Snow White and the Seven Queers

Authors note: Roughly based on the Faerie Tale Theater Snow White.

Cast list

Snow White: Brian Druggie: Blake

Prince: Justin Cocky: Hunter Queen: Joan Kinney

Huntsman: Ben Sleazy: Ted

The Mirror: Mysterious Marilyn Queenie: Emmett

Vic: Vic Greasy: Ethan

Whiney: Michael

Once upon a time in a far away land, high on a mountain top stood a castle. In this castle lived the king and queen. Queen Joan was said to be very cruel and vain. She often gazed in her magical mirror reveling in her beauty. As was the queen’s duty she gave the king an heir. The queen gave birth to a son. His skin was as pale as the new fallen snow and his lips were as red as ripe strawberries. He was named Brian but many called him Snow White. Some referred to it as an endearment others mocked him with the nickname.

Brian did not possess his mothers cruelty or vanity. Instead he was graced with sweet innocence and a loving nature. As he grew older he was a radiant beauty far surpassing his mother. The queen gazed into her magical mirror.

“Marilyn, Marilyn upon the wall who is the fairest of us all?”

The mirror with the drag queen trapped inside always gave the same answer day after day.

“You are the fairest of us all my queen.”

The queen was contented with the answer for she knew that the mirror was telling the truth. A mirror could not tell a lie for if it did it would shatter in shame. The queen preened in front of the mirror.

“My skin is soft as silk. The years have been kind to me. There are no wrinkles upon my face. My hair shines in the morning sun. My lips so soft are made for kissing.”

Suddenly there was a knock upon her chamber door interrupting her musings of her own beauty.

“Why must I be disturbed? Who is it now?”

“It is me mother, Brian.”

“Oh it’s you.” She said with contempt. “Alright come in if you must.”

Brian entered the chamber eyes alight with excitement.

“I did not mean to disturb you mother but look what the court jester taught me.”

Brian proceeded to juggle three oranges rather badly but delighted in trying.

“What on earth are you doing?”

“Juggling,” Brian said innocently.

“How horrid, how dare you! Get out!”

“Yes mother.” Brian ran out of the chamber.

When the queen was alone, her magical mirror spoke.

“My queen bad news I have for you. Since Snow White has come so near I’ve changed my mind. I have come to find that he with his beauty so rare is the fairest of the fair.”

“What! Snow White,” she said venomously. “That scrawny boy? How dare you speak to me this way,” she screamed. “That’s an outrageous lie!”

The queen stalked her chamber in a fit of rage. It was not possible that anyone could be more beautiful than her. She called for her huntsman. She would make sure that she remained the most beautiful in the land. Her huntsman came to her and bowed low before her.

“My queen you sent for me.”

“Come here.”

“Is there something you request of me?”

“Listen to me carefully,” she said while emptying out her jewelry box. “I order you to take Snow White deep into the forest. Once you are there kill him and cut off his balls. I want you to bring me back his balls in this box.” She handed over the box.

“Are you sure my queen?”

“Yes, I want a token as proof that the deed has been done.”

“I will do as you request my queen.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ben led Brian deep into the forest. Brian never questioned why he was to go with the huntsman. He figured he was to start learning the manly sport of hunting. The king thought he spent far too much time reading and painting. There were rumors going around the castle that the king sired a sissy boy.

The huntsman led Brian to a small clearing in the woods. Ben grabbed him swiftly and drew out his knife. Brian gasped with shock but stood still. He did not beg or plead for his life. If he was meant to die then he surely would. Ben took in the sight of the brave beautiful boy and stopped the downward plunge of the knife at the last second.

“I can not do it. The queen ordered me to kill you and bring back your nuts in this box. I won’t kill someone as innocent as you.” Ben touched Brian’s auburn hair. “You can’t go back to the castle Snow White. Your safer here in these woods than you would be with your mother.” Ben placed a kiss on his cheek. “Run boy and never look back.”

Brian was relieved that his life had been spared. He ran through the forest trying to put as much distance as he could between the castle and himself. Brian ran on and on till night fell and it was hard to see.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The huntsman killed a traveling peasant and cut off his nuts to pass off as Brian’s. When the deed was done he made his way back to the castle and presented the queen with the box.

“My queen, the balls of Snow White.” He handed her the box.

“My how heavy they are.”

