Escape

Part 3

********************

“Justin, are you alright?”

“No.”

Laughing softly, Jody pulled back the covers, revealing a crumpled blond head underneath. “What’s wrong?” he asked, the genuine concern evident in his voice.

“Everything.”

“While I’m really enjoying this witty banter of yours,” Jody said sarcastically, running his fingers soothingly through the silky blond hair to take the sting out of his words. He smiled and continued, “I’ve got a better idea. How about YOU tell me what’s wrong and I don’t have to suffer any longer.”

Pulling the covers back over his head, Justin mumbled something then slumped back down.

“What?” the other man laughed. He could have sworn he’d heard his friend say something, but he knew that there was no way…

“Brian…okay, I said, Brian,” Justin shouted, flinging back the covers and flipping over onto his back.

“Urggh,” Jody groaned in frustration as he threw himself down beside his friend.

“I know, I know. It’s just that he was here, last night.”

“WHAT?” Jody shouted, pulling himself up so that he could see Justin’s face. “What the fuck was he doing here…wait…don’t answer that…obviously I KNOW what he was doing here. But…and I hope I don’t hear the answer I’m dreading, but was he here, at the club or actually HERE, as in with YOU?”

“Here, with me,” the blond answered quietly.

“Oh, shit!” Jody groaned.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I thought.”

 

********************

“I’m glad that we could get that settled, Mr. Hampson. Now, I’m sure that we can work out the rest of the details at our meeting on Wednesday. Yes…thank you…goodbye.”

Brian hung up the phone and slumped back in his chair. He was glad that with a few well chosen words he’d managed to stave off any problems with his new client. The last thing he needed right now was something else to worry about.

He already had more than he could handle.

Justin.

He couldn’t seem to get the man out of his mind. Not for a second. No matter what he tried the picture of the blond fucking the shit out of him kept playing across his mind. It was like a song that you just can’t seem to get out of your head, no matter how many times you try to switch the station. Well, that’s how he felt now. And even though the idea of being with the beautiful, young man after all their time apart should be something that made Brian smile, it had the exact opposite affect.

Because as far as he was concerned, Brian hadn’t been with Justin the night before. He’d been with Blaze. And that was something that he didn’t want to repeat.

It wasn’t just the fact that their positions had been switched on him so fiercely. No, he’d bottomed for Justin before, though not another soul knew it. It was the way that the blond looked at him. The younger man’s mask so clearly in place, hiding his feelings, making him cold and distant, just as Brian had been not too long ago.

But Brian knew that he had to try to get to Justin. To make him see that he was still there. Blaze couldn’t win. Brian was determined NOT to let that happen.

 

********************

“Hey, Justin, how’s it going?”

“Great, Sam, just great. Anything new that you think I’d be interested in?”

“Yep, we just got in a shipment of Armani casual wear and some Prada. I tell you, there were so many pieces that screamed your name that I finally had to box them back up,” the salesman said with a laugh.

“Right, of course they did,” Justin returned with a bright smile. ‘I knew that shopping would do the trick today.’ He scowled at his own choice of words, immediately brought back to the night before and the man that he was trying his hardest to forget…but wasn’t having much luck at it.

“Come on to the back and I’ll show you what I’ve got,” Sam said, motioning with his head toward the change rooms.

“In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve already seen what you’ve got, Sam, so the idea doesn’t look too promising for me.”

“Smart ass,” Sam chided, shaking his head.

“Perfect ass is more like it, but smart will do,” Justin teased, happy for the easy exchange.

“Come on, let’s see what I can talk you into buying.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright,” Justin said with a smile, following closely behind.

Neither Justin nor Sam noticed the tall, handsome man lurking in the shadows just inside the store’s main doors.

Brian decided to take the day off in hopes of catching Justin in his daily routine, trying to see if maybe there was more of the blond that he once knew just waiting to get back out.

He smiled to himself proudly, amazed at what a hefty tip could buy you. The information that the more than willing doorman of The Quoin had provided into the blond’s daily outings had been more than enough to get Brian started.

He arrived at the exclusive club early and waited outside, hoping that Justin would make his appearance, and just as the doorman had promised the young man headed out promptly on schedule. He followed behind, close enough to not get lost but not close enough to be seen. A few times Justin had turned around, maybe sensing that something was amuck, but so far Brian hadn’t been discovered.

He’d followed him to the cleaners, where Justin dropped off several items. As Brian watched him smile genuinely at the man behind the counter he felt his jealousy rise as the handsome clerk spent a little too much time with Justin and seemed a little too friendly. But he quickly got a handle on it, reminding himself that Justin wasn’t his anymore…at least not yet.

