Meant to Be

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"Are you sure this is the wine your mother likes? Shit, I should've gotten the one I wanted. Fuck, maybe I'll turn back and…"

"Brian, God, calm down. It'll be fine…better than fine," Justin quickly corrected himself when faced with his lover's glare. He was prepared for Brian to turn the Jeep around and head back any second.

"Okay, I know I'm acting like an idiot, I just want everything to go over well. It's not everyday I sit down to dinner with my lover's parents. Fuck, I've NEVER had dinner with a lover's parents in my entire fucking life…hardly ever had dinner with my OWN parents, let alone…and I can tell you how great those few times turned out…for shit, that's how…fuck, Justin, I'm rambling…I've turned into a fucking dyke who rambles…"

Wanting to laugh but knowing it would just make things worse Justin swallowed hard and said, "Brian, calm down. You look great and the wine's perfect. Besides, I'm wearing my lucky t-shirt," the blond finished with a smile.

"Oh, shit, here we go with the fucking t-shirts again…"

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"Justin, you look wonderful…oh, and Brian, it's so nice to see you again," Jennifer beamed as she ushered the men inside. She was so glad to have her son home again…even if only for the night.

"Nice to see you too, Mrs. Taylor."

"Jennifer…please, call me Jennifer."

Brian nodded and smiled, hoping it looked genuine and not as strained as it felt. It was one thing calling Justin's father Craig…he had no problem with that…but calling his mother Jennifer, well, that was gonna take some getting used to.

"Justin!" came a shout from across the room and all eyes turned, catching a petite strawberry blond making a beeline towards them.

"Mol…hey…umph," Justin grunted as the smaller version of himself tackled him.

"I missed you. I had THE BEST time at camp, but I really missed you, Jus." Pulling back, eyes focused on her brother the girl whispered, "And I come back and you're gone. Moved out. Why, Jus?"

Justin was stunned by the sadness in his sister's voice, standing speechless, as were the other adults…and then…

"So THIS is the man who took you away. Hmph, he's skinny and really tall and he looks like he might actually pass a watermelon before he cracks a real smile."

Brian knew he looked tense, but fuck…

"Molly Jessica Taylor, you apologize right this minute. We didn't raise you to talk like that. Especially not to members of the family," Jennifer piped up, staring harshly at her daughter.

Both Brian and Justin's heads shot up, their eyes connecting as the last word flew from Jennifer's mouth.

Justin smiled, thrilled, hoping that maybe his father felt the same way.

Brian wondered if he ran away, really, really fast, would they chase after him?

But as coherent thoughts finally returned and he could take a breath without his heart feeling like it was going to burst through his chest, he saw the look on his lover's face and couldn't help but smile. This was a good thing…really good.

And then Molly spoke again.

"So you're the boyfriend, huh?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"Right, so did you turn Justin gay?"

"Molly!" Justin shouted.

Jennifer just shook her head and sighed. She knew her daughter wasn't going to make things easy…she never did. And for some sick, twisted reason that she didn't want to think about, she was enjoying the little experiment in torture that her daughter was putting Brian through.

Clearing his throat, pushing down the impulse to tell the little girl to fuck off then walk away, Brian just smiled, knowing that this time it was more of a smirk, but he really didn't care, and said, "Nope, Molly, he turned ME gay."

"What?!" both Justin and Jennifer shouted in unison.

But Molly just smiled and nodded, enjoying the man's weird sense of humor, thinking, 'Maybe he isn't gonna be so bad after all.'

Just then Craig barged through the front door and everyone turned as he said, "Sorry, sorry, I know I'm late. But one thing led to another and before I knew it Jerry was pushing me to play just one more game, and then, well, here I am."

"It's okay, Dad, we didn't get here too long ago. And Molly's been kind enough to entertain us while we've been waiting," Justin said with a sarcastic grin.

Looking around at the other adults, Craig asked Brian, "How bad was it?"