She weighed the box in her hand. She opened the box a crack for a quick check. Satisfied that her orders had been carried out she set the box down then fainted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian was so tired and hungry he didn’t know how much further he could travel. Suddenly the forest opened up and he could see a cozy little cottage with a white picked fence. There were bright blooming flowers every color of the rainbow. He knocked on the door but no one answered. Brian was so exhausted from his journey he didn’t think who ever lived there would mind if he rested a while there. Brian let himself in and looked around. The dining table was all set in preparation for a meal. There was a pasta dish cooling on the stove. Brian dished only a little for himself and nibbled on a piece of bread. He could barely keep his eyes open so he wandered into a bedroom and fell across the bed and was fast asleep as his head touched the pillow.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The seven queers came walking down the path to their little cottage. They had spent a long day in the mines. They mined for condoms and bottled the lube that was plentiful in the mountain’s crevice.

“I don’t see why we have to mine for condoms it’s not like we get to use any,” Sleazy griped.

“Speak for your self I get plenty of action,” Cocky stated proudly.

“Um what day is it?” Druggie stumbled along.

When they entered the house there was an annoying high pitched whine.

“Vic someone’s ate some of the pasta.”

Vic laid a calming hand on Whine’s shoulder.

“Its fine there is always enough for everyone.”

“But somebody’s been here.”

Queenie gasped “do you think they’re still here, oh my!”

As one they searched the cottage all except Druggie. He didn’t really give a fuck and was already looking for his next fix. They all gasped when they saw the beautiful teen asleep on the bed.

“Oh I think I’m in love,” Greasy sighed.

“I want a piece of that,” Cocky leered.

“He’s sleeping in my bed where the fuck am I suppose to sleep,” Whiney pouted.

“Shh let the boy rest,” Vic said reasonably.

“Oh he must be a prince! I knew my prince would come for me one day,” Queenie gushed.

“That’s just fucking great, some of the pasta is missing and he’s sleeping in my bed,” Whiney groused.

“Oh grow up.” Queenie rolled his eyes.

Vic placed a blanket over the sleeping form and gestured the other men out. He slapped Cocky’s groping hand away from the sleeping teen and led him out by the scruff of his neck.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When the queen came to the first thing she did was approach her mirror.

“Marilyn, Marilyn upon the wall who is the fairest one of all?”

“You my queen are fair but even your beauty can not compare with that of Snow White who is alive and well, far in the forest where the seven queers dwell.”

“That’s not possible I have his nuts right here in this box.”

“Oh get over it already.” Marilyn rolled her eyes.

The queen screamed for her huntsman.

“Whose nuts are in this box?”

“A traveler my queen.”

“You disgust me; surrender your self to the guards. Although, you’d probably like that wouldn’t you? Get out of my sight. I’ll settle this myself.”

The queen entered her secret chamber plotting and planning Snow Whites demise. The queen was an expert with the black arts and created a potion to disguise herself. The potion turned her into an old hag. It disgusted her to appear as such but she figured it would be worth it in the end.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Brian awoke the next morning surprised to see a bunch of sleeping men in the cottage. He was grateful that they had let him stay the night. Brian wandered into the kitchen. He encountered one of the men.

“Are you a prince?” Queenie asked hopefully.

“Well yes I am.”

Queenie shrieked in delight jumping up and down clapping. “Oh I just knew you were.” Queenie woke up the others with his loud shrieks.

“What’s your name honey?”

“Brian but people sometimes call me Snow White.”

“I’m Queenie.”

All the other guys made their way into the kitchen.

“Let me introduce you. That’s Whiney, Greasy, Sleazy, Vic, Cocky and the one passed out over there is Druggie. Everyone this is Prince Snow White.”

Queenie smiled “You’ve come across the cottage of the seven queers out, proud and damn happy about it.”

Brian’s eyes grew big. Cocky was leering at him suggestively.

“What are you doing here Snow White?” Vic inquired.

“I was lost in the forest.”

“Oh my that’s no place for a beautiful prince like you to be,” Queenie gasped.

“I’m sure we could help you get back home,” Vic said kindly.

“Oh no please, I can’t go back there. My mother the queen is very evil and she told the huntsman to take me into the forest and kill me.”

Queenie gasped and the others muttered their sympathies.

Greasy stepped forward. “That would be a shame to kill someone so beautiful; after all you’re a prince.”

Brian looked down. “Would it be alright if I stayed here?” He asked hopefully. “I’ll help around the house. I’ll do anything if you let me stay here.”