The next stop was Starbucks. Brian laughed softly as he remembered all the times that Justin had ragged on him about drinking too much coffee and the undesired effects that it could have. Apparently, the man had decided to ignore his own complaints, as he spied Justin walking out of the coffee shop with a double large cup of steaming brew.

The rest of Brian’s morning was spent looming about inside the large men’s wear store, trying to keep out of sight but not able to keep from catching a glimpse of Justin as he appeared and disappeared into the change room. Each time the man came out in another stunning ensemble, worthy of Brian’s praise and approval.

It seemed that as the morning progressed, Brian was at a loss for how much the young blond had emulated him. His dress, his attitude, his need for sexual control, his reputation…all the way right down to his choice of beverage.

But Brian also saw the characteristics that were uniquely Justin. The easiness of his stance, the friendly way he interacted with other people and most of all, that beautiful smile the he seemed to give so freely to those that he met. Yes, there was definitely more of HIS Justin there and he knew that it was up to him to set him free.

“Thanks, Sam, I’ll see you soon.”

“Don’t be a stranger, Justin. You know how much I look forward to your visits.”

”Right, you just look forward to those hefty commission checks you get from my visits,” the blond said with a broad smile.

“Uh, yeah, okay, you got me there. But, hey, getting to watch you try on all those hot clothes, not to mention peeking inside the dressing room while you’re changing every so often aren’t bad perks either,” the salesman said with a laugh.

“You’re bad, Sam…so bad,” Justin chuckled as he walked out of the front doors.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” the salesman called after him, earning himself one last smile as Justin moved out of view.

Well, at least Sam’s view, but not Brian’s. He was right behind.

“Hey, Sunshine.”

Justin abruptly turned at the sound of the nickname and the all too familiar voice from which it came. “Brian, what the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, in a not too pleased tone.

“Just out and about…you know…seeing the sights…taking in all the great shops that New York has to offer. That’s all,” the older man replied innocently.

“Right, and it’s just a coincidence that you happen to be outside of the store that I was just in.”

Justin’s brow raised in question, immediately reminding Brian of another thing that the blond had apparently stolen from him.

“I guess so. Well, now that we’ve gotten the formalities out of the way, how about lunch? My treat.”

“I don’t think so,” Justin said over his shoulder as he began to walk away.

“Hey, after all we’ve been through, I think that lunch is the least you owe me.”

Justin spun around, fury instantly blazing in his bright blue eyes as they locked onto Brian’s. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and brimming over with anger. “What I owe YOU? I’ll tell you what the fuck I owe YOU,” the younger man growled, moving dangerously closer to a startled Brian.

“I owe you payback for all the shit that you dealt me. I owe you crude and belittling remarks. I owe you heartache and loneliness. I owe you pain and solitude and fear. I owe you nothingness and worthlessness and desperation. But most of all, what I OWE you, you fucking piece of shit, is gratitude. For making me what I am today.”

Justin couldn’t believe that after all he’d been through…running away…his horrible start in New York…desperately trying anything to forget about the man that had branded his heart…the tricks…the pain…the memories…after all of that he couldn’t believe that he was standing in the street, finally having it out with Brian. Finally letting the man know just what the fuck he’d done to him. What he’d forced him to become.

Afraid to say any more, knowing that at any moment he might burst into tears, Justin turned and whistled, his hand flying into the air, summoning the cab that was conveniently coming near. Not looking back, not wanting to see the expression on Brian’s face, Justin opened the door and hopped into the cab, shutting the door behind him. And as the cab pulled away, he couldn’t help but glance back and was floored to see the utter look of despair so clearly written over Brian’s face, and he wondered, was it possible that maybe…just maybe…he’d been wrong all along…and Brian wasn’t the enemy.

 

********************

“Hey, Bri, how’s it going up in New York?”

“Great, Mikey, just great,” Brian droned out, wondering if he sounded even half as bad as he felt.

“That’s super,” Michael said, completely oblivious of the fact that his friend was in pain.

Closing his eyes, Brian resignedly shook his head. Would his friend EVER get him?

“So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted some company, you know, for the weekend?”

“Uh, sorry, Mikey, but it’s not a good time right now. Work is crazy and I wouldn’t be around to baby sit you. Who knows what kind of trouble you could get into,” Brian said sarcastically.

“Oh, come on, Bri. I haven’t seen you in like two whole weeks and I’ve really missed you.”

“Quit the whining, Michael, it’s not becoming, especially since you’re not a twelve year old girl.”

“But, Briiiiiiannnnn.”

