Missed You

 

“I, uh, I don’t think so.”

 

“Baby, it will be so much fun.  How can you pass up such a great party?”

 

“I just can’t.”

 

“Justin,” Emmett said seriously, his hand placed over the blond’s that was resting on the table.  “I really think you should come.  You haven’t been out in ages and all this moping around isn’t good, especially for such a hot little twink,” Emmett finished with a smile and a wink.

 

Justin couldn’t help but smile.  He knew his friend wanted the best for him, but he just didn’t think he could handle it.  He’d seen Brian lots of times since they’d broken up, but not in a social situation.  What if Brian was with someone, or picked someone up right in front of him?  He felt so vulnerable after everything that had happened with Brian and Ethan.  He didn’t want to be in the position to have to deal with more heartache, and he knew that’s what he’d feel if he had to witness Brian on the make.

 

Watching the blond’s face as his thoughts played across it, Emmett knew he wasn’t going to get his way easily.  He pulled out the big guns.  His face dropped, a worried look spread over it and he spoke in a quiet voice.  “Justin, I need you to be there.”  He saw the boy look at him with a concerned, questioning gaze.  “I really need to pull this off.  I have to show the high and mightys that I am capable.  Baby, please.”

 

Not able to resist, Justin closed his eyes and resignedly nodded his head.

 

“Ohhh, thank you sweetie.  Thank you so much,” Emmett gushed as he slid out of the booth and grabbed the blond, pulling him into a tight hug.  He released the boy and pulled back slightly, resting his hands on the smaller man’s shoulders.  With a huge smile he continued, “It’ll be so much fun.  You’ll see.  You’re going to have the best time and be so happy that you came.”

 

“If you say so, Em.  Well, I’d better get going.  I have a class and I don’t want to be late.  See you later,” Justin said as he left the diner.

 

“Yeah, see you later, baby…oh, and thanks again.  You won’t regret it.  I promise,” the excited man called to his friend, finishing just as the door shut behind the blond.  He slid back into the booth, picked up his coffee and took a long sip, a satisfied smile crossing his lips.  “That’s right, sweetie.  You just leave it all up to Aunty Em and everything will be right as rain,” the man said softly.  He got up, threw some money on the table to cover his coffee and left the diner, heading downtown for another very important meeting.

 

“Yoo hoo, anybody home?” Emmett sing-songed as he knocked on Brian’s partially open office door.

 

Brian looked up and scowled.  “What the fuck are you doing here and how did you get past my secretary? ”

 

“Well, it’s nice to see you too and no one’s out here except little old me,” Emmett said as he walked into the spacious office and looked around.  “Done some remodeling I see.”

 

“Yeah, I wanted something to go more with the new me.  More sophisticated, more eager, more…perfect, like me,” Brian said with a smirk.

 

“Uh huh,” Emmett said absently.  He knew that Brian was going to be even more difficult than Justin, but he had a plan.  He turned back towards the brooding man behind the desk and said, “So, I’m here to officially invite you to the ‘Nights of Desire’ party at the Gay and Lesbian Center.  It’s Friday and I really would love it if you would come.”

 

“No fucking way,” Brian said, tossing the invitation Emmett had handed to him onto his desk.

 

“Brian, I know it’s not your usual thing, but I really want you to come.”  His voice got softer and he poured on the desperate act again.  “I, well, I need this.  I need to make sure we get a good turn out, and if I spread the word that YOU are going to be there…well, that pretty much guarantees a ton of hot men are bound to want to come.  Please, you know I wouldn’t grovel if I didn’t really need your help.”

 

Brian looked up at his so-called friend.  He agreed that the man wouldn’t have asked him if he didn’t need his help.  Even though Brian would never admit it, he’d always liked the slightly over-the-top man.  He knew if he needed something that Emmett would be there for him.  Taking a deep breath and noisily releasing it to increase the suffering look he accompanied his answer with, Brian said, “Fine, I’ll be there, but you better not ask me for another fucking thing, EVER.”

 

“Oh, thank you, thank you.  I won’t.  I swear.  Never again.  Well, except that I really would love to get one of these mugs to take with me,” Emmett said pointing to the cool logo mugs Vanguard had made up for their employees.  Emmett thought he’d feel so sophisticated drinking his morning coffee from it.

 

Rolling his eyes, Brian said abruptly, “Fine, take it.  But if I were you, I’d wash my daily dose of arsenic out of it before you use it.  You didn’t think I got this cheerful on my own, did you?” the man asked sarcastically.