Cocky swaggered over to him grabbing his own crotch. “You can stay if you suck my cock.”

Brian tried to hide his revolution.

“We don’t have enough room as it is,” Whiney complained.

“I wouldn’t take up much room; I could sleep by the fire.”

Vic patted his shoulder. “You can stay and help us with the house work, we rarely have the time. We mine for condoms and lube up in the mountains. It would be a big help to have someone here to clean.”

“But how can we ask a prince to clean up after us?” Queenie was scandalized by the mere idea.

“Really I don’t mind,” Brian said shyly.

Brian was accepted into the clan of queers whole heartedly. They sat down and had breakfast together. The seven queers trooped off to work the mines while Brian stayed behind to do the house work.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On the way to the mine the seven queers ran into Prince Justin who sat drawing under a big oak tree.

“Hey guys how’s it going?”

“Oh ya know same ol’ same ol’,” Queenie smiled.

“Off to mine for condoms?”

“Yeah we might just have a reason to use them now,” Cocky grinned evilly.

“Uh huh,” Justin said rather confused.

“Come on lets get going we don’t have all day to chat,” Whiney said coldly.

As they walked down the path Queenie whispered, “Why didn’t we tell him about Snow White. Prince Justin is always searching for love. They would be so cute together.”

“No way,” Greasy growled. “I love him, he’s mine.”

“Not if I get to him first,” Cocky taunted.

Vic always the voice of reason stepped in. “Both of you will not touch Snow White. For now he’ll stay with us, we could use the help.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian was out chopping logs for the fire. He had his shirt off and his arm muscles bulged slightly. He was covered with a light sheen of sweat that sparkled in the light of that day. Brian noticed a peddler woman approaching.

“Lovely ties for sale. Gucci, Prada, lovely silken ties.”

“They are nice,” Brian smiled shyly.

“Oh yes and they were made for you. They would look so lovely on you dear boy.”

“I don’t have any money.”

“My dear boy one as lovely as your self deserves a gift. Come select what you desire.”

Brian selected a red Prada tie.

“What a lovely color, red suits you. It will look wonderful wound around your neck. Here let me help you.”

The old peddler woman tied the tie around his neck tightening it ever so slowly.

“Uhh no, it’s too tight. Oh I can’t catch my breath.”

Brian gasped falling to the ground, then the world went black around him. The queen laughed wickedly over his still body.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That night when the seven queers came home they came across Snow Whites body on the ground.

“Oh my God,” Queenie gasped his hand fluttered to his chest.

“Oh fuck he’s dead now he’ll never suck my cock,” Cocky sulked.

“I’m not going to burry him, I won’t do it,” Whiney crossed his arms over his chest looking defiant.

“Oh what a way to go, strangled by a Prada tie,” Queenie sighed.

Vic examined the still form. “He’s not dead.” Vic cut the tie from around Brian’s neck. Brian drew in a deep breath and slowly came to.

“What happened?” Brian asked rather groggy.

Greasy leaned in trying to kiss him but Brian jerked his head away.

“Who did this to you honey?” Queenie took Brian into the cottage to get warm by the fire.

“A peddler woman.”

Vic sighed, “It must have been the queen in disguise.”

“Why does she want me dead so badly? What have I done?”

“Well honey I think she’s jealous.”

Greasy touched his hand. “You are very lovely.”

Vic sat down next to Brian. “For your own safety when we’re not here keep the door bolted, don’t go outside.”

Brian looked frightened. “Do you think she’ll try again?”

“It’s possible, don’t talk to strangers, understand?”

“Yes.” Brian said meekly.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Before bed time the seven queers begged Snow White to tell them tales of castle life.

“What’s it like living in a castle?” Queenie asked excitedly.

“It’s big, kinda cold. I had a suite of rooms all to myself.”

“Sounds romantic,” Greasy sighed.

“I don’t even miss the castle anymore. It’s too big, cold and lonely. The moat was kinda nice though. I liked to swim.

“Naked?” Cocky leered.

“I was going to ask the same thing,” Sleazy said.

“Well uh yeah. I had to be careful; if I got caught I would be punished.”

“I know a prince that has a castle.” Queenie covered his mouth as soon as he caught the slip.

“A prince?” Brian perked up a bit.

Cocky and Greasy kicked Queenie.

“Queenie’s always dreaming of princes,” Sleazy said quickly.

