BluJu
2
Dedicated: To Gabe - a kind and gentle man
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This time sitting in the dark movie theater,
Brian could sense that there was something just a little bit different about
the young man he was sitting beside. He wasn’t quite sure what it was
and briefly wondered if his own feelings were projecting themselves in his
perception of the blond.
Tonight had been a revelation – Brian
had no idea that Justin would have preformed as well as he had. Emmett had
told him that Justin would surprise him and he certainly had. For a fleeting
moment Brian wondered if Emmett had placed a ‘ringer’ in the audience
to boost the young man’s self-esteem, but then he remembered the times
he’d witnessed Justin’s ‘slave’ in a position of dominance.
He’d never seen him as anything but dominant. Brian glanced over at
the blond and wondered what it was about him that mesmerized the whole
audience.
For that matter, what was it about Justin
Taylor that had him, Brian Kinney, the master trainer for the Quoin, ready
to be his slave? It was a question Brian had been wrestling with for a number
of weeks now. He found himself daydreaming about the boy more often than
not. And how many hours of senseless movies had he sat through and shared
with Justin? If any of the members of the Quoin ever discovered that little
secret, he’d be a laughing stock throughout the world – or would
he be pitied?
The credits began to roll. Brian
couldn’t remember a single moment of the film and he was surprised when
the house lights went on, they never had before, but he’d never been
in the theater this late before.
“Well Sunshine, I guess it’s
time for bed.” Brian bantered.
Justin’s head was turned slightly
away from the handsome man. He didn’t want to take a chance that Brian
would see his whole face. He didn’t want the smiling banter they shared
to turn to piteous words that meant nothing. “It is late Brian. It was
nice of you to join me tonight. I don’t remember you coming here this
late before.”
“I haven’t been here this late
before.” Brian stood up. “Are you
coming?”
“No, I’ll sit here for a few
minutes, I like to talk to Jessica, she cleans up
the theatre.”
“We could go to the diner on the
corner; I’ll buy you a late dinner.” Brian
offered.
The thought of being under the bright
lights of the diner with Brian, being scrutinized almost terrified Justin
and he shook his head, still not looking directly at the puzzled man. “No
Jessica would expect me to stay.” His words were soft with only a hint
of regret.
“Maybe another
time.” Brian moved out
into the aisle. “Later Sunshine” and he turned to walk
away.
When Brian’s footsteps began to fade,
Justin turned to watch him leave while a familiar emptiness filled his body.
The only time he’d felt full of life had been earlier in the Quoin during
his performance. He treasured the memory of that half an hour. Having Brian
sit beside him in the theater had come close, but it wasn’t the
same.
The theater was close to empty and Brian
stood for a moment in the lobby when he noticed a woman in her fifties pulling
a janitor’s cart out of a closet. He walked over to her. “Are you
Jessica?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Justin is still in the theater.”
He stated, though he didn’t know why and felt foolish as the words left
his mouth.
“He usually stays when he watches
a late movie. It’s nice for me to have the company. Working nights I
don’t get to talk to people often.” She continued to load her
cart.
“I wanted him to join me for a late
supper.” Brian tried not sound petulant, though
he was sure that’s the way it came out.
“Oh, you must be Brian. Justin has
told me about you. He has a little crush on you I think.” She gave a
small laugh. “He won’t go out with you, you know. It’s because
of his face. He’ll be afraid that once you see it, you’ll never
come back.”
“There’s nothing wrong with
his face.” Brian sounded positive. “What are you talking
about?”
“His face, the
scar.” It was Jessica’s
turn to look puzzled at Brian.
“You know, I never even thought of
that. I don’t see a scar when I look at him. I see a beautiful and bright
young man full of promise.” Brian shook his
head.
“So you know about his scar?”
“Certainly, I’ve seen the boy
on the street.” Was Brian’s answer. Without
another word he turned and left the theater.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Oh my,” was all Emmett could
say when he walked down the stairs at
“They’re all for
BluJu” volunteered
Timmi and he grinned at Emmett. “It seems
our BluJu has already established quite the little
following.”
“After only one night?” even
Emmett was amazed.
“Well, it was Mr. L who became his
slave.”
“They all just want a piece of virginal
blond boy ass.” Michael said, he was walking
in from the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee. “He’s a virgin about
as much as I am.” He snorted.