For a split second Brian wondered if it was physically possible to reach through the telephone and strangle his supposedly best friend. “Michael, not now. Maybe soon, when things calm down.”

“But…”

“Look, I’ve gotta go. I’ll call you soon.” And with that, Brian quickly hung up before Michael had a chance to irritate him further.

The truth was that things at work were busy, but nothing out of the ordinary. He really could spare the time to have his friend visit, but right now, that was the last thing that he wanted. What he wanted was Justin, and having Michael even in the vicinity of the young blond was something that Brian was NOT prepared to do.

Especially if he intended to continue with his plan of wearing Justin down.

He still couldn’t believe the way Justin had attacked him in the street the previous day. It was frightening and exhilarating, both at the same time. For he realized, that if Justin still held that much anger, that much resentment towards him, then at least he was still feeling, that Blaze hadn’t entirely taken over. And Brian knew that for him to rescue Justin from his bounds of the life that he was held captive by, he was going to have to use those feelings, those demons that were still locked inside of the fragile man to help him make his escape.

 

********************

“Justin, someone’s here to see you.”

“Who the fuck is it? It’s my day off and I’m not interested in any unwanted customers,” the blond drowsily groaned into the phone. The persistent ringing woke him from a deep sleep in which he was dreaming of a time and place, long ago and far away where things were still simple and good.

“What’s your name again…Oh, Brian, he says to tell you it’s Brian,” the doorman said, giving Brian a conspiratorial smile and a wink as he spoke into the telephone-intercom system.

Growling, Justin relented, not wanting to air his dirty laundry for all the other boys to hear. “Fine, let him in and tell him to come up to my apartment.” He was too tired to argue and for some reason, the thought of seeing the other man again was just something that he couldn’t pass up…no matter how much he didn’t want to admit it.

“Will do,” the employee said before hanging up, then ushering Brian inside, giving him directions to Justin’s place on the third floor.

A few moments later there was a short rap on the door and Justin quickly opened it, glaring at the man on the other side. “What the hell do you want, Brian? I thought I made it perfectly clear to you the other day that I wasn’t interested in your bullshit.”

“May I come in?” Brian asked with a smile, ignoring the irate blond staring daggers at him.

Huffing, Justin moved aside and let Brian into his apartment then closed and locked the door behind him. Wordlessly he moved into the small kitchen, starting the coffee maker and popping a few slices of toast into the toaster. He was well aware of the set of hazel eyes following his every move. “Coffee?” he asked casually.

“Please.” Brian sat down at the small table, leaning back in his chair, keeping his focus on the slightly disheveled man before him. Obviously his visit had woken Justin from his sleep, and he wondered what the hell the man was doing sleeping in the middle of the day. But he couldn’t help but notice that even in his too large sweatpants and slightly rumpled wife beater, the man was breathtaking…just as he’d always been.

So, what brings you out on such a lovely day?” Justin asked sarcastically, placing a steaming cup of coffee down in front of Brian.

Brian wasn’t sure how to start. He opened his mouth then closed it again without saying a word. There were so many things that he wanted to say, but as Justin and pretty much everyone knew, talking wasn’t Brian’s strong point.

“Well?” Justin prompted, becoming increasingly uneasy with the other man’s presence.

“This is a nice apartment you’ve got here,” Brian said lamely.

Laughing, Justin replied, “Yeah, and I’m sure that’s exactly what you came here to see. My apartment. Well, since you’ve seen it and me, how about we call it a day?” Justin moved out of the kitchen toward the front door and was just about to unlock it when he felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around him from behind. Instantly his breath caught in his chest and he felt like he might pass out from the wave of dizziness that came over him.

“Justin,” Brian breathed softly against the younger man’s neck, his warm breath washing over the tingling skin.

Justin froze. He couldn’t move, no matter how desperately he wanted to. Inside he was screaming, ‘Move you fucker…get the hell away from him…NOW!’ But on the outside, all he could do was stand there and ever so slightly lean back into the comforting embrace.

“Justin,” Brian repeated, letting his lips brush against the sweet and soft paleness of Justin’s shoulder.

The blond felt himself melting…drowning in a sea of his own emotions. He wanted to run, to bolt, to push Brian so far away that he’d never be able to reach him again. But at the same time he just wanted to stay locked forever in his arms. He felt safe and wanted and…and home. But, no…no, he wasn’t safe…he wasn’t wanted…he knew that. Brian had proven to him time and time again that he wasn’t wanted and now…”N-no,” he stammered, breaking free of the embrace and turning around to face the other man.

“Jus…”

“No, I told you, Justin doesn’t exist anymore. He’s gone, dead, forever.” Justin tried to sound strong and bold and fierce, but he knew that he sounded anything but. He sounded small and weak and broken…exactly how he felt.