“I’d love to meet another prince someday.” Brain sighed wistfully.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The queen called for her morning breakfast as she waited she spoke to her mirror.

“Marylyn, Marylyn upon the wall who is the fairest of them all?”

Mysterious Marylyn took great pleasure with her reply. She loved it when she could piss off the queen.

“Snow White with his beauty so rare is the fairest in the land. He is alive and well deep in the forest where the seven queers dwell.”

“What? How?” She picked up a green apple. “I’ll kill him this time. Ugly, horrid, ungrateful child that he is.”

The queen mixed a special poison and injected it into a green apple. She disguised herself as a differed old hag and set out to kill her only son.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Justin was under his oak tree sketching the man of his dreams he hoped to one day find. He sung quietly to himself. The old hag passed him.

“My what a lovely song.”

“Uh thanks,” Justin said absently.

“You know I find it hard to believe such a handsome man like you could be lonely.” The queen sat next to him trying to seduce him. She had forgotten that she was dressed as a hag.

“Alas it is true.”

“Perhaps you’d like some company?” The queen pushed out her chest provocatively.

“Hey lady I’m gay, not interested.” Justin tried to keep the disgust from his face.

The queen got up in a huff. “It fucking figures all the beautiful men are gay.” She stormed off into the forest.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian sat in the front yard scrubbing the seven queer’s jocks. It was a dirty job but he did it with out complaint. He’d rather do this than suck Cocky’s dick. A red sock got mixed in with his wash. Brian really had no experience with laundry. All the queer’s jocks turned pink. He shrugged to himself maybe they wouldn’t mind pink jocks. Brian could only hope anyway. Brian noticed a peddler woman approaching. He nervously began backing away from her.

“Hello my boy, don’t be afraid. Would you like an apple?”

Brian remained silent.

“I have a lovely green apple just for you. You’re to skinny boy you need to eat more. Oh what’s the matter are you afraid it might be poisoned?”

Brian nodded.

“Oh well then let me put your fears to rest. I’ll take the first bite then you can have the rest.”

The queen took a tiny bite so as not to poison her self.

“Here my little snow drop.”

Brian took the green apple and took a bite. “Mmm it is delicious.”

Brian fell to the ground. The green apple rolled away from him. The queen checked to make sure he was dead and gloated over the fact that now she was the most beautiful.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When the queen got back to the castle she questioned her mirror.

“Marilyn, Marilyn upon the wall who is the fairest of all?”

“You are my queen.”

“It’s about fucking time too!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When the seven queers came home once again they found Brian’s still form on the ground.

“Fuck, not again!” Whiney complained shrilly.

Queenie sobbed quietly not knowing what to do.

“He’s so pale,” Greasy whispered.

“He’s always pale,” Sleazy stated.

“He’s probably just faking it to get attention,” Whiney pouted.

Vic placed a hand on Brian’s cheek. “He’s cold, very cold.”

“He’s been drugged,” Druggie said. “I should know.”

“I can warm him up.” Cocky made a grab for Brian’s pants but Vic slapped his hand away.

“Snow White is dead,” Queenie sobbed.

They carried Brian into the cottage and laid him out on a bed.

“We could never burry him. He’s much too beautiful to be buried,” Greasy said sadly.

“What are we going to do?” Whiney asked.

Vic took charge. “We’ll build a coffin out of glass and we’ll put him on top of the highest hill of the forest. His beauty will be there for all to see.

“And to love,” Greasy sighed.

They built Brian a glass coffin. Queenie put silken sheets and a pillow inside. They lovingly put him inside. The seven queers with heavy hearts carried him into the forest. Queenie, with tears in his eyes carried wild flowers for Snow Whites coffin. They happened to pass Prince Justin on the way.

“Oh my God what happened?” Justin rushed over to the coffin. “Who is he?”

Queenie sobbed tearfully. “He was Snow White. His given name was Brian. Oh Justin if I had only told you about Snow White yesterday he’d be alive today.”

They lowered the coffin to take a break. Whiney was his usual self complaining and whining how heavy Brian was and how his back hurt.

“Was he a prince?” Justin asked in awe.

“Yes,” Greasy answered. “Our prince.”

“He was the most beautiful prince in the land, next to you of course,” Queenie blubbered. “His mother killed him.”

“Are you sure he’s dead? His cheeks still have color, he’s exquisite,” Justin breathed. “Could I have a moment with him?” Justin pleaded.

