Have Some Balls

"I just can't do this anymore," Justin said in frustration. "I…I can't."

The blond stood with his back towards his lover, his forehead pressed against the large metal door of the loft, his hand firmly gripping the handle. A battle raged within him telling him to open the door and leave, but what he really wanted was for Brian to give him any reason to stay.

"That is so like you. You don't hear what you want so you leave," Brian's tone was firm and unwavering. He was so tired of all of his lover's drama, but he also knew that he couldn't let him leave. If Justin walked out the door, he knew it would be over.

The older man closed his eyes and tried to appear calm, while on the inside he was falling apart. He wanted to say just the right thing to make his boy turn around and rush into his arms, but he couldn't. He wouldn't allow himself to be weak. He had to make Justin come to him. He took a calming breath, opened his eyes and knew just what to do.

"Try standing up for yourself for a change. Have some balls." Brian was sure that would make the blond fight back. He saw Justin's back stiffen instantly and braced himself for the storm that was about to hit.

Justin whipped around to face Brian. His usually bright eyes darkened and narrowed with anger and his lips drew tightly into a scowl. His breath was heavy as anger seethed throughout his body. He moved slowly and deliberately towards his lover, like an animal on the hunt and Brian was his prey.

"What the fuck did you say to me?" Justin's voice was tight and low.

Brain was stunned by the unnerving control his lover seemed to have. He expected the boy to scream and flail all over the room. But what was happening was way more frightening. The older man didn't answer and felt a chill run down his back as Justin moved closer.

"I asked you what the fuck you said to me," the younger man repeated in the same tone as before.

Still, Brian didn't reply and didn't move. His eyes remained fixed on the approaching figure.

Justin felt his rage grow as he moved closer to his lover. He knew Brian would never open himself up and say what he wanted to hear. He was tired of all the shit he had to deal with, his lover's harsh words and now his silence just added to the pile. He was through worrying about what the older man would do or say. He was going to have this out once and for all, kid gloves removed.

Brian remained still as Justin stopped only inches away. He felt the intense heat radiating off the younger man. His anger and frustration were palpable. Intense blue eyes locked with his and the look within them let Brian know that he was in for trouble.

"I don't hear what I want so I leave. Is that what you said?"

No response. The brunet's eyes remained locked with Justin's, but shifted nervously from side to side. He still couldn't bring himself to answer. He felt trapped as his lover took another step closer.

"Stand up for myself, have some balls?"

The intensity of Justin's closeness overwhelmed Brian. He felt his body betray him as it took a step backwards, putting some space between himself and the irate blond.

Justin silently gasped at the outright display of weakness by the older man. He knew he'd gotten to him and it fed his determination. He wasn't going to back down until he got what he wanted. He took another step forward, their bodies almost touching. He could feel the older man's uneasiness wash over him, but he wouldn't let it deter him. He took a deep breath and pushed on.

"You think I don't try to stand up for what I want? How about when every time I try, you put up another brick wall for me to run into?" The blond was furious but his voice remained calm. He had nothing to lose and he knew that he had to lay it all out in the open if he expected to get anything in return.

Still Brian said nothing.

The younger man laughed cynically, "You think you're so tough. Such a big man with such BIG balls of your own." Justin moved his hand to his lover's jean-clad groin and cupped his balls. He nodded his head and said with a smirk, "Yeah, they feel pretty big, it's just too bad you don't use them."

Brian tried not to react to the feel of the blond's hand firmly grasping him. Instantly a jolt of pleasure shot through him from the connection. He felt his cock begin to stiffen and tried to will it down, but it had a mind of its own when his lover was involved.

"I would love to see what would happen if you actually had the guts to admit what you want. Not hide behind your bullshit bravado. For once, tell me what you think or how you feel or what you need." Justin's voice started out strong, but by the end his voice was soft and almost pleading.

Their eyes remained locked and Brian watched the anger in his lover's eyes dissipate and be replaced with resignation and sadness. He knew what Justin wanted. He wanted to give in and tell him everything, he just couldn't.

`No, I won't fucking do this. I won't let him off the hook. I know he loves me and wants me and he has to admit it. I won't wait any longer.' So many thoughts flew through Justin's head and his confidence returned with a vengeance. He squared his shoulders, hardened his eyes and forged ahead.