“He’s not gone. You’re here. With me. Where I need you to be.”

Justin’s eyes widened in shock. Brian sounded…he sounded almost genuine and sweet. But the blond knew that it was a trick. It had to be. The Brian he knew wasn’t any of those things. Standing taller, trying desperately to hold onto any semblance of control that he could muster, Justin replied, “No, you don’t need me. You never needed me. I was just a convenient place to stick your dick. That’s all. And when you got tired of me, when I forgot to do one fucking thing you got rid of me. Just like that,” the blond snapped his fingers for effect. “I was nothing more to you than any of the other thousands of tricks that you picked up…except for the fact that I was too fuckin’ stupid to realize it until…until…”

“You were NEVER just a trick. Never, Justin.”

Laughing at the mockery before him, Justin smiled and said, “You’re right, I wasn’t, I was just a brainless little faggot, trying desperately to fit in, to be part of something, but you didn’t care. I slip up one time and that’s it, I’m history. Well, I just want to thank you, Brian. Because without your kind and generous parting gift I wouldn’t even have made it this far.” Justin laughed again, humorlessly, and continued softly, “If only you could have given me the benefit a little longer, well, who knows where I could have ended up. Certainly not here.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Why, what’s with the innocent act, Mr. Kinney? I’m sure that’s one that’s new in your repertoire.”

“Justin, I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

“Well, let’s just say that while I did appreciate the lift, the rather efficient effort with which you cancelled your credit card sure did put a little dent in my otherwise perfect plan. Well, and the absence of YOU as well. Now that certainly did screw things up even more.”

Shaking his head, watching as the blond moved toward the sofa and plunked down, Brian tried to piece together what the man was referring to but didn’t have a fucking idea of what he was saying.

Seeing the look of confusion on the older man’s face, Justin said, “Oh, come on, Brian. You can admit it. I know it was poor manners to swipe your credit card in the first place. What would the country club set think about me know?” Justin asked with a laugh then said, “But when you’re desperate and the only person who you think you can count on, well, when you find out that you were fucking WRONG, you do what you need to. To survive.” Justin was shaking and he couldn’t seem to stop.

“You took my credit card?

“Give the man a cigar,” Justin teased. “And although it was quite generous of you to NOT make me pay back the flight and the few charges that I made those first nights while I waited for you to come find me, I must say that your speedy cancellation was rather hard to deal with.” Justin felt himself breaking. He’d said more…way more than he’d intended, but he couldn’t seem to stop. And by the look on Brian’s face, it seemed that the older man had heard way more than he’d bargained for.

Moving forward, Brian kneeled at Justin’s feet, the look on his face a dead giveaway of his turmoil within. “Justin, I swear, I didn’t know you took it.” Seeming to search his memory Brian’s eyes flitted downwards then up again as he said, “I do remember mentioning something to Cynthia about one of my cards…that I thought I’d misplaced it…and she cancelled it and they sent me a new one. That’s it. I didn’t know you had it. And when the bill came in Cynthia must have just paid it, she always does. I didn’t know you’d used it. I wouldn’t have cancelled it and left you out there without any money.”

“But you did. And I waited for you, but you never came.”

Brian looked into the bright blue eyes now laden with tears and without a doubt knew that HIS Justin was still there. There wasn’t any fury…no anger…no Blaze. Just sadness and doubt. He took the trembling man in his arms and sighed softly when he didn’t resist. “Justin,” he began, gently rubbing his face against the silkiness of the man’s golden locks. “I didn’t know where you were. I thought…” Brian stumbled, unsure of how much he wanted to reveal. But instantly he knew that if he intended to bring Justin back to him, and he did, that he’d have to go all the way. “I thought that you didn’t want me anymore. That you’d had enough of my bullshit and were gone for good.”

Pulling back, Justin needed to see Brian’s face.

“I needed you, but…” Brian whispered.

“You kicked me out. You didn’t even give me a chance. Not one fucking chance, Brian.” The tears that had pooled in the corners of the younger man’s eyes now spilled freely down his flushed cheeks.

“I know. I just, I didn’t know how to react to what you did. And by the time I’d realized what I’d done, no one knew where you were. And then a while later I heard Deb and Emmett talking and they mentioned that you were in New York. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and I realized that you were really gone. After always claiming that you were on to me, I had to accept the fact that one time too many I’d pushed you away and you weren’t coming back.” Brian didn’t even try to hide the sadness. He felt his own tears slip from his eyes and run down his face and didn’t even bother to wipe them away. He felt exposed and raw.