"Well, I think that your daughter has a brilliant future ahead in prisoner interrogation if she's interested."

Cringing, the older man asked, "That bad, huh?"

"Yep, that bad. But I'm still in one piece, at least so far, so I think I may survive after all."

Walking away toward the kitchen, the youngest Taylor called over her shoulder, "I wouldn't bet on it."

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"Dinner was great, Jennifer." Brian hoped that he hadn't stumbled on the woman's name, though he was pretty certain he had. But if she'd noticed, it didn't reflect on her face, her perfect smile still firmly in place.

"I'm just thrilled that you boys could make it. We're really glad that everything's working out for you two…that you're happy."

"We…we are." Brian wasn't used to being so open and honest, especially where emotions were involved. But after spending a night at the Taylor home, he realized that they all were. At first he'd thought that Molly's reception was somewhat rude and invasive, but after a while he figured out that she was just trying to protect her brother…make sure that he was happy and that Brian was keeping him that way.

He had to smile as the girl moved closer, her blue eyes sparkling mischievously as she pulled him down toward her.

"Brian, you make sure that he's alright, and that he's happy. If you don't you'll have me to deal with."

Nodding, his face only inches away from the girls he replied, "Don't worry, I will."

"Good," Molly said, her satisfaction with his answer evident as she leaned forward, placing a sweet kiss against Brian's cheek before pulling back and smiling shyly.

"God, another one under your spell," Justin groaned, seeing his sister's eyes cloud over, the huge smile now plastered across her face.

Brian shrugged, knowing that sooner or later he could win over even the most stubborn opponent, shook Craig's hand goodbye, wrapped his arm around Justin's shoulder and led him out to the Jeep.

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Once they got home, stripped and climbed into bed, coming together in the center, Justin asked, "So, what'dya think of my sister?"

Sighing audibly, Brian replied, "Fuck, Justin, with all the shit that I've had to deal with in my life, who would've thought that a petite thirteen year old strawberry-blond would make me sweat?"

Laughing, his face pressed firmly against his lover's chest, Justin said, "Yeah, well, she's definitely in your corner now, you big flirt."

"Me?" Brian asked with mock indignation.

"Hmph, now you're Mr. Innocent, right?"

"Yep, that's me…definitely innocent, isn't that right?" the older man asked, his hand wandering downward, brushing not-so-innocently across Justin's luscious ass.

"Oh, yeah, as soon as I think of you, innocent is the first word that comes to mind."

"Well then, I think we're gonna have to do something to change that."

So they did.

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"Fuck!"

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"FUCK!"

"Justin, what's going on?"

Moving deeper into the loft, Justin looked up to find Brian standing at the top of the stairs that led to their bedroom, his hair dripping wet, a small, red towel wrapped around his hips, his hand holding it in place.

Suddenly, his problem didn't seem so important.

"Justin?"

Realizing that he was staring and hadn't answered, Justin cleared his throat and said, "I-I'm okay. Just something happened at school today that pissed me off. Nothing big. Don't worry. It's alright."

"Are you sure? You didn't seem alright a minute ago when you burst through the door."

Moving up to join his lover, his eyes dropping to the towel before moving back up again, enjoying the journey as they slowly traveled the incredible path of Brian's well-toned abs and chest, his long graceful neck, his strong jaw, perfect, full lips and beautiful nose…the blond smiled, reached out, tugging at the towel, listening as it hit the floor and said, "I'm sure." His hand moving forward, cupping his lover's growing erection he nodded and repeated in a voice now husky with lust, "I'm sure."

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Justin was a little concerned one night, about a week later, when Brian didn't come home and didn't call. He knew that the man was just probably out with a client and couldn't get away, but it was so unlike him. He usually let Justin know when he had a business meeting that was gonna run late, or if he had dinner plans, just so he wouldn't worry.

Not that he was worrying.

No, it was just strange…and unusual behavior…and he didn't really understand it…

But he wasn't worried.