“Now, honey you don’t know
that.” Emmett had been the one who had listened to tearful accounts
of Justin’s times on the streets of
“Well he can’t keep this
stuff.” Michael declared. “It wouldn’t be
right.”
“I suppose the next time you receive
a tip for your services or a gift, you’ll see to it that it’s
returned.” Emmett’s voice was mildly
chastising.
“It isn’t the same.”
“But it is Michael dear.
BluJu has been fortunate enough to catch the eye
and hearts of many of our clients. He received no compensation for last night.
It was on the house for dear Mr.L, an opening night
special if you will. BluJu can consider this.”
And he waved his arm to indicate the gifts and flowers. “Pay for his
excellent performance.”
“Yeah, Michael, we all benefited
from BluJu’s show – I know my tips were
pretty good last night.” Tommi and
Timmi both nodded after
Tommi’s words. “I’m sure you
didn’t do too badly either, I saw you leaving with Mr. N.” It was
a policy of the Quoin to never mention surnames of any of the clients, yet
Emmett liked to hold the clients in respect so he had adopted the policy
of initials only when referring to them.
Michael had to admit he’d been pleasantly
surprised at the money he’d received, but he hated to admit it to any
of them so instead he hummppped and walked back
to the kitchen.
“What’s all this stuff?”
Justin had wandered down the stairs. His eyes began to water almost immediately
and soon he was sneezing violently.
“Oh dear, you must be allergic to
all this floral abundance.” Emmett waved to the boys who began to remove
the flowers to the screened in back porch by the
kitchen.
When the room had cleared and Justin had
stopped sneezing, though his eyes remained red along with his nose, Emmett
said. “They were all for you.”
“No shit.” Justin’s eyes
got wide.
“I’ll have the cards brought
to your room later. You can read the sentiments of your admirers.” Emmett
indicated the small pile of wrapped gifts. “Those are yours too; I trust
you won’t have an allergic reaction to what’s in the
boxes.”
“Presents for me?” Justin pulled
the boxes onto his lap and began to unwrap them.
The first box held one rather elaborate gold ring split on one side.
“What’s this?” Justin held the ring up in the air and looked
it over.
“It’s a ring for your nipple
or perhaps that luscious belly button of
yours.”
“I always wanted to get my nipple
pierced.” Justin admitted.
“Well, here’s your chance to
have it done and wear nothing but the best in the piercing.” Emmett
smiled. “What else do you have there?”
“Another ring, only this one is a
bit different.” He held it up to show Emmett. “For my belly
button?” he questioned.
Emmett nodded. “That would work.”
His breath caught when the next box revealed a gold ankle
bracelet.
When they were done with the parcels,
Justin’s hands could barely hold the golden jewelry that he’d received.
“I can’t believe this Auntie Em; I’ve never had stuff like
this before.”
“Well, you do now.” Emmett patted
his hand. “I’ve decided, after seeing the results of last night’s
debut, to only have you perform
twice a week.” He paused
and thought for a moment. “How about on Wednesday’s and Saturdays,
that way we will give you an air of mystery and you will be much in
demand.”
“I don’t want to take away the
clients from the other guys.” Justin’s head went down. “They
might get mad at me, especially after all this.” He held the golden
jewelry and stared into it’s depths as if looking for answers to some
unasked question.
“You let me worry about that
BluJu” Emmett patted his hand. “Now what
do you have planned for this evening while we all
work.”
Justin looked abashed. “I guess
I’ll go to bed early. I was too keyed up to sleep even after going to
the movies, so I spent the night sketching.”
Emmett laughed. “It must have been
an interesting sketch, you should have been
exhausted.”
“It was a sketch of me in my costume.
It was something I’ll never forget. You have no idea how I felt last
night, it was amazing.” Justin’s eyes blazed as he
spoke.
But Emmett did have an idea, he could
see it in the shining sapphire blue eyes and the glow that Justin had about
him. “Maybe you’d let us frame this
picture, we could start a collection of
BluJu’s
personas.”
“No one would want them Auntie Em.”
He laughed ruefully and got up from where he was sitting. “I have an
idea for Saturday night’s costume, I’m going to go and sketch it
out and then I’m going to bed. Say hi to the guys for me.” Justin
gathered up the boxes and wrapping paper and ribbon and walked thoughtfully
up the stairs.