 

Smiling sweetly, Emmett took the mug, wondering for just a split second if maybe Brian was serious, then shook the thought from his head.  “Okay, will do.”  He backed towards the door and with an exaggerated wave and a little ‘goodbye’, he left.

 

“Uhhhhhhh,” Brain groaned as he slumped down into his leather chair.  He put his head in his hands and thought, ‘what the fuck did I agree to do that for?’ 

 

Brian had tried to maintain a friendly relationship with Justin since they…they…were no longer whatever they were.  He knew that he needed to keep the blond in his life and tried to do that with simple things, things he could control.  But he knew that Justin would probably be at this little soiree and he didn’t think he could handle being trapped in the same vicinity as the blond for more than a few minutes at a time.

 

He knew that Justin had broken up with his greasy-haired musician.  Rumors spread fast through the gay grapevine and the demise of the former King of Babylon’s relationship was hot gossip.  Brian wasn’t sure how to feel when he’d heard the news.  He thought Justin had found what he was looking for in the fiddler.  That’s why Brian had pushed him away, towards happiness instead of keeping him tied down in despair.  But now he didn’t know what to think.  He knew he wasn’t over the blond.  He thought of him so often that he could have sworn the twink had taken up house in his mind.  But he was still afraid to give the boy what he wanted, what he demanded.  He was afraid to get hurt again.  It had nearly killed him to watch Justin walk away at the Rage party and if he wanted the man back, he would have to open himself up, making himself even more vulnerable.  He knew he wouldn’t survive losing Justin again, but he also knew that he wouldn’t survive much longer without the boy back in his arms.  That he was sure of. 

 

He took another deep breath and slowly released it, trying to calm himself down and regain his mask of indifference.  He’d just have to make the best of it.  There was nothing else he could do.

 

Emmett walked out of Brian’s office building with a happy lilt in his step.  His plan had worked so far.  He just hoped that when Brian and Justin were together at the party, things went as well.  He crossed his fingers and made a wish on it, knowing that the two stubborn men would need all the help they could get.

 

********************

 

Friday night arrived quickly and Emmett stood just inside the doors of the Gay and Lesbian Center’s hall.  He was very proud of the way everything had turned out.  He wanted the party to have a sophisticated yet seductive feel to it, so the walls were draped with cascading white and silver tulle and the dozens of lit candles that were spread around the room cast a warm glow throughout.  The tables were set with white linens and covered in the same silver tulle as the walls.  He had drawn up a seating plan, placing a good mix of people at all the tables.  He’d even gone as far as to assign a particular seat to each person at their corresponding table.  But the truth was that that little detail was for the benefit of two particular guests.  He wasn’t about to let anything stand in the way of his plan when it came to getting Brian and Justin back together.  He was ready for anything.

 

Shortly after eight the guests started to arrive.  Everyone oohed and ahhed at the amazing job Emmett had done with the room.  The invitation had called for casual-chic so the dress ranged from the tame to the wildly flamboyant.  ‘The family’ arrived on time and to everyone’s surprise, Brian arrived not too much later. 

 

“Well, Brian, it’s nice to see you join us without your usual grand entrance several hours late,” Ted said sarcastically.

 

“Yeah, well, I figured the sooner I got here, the sooner I would be able to leave,” Brian said matter-of-factly.  He hadn’t mentioned that it had actually taken all his courage to even walk in the front door.  He’d sat in his car for several minutes, just outside the building trying to calm himself enough to be able to get out of the car.

 

So all were accounted for except Justin.  They all knew how hard it was going to be for the young man to deal with the evening, so when he walked in at around nine o’clock, no one mentioned his tardiness.

 

“Hey, baby,” Emmett gushed as he ran over to greet the boy.

 

“Hey, Em.  How’s it going?” the blond asked as he looked around the room.  “You did a great job.  It’s beautiful.”

 

“Why, thank you, honey.  I’m kinda proud of myself with the way it all turned out and it’s going great, by the way.  Come on, everyone’s over here,” the taller man said as he led Justin towards the middle of the room.

 

Brian looked up over the rim of his glass when he felt a spark in the air.  He knew that Justin had arrived and his eyes froze on the man’s form as he made his way towards the group.  He had to mentally calm himself down as he took in the sight of the intoxicating blond.   He was wearing a pair of black linen slacks and a cobalt-blue cashmere sweater that made his eyes sparkle and shine, even in the dimly lit room.  He was a walking wet dream and as Brian’s eyes followed Justin’s movements he saw many other interested sets of eyes following the boy as well.  This made his blood begin to boil and he had to remind himself that the blond was no longer his. 

