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Brian was a little afraid…no, not afraid…apprehensive…to tell Justin his news.

He was waiting for Justin in the alley by the jeep, smoking a cigarette and trying to figure out a way to tell the blond the news without getting him too upset. He was shaken out of his thoughts as a warm body brushed against his.

"Hey," Brian said, slightly startled.

"Sorry, Bri, I didn't mean to scare you."

"No…no, you didn't. I was just…thinking."

"Ah, so that's what I smelled burning."

Swatting his lover's ass, Brian smiled and playfully added, "Twat."

"Ouch!" Justin shouted, rubbing his sore behind then climbed into the jeep next to Brian. "So, what's the plan for tonight?"

"Well, uh, actually, I need to talk to you."

"What about?" Justin instantly felt like he wasn't going to like what the other man had to say. He turned in his seat, facing Brian and waited…and waited…and waited some more. "God, Brian, you're killing me here!"

"Sorry," the man said with an apologetic smile. He cleared his throat and decided that he would just get it all out. "I have to go away for a couple of days."

"Wha…what?" Justin asked, not sure he'd heard right.

"Yeah, I have to go to New York. Something about my scholarship. They need to meet with me and it can't wait until September."

"Oh," the younger man said, nodding his head and looking down at his lap. It wasn't that he didn't trust Brian to be away…it was just that…he would be so alone…knowing that Brian wasn't just a phone call away if he needed him. He knew he was being silly and selfish, it was just that, well, he didn't want him to go.

Smiling, Justin raised his head, looking at Brian and he tried his best to sound strong. "I'm sure that it'll be okay. They probably just need you to sign some forms or look at some apartments or something."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's all it is. But, I'm sorry, baby, that I won't be here. You know I'd much rather be with you. You know that, right?"

"Of course, I know, Brian. I do."

Both men were silent, lost in their own thoughts when there was a loud rap on Brian's side window. They jumped, startled by the noise.

Brian's heart rate accelerated when he saw his father standing just outside the jeep, his face glaring at him through the window. Rolling it down, Brian asked, "What's wrong?"

Before he answered, Jack glanced inside the car and noticed the passenger. Instantly, the little voice inside his head told him that he'd better lay off, not wanting any more rumors flying around town from what the kid might hear…but then his asshole nature kicked in and he sneered. `He's nothing but a kid…who the fuck would listen to him anyway,' he thought as his mouth opened and it began…

"I thought I told you to make sure that you placed that order with Granger's."

"I did," Brian answered defensively. He was sick and tired of taking the blame for things when they got screwed up.

Standing a little taller and deepening his scowl, making him seem even more menacing than before, Jack continued, in a low and threatening tone. "Well, then Mr. Perfect, you can explain to me how the hell we didn't get our shipment and why there's not one fucking carton of milk in the back fridge."

Brian felt Justin's eyes on him, but not in a pitying way. He knew the man was watching him…wanting to make sure that he was okay. And he was…sort of. Taking a deep breath and trying to force down the urge to scream at the top of his lungs, knowing that it would NOT have a positive effect on his father's mood and the outcome of the confrontation, he said, "I…I…"

"You…you, WHAT?" Jack shouted.

Hating the fact that his father still got to him, Brian clenched his fists and tried again. "I have no idea what happened, but I KNOW that I placed the order. It must have been a mix up at Granger's. Did you call them?"

"Now why the hell would I call them and bring them into the mix if it was YOUR fault, like it usually is," the older man said accusingly, even though he knew that it was pretty much NEVER Brian's fault…okay, he couldn't think of even one time that it was actually his son's fault…but that wasn't the issue…nor something that he would ever admit.

"Well, why don't you go call them and tell them that they need to deliver it in the morning. I'm sure we'll have enough `till then." Brian's words were calm and rational, but inside, he was fucking ready to explode.

Looking once again over at Justin, then back to his son, Jack snarled then stomped off without another word, leaving his son dazed and embarrassed.

"Brian," Justin whispered, his hand moving to his lover's arm supportively.

Rolling up the window, Brian's head tipped back against the seat and he closed his eyes. "I…I just don't get it. I mean, what the hell did I ever do to piss God, or whatever higher power there is, OFF enough to stick me with that piece of shit and a mother who's not much better?" Opening his eyes, he turned his head to look at his boyfriend, tears of frustration stinging his eyes and he asked, "Tell me…please…what the fuck did I do?"

Justin's heart broke from the desperation so clear in Brian's voice. He didn't say anything because…well…what was there to say? He had no answer. All he could do was be there for the man that he loved and give him support. "Bri, I wish I could make it all go away. Every fucking bad thing and horrible moment that you've ever suffered through because of them, but I can't. All I can do is make it better from now on. And hope that it's enough. That I'm enough."