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Never before had there been so much action
at the Miami Quoin, Thursday and Friday nights had been packed as men and
women flocked to see if they could catch a glimpse of
BluJu. Saturday night for the first time in the
history of any of the Quoin’s members had to be turned away at the door
with the promise of a seat at Wednesday’s
performance.
At first Emmett thought of having Justin
perform last or even in the middle of the evening. But it became apparent
that the audience wanted him immediately. Even the ones with favorites among
his boys, refused to choose preferring to wait and see
BluJu on the off chance that they would be the
lucky slave for the night.
The music was at the perfect level for
dancing and the lights were low. The floor was filled with patrons enjoying
themselves. When a spot light hit the top of the stairs and a vision of beauty
stepped down revealing BluJu in drag. He stood
tall and slender in a rippling black velvet dress the clung to his body like
a second skin. The black velvet was covered in sprays of burn outs letting
the white of his flesh below show through in tantalizing morsels. He was
wearing stiletto heeled sandals, with fine leather straps crossing his feet.
A glimpse of gold on his ankle from a bracelet, elbow length black leather
gloves encased his hands. His hair had been severely pulled back and on his
head was a headdress of black feathers that added another foot of height
to his stature and swept across his face that once again was encased in an
emotionless mask, this time the latex was half black and half white, his
lips a scarlet slash of lushness that begged to be kissed. His eyes flashed
fire in their blueness and were filled with laughter at the delight of being
among all of them.
No one had been expecting this. To be
in drag wasn’t unheard of, but it was unusual here in this particular
Quoin. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, with the sultry notes of
the song Black Velvet playing in the background, he flicked his wrist and
it was only then that the black cat o’nine
tails made from satin ribbons was noticed. The perfume he wore filled the
air with the scent of Organza by Ginvenchy. Men
who never before had considered anyone in drag were hard as rocks as he walked
past them.
Mr. L. from his Wednesday evening performance
dared to touch BluJu’s arm in supplication,
hoping he’d be chosen again. But BluJu’s
soft voice was heard. “Sorry, but I only have you once.” He continued
walking until he reached the stage. The music became fore insistent and
BluJu lost himself in it for a few moments, his
body shifting to the sounds from the speakers, when the song ended the room
was silent and he looked down at his willing slaves and picked one from the
middle of the crowd. The man was ecstatic, you could see it in his eyes,
but he obediently dropped to his knees like a good slave.
BluJu said a few words to one of the security guards
who walked over and took the man into the back to be prepared. The music
started again while they were waiting and BluJu
once again lost himself in the music, dancing on the stage mesmerizing his
audience.
Soon the slave returned clad in a black
harness and dog collar, he moved across the stage on his knees, a hush fell
over the room as they watched BluJu expertly take
the man beyond reason between pleasure and pain with his skillful use of
ribbon, silk scarves, feathers and the burning pleasure of hot candle wax.
Like a black panther BluJu played with his prey
until finally, knowing his slave had reached his peak of tolerance, he allowed
him release. This time BluJu threw a flash bomb
on the stage and while everyone was startled he disappeared behind the curtain
and through the hidden door while their attention was on the flash.
Emmett was waiting for him when he reached
his room. “I certainly wasn’t expecting drag Justin.” He said.
“You should have said something.”
“They liked it didn’t they?”
Justin covered the tall mirror before removing his costume. He ignored
Emmett’s presence.
Emmett had walked over to the desk where
Justin’s sketch books lay. He looked through the largest one, startled
to see the degree of talent the boy had. He would want to leave the Quoin
if he knew what he could do with his art. “Not bad.” Emmett said
and he threw the book down as if it wasn’t of any consequence. “But
don’t give up your night job.” He gave a half laugh. Already with
only two performances under his belt, Justin had made the Quoin’s profit
margin for the month. A year or two and they would be the best and receive
international recognition. “I’m sorry sugar, but with your face
--- He let the words trail off. “I really am pleased that you are able
to earn a living here right now. Because away from our protection, well,
sugar, it’s a tough world out there as you know.” He took out two
hundred dollar bills from his wallet. “Here’s your share from your
slave tonight.”