 

“Hey there, Sunshine,” Debbie said rather loudly as the blond approached.

 

“Hey everyone,” Justin said with a smile as his eyes scanned the group.  He couldn’t help himself as they landed on Brian, meeting the older man’s gaze and remaining locked there.  He saw something in the man’s intense hazel eyes that he didn’t recognize.  They looked softer, almost remorseful.  He blinked slowly, wondering if he was just imagining it, but when he opened his eyes he was faced again with the same unfamiliar look.  Their spell over each other was broken as Michael’s whiney voice cut through the comfortable silence like a dull, scraping, painfully screeching knife.

 

“God, are they EVER gonna serve dinner?  I’m starved!”

 

“Yes, Michael, just relax.  Dinner is going to be started in a few minutes,” Emmett said after looking at his watch.  He loved his friend dearly, but sometimes he wished the man would get a clue and start acting his age.  “Why doesn’t everyone take their seats and hopefully the other guests will follow suit.  You all got your place cards, right?”

 

Everyone held up their little silver cards with their personalized information on it.  With them all blabbing at once it made it a little difficult to decipher, but somehow they managed to find out that Michael and Ben and Ted were at one table, Debbie and Vic at another and suprisedly Brian and Justin at another.  The whole group looked warily from Brian to Justin with the knowledge, but both men seemed quiet and accepting of the arrangements.  The gang parted and went to their respective seats.

 

“Um, here’s mine,” Brian said as he found the corresponding seat number from his place card on the back of a chair at table number three.

 

Justin looked at the card in his hand, then back at the chairs, then back again to the card.  He closed his eyes, silently cursing his so-called good friend for putting him right next to his ex-whatever the fuck he was.  When he opened his eyes he was met by a pair of inquisitive hazel ones.  Hesitantly he said, “Well, I guess I’m here.”  He pulled out the chair next to Brian’s and sat down with a heavy thud.  He didn’t know how much more of this torture he could take.

 

Brian could feel the boys discomfort at having to be so close to him.  He sighed disappointedly.  He didn’t want to cause those kind of feelings in Justin.  He knew the minute he’d seen the blond as he walked across the crowded room that he was doomed.  He wasn’t over Justin and had only tried to fool himself into thinking that he was.  His feelings were just as strong, if not stronger than the day they’d parted.  He thought that by pushing Justin away he would be released from the feelings he had for the young man, but that wasn’t the case.  Just sitting next to him, feeling the heat radiating off his body and inhaling the unique intoxicating scent of the man was driving him crazy.  He had to have Justin back.  It wasn’t a choice anymore.  It was a deep-seated need he felt within that he couldn’t fight any longer.

 

Soft music began to play as the DJ took his place and a few couples moved out onto the dance floor in the middle of the large room.  Brian glanced over at Justin who seemed to be starring off towards the dancers.  He knew what he was about to do would raise several brows from across the room, but he didn’t care.

 

“Justin.”

 

The blond was so lost in thought that at first he wondered if he’d just imagined hearing his name.  But as his mind wrapped around the voice and direction from where the sound came, he realized that Brian had really said it.  Swallowing hard, he turned towards Brian and said softly, “Yes?”

 

“Would you…” Brian had to stop and clear his throat before he could finish, “would you like to dance?”

 

The look on the young man’s face was one of complete shock.  He tried to not let it show but it crept out before he could gain control of it.  The look on Brian’s face was sincere and it instantly calmed him down.  He knew what a big step it was for Brian to ask him to dance, in front of all their friends, their family, their peers.  He licked his lips that had suddenly become desert dry and nodded his head, afraid of what might come out if he even tried to speak.

 

Brian stood up and held out his hand to Justin.  The younger man looked down at the offered hand, then up at the amazing man waiting patiently for him to accept it.  Without another thought, he placed his hand in Brian’s and felt as the man wrapped his larger one around it.  They made their way out to the middle of the dance floor and it began.

 

“Holy shit,” Ted gasped as he saw the two men begin to dance.

 

“What the fuck?” Michael added in an obviously pissed off tone.  He never got over what had happened between Brian and Justin and didn’t want to see his friend go through anything like it again.  Michael knew that Brian tried to fool everyone into believing that he wasn’t affected by the loss of the blond, but he knew the truth.  It had devastated Brian.  Even thought he didn’t want to admit it, Justin was good for his best friend and he knew that they loved each other.  He just wished that it was him that Brian was in love with instead of some perfect little blond with a perfect little ass and a perfect little smile.  He sighed heavily and instantly felt a little better when Ben’s strong arm wrapped around his shoulder.  He leaned into his boyfriend and knew that even if he couldn’t have Brian, he did have someone who loved him and that he loved in return.  What more could anyone ask for?