Shaking his head, Justin couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “What a fucking sorry pair we are,” he said, wiping away his tears and then Brian’s.

“Yeah, well…” Brian paused. Taking a deep breath and looking straight into the other man’s blue eyes, he opened himself up, removed all traces of his walls and masks and said, “I’m sorry, Justin. So fuckin’ sorry.”

Understanding how hard the words were for Brian and seeing how deeply he felt them Justin smiled and tentatively leaned forward, brushing a soft kiss against the other man’s lips.

Sighing contentedly, Brian closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Justin’s. Silently, he gave thanks to whatever higher power that had pulled some strings and called in some favors, allowing him the honor of being in Justin’s presence once more. Hopefully giving him a second chance.

“I’m tired,” Justin whispered, his warm breath washing over Brian’s face.

“Can I stay?” Brian timidly asked, afraid to hear the answer.

Pulling back, Justin’s weary blue eyes locked on Brian’s, flitting back and forth from right to left, searching the hazel depths for what he desperately needed to see. Smiling warmly, finally seeing what he’d missed and longed for over the past year, he stood up and held out his hand. “Come and lie down with me. I think we deserve a rest.”

Brian took hold of the offered hand and silently followed. There was no place else he’d rather be.

 

********************

 

“Hey, sleepy,” Brian breathed, his hand brushing back the long bangs from Justin’s forehead.

“Mmmmm, how long was I out?” Justin asked as he stretched leisurely, raising his arms above his head and inadvertently exposing the tempting flesh of his belly.

Swallowing hard, trying to control the growing need that Brian felt coursing within him, he said, “Well, it’s ten o’clock, so I’d say you flaked out for quite a while.”

“Holy shit!” the blond shouted, bolting upright and looking at the clock on his nightstand, then back at Brian. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“What for? You were obviously exhausted, so I let you sleep.”

“But, I…I have to work.”

Feeling his body tense from the knowledge of what Justin’s work implied, Brian smiled awkwardly and said, “I thought it was your day off.”

Becoming a little uncomfortable with the sudden shift in the brunet’s mood, Justin stood and began to strip off his sweatpants and wife beater, tossing them aside as he strode into the bathroom, calling back over his shoulder, “Yeah, it was, but that was the day and this is the night. I don’t have the night off.” Then he started the shower and got in, enjoying the feel of the hot spray as it cascaded down his body. He wasn’t used to be accountable to anyone and was happy for the escape from Brian’s prying questions.

“Well, maybe I’ll have to do something about that then,” the older man said, startling Justin as he quietly stepped into the enclosure and wrapped his arms around his waist.

Turning around, Justin came face to face with the man that he’d longed to be with and couldn’t help but smile. “Brian,” he said sweetly, “I’m sorry, but I have to go to work. It’s just the way things are.”

Nodding, Brian lowered his gaze and replied, “I…I don’t like it.”

Justin was a little taken back by the direct response, and had to remind himself that the Brian before him was NOT the same Brian that had thrown him out of his loft and his life those many months before. This was a different man. One that had also suffered, just as he had, just in a different way. “I understand, but…” He didn’t know what more to say.

Silently…for the right words just didn’t exist…Justin allowed Brian to wash him. The gentleness and sensuality filled the small stall as it seeped and wove its way deep into the two men, leaving their senses reeling on overload. The sexual energy was palpable, but neither one acted upon it, fearing that once they started, they wouldn’t be able to stop. And knowing where Justin was headed and what he was about to do made both of them feel a little uneasy and a lot unsure of what the future held and how they would get it.

 

********************

“So, um, I guess I’ll see you soon?”

“Uh, yeah, soon.”

“A-are you busy tomorrow night?” Brian asked, feeling awkward as he stood just outside of Justin’s apartment door before leaving the man to go to work.

“I have to work,” Justin said, not able to miss the way that Brian’s face instantly fell. “But, I’m off the following day and night.”

“Well, okay, how about dinner then?”

“Are you asking me out on a date, Mr. Kinney?” the blond asked, playfully batting his eyes.

Laughing softly, Brian replied, “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Well, then, I guess I’ll just have to say yes. Why don’t you pick me up here at around six o’clock.”

“Great, six o’clock it is.” Slowly Brian leaned in, placing a sweet kiss against Justin’s full, ripe lips, moaning quietly when he felt the blond’s tongue slip out and glide over his sensitive flesh.

“Until then,” Justin whispered as he moved back and smiled, one of his trademark best. And as he watched the smile being returned before Brian turned and walked away, he couldn’t help but feel that maybe things were looking up. Maybe he was going to finally get what he so desperately longed for.


 

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