“Wow, two hundred bucks.” Justin
looked at the money. He handed one back to Emmett. “You should take
half Auntie Em; I owe you so much for the past months. You’ve paid for
everything and my chores around here don’t come to all that you’ve
spent on me.”
Emmett hesitated for a moment. Brian had
actually covered all of Justin’s expenses since the day he’d arrived.
But, Teddy, his boyfriend would be proud of him for getting Justin to perform
for only a hundred dollars, when the slave had paid almost two thousand for
the privilege of being publicly humiliated. “If you insist Justin, but
maybe, just so I don’t feel bad, you can leave your chores on the day
after each performance. A little treat from me. I can have one of the others
do them.”
“Thanks Auntie Em, but I don’t
want the boys mad at me. You’re like family, the only family I have.
I’ll do my chores.” By now Justin had removed all of his costume
and makeup. “I’m going to have a shower now Auntie Em. I hope the
rest of the night goes alright.”
“I’m sure it will dear.”
Emmett turned and left the room. Justin went over and locked the door behind
him before taking a quick shower. After his shower he tried to settle down
with his sketch pad, but just couldn’t with the beat of the music from
downstairs drifting up to his room. So once again he ran out the back stairs
and headed for his favorite movie theatre.
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Brian had watched Justin’s performance
in fascination. The boy made an amazing woman. He had them all believing
in their ultimate fantasy of bitch woman from hell, all softly sweet and
beautiful, but a wild beast when challenged. The screams of pleasure pain
from the slave had more than one guy shooting his load in their pants. The
When Emmett had come out of the boy’s
room, Brian was tempted to ask him what Justin was doing for the rest of
the evening, but he resisted. He didn’t want Emmett to know how much
his interest in Justin Taylor had changed from protective guardian, to perhaps
something more. Taking a chance Brian left the building and made his way
to the movie theater. Instead of buying a ticket and going inside, he waited
in front of the theater for Justin to appear. It wasn’t a long wait.
He could see the boy strutting down the street, a far cry from his previous
downtrodden slump. He had a sketchbook in his hands, which was strange Brian
thought as he watched him approach the ticket
booth.
“Justin” Brian called before
the blond could buy a ticket.
Justin turned; startled that someone would
call him. He flushed when he realized it was Brian and he was only a few
feet away. “Umm hi” he said and lowered his head turning the bad
side away automatically.
“Do you want to take me up on that
late supper tonight?” Brian asked as he moved
closer.
Justin stepped back a step, his back was
to the wall of the theater. “I, uh, I – he began.
‘shit, fuck, fuck,’ he thought
“What’s the problem Sunshine?”
Brian asked and he put his hand under Justin’s chin and turned his face
toward him. “I’m sure you’re hungry, boys your age usually
are.”
Justin tried not to flinch under Brian’s
touch, but he didn’t succeed. His face flushed with color and then drained
white, leaving only the slash of red on his white
cheek. He tried to pull away,
but Brian held fast. “Leave, me alone.” He
mumbled.
“Justin, Sunshine, don’t pull
away.” Brian’s voice was soothing. “Let’s get something
out of the way right now.” He turned Justin back so he was facing him.
“Yes, you have a bitch of a scar on your face. Yes, it looks like shit.
No I don’t give a fuck. No I don’t pity you. Pity makes my dick
soft. Yes I think you’re beautiful, scar and all. Yes I want to kiss
you and I’m hoping that you might feel the
same.”
Justin laughed, but his body relaxed.
“You’re full of shit Brian.” And his face broke out in the
smile that had won Brian’s heart the first time he’d seen it in
a darkened movie theatre and earned Justin his
nickname.
Brian pretended he was hurt. “I’m
truly sorry you feel that way. But a man has to be able to explain himself
to a friend. You are a friend aren’t you Justin? We have watched almost
every ‘B’ movie ever produced together. That has to count for
something.” He linked his arm in Justin’s. “How about some
dinner, I’m starved.”
“I think you’re nuts Brian,
but okay, I’m kind of hungry for more than two chocolate bars and some
buttered popcorn.” He giggled. “This is sort of like a date. I’ve
never gone out for supper with anyone
before.”
“It is kind of like a date.”
Brian agreed. “Though if it was a real date I would have picked you
up at your home, not met you in front of the movie
theater.”
Justin’s face fell. “I don’t
really have a home. I mean I don’t live on the streets or anything,
but I really only have a room.”