 

“Well, I for one can’t wait to see what happens next,” Emmett said with a huge smile.  His plan was working wonderfully and he couldn’t be happier.  Now he’d just have to sit back and watch the chemistry the men shared take over.  It was so powerful, well beyond their control, and he counted on it providing a pleasant display for all his hard work.  He got comfortable in his chair, grabbed his drink and relaxed, watching the entrancing couple out on the floor.

 

Brian wrapped his long arms over Justin’s shoulders as they began to move to the music.  At first the blond tried to keep his eyes cast downwards and his hands to himself, but he felt himself slowly losing the battle as their bodies moved closer together, brushing against each other.  Seemingly of their own accord, his arms wrapped around Brian’s lean waist and his eyes traveled upwards to be met by an intense pair of hazel ones.  Neither man spoke, but their eyes said volumes.  Their bodies swayed, their arms tightened and their eyes remained locked as the song played out.

 

“Well, um, thanks for the dance,” Justin said and went to move out of the older man’s hold.

 

“No, please, stay for another song,” Brian said quickly and his hands dropped from the smaller man’s shoulders, holding Justin’s arms in place on his waist.  He knew he was coming off as desperate, but he didn’t care.  He didn’t want to lose their connection.

 

“O-okay,” was all the stunned blond could get out.  He was overwhelmed by Brian’s display.  He didn’t know what to think or feel.  He loved the warm feeling of Brian’s hands on his arms, holding them to his body.  The song that was playing was slightly faster and so their movements sped up to keep in time with the pounding beat.

 

Brian felt like the beat of the song was echoing his rapidly beating heart.  His thumbs continuously brushed across the soft skin of Justin’s arms as he held onto them.  His eyes bore into the deep blue ones in front of him and he found himself drowning in their openness and innocence.  He didn’t know how he survived the past months that they were apart without being able to gaze into the pools of blue. 

 

He moved his arms back around the blond’s shoulders and pulled their bodies closer again.  He felt his pants tightening as his excitement from the feel of the boy next to him became unbearable.  He couldn’t contain it any longer.  His hardening cock brushed against Justin’s and he sighed softly when he felt the same hardness press back at him.  He saw Justin’s eyes flutter closed and heard his gentle moan.  A smile spread across Brian’s face from the sound.

 

“I’ve missed you, Justin,” Brian said softly.

 

The younger man’s eyes flew open, not sure if he’d imagined it or actually heard Brian say those words to him.  The smile on the brunet’s face told him that he’d actually heard them.  He swallowed hard around the lump in his throat and willed away the tears that threatened to spill.  “I…I’ve missed you too.”

 

Brian couldn’t hold back a second longer.  He lowered his face and pressed a gentle kiss against the irresistible lips.  Justin returned the kiss, but as Brian pulled back, he was met by fire blazing in the younger man’s eyes.

 

“So, when you say you missed me, what exactly is it that you missed?  My mouth, my ass, what?” Justin said heatedly.  He thought that Brian was being genuine in his feelings but he realized that the man had probably only missed having sex with him.  He knew he missed that with Brian as well, and wasn’t exactly sure why he was so mad, but he was.  He felt his heart fall as a feeling of sadness washed over him.

 

“No, Justin, that’s not what I meant.  I missed YOU,” Brian replied, trying to defend himself.

 

“Uh-huh, sure.  Well, thanks for the dance.  See ya,” Justin said as he threw Brian’s arms off of his shoulders and walked away.  He knew the older man’s eyes were following him so he went over to Deb and Vic’s table and sat down heavily in a vacant chair.

 

“Oh, no, this doesn’t look very good,” Emmett said as he watched the little scene play out between the two men.  He had to think of something fast to repair the damage and set things on the right track again.  But before he could make a move, he saw a defeated looking Brian head towards the bar.  “My, my, my – we are in for trouble now.”

 

Brian knew he had to figure out a way to get Justin to come home with him so he could make him understand how he was feeling.  He didn’t want to do it in front of the entire room, but he would if he had to.  He didn’t think that if he just asked the man that he would fall all over himself to comply.  He had to devise a plan and as he stood at the bar, sipping only his second drink of the night, it came to him.  He quickly downed the rest of his Jim Beam and ordered another.  He looked around the room to see if any of the gang was watching him and was pleasantly surprised to find them occupied.  He downed the drink in his hand, wanting to get a slight buzz, but not going further than that.  He ordered one more, this one for show and put his plan into action.