Reaching his hand up to wipe away the stray tears that spilled over onto Brian's cheeks, Justin leaned forward, his forehead resting against Brian's in a show of support and unconditional love.

"Justin, you do make it better and you are enough. You're all I need. Just you and the rest…they can just go fuck themselves." He tried to sound strong, but his words were soft and slow…and straight from his heart.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur of gentle caresses, meaningful gazes and whispered words of love.

They needed each other so desperately, and locked away inside the Taylor home…upstairs in Justin's room…they held onto each other tightly…knowing that they'd never, ever, let go.

********************************************************

When Brian got to New York, he immediately called Justin to let him know that he'd arrived safely after the long drive. He couldn't hide the sadness in his voice, but smiled, hearing the trust and pride beam through the line as Justin reassured him the he was there to pick where THEY were going to live.

Brian laughed and told him that he'd do his best and choose someplace that would suit their needs.

He grinned and shook his head when Justin reminded him that the only NEED that he should be concerned with was that it had a big enough bed and a tub large enough for two. "Always thinking with the little head instead of the big one," he teased.

"Hey, 1500 on my SATs had to have come from a combined effort. You don't think that I got that high all by myself, did you?" Justin answered, his own laughter barely contained.

"No, I guess not. But, then, how do you explain MY score…"

Justin jumped up off the bed in his room and started in warningly. "Brian, stop doing that. If you're NOT going to tell me what you got on your scores, don't tease me."

Laughing, knowing that the mere mention of his SAT scores always got Justin going, he looked at the clock on the bedside table and told his lover, sadly, that he'd better go and would call him later. He knew he had some papers to go over before he met with the scholarship people in the morning and he wanted to be prepared.

Hanging up, Brian sat down on the bed and smiled as he looked down at his fingers, absently playing across the cowry shell bracelet on his right wrist. Justin's bracelet, but temporarily now, his.

At first, when he'd seen Justin untying the leather straps, he was stunned. "What the hell are you doing?"

Looking up, Justin smiled and continued to unfasten the bracelet as he spoke. "Brian, I know it's silly. I mean, you'll only be gone a couple of days, but I need you to kind of take me with you. I want you to wear this, so I'll always be there."

Brian felt his lover take his right hand and place it in his lap and wrap the warm leather and shell bracelet around his wrist. He smiled, meeting Justin's eyes and understood. Once on, the blond raised Brian's hand and kissed his palm, then wrist, then placed the hand over his rapidly beating heart, letting him know that he was taking a piece of that with him too.

And every so often, since Justin had tied the piece of himself onto Brian's wrist, he couldn't help it as his fingers drifted to the spot, touching the smooth and jagged shells and the soft, strong leather straps and be reminded of the best thing in the world that was waiting for him at home.

Hearing the phone ring instantly brought Brian out of his fog and he reached for it, smiling, wondering if his baby missed him that much already.

"Hey…" Brian began, only to be immediately stopped as the smile faded from his lips when he heard the caller's voice.

"Brian, hi, it's me, Lindsay."

`Oh, shit.'

********************************************************

Brian was pacing. He knew it wasn't a good idea, but he didn't know what else to do.

"How the fuck…why'd she…arrghhhhh."

He couldn't even seem to form a coherent thought.

He knew he should have said no, but he was worried that his father might find out and then what?

No, he had no choice. He NEVER had a choice when Jack was involved.

He scowled.

Why the fuck did his old man always have to meddle in his life? He should never have told him where he was going. But, he did, and it came back and bit him in the ass.

Payback, that's what it was. It was payback from Jack for the whole incident with Granger's. He knew it. That bastard!

Shaking his head, he recalled the conversation on the phone between himself and Lindsay…

"Lindsay, how'd you know I was here and how did you get the number?"

"Oh, your father told my uncle that you were coming, and where you'd be and the rest was easy. I just called the temporary dorm housing clerk and he gave me the number."

The woman's cheerfulness was making him cringe.

"Uh, so, why'd you call?" Brian knew he wasn't being very polite, but he really didn't care. Was the woman EVER going to get a clue?

"Well, I was hoping that we could get together while you're here. Your father said that you'd wanted to see me again, so, I decided to call and see when you were free."

`My fucking father. That conniving son of a bitch. He'd say anything if it guaranteed him a break, no matter what the outcome does to me,' he thought, but what came out of his mouth even startled him…"Uh, sure…sure, I guess so." His head instantly fell into his hands, almost trying to hide from the horrible mistake that he'd just made.