“At least you’re safe aren’t
you?” Brian asked knowing the answer. “From predators
like me who pick up little boys at the
movies.”
“Asshole, I’m eighteen, not
eight and if I didn’t want to be with you I wouldn’t and if I
hadn’t wanted to sit with you for the past year or so, I wouldn’t
have. If you’re some kind of pervert, you’re a very slow moving
one. You could have made your move months ago.” Justin laughed. “Did
I mention I was eighteen and the only sex I have is with my right
hand.”
“Are you propositioning me?”
Brian asked with a smirk.
“I don’t know. Am I?” Justin
laughed.
“I think maybe you
are.”
“Well, let’s eat first, I’m
starved.”
“Oh, have you been working hard?”
Brian and Justin were by now walking arm and arm down the busy
“Sort of “
Justin said. “I kind of perform and it takes tons of prep work
and then I do it and get this amazing adrenalin high. I don’t stick
around to work it off, but end up here with
you.”
“Will you perform for me?” Brian
asked.
“No, that’s another person.
That person is strong and assertive, very dominant, a take charge kind of
person.” Justin shrugged. “You’re with the other me, the me
that wants someone to take care of him.” He spoke the last words shyly,
not sure if it was something he should have said.
“I think everyone has a little of
that person in them.” Brian said. “I’ve never had anyone to
treat me that way, I’ve always been the dominant one in any kind of
relationship I’ve had, whether it was work or play. I’m not sure
if I could be more submissive.”
“It’s not that Brian, it’s
not about whose dominant and who’s submissive.” Justin tried to
find the words. “I guess everyone wants someone to love them, however
they can. Take me for instance. Look at me. I’m far from handsome with
this face of mine, I don’t have the education I’d like to have,
though I’m working on that. Yet in my job, I’m adored and worshipped
by a few and it makes me feel on top of the world. Yet it really isn’t
me. I’ll probably never find what I’m searching for.” He shrugged
“That’s life I guess, you learn to live with the hand you’re
dealt or you fucking die inside.”
Brian was thoughtful. “Until recently,
that’s always been my philosophy on life. But things change. You need
to keep yourself open for changes.” He opened the door of the restaurant.
“I hope you like Italian ‘cause that’s
what we have on the menu tonight.”
“Oh, you don’t look Italian.”
Justin teased and he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Then he laughed when
his handsome almost date flushed.
“You’ve come a long way from
that shy boy who sat beside me last year in the dark theatre.” Brian
held Justin’s chair for him at the elegantly appointed
table.
“Growing up and life does that Brian.
It either beats you into the ground or you grow some balls.” He laughed.
“I’m only half a ball away from what I was when I first tried to
sit on your lap. Maybe we’ll still know each other by the time I grow
the pair of them.”
“I think you’re farther along
than that Justin.” He paused
to consult the menu. “Shall I order for you, do you
mind?”
“Go right ahead.” Justin laughed
and put down his menu. “I can eat pretty much anything.” He placed
his sketchbook on the chair next to him. “Sorry, I ran out without even
thinking I had that in my hand.”
“Can I look?” Brian
asked.
“It’s just some scribbling –
it relaxes me. My boss says not to quit my night job. I think he was trying
to tell me they aren’t that great. Maybe I’ll get a scholarship
to a University with a good art program. I’d kind of like to work in
the art department for an advertising agency or a magazine. I’m going
to take this year to save up some money and then apply around the country.
There’s this real good school in the city where I used to live. It’s
called the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts, I’d like to go there,
but you have to be really good to get in and the tuition is pretty
heavy.”
“You did take your SATs didn’t
you?” Brian asked. He’d forgotten to ask Emmett about
that.
“Yeah, that was last year. I didn’t
do as well as I would have liked, but my year kind of
sucked.”
“Oh, what did you
do?”
“I only scored 1500, I was hoping
for higher.”
Brian started to laugh “I can certainly
see why, only 1500 you say.”
“I know, it’s
bad eh?” Justin asked.
“To get a really good scholarship, I think you should score
higher.”
“Justin, I think with a score of
1500 you should have no problem getting a scholarship to whatever University
you want to attend.”
“Auntie Em says I don’t need
to go to University. He says it’s a waste of my time.
That with what I do, I can make money right
now.”