 

“Hey, Mikey,” he yelled rather loudly across the crowded room.  Immediately Michael turned and Brian saw his friend close his eyes and knew what he was thinking.  That he’d have to bail him out again.  The sight made him a little sad.  He wondered how often he had actually taken advantage of their friendship like that?  Too many times, he was sure of that and Michael’s face was a dead giveaway of the fact.  He made a silent vow to change that.  He didn’t think it was healthy for him to lead his friend on anymore.  He didn’t want Michael that way and he never would.  He had to let him go and he had to learn to depend on the one person he really did want to be with that way.  Justin.

 

Brian watched as Michael whispered something into Ben’s ear and then both men turned to look at him.  “Better make this good,” he said to himself as the two men approached, followed closely behind by the rest of the family. 

 

“Brian, you’re drunk.  I think I should get you home,” Michael told his friend as the man held onto the bar for support.

 

“No, Justin can take me home.  Can’t you, Sunshine?” Brian slurred his words slightly as he turned towards the blond, purposefully ignoring the shocked looks on everyone else’s face.

 

“Um, well, I…wouldn’t you prefer Michael?” Justin said, trying desperately to get himself out of the task.  He wasn’t even sure why he’d followed Deb up to the bar.  He figured it was out of need to see what the man had gotten himself into this time and to make sure that he was okay.

 

“Nope, I think YOU would be perfect.  In fact, I think you ARE perfect,” Brian said sweetly.  He pretended to not hear the little gasps and noises from the group at his admission, but he didn’t ignore the beaming smile and shining eyes from Justin.  That sight caused his heart to beat a little faster and a genuine smile to spread across his face.  He loved it when he said the right thing and made Justin happy.  It was so easy and took such simple things, but he’d never paid much mind to it before.  He knew that this time he would.  He knew that this time he would do lots of things differently.

 

Emmett smiled as he watched Justin lead Brian out of the hall.  He noticed Brian’s body straighten and his steps become steady as the blond’s arm wrapped tightly around his waist.  “You sly devil,” Emmett said quietly.  He shook his head and smiled at the older man’s tactics.  His plan had worked after all.  He turned towards the room with his satisfied smile still in place and glided his way back to the fabulous party.

 

********************

 

“Okay, Brian, you’re home safe and sound now.  I think you’d better get some rest and try to sleep it off,” the blond said with his arm wrapped around the taller man’s waist as he led him up to the bed.

 

“Thanks, Justin, for helping me to get home safely.  I really appreciate it,” Brian said genuinely.

 

“Well, I guess I’ll get going.”  Justin was slightly taken back by Brian.  He wasn’t used to him being so open and generous with his words.  He turned and walked down the steps from the bedroom.

 

“Justin,” Brian called louder than necessary.  He wasn’t sure what to say, but he knew he had to say something to keep the blond from leaving.  Justin turned around to face Brian and he saw the glassiness of unshed tears lurking in the corners of the bright blue eyes.  The sight of the usually exuberant boy, looking so defeated made Brian’s heart hurt.  He knew what he wanted to say and felt he didn’t have anything else to lose. “Justin, please, stay with me tonight.”

 

The younger man was standing in the middle of the loft.  He lowered his head and when he finally spoke his voice was soft and held such resignation, “Bri…”

 

Before he could finish, Brian cut him off,  “Please.”

 

Justin’s head came up and his eyes met Brian’s.  He was surprised by the depth of raw emotion so clear in the older man’s single word.  He was scared that if he did stay, he would never want to leave.

 

“Justin, please.”

 

Not strong enough to resist, not wanting to resist, Justin nodded his reply.  He made his way over to the couch, intending on sleeping there but again, Brian’s words stopped him in his tracks.

 

“No, I want you to sleep with me.  In our bed.”

 

The use of the word ‘our’ wasn’t lost on the blond.  He turned towards his ex-lover and saw the same look again.  The one he’d seen at the party and wondered if he was supposed to read into it, to understand the meaning behind it.  He shook his head and replied, “Brian, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

 

“I won’t do anything.  I just want to feel you beside me.”  Brian couldn’t believe he was practically begging Justin to sleep with him, but he didn’t care.  He was desperate to feel the soft, warm skin next to his.  He’d been without it for far too long.