"Great, well, how about right now. Or, are you busy? I know that you're probably going to be on the go all day tomorrow, so we don't have to make it a late night."

Brian was silent. His mind was screaming…NOOOO…but his voice finally kicked in and he said, "Yeah, fine."

"Oh, that's wonderful. How about I come pick you up. I'm sure you don't really know your way around yet, so, um, let's say in an hour or so?" Lindsay couldn't contain her excitement.

"Great, see you then."

"Good, oh, what room number?" she quickly added.

"I can meet you downstairs."

"No…no, I'll come up. I, uh, well, that way you won't have to wait around for me. What if I'm late?" Lindsay knew she needed to try to control the situation if things were going to go like she'd planned, and getting up to Brian's room was a major part of that plan.

"Okay, no problem, it's room 215, at the end of the hall."

"Okay, well, I'll see you in about an hour, then."

"Yeah, see you."

Brian hung up the phone and wanted to rip it out of the wall and hurl it across the room. "God, I'm so fucking pathetic!" he shouted, forgetting for a moment where he was and hoping that no one had heard him. He fell back on the bed, throwing his arm over his eyes and wondered, for the umpteenth time just how the hell his father always seemed to win.

So there he was, a little over an hour later, sitting on the bed, waiting for his `date' to arrive.

He heard a knock at the door and, taking a deep breath, opened it to find a very cheerful Lindsay on the other side.

"Hey."

"Hi, Brian. God, it's so good to see you. You look great."

Brian looked down at himself. Okay, he tried hard and thought that he pretty much always looked terrific, but right then, all he was wearing was a pair of old jeans and a white t-shirt, and Lindsay seemed to be literally drooling over him. He shrugged and just smiled then said, "Well, I guess we'd better get going…"

"Wait, what's the rush? Why don't we catch up a while?" And with that, Lindsay passed by Brian, purposely brushing up against him as she did. "Come over and sit with me."

Brian closed the door and looked to the bed where Lindsay sat, patting the spot next to her. `Uh, bad…bad idea,' he thought and took a seat in the chair next to the bed, not missing the way the woman's smile faltered.

"So, uh, what's been going on in your life since the last time I saw you?" the woman started, desperately wanting to bring Brian out of his shell. She slid forward on the bed, placing her hand on his knee and smiling up at him.

`This isn't good.' Forcing a smile, Brian said, "Nothing much. Just the same old stuff…and you?"

"Oh, I've been getting ready for school…much to my parent's dismay, things have changed and I'm no longer…"

But as she spoke, her fingers seemed to be moving upward along Brian's thigh and her body seemed to be edging forward, further off the bed and closer to the chair that Brian sat on…and then…

"Lindsay, what the fuck are you doing?" Brian shouted, pushing the woman off of him as he stood up, watching as she bounced back on the bed.

"Come on, Brian. Don't act so innocent. I know you want me just as much as I want you. It's obvious that you're attracted to me, just like I'm attracted to you."

Brian stood in the middle of the poorly lit, less than stellar dorm room, staring in disbelief at the woman who just wouldn't go away. He knew what he wanted to say, but if his father found out…fuck…he'd never make it to September, let alone two minutes after he walked in the front door of the house. So instead, he said, "Look, I…I'm not interested."

"Why not?" Lindsay felt angry and disappointed and she didn't understand why Brian kept pushing her away. He had to feel the same way she did…he just had to. "Am I not pretty enough?" she pouted. She knew that she was beautiful. She'd been told it her whole life. She just wanted to make Brian tell her himself.

"No, I think you're very pretty," he replied awkwardly. `Shit!'

Taking that as encouragement, Lindsay stood up and threw herself at Brian, bringing her lips down on his with a vengeance. `I'll show him what he needs,' she thought, but…

"No, Lindsay, I said no," Brian gasped, again, pushing the woman off of him. He so badly wanted to spit or wipe his mouth on his sleeve, but he thought that it probably wasn't polite.

Maybe when she left.

Slumping down into the vacant chair, Lindsay frowned, not sure what to do anymore.

But Brian didn't give her a choice.

"I think you should leave. Let's just forget it ever happened."

"What?" the woman demanded. That's not what she wanted at all.

"Please, go."

Stunned, unable to speak, Lindsay shook her head and without any other options she got up, opened the door, looked back at Brian, her tear filled eyes seeking some sort of sign to stay, and when she received none, she left, slamming the door behind her.

Instantly, Brian fell onto the bed, burying his face into the pillow and wondering what the hell had just happened and if his life could possibly get any more screwed up then it already was.

He didn't think that it could.

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