“It isn’t about the money
though.” Brian said and the look on Justin’s face said it all.
It wasn’t about the money. Brian picked up the sketch book and began
to leaf through it while they waited for their late dinner. His eyes widened
when he came upon one of himself. “I guess you didn’t always pay
attention to what was on the screen.” He said and he continued to look
at the talent displayed on the pages in his hands. At the rear of the book
was a series of sketches of Justin’s first costume and a few of his
second one. “What are these?” Brian
asked.
“Oh, I was just doodling with some
costume ideas. It’s all part of my job.” Justin took the book and
closed it before putting it back on the chair.
Justin’s hand was fiddling with his
silverware; he was nervous being in such a nice restaurant and nervous being
alone with Brian, no matter what he’d said about it being a date. He
would have felt worse had it actually been a date. He was glad the light
was low in the restaurant and that no one was sitting on his right side,
so his scar wouldn’t be noticed. He was starting to feel like maybe
this wasn’t such a good idea and wondering if he could bolt out the
front door. Brian didn’t know where he lived; he could go to the other
movie theaters.
As if sensing Justin’s thoughts,
Brian moved so he was sitting to Justin’s right. He placed his hand
over Justin’s and said quietly. “Justin, it’s all right. If
you ran out of here, I’d find you, so don’t even think about it.
I want you to enjoy your dinner.”
When Brian’s hand had touched his,
he instantly calmed, though he didn’t know why. He sighed heavily.
“You can’t sit there, everyone will look at you.”
Brian answered him by transferring the
table setting from his previous place across the table to where he was sitting
now. “They’ll think, how romantic, two lovers who want to be
close.”
“We aren’t
lovers.”
“Yet.”
Justin laughed. “I’ve got a
confession to make.”
“Really?”
“I’ve never had a
lover.”
Brian raised his
eyebrows.
“You’d be my first.” Justin
chuckled. “It’s not like I don’t know what to do or anything.
I’ve just never actually done it.” He paused. “If you knew
where I worked, you’d know that there really isn’t much I don’t
know about the how’s and why’s, the thing is, I’ve never known
anyone well enough to have sex with them. I was always too scared to just
do it with some stranger. If I had I might not look like I do now.”
His hand came up and he touched his face.
Brian leaned over and kissed the flawed
cheek, his lips like butterfly kisses. He picked up Justin’s hand and
held it. Neither one spoke, for the moment was too intensely filled with
emotion to speak. The waiter arrived with their dinner, interrupting them
and they broke apart almost with relief and began to
eat.
Neither one was surprised to find the
next hour disappeared quickly. They both talked about general things that
affected them and stayed away from the almost taboo topics of their everyday
lives. Justin found himself laughing and enjoying himself more than he had
in years and Brian took a quiet satisfaction in bringing the laughter to
the deep blue eyes. Dinner was over all too soon. It was time to go. Hesitating
for a moment Brian asked. “Where are you going
now?”
“No place
special.” Justin answered
and laughed at the seriousness in Brian’s tone of
voice.
“I can change that.” Brian’s
voice was now sultry and smooth and this made Justin smile as
well.
“I bet you can.” He replied.
“What did you have in mind?”
“We could go to my place. I have
an apartment here in
“Brian, if I go to your apartment,
it would only be for a drink, nothing more.”
“You are in charge Justin. I would
never expect otherwise.”
Justin beamed at him. “I’d like
to see where you live.”
Brian stood and offered his hand. “It
isn’t much; you’d like my home in
“
“I don’t know much about it
Justin. I attended a different University.”
“Still, it would be cool just to
be in the same city.”
“I’ve never noticed.”
Brian’s voice was dry and he tried not to laugh at the enthusiasm pouring
from the blond.
“The next time you’re there,
drive by, and you can think ‘someday Justin Taylor will be
there.’”
Now Brian laughed, they’d been walking
down the busy street hand in hand. He stopped. “This is my car.”