 

Without words, Justin moved up towards the platform.  He felt Brian’s eyes on him the entire way.  He went to the opposite side of the bed and began to undress.  He removed everything but his briefs, trying to ignore the hazel eyes burning into his exposed skin and purposely not looking in Brian’s direction.  He didn’t think he would be able to resist the sight of the man’s body unrobed.  Justin pulled back the covers, climbed into the bed and turned onto his side so that his back faced the brunet’s direction.  He stayed as close to the edge of the bed as he could without falling off.

 

Brian couldn’t tear his eyes away from Justin as he undressed.  The sight of his pale skin was intoxicating.  His body burned with longing to touch the beautiful man.  He watched him climb into the bed and move as far away as possible.  He understood his apprehension and didn’t let it get to him.  He climbed into bed, but instead of keeping to his side, he moved into the middle, close enough to feel the heat coming off the younger man’s exposed flesh.  Not able to control himself, he slid closer to the blond, pressing his naked body up against the man’s back.

 

Justin was trying his best to detach himself from his body.  He repeated the same mantra over and over in his mind – ‘fall asleep, fall asleep, fall asleep.’  He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the rustling as Brian moved closer and his body instantly stiffened and his eyes shot open when he felt the long body press against him from behind and a strong arm wrap around his waist.

 

“Justin,” was all Brian whispered.

 

The younger man tried to pull forward but he was right at the edge of the bed.  He felt Brian’s arm tighten further around his waist stopping his movement.  “Brian, I…I…” was all he could muster.  He didn’t know what to say or do.  It felt so good being wrapped in the man’s hold, but he was scared.  Scared to give his heart again, just to have it stomped on.

 

“Justin…I…oh, God, I need you,” Brian confessed against the boy’s neck as his lips dipped down and placed a soft kiss against the pale column.

 

“Brian…ohhhhhh…Briaaaaannnnnn,” the younger man moaned at the feel of the warm, wet mouth on his skin.  He couldn’t help himself.  He felt Brian’s hard cock pushing against his ass and it made him shiver.  His eyes fluttered closed and his mouth hung open as his breathing became ragged.  He turned his head slightly, offering better access to the man behind him.

 

“You taste so good.  So right,” Brian whispered as he continued his assault.

 

As if a light went on, instantly Justin straightened.  “Brian, we…we can’t do this.  I don’t want to be just another fuck for you.”  The blond’s voice betrayed his feelings of sadness.  He didn’t want to be used and discarded, which he was sure would happen if he let Brian have his way.

 

Brian felt like a knife had stabbed him in the heart from Justin’s words.  He knew how scared the blond was and he wanted to make him understand that he wasn’t about to use him and toss him aside.  He moved his mouth to the boy’s ear and whispered softly, laying his feelings open for the man to hear.  “Justin, please.  I need you.  I don’t want to lose you again.”

 

“Ohhhhh, I…I…” Justin didn’t know what to say.  All he knew was that his head was spinning.  He couldn’t believe that Brian would expose his feelings like that.  It was overwhelming and what he’d always wanted from the man.  He felt Brian’s warm breath against his cheek as the man’s full lips parted and sucked his earlobe into his mouth.  The sensation was amazing.  It felt like his entire body was being gently licked by Brian’s soft tongue.  His back arched, pushing his ass backwards towards the older man’s erection.

 

“Oh, Justin, fuck…ahhhhh,” Brian gasped at the increased pressure against his throbbing cock.

 

Justin’s own erection was rock hard and pulsing.  Precum bubbled from the slit profusely.  He so badly wanted Brian to touch him but he knew the man was waiting for him to make the first move as not to scare him away.  Justin placed his hand over Brian’s that was still wrapped around his waist and moved it downwards, placing the large hand on his cloth covered cock.  He couldn’t help the low moan that escaped his parted lips from the contact.

 

Brian was thrilled with Justin’s actions, but he needed to feel the real thing.  He slid his hand inside the boy’s briefs and moaned into Justin’s ear as his fingers came in contact with the hot, hard cock that he’d missed so much.  He wrapped his long digits around it and gave a squeeze.

 

“Ahhhhhh,” Justin moaned loudly.

 

“You feel so good, Justin.  I missed touching you so much,” Brian panted as his hand slowly moved up and down the younger man’s cock.  He couldn’t control himself any longer and his hips began to thrust, rubbing his painfully hard erection against the soft fabric of Justin’s briefs.  He gasped as a jolt of pleasure shot through his body.  Fluid leaked from his slit, wetting the thin material.  As he continued to rub back and forth along Justin’s crack, the material slid inside the crevice, allowing his cock to slip a little further between the cheeks.

