and the beat, the friends and the drugs took over. It had been so long since he’d been there with all of them. Ben was shirtless, as was Blake, and even Theodore was getting down. The music was great, and guys started cruising him, just like in the good old days. He looked at Blake, years younger than him and at Emmett, who could really dance, and wondered, not for the first time, why it was him the boys circled with hungry eyes.

Then an absolutely gorgeous guy showed up, with long blondish hair and blue eyes, himself quite the center of attention, but looking at Brian. They met in the middle of the dance floor as if pulled by magnets. Brian could tell a top when he saw one and knew for a fact he projected the same dominant aura, yet there they were, dancing, grinding on each other.

“I want to fuck you,” said the blond, opening the hostilities.

“In your dreams,” answered Brian. “But I’d be glad to fuck you…”

The blond chuckled. “Fat chance of that.”

Brian chuckled as well. “An impasse.” They kept moving against one another, rubbing erections through their pants.

“You’re Brian Kinney,” said the blond. “I heard about you. You’ve already fucked every guy here.”

Brian looked around. “After three years, there are some new faces…”

“And I’ve fucked everyone of them,” said the blond. “My name’s Brandon.”

“The new stud of Babylon. With a 10 inch dick, uncut.”

“News travel fast.”

“I have my sources.”

Brian looked around again for Justin and Daphne. Still no sign of them. He smiled at Brandon and said, “I need a drink.” He went to the bar, downed a bottle of water, and ordered a double J&B. It was 1:00AM.

“We’re going home,” said Ben. “See you.” Michael gave him a hug and a kiss, and they disappeared into the crowd.

“Yeah. However fun it is to watch the alpha dogs sniffing each other,” said Ted, “we’re out of here too.”

“I have a shift tomorrow,” explained Blake. “See you, Brian.”

Emmett and Drew were still dancing, but Emmett joined him at the bar, ordering a Cosmo.

“Where are Justin and Daph?” he asked Brian. “Aren’t they coming? It’s getting really late!”

Brian downed his whisky. “I don’t know.” He was glad Emmett had brought it up and was now dialing his cell.

“Daphne, where are you? I’m getting worried. I thought you said you’d be at Babylon. Call me.” He was frowning. “It went straight to messages,” he said to Brian. Then he shrugged. “Well, it’s only 1:15. They’ll show up. When those two get talking, you can’t shut them up.” He went back to Drew. It was so strange to have Emmett so familiar with Justin. Brian's worlds had melded in his absence.

Justin was with his hag, having a good time. He’d never told Brian whether he would sleep at the hotel every night or not. Brian had just assumed, which was stupid. Fuck. He hated this. Justin and he needed to talk. He’d thought for sure…

Brandon came to stand next to him at the bar and handed him a bump. Brian did not usually take drugs from strangers, but he was pretty sure if anyone had a safe supplier, it would be this guy. The shit was strong, and he was suddenly hornier than all get out.

“Blow jobs,” he offered the blond jokingly, already knowing the answer.

“I only get on my knees for one guy, and you’re not him. Hand jobs,” replied Brandon.

And why the hell not?

“Like high school boys, behind the gym,” chuckled Brian, high as a kite. “I’ll take it.” He grabbed Brandon by the belt and dragged him towards the back room.

Even as high as they were, it was a contest of will. Their pants around their ankles, neither of them was willing to come first, no matter how skilled and pleasurable the hand job, and it was definitely both. Finally they exploded together, laughing afterwards.

Then a guy got on his knees to clean Brandon off, and Brian got hard again watching them. Another trick lowered his pants for Brian, and, after putting a condom on him, turned to the wall. Brian was glad to comply. A hand job really didn’t do it. He fucked the guy hard and fast, bringing him off quickly, and coming deep in his ass. He turned back to Brandon just in time to see him shoot his load down the trick's throat. They both pulled up their pants, and walked out of the back room together.

Brian felt as if he had just been submerged in ice water and sobered faster than ever in his life when, in a weird déjà vu, the first person he saw upon reentering the club, standing there at the bar, a bottle of water in his hand, was Justin.
 

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