Brian bent and unlocked the doors of the sleek Corvette. Justin was surprised
at the age of the car, but he got in. The smell of well maintained leather
on the inside combined with the scent of Brian’s cologne was a heady
fragrance for the young man to enjoy. Combined with the evening’s triumph
at the Quoin and his first ‘almost’ date, Justin didn’t think
he’d ever been more content. Until Brian turned to
him and said. “You know Justin, taking you to my home here in
“Brian, I don’t want to sound
ungrateful or anything. But much as I want you, and believe me I do. I want
it to mean something. All I’ve seen of sex since I first became aware
of it - was meaningless. Auntie Em says that’s the way it is for almost
all guys. Sex is a form of relaxation. I don’t see it that way, I mean
not for me. I know I could pleasure you, but I’m not sure if I could
emotionally handle a quick fuck by you or anyone. It’s different for
me.”
Brian looked at Justin and could see that
he really believed what he was saying. “Justin, let me get this clear
- you’re telling me that you could – say give me a hand job –
or a blow job and that would be fine for you. But to do anything else, let
me penetrate you or you penetrate me – that involves an emotion you
aren’t sure you can handle.”
“Something like that Brian, I want
to make love not have sex.”
“We aren’t a couple of dykes
Justin or some hetero couple on a date where each one professes to
love the other. We’re fags and fags fuck.
It’s what we are and who we are, we are ruled by our cocks, everything
else just cuts into our fucking time.”
Justin looked sad. “I’m not
like that Brian.” He sighed. “Maybe this isn’t such a good
idea, getting to know you better. Why don’t you drop me off at the next
corner and I’ll take a bus home. Maybe I don’t have enough
‘queer’ genes or something.” He looked out the window.
‘Or maybe I just want to be loved
and to love someone back.’ Justin thought to
himself.
“I’m not going to drop you off
in
Justin smiled. “Very
generous of you Brian.”
“Staying still for an hour or so
is more than generous Sunshine.” Brian continued to drive. “You
know Justin; the idea of the virginal bride has long been a
myth.”
“Maybe I’ll never be a
‘bride’ Brian. And maybe you’re right about queers. But for
now, until I give up my search, I stick to what I can handle
emotionally.”
“I’ll be waiting when you’re
ready.”
“It wouldn’t hurt for you to
find yourself someone to love Brian; it’s not an unheard of
concept.”
“I’m too selfish and unfeeling
to bring someone into my life Justin.
“That isn’t true and you’d
know it if you stopped and thought about it. I’m here aren’t I.
You brought me into your life.” Justin smiled in satisfaction, knowing
he was right no matter what the older man might
think.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The dawn was breaking over
When Justin confronted Emmett he’d
been livid. Emmett shut his eyes and remembered the
blond’s words. “How could you do that
to me Auntie Em? You know I’m saving for living expense money. I’ve
been accepted into all three of the Universities I applied to and I
received
scholarship offers from
all of them. It’s my life.”
“But Justin, you don’t need
to go to school. You have your high school diploma, that’s all you need.
And your pretty pictures bring you in a few dollars. All your living expenses
are already looked after. You have a nice home here.” Emmett looked
around wildly. He didn’t want Justin to leave. He needed the money he
was bringing in.
“I don’t have a home here. I
have a place to live. I work here and I have a place to live. The boys are
okay, but they’re all jealous of the money I bring in. How long did
you think it was going to take before someone told me?” Justin shook
his head as he ripped off tonight’s costume. “I feel like all of
you were laughing at me, the naïve street kid who hasn’t a fucking
clue.”
“That’s not true.” Emmett
defended himself and the others.
“No, well how long were you going
to keep me believing that my art is just so much shit?” Justin waved
a piece of paper at Emmett. “I was accepted at PIFA, do you have any
idea of the competition I was up against to get one of the few seats offered?
One hell of a lot of competition, they think I do have talent and that I
could make a living at it someday.” Justin grabbed his jacket and started
to head out the door. He was going to go over to Brian’s and talk to
him about this. Brian had given him a key to the apartment last month so
he didn’t have to wait for him in the lobby late at
night.
“Justin wait, we can talk about it.
I can increase your pay.”
“Keep it Auntie Em. If the money
meant so much to you before, you just fucking keep it.” And the door
to his room slammed. Justin shut his eyes for a moment and then plunged down
the stairs.
Justin was lucky and caught the bus just
as it was leaving the corner. He couldn’t believe what he’d found
out. It had been a combination of a recruiter from another Quoin wanting
Justin to move, combined with jealousy on Michael’s part that had brought
up the subject of how much money was made during each of his performances.