 

Both men were panting heavily, enjoying the feel of each other again, but they wanted more.  Justin pulled Brian’s hand out of his briefs then turned around to face him.  Their eyes locked in the dimly lit room.  Justin saw fear in Brian’s eyes and was completely taken back.  He didn’t think that was even an emotion the older man registered.  He knew what he needed to do to and even though he was scared, he didn’t want to let the moment pass them by.  Taking a deep breath and bracing himself for whatever would happen, Justin said, “Brian, I love you.”

 

It took a few seconds for the younger man’s words to register and when they did, a huge smile spread across Brian’s gorgeous face.   He was completely prepared to be rejected by the blond, but instead received the exact opposite.  He raised his hand to Justin’s face and caressed his cheek, rubbing his thumb across the soft skin.  He gathered his courage and said, “I love you too, Justin.”

 

Instantly, Justin’s mouth was on his.  The kiss was deep and powerful.  Their tongues swirled and licked and tasted the familiar sweetness that was desperately missed.  They pulled apart reluctantly, gasping for air.  Not wanting to lose the contact, Brian moved in again and gently nipped and sucked at the blond’s full lips.  They were irresistible. 

 

“Brian…I…I can’t wait…please…fuck me…oh, Bri…please,” Justin whimpered.  He felt every single nerve in his body pulsing and buzzing with excitement.  He couldn’t keep still as his lithe form writhed along side Brian.

 

“Are you sure?” Brian asked timidly, reminding himself of another time when he asked the same question of the younger man.  He quickly pushed the past out of his mind and focused on the present.

 

“I’m sure.  I’m so fucking sure…that I’m going…to explode…if you don’t,” the boy panted as his body continued to vibrate.

 

Brian could tell that Justin’s senses were on overload by his uncontrollable movements.  He felt the same amount of longing as the younger man, he just had more control over his body, coming from years of practice.  But even with his many years on Justin, he’d never felt for anyone what he felt now for him.  Never. 

 

He reached over to the nightstand, retrieving a condom and the lube.  He pushed the boy onto his back and automatically Justin spread his legs, offering himself.  Brian smiled at the eagerness and at the way the man’s hips were in constant motion, almost as if he were trying to fuck the air.  The boy was the purest form of lust, desire and need.  He lay so open and wanton it took Brian’s breath away.

 

“You are so fucking beautiful, Justin.  So perfect,” Brian said huskily.

 

Panting so hard, Justin didn’t even try to speak, but the incredible smile that spread across his face was answer enough.

 

Brian squirted some lube onto his fingers, rubbing it between them to warm the slick liquid.  His eyes remained locked with Justin’s as he placed a finger at the exposed opening.  The boy’s bucking hips pushed upwards harder, forcing the long digit inside. 

 

“Ahhhhhhhhhh,” Justin moaned at the pain and then pleasure of being penetrated.  Fighting to keep his eyes locked with Brian’s as the slick finger slid in and out of him proved to be even more difficult as the older man slipped a second finger inside of the warm channel, brushing firmly against his prostate.  “OH FUCK,” he screamed and couldn’t control it any longer as his eyes rolled shut and his back arched off the bed.

 

“Feels good?” the brunet taunted as his fingers continued to play with Justin’s ass.  The boy was frantically trying to fuck himself on Brian’s hand and the older man watched in amazement.  The blond was unabashedly going for what he desired and it was sexy as hell.  Not able to wait a second longer, he picked up the condom, ripping it open with his teeth and with his free hand he rolled it on his dick.  He pulled his finger out and quickly replaced it with the head of his rock-hard cock and pushed all the way in.

 

“Oh, God,” Brian moaned loudly.

 

“Bbbrrrriiiiiannnnnnn,” Justin whimpered and clung tightly to the man above him, his legs wrapping around the man’s slim waist.  His head flung back on the pillows and his back arched, pushing Brian even deeper inside.

 

“Ahhh, Justin…Justin,” Brian breathed against the blond’s shoulder.  He couldn’t believe how amazing it felt to be inside him again.  The way they fit together so perfectly, their bodies molding against each other, melting into each other.  It was so right and Brian was never going to be without it again.  “I love you, Justin…I love you so fucking much.”

 

Justin’s body and mind were so overwhelmed.  The ecstasy coursing through his body and Brian’s words seeping into his mind were driving him insane with need.  He couldn’t wait another second and began to wildly buck upwards, slamming his hips against Brian’s.