Brian felt his lover's hand release its grip on his balls and he sighed. But his relief was short lived as the hand moved back to his groin, but this time it covered his cock and began to slowly and softly rub against the hardening member. `Oh, shit,' the man thought. `I'm fucked.'

He knew Brian was trying so hard not to let him see that he was getting to him. The problem was, that the erection growing in his hand was a dead giveaway of his affect on his lover. The increased breathing and small gasps were not missed by the blond either. He looked up at the older man and smiled wickedly. He knew Brian hated to not be in control, but that was just too bad.

"Is something wrong?" the blond said innocently as his hand continued to move up and down against the growing bulge.

No answer.

"Did you have something you wanted to tell me? Something about how I should have more balls and go for what I want? To not sit back and wait for it to come to me?" Justin asked and then gave a gentle squeeze with his hand.

Brian's eyes closed and he gasped at the intense sensation. His mind was battling with his heart. He just wasn't sure yet which would win. He felt one gaining on the other and wasn't sure if he would be able to handle the outcome.

Not getting a verbal response, but definitely getting a physical one, Justin pushed on. He knew his lover did better with actions than words, so he would use his own ammunition against him. The blond raised his other hand and slipped it under the hem of Brian's shirt, brushing it teasingly across his firm stomach. He felt the older man's muscles ripple in response and smiled.

"Do you like the feel of my hands on you? Do you like the sound of my voice when I speak to you like this?" Justin's voice was soft and soothing. He decided to turn things around on his lover and he started again, but this time his voice was low and seductive. "Or do you like the sound of my voice when I tell you how hot you are and how much I want to rip open your jeans, take out your hot, hard cock and suck it until you come?"

"Oh, God," Brian moaned as the words seeped into his lust filled mind and the hand on his cock gave a firm squeeze.

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? But, you know what I'd like? I'd like you to tell me how much you want me…how much you need me…and how much you love me."

Brian's eyes snapped open and he tried to pull away, but Justin tightened his grip on his cock and wrapped his fingers around the older man's slim waist firmly. Their eyes locked together again and the brunet saw the strength of his lover glaring in the bright blue eyes. He knew he wouldn't give in this time. Brian felt a knot tighten in his stomach with the realization that if he didn't give the blond what he asked for, it would be over. He had no doubts about it. Before he could answer, Justin began again.

He undid the button and zipper on Brian's jeans then reached inside and firmly wrapped his warm hand around the leaking erection.

"Aaaarrrrgggghhhh," the older man moaned. He didn't know what game Justin was playing but he knew he was slowly losing it.

The younger man's voice softened. "Do you want me, Brian?"

The feel of the hand sliding up and down his cock teasingly was pure ecstasy. He knew he wanted Justin. He always wanted his lover. Sometimes when he wasn't with him, the longing he felt burned inside so badly he thought it would consume him. His feelings overpowered him as he answered softly.

"Yes, I want you."

A small smile graced the blond's lips, but not for long. His determination was strong and he knew he had to go further. He slipped his hand from around Brian's waist and pulled his lover's jeans down around his hips, freeing the older man's cock from its confinement. He heard his lover sigh with relief. He kept his hand moving in a torturously slow motion on Brian's erection while his other hand moved lower and grasped his full balls firmly.

"Yeah," Brian moaned and his head flew back from the intense pleasure.

"Do you need me, Brian?" Justin asked his lover and tugged down on his sac as his other hand tightened and pulled upwards on his shaft.

Brian's senses were reeling. He wanted to scream but managed to contain himself and just a low growl escaped his lips. He knew Justin wanted an answer, but he couldn't get the words to come out.

"Oh, fuck…ohhhhhh," the older man moaned as his lover repeated the move again.

"Do you need me, Brian?" Justin repeated more forcefully.

"Yes…yes, I…I need you," he whispered as he felt his dissolve slipping away. He needed Justin so much. He knew he wouldn't survive without him. He was sure of it. His body instantly stiffened, knowing what question would be next. He'd pushed Justin to do this. He knew the boy wouldn't give up. He was strong and stubborn and always got what he wanted and right now he wanted the words, the words that would confirm and solidify his place in Brian's life. The older man knew his lover deserved them, that was never in question, he just didn't know how he could say them without losing himself.

The blond was a little surprised by his lover's admission. Even though he knew Brian needed him, it was different to actually hear it. Now came the hard part. He was sure that Brian knew what he was going to ask him next and he knew the man would not give up easily. He moved in for the kill.