And performances they were. He’d never appeared twice in the same costume
and mask and he’d never taken as a slave for the evening anyone he’d
already had. A mystery had developed around him and his tips and gifts were
amazing as one after another tried to woo him over.
The bus let him off half a block away
from Brian’s apartment building. Justin took the stairs rather than
wait for the elevator. He put his key in the lock and opened the door, not
trying to be quiet, but as always unsure of his reception. Brian had his
back to him and was talking on the phone. “I don’t know where he
is Emmett. Of course, if Justin comes here I’ll call you.” There
was silence while Brian listened. “If that’s all you were giving
him then yes you were ripping him off and you deserve what you get. Justin
didn’t owe you a damn thing. I’ve paid all of his expenses and
you know it. Perhaps I should have an accounting of those, but I damn sure
am not getting your buddy Ted Schmidt to do
it.”
More silence. “Fuck you Emmett.”
And he slammed the phone down and turned around. Brian was startled to see
Justin standing there. “How long have you been there Justin?” he
asked.
“Long enough to know you’ve
been lying to me for the past two years.” Justin’s voice was
quiet.
“I’ve never lied to
you.”
“By not telling me things, you were
lying Brian, I’m not
stupid.”
Brian walked over to him and placed his
arms around Justin pulling him close. “I’m sorry
Sunshine, I didn’t mean to hurt
you.”
Justin held his body stiff while he thought
about the events the night had brought to him. He barely heard Brian’s
words as he whispered ‘sweet nothings’ into his ear and led him
to the wide sofa. Justin’s mind was closing off and he was once again
back in protective mode. Making a decision, he began to remove his clothing.
In all the months he’d been going to Brian’s apartment, they had
never had sex of any kind. It had been a relationship of two adult males
learning about one another. Obviously Brian had been full of shit.
Well if that’s the way Brian wanted
it, he could have it. Justin knew that Brian had feelings for him He could
see it in the man’s eyes and in the way he was when they were together.
The next hour was a whirlwind of sexual
energy. Justin had begun by crushing his lips against Brian’s and using
all of his skills that he’d learned at the Quoin, he slowly but surely
took the man’s soul along with his heart. Within seconds both of their
clothing was removed and Brian, thinking back, wasn’t sure when the
tables turned and trainer became slave. He’d prided himself on his abilities
to train even the most reluctant of slave, the greenest, the ones who had
no idea of what they wanted and the ones who were sure they knew everything.
All of them became his willingly and none of them regretted the experience.
Yet here he was with Justin finding himself begging
the blond for release. It wasn’t the way things were supposed to
be. Yet he needed to feel
Justin’s lips, craved the touch of his hand, desired to hear the whispered
words of love, and pleaded to have the boy’s thick cock buried in his
ass.
Brian
lay back on the soft leather of the sofa, now warmed by the heat of two bodies.
His eyes were shut and his breathing steady. Justin rose and dressed quietly
before slipping out the door leaving the older man sleeping. He looked back
only once before the door shut, he could have loved him, he could have been
happy with the tall auburn haired man who made his heart sing. Instead all
he felt was nothing. Nothing at all, the emptiness that had filled his body
for so many years had returned, and this time it wrapped itself around his
frozen heart.
Justin
walked
the many blocks home through the heart of
Seeing Emmett pacing on his balcony, Justin
slipped around to the back of the house where he quickly and quietly made
his way to his room. He made his way to the storage closet at the end of
the hallway and selected the largest piece of luggage there that had wheels.
Back in his room, Justin carefully packed his belongings. He had purchased
a soft chamois bag more than a month ago and he dumped all of his jewelry
into it, not caring if the chains became tangled. The bag was filled almost
to the brim, so lucrative were his gifts in the last six months. The bag
he placed deep inside his favorite boots. He took all of his sketch books
and the art portfolio that held his series of watercolors of
BluJu in all of his costumes, fifty three different
personas in all, a formidable display of both of his talents. The rest of
the bag he filled with his favorite clothing and any personal items that
had left. Unable to resist one last thing he placed it in the bag before
he changed his mind. The heavy claret colored silk shirt that still smelled
of Brian that he’d worn home this morning when he had found his own
shirt had been torn, a reminder to never trust warm hazel eyes and soft words.
Almost two years to the day, Justin Taylor
vanished from the stately