 

“Okay, baby…okay.  Just keep still,” Brian said soothingly as he lifted his head and saw the desperation on his lover’s face.  Justin’s bright blue eyes, now opened, were starring up at him, silently pleading with him for more.  The older man pulled his hips back, slipping his long, thick member slowly out of the warm channel, then smoothly slid back in.  He knew Justin wanted it faster and harder, but he wanted to take his time, make it last as long as he could.  “Relax…we have all the time in the world.”

 

The blond nodded his understanding and continued to pant and whimper as Brian thrust torturously slow inside of him.  He felt like every inch of his body was being fucked.  The pleasure flowed from the tip of his toes to the top of his head, causing him to shake and moan uncontrollably.  His dick was trapped between their sweat-slicked stomachs and with every movement Brian made, it got a slow rubdown, sending shivers up his spine.  He knew he couldn’t hold out much longer.  His hips, which he had stilled at his lover’s request, were aching to move.

 

“I missed this…being inside you…so tight…so warm…so good,” Brian moaned, his warm breath washing over Justin’s face, his intense hazel eyes bore into the inviting pools of blue beneath him.  He watched as the younger man tried desperately to keep his eyes open, wanting to maintain that contact.  Brian felt like their entire beings, their bodies and souls were fucking.  It was incredible and he’d never felt so alive.  He angled his hips slightly, increasing the speed and depth of his thrust into his lover, watching for the reaction he knew would come.

 

“ARRRGHHHHHH!” Justin screamed at the top of his lungs.  His body jerked wildly as Brian’s cock jabbed hard against his swollen prostate over and over again.  He couldn’t keep his eyes open no matter how hard he tried.  He knew he couldn’t take much more of the exquisite torture. 

 

“Baby…I want…you to come…with me.”

 

“Oh, yes…please…please, Bri.”

 

“Yeah…almost…almost…” Brian’s thrusts were short, fast and hard.  He barely pulled out at all, just rammed the blond’s battered hole over and over again.  He felt his cock swell impossibly further and knew he was there.  He angled his hips sharply, going for the ultimate goal, and then…”NOW.”

 

“OH…BRI…UUUGGGGHHHHH!”

 

“JUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”

 

Both men jerked and moaned as their orgasms tore through them with immeasurable force.  Brian felt Justin’s ass clamp down on his throbbing cock and the cum shot hard and fast out of his pisshole, filling the condom to capacity.  Justin felt Brian’s cock pulse and spasm inside him, increasing his pleasure even further.  His trapped erection exploded between them, shooting the hot fluid over and over again, until he was left weak and shaking.

 

Unable to support himself any longer, Brian fell forward, slightly crushing the smaller frame beneath him.  He knew that Justin loved to feel every inch of his body against him so he didn’t try to pull up.  His breathing was erratic and his heaving chest pushed down against Justin’s as the boy’s pushed up against his.  After a few minutes, when his breathing had calmed slightly, he pulled his head up and moved it so he could look down at Justin’s face.

 

Justin was so pleasantly exhausted.  He felt Brian’s movement above him and forcefully opened his eyes, blinking several times to gain focus.  Instantly he smiled, being met with the most genuine smile from the older man.  He’d never felt so connected to anyone in his life as he did to Brian at that moment. 

 

“That was amazing.  I’ve missed you so much, Justin.  I want you to come home,” Brian said confidently as his thumb brushed lovingly across the boy’s soft cheek.

 

“Bri, I…” Justin’s eyes flitted downwards, not sure what to say.  He wanted to be with Brian, but not the way things were before.  He didn’t want to always be guessing what the man thought or wondering about his place in Brian’s life.  He wanted something real and meaningful.

 

“Justin,” Brian said and the boy’s eyes reluctantly met his again.  He understood the hesitancy.  He knew that what they had before wasn’t going to be enough this time around.  But he felt different.  He felt like he could do the right thing, be the man he wanted to be.  It was a choice this time, not a situation that either of them was being coerced into.  He wanted Justin, no doubts.  “I want us to be together, lovers, partners.  I want us to have a life together, not just try to exist.  I’m asking you to come back to me, to give me another chance to prove to you that I can be what you want.  What we both want.  Please, Justin, come home.”

 

A beaming smile shone from Justin’s face and his eyes spilled over with tears.  He was so happy.  He finally was going to get what he’d wanted for so long – Brian.  He lifted his head and placed a sweet kiss against his lover’s beautiful lips then rested his head back against the pillow.  “I’m already home.”

 

Brian smiled and a single tear spilled from the corner of his right eye.  They were home.

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