Justin's tightened his grip on Brian's cock and he jerked him off with greater speed. Precum bubbled from the slit and leaked down the shaft, easing the way. The blond ran his thumb across the head and pushed in slightly as it passed over the piss hole.

Brian gasped and moaned softly as Justin's thumb dipped into his slit. It felt so amazing and he knew he was so close to exploding in his lover's hand.

"Do…," Justin closed his eyes and gathered all his strength as he tried to continue, "do you love me, Brian?"

The older man didn't answer. His heart was trying to overcome his stubborn head and make him cry out, but he couldn't, not yet.

Justin's determination dwindled and his heart fell slightly when his lover didn't respond, but he knew it wasn't going to be that easy. He took a deep breath and tried again.

"Do you love me, Brian?" he asked, his voice a little weaker than the last time.

The brunet's body was on fire. His cock ached and longed to come. Every nerve in his body was electrified from the intense pleasure that coursed through him. His heart swelled for his boy and longed to break free. He felt Justin's thumb pass over the head of his cock again and he just about lost it.

"I…I…, ohhhhh," flew from the older man's mouth.

Justin had to push it to the limit, because if he didn't get him to say it now, he would never say it. He was so close and he couldn't give up. He kept his eyes fixed on his lover's face. Brian's head was thrown back, his eyes were closed, his mouth hung open and he panted openly. He was mesmerizing and fascinating to watch. With all his beauty on the outside, he was so scared and damaged on the inside. He held back from letting himself be free to feel and Justin wouldn't let him do it anymore.

"Brian, please tell me. Do you love me?" he pleaded.

The older man placed his hand firmly on his lover's shoulder to steady himself. He couldn't hold back any longer. His heart swelled and overwhelmed his head and finally he was free.

"Oh God, Justin…I…I love you!" Brian yelled as his cock exploded in Justin's hand. His cum shot out in thick streams landing across his shirt and running down over the blond's fingers.

Overwhelmed by his lover's admission and the intensity of the man's orgasm, Justin's mind was spinning as he tried to gain control over his rapidly beating heart. The reality set in and a huge smile spread across his face, his eyes shone with love as the unshed tears threatened to spill over.

Brian's breath began to slow and return to normal. He opened his eyes and saw his lover's beautiful face beaming at him. For a moment he did nothing and watched as the smile on Justin's face wavered, thinking that he is going to pretend that he didn't say the words. So quickly, before the boy lost all his glory, Brian wrapped his long fingers around the back of Justin's neck and pulled him in for an intense kiss.

In desperate need of air, Justin pulled back and looked at his lover's face again. He needed to know that the words were genuine and not said in a moment of pleasure to be wiped away like the cum on his lover's shirt. His eyes pleaded with Brian to say them again.

"I love you, Justin," Brian said firmly, leaving no room for doubt.

A single tear spilled from Justin's eyes as the words finally reached his heart. They seeped inside it and filled a space that had been waiting for so long. He smiled again and grabbed his lover's hand. "You told me, now show me," the blond said softly as he guided his lover to the bedroom.

Justin's need for Brian was so strong. As soon as they reached the platform of the bedroom, he peeled his clothes off quickly and climbed onto the bed. Lying on his back he watched Brian undress and his desire grew even stronger. His fully erect cock was red and pulsing, in desperate need of his lover's attention. His breathing quickened and chest heaved, so undone by the older man's admission and by the sight of his perfect naked body.

Brian watched his lover, sprawled out for him, wanton and ready to be taken. He smiled at the breathtaking site and knew that he'd done the right thing. He climbed onto the bed and spread out on top of his lover. He knew Justin loved the feel of being completely covered by him. Finally Brian felt free of the weight that had been burdening him for so long. He had nothing to fear anymore. His heart was so full for the beautiful blond beneath him that he could hardly breath.

The feel of his lover's body covering him sent a shiver of delight through him. Justin looked up into Brian's eyes and was mesmerized by the change in them. They were soft and open, no more walls in place. He smiled up at the older man so full of joy.

"I love you, Justin," Brian whispered again. Eyes locked together, he raised his hand and ran his thumb across the blond's full lips.

"Oh, God," Justin moaned, the words and touch adding to the fire burning within him. His head tipped back, his eyes closed and his back arched off the bed.