Vic put a hand on Justin’s shoulder. “Of course.”

Justin opened the coffin lid and stared down at Brian’s beauty. This is the man he’d been dreaming of. Justin leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Brian’s lips. They felt warm to him. He let his lips linger. Justin frowned slightly; he gently probed Brian’s mouth with his fingers and removed the bit of poisoned apple. As soon as the apple chunk was removed Brian’s eyes fluttered open. He gazed into brilliant blue eyes that took his breath away.

Justin took his hand. “Brian, I can not imagine any one ever hurting you. You should only be loved and I am filled with love for you. I can not imagine life with out you.” Justin helped Brain to stand and helped him out of the coffin. “Brian will you be my partner?”

“Yes,” Brian said in an instant.

Justin drew him into a sweet kiss. He led Brian to his white stallion. He climbed on and helped Brian to mount. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist. They journeyed to Justin’s castle and were married that very afternoon. It was a small ceremony, Brian and Justin had eyes only for each other and didn’t really notice.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Back at the evil queens castle the queen was in for a surprise. Mysterious Marylyn was freed from the mirror. Her indentured servitude was over. Before she left the castle she waived her hand with a flick of her wrist. All the mirrors in the castle shattered. The queen would never be able to look at herself again with out a mirror breaking. The queen had a fuck fit of major proportions and dropped dead on the spot. In that area of the land there was much rejoicing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Justin led Brian into his bedroom chamber. He caressed Brian’s cheek; it bloomed with color at his touch. Justin pulled him in for a kiss, all the while making his way to the bed. They fell onto the bed and began to slowly explore each others bodies. Bit by bit Justin pulled off Brian’s clothes. Brian undressed Justin in the same manner. They fell back on the bed kissing and fondling.

“I… I’ve never….”

“Shhh,” Justin placed a finger to his red lips. “I know, I haven’t had much experience either. I won’t hurt you, I’ll be gentle. Do you trust me?”

Brian nodded slightly. “Yes.”

While Justin kissed Brian he swayed his hips so their erection’s brushed against each other causing friction that made them gasp. Justin laved Brian’s nipples till they were shiny taunt buds. He kissed, licked and sucked his way down Brian’s chest. Justin sat Between Brian’s legs. He grabbed up the freshly mined lube and a condom. Justin didn’t have to warm the lube because the mine that produced the lubricant was always warm to the touch. He spread Brian’s legs a little wider and gave Brian a reassuring smile.

Justin nudged at Brian’s pucker just slightly with his middle finger. At each pass he nudged a little harder till he was up to the second knuckle. He worked his finger in slowly watching Brian’s face for any signs of discomfort. Justin slowly worked one finger into Brian. He felt Brian relax and push back. Justin added a second finger, slowly working it into Brian. He could feel Brian clenching his muscles against his exploring fingers. Justin grasped Brian’s straining member in his hand and began to stroke it slightly with his probing fingers. Justin could feel Brian relaxing under his ministrations.

Justin knew it was time. He stroked on a condom and added more lube to ease the way, Brian would be very tight. Justin pressed the head of his cock against his hole and gazed into the hazel eyes staring back with innocence and trust. Brian’s legs locked around Justin’s back. Justin pushed in till the head of his cock was in. Brian fought to relax but he couldn’t help the cry of discomfort that came from his parted lips. Justin stroked his belly and cock. He remained perfectly still while murmuring sweet words of love and encouragement. When Brian had relaxed Justin pressed on frequently stopping till all eight and a half inches were buried within Brian. Justin’s fingers twined with Brian’s. Justin leaned in kissing Brian till their bodies as one told them it was time. He began a gentle rocking, thrusting shallowly. Brian looked so lovely with his red lips parted panting for air and his body writhing underneath Justin’s. Justin lengthened his strokes and picked up the pace. Brian met him thrust for thrust. The raw intensity and need grew. Their cries of passion swirled around the chamber.

Justin felt the tingling at the base of his spine signaling his oncoming orgasm. He thrust hard and fast then came with a drawn out moan of pleasure. He could feel his cum filling the condom. Brian arched his back off the bed. His piss hole opened and his cum squirted his chest, neck and shoulder. Justin fell into Brian’s arms, their arms and legs all in a tangle. They fell into a deep sleep all wet and sticky.

They fucked all the rest of their life and lived happily contented ever after.

The End

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