No, not at all.

And when the front door slid opened and Brian walked in, Justin tried to act like he hadn't been waiting up, and said, "Hey, you're home. How was your meeting?"

He thought it sounded rational.

But obviously Brian hadn't because instead of coming over to him to kiss him hello the man headed straight for the bathroom, ignoring him completely.

And when Justin heard the shower start he wondered if maybe Brian hadn't heard him. It was possible. Maybe his mind was so focused on whatever had happened with his client that he'd been preoccupied and headed for the shower, not even noticing the blond sitting there, waiting, holding his breath…and definitely NOT worrying.

Yeah, that had to be it.

So Justin locked the door, set the alarm, shut off most of the lights scattered around the loft and headed up the stairs. Smiling, he picked up Brian's discarded suit off of the floor and began to fold it, knowing how much his lover hated a wrinkled suit.

But instantly his senses were bombarded with an array of scents. The strong stench of sweat and cum permeated his nose as they wafted heavily off of the discarded clothes.

"Fuck," Justin gasped, dropping the clothing as if holding them even one more second would've singed his fingers.

But instead, he felt the burn in his chest, right in the vicinity of his aching heart.

He knew that they'd never really discussed being monogamous.

He knew the way that Brian felt about the subject.

But he thought that…fuck, he wasn't sure what he thought.

Maybe it was nothing.

Maybe he was just imagining it.

But just then the bathroom door flung open and Brian stepped out, somewhat startled by his lover's presence…and obviously uncomfortable with it as his hazel eyes dropped to the floor, unable to meet Justin's gaze.

"Brian?" was all that seemed to slip by the lump in Justin's throat.

Looking up, their eyes meeting briefly, Justin saw the intense emotions shifting back and forth in Brian's beautiful eyes…love…fear…strength…remorse…defeat…sadness…and so many other things that just whizzed on past, leaving the younger man feeling hurt and unsure.

Brian's mind instantly wandered back to the time he'd spent at The Spa. He hadn't fucked anyone in the nearly two months that he was there. Okay, so the muscles in his right hand had definitely gotten a fierce workout, but jerking off alone in the shower couldn't compare to the thrill of a nice, tight ass wrapped around his stiff cock.

And after that first night with Justin, he hadn't felt the pull to be with anyone else. He didn't exactly know why. It was such a foreign feeling for him…one that he really couldn't understand.

To Brian, sex had always been about release…getting off with a minimum of bullshit involved, but with Justin, it was totally different. When they fucked, he felt the intense emotion and immeasurable pleasure throughout his entire body and mind. It was overwhelming and sometimes even frightening…especially since he was used to being so detached from the source of that pleasure.

Get hard…slide it in…fuck…cum…slip it out.

Mindless and satisfying was what Brian had always been about…until now.

But he wasn't sure if he could give it up. He loved Justin. He was sure of it. But tricking had always been a part of him. Maybe not the best part, and maybe it wasn't rational, but he felt like giving it up was like giving a piece of himself away.

"Justin," Brian tried, only to fail when he caught the look on his lover's face. He didn't know what to say.

But as he found himself standing in their bedroom, the incredible suffering look spread across Justin's face, he couldn't help but wonder if it was all worth it. If the semi-satisfying fuck that he'd had in the backroom at Babylon had been worth the pain that he was causing his lover.

Moving forward, wrapping his arms around Justin and feeling the man's body tense, he knew what the answer was…it wasn't. But he couldn't promise that it wouldn't happen again. He wouldn't do that. But maybe, just maybe the next time he'd be a little more understanding of the way Justin felt.

Making a conscious decision to try to keep it under control…to keep any sign of it away from Justin and only give into the need when necessary, Brian's arms tightened, holding the smaller frame against him, feeling his body shake as the silent tears fell, and he whispered the two words that he'd never said before, not to anyone…"I'm sorry."

And Justin held on tighter.

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