Wanting to heighten his lover's pleasure even more, Brian pushed his thumb into the blond's open mouth as he moaned and ran it over his tongue. His own cock was hard again and he started grinding his hips softly against Justin's. Their erections rubbed together and again, a loud moan leapt from the younger man's throat. Quickening the pace, Brian ground more forcefully against his lover as the boy sucked on the digit still in his mouth.

Justin couldn't control himself any longer. His hips started to thrust, increasing the pressure against the older man's cock. He sucked wildly at the thumb in his mouth and ran his tongue around it. His mind was reeling and his senses were on overload.

Watching his lover's reactions, Brian knew that Justin needed more. He removed his thumb from the boy's mouth and reached for the lube and a condom. He ripped the foil packet open with his teeth and raised his body to allow himself room to roll the condom on.

Justin moaned at the loss of contact, but couldn't still the motion of his frantic hips. They continued to thrust into the air, his cock desperate for release. His mind was so lost in a fog of lust and desire that he didn't hear the rip of the condom packet or the click of the cap of the lube. He was lost in his own world until he felt the pressure at his hole.

"Oh, God, yes…Brian…yes," Justin moaned loudly as he felt the cool slickness and the intense pressure as Brian's finger slid into his tight opening. His hips started bucking again, trying to fuck his lover's finger.

Quickly, Brian added a second finger, then after a few thrusts a third. He held his hand still, allowing his baby to fuck his hand with wild abandon. The look on the blond's face was one of pure pleasure and the sight of his body rocking back and forth trying to please itself was too much for Brian to handle.

"I need to fuck you, Baby," the older man panted, so excited just from watching his lover.

"Yes…please Bri…fuck me…FUCK ME NOW!" the younger man screamed.

Brian pulled his fingers from his boy's ass and grabbed the base of his erection to move it into position. He looked down at the amazing sight of his baby's glistening, gaping hole just waiting to be filled.

"Fuck, Justin…you are so beautiful," Brian panted at the intoxicating sight. He couldn't hold out any longer and positioned the head of his cock against the puckered opening and pushed hard, sliding all the way into the tight channel.

"AAARRRGGGHHH…YES!" Justin screamed and the sound echoed through the large open loft.

"Ohhhhhh, fuck," Brian growled as his breath caught from the mind blowing intensity.

Feeling so out of control by his all encompassing desire, Brian pulled out and then quickly thrust all the way back in. Over and over he repeated the motion, not able to slow his body down. The intensity and pleasure of being one was heightened by the bond the two men now shared. Nothing would be hidden anymore.

"Oh God, Baby…you feel so good," the older man growled against his lover's neck as he kissed and licked with abandon. So consumed by his love for the younger man his mind reeled with the words he longed to say.

"Yeah…so good…so….ahhhhh," the blond whimpered, so close to exploding.

Brian thrust shallow and hard into his lover's ass. He angled his hips to hit Justin's prostate with every jab. He felt the boy beneath him start to shake from the overwhelming pleasure and the desperate need for release. He knew what would push his lover over the edge and went for it. The intensity of his fucking continued as the words he needs to say flowed freely from his mouth.

"I want you."

"Ohhhhhhhhh."

"I need you."

"Yesssssssss."

"I love you, Justin."

"OH GOD…BRRRIIIIAAANNNNN!" Justin screamed as he flew over the edge and his mind-blowing orgasm ripped through his body. Cum shot hard and fast up his dick as stream after stream erupted between their sweat slicked bodies.

"Baby…I…oh, fuck…JUUSSTTIINN!" Brian shouted.

The intensity of Justin's tightening hole surrounding Brian's cock sent the older man head first into his own shuddering orgasm. His balls constricted and the cum exploded from them and shot from his slit with such intensity that his body shook with each spasm. He collapsed onto the smaller man beneath him. The power of his orgasm and his wide-open emotions left him weak and exhausted. He didn't want to crush Justin and tried to pull up, but the younger man placed his hands firmly on Brian's ass and held him in place.

"Stay," was all the blond said, and Brian let his body go limp and fall back down against him.

Brian felt so loved and secure. He realized that in giving up the words he didn't lose himself, he gained access to a part of himself that had been totally closed off. He gained access to his heart.

He snuggled closer to his lover and sighed. Finally he was complete.

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