The Best Christmas Color of All

“Daddy!” Gus shrieked as he met his father at the airport in Toronto.

“Hey, Sonny Boy,” Brian grinned as Gus ran to him.  He dropped his briefcase, scooped up his son and swung the five year old around.  “It’s good to see you.”

“You too, Daddy.  I’m going home with you, right … on a plane?” Gus asked.

“Right, but we need to talk to your mothers first.”

“’Kay,” Gus said as Brian set him down and took his hand.  He could see Lindsay smiling at them across the hallway of the airport.  Melanie, as usual, was scowling.  That was her usual facial expression when she looked at Brian.  Things had not changed since the Munchers had moved to Toronto.  Brian picked up his bag and he and Gus headed for the women.

“Brian,” Lindsay said with a smile.  She stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek.  “It’s good to see you.”

“I was here last month,” Brian replied, but he was pleased by the welcome.  He had made it a habit of visiting Gus at least once a month since the girls had taken his son to Canada.  He had earned many frequent flyer miles over the last year, but it had all been worth it.  Brian loved the way his son had come to love him, or so it seemed.  That love was matched only by Brian’s love for the boy.

“Brian,” Melanie said in her perfunctory fashion.

“Mel.”

“How long do you have before your flight back?” Lindsay asked.

“About an hour.  This flight is a turn around.”

“Let’s get a cup of coffee,” Lindsay suggested.

“I think Gus and I should check in first,” Brian said.  “Right, Sonny Boy?”

“Yep,” Gus agreed.  He didn’t know what his father meant exactly.  All he knew was that his mothers were letting him go to Pittsburgh with his father.  And he was going on a plane.  That was what he had wanted for Christmas and they had said he could do it.

Brian saw the escalator that led from the arrivals level up to the departures.  They all went up the escalator.

“You’ll need these,” Melanie said as she shoved some papers at Brian.

“What are they?”

“Documents that we’ve signed giving you temporary guardianship of Gus till we get to Pittsburgh.”

“You could come with us now,” Brian suggested.  “I told you I’d pay for…”

“I have to work,” Melanie interrupted.  “We’ll drive down on Christmas Eve.  We’ve given permission for Gus to fly down with you, so you better appreciate it.  We don’t need your charity.”

“Suit yourself,” Brian said annoyed that his attempts to make Gus’ moms’ life easier were not only rejected but thrown back in his face as well.

“Mel, take Gus over to that restaurant.  I’ll stay with Brian while he checks in,” Lindsay suggested.  Mel gave her a sour look, but took Gus’ hand and headed for the restaurant.  “I’m sorry about Mel.”

“Not sorry enough to get rid of her,” Brian retorted.

Lindsay sighed.  “It hasn’t been easy for us up here.”

“Then why the fuck don’t you come back?  I’d save a fortune on airfare.”

Lindsay chuckled.  “It’s always about you, isn’t it?” she teased.

“Of course,” Brian smirked as he handed the tickets to the agent at the desk.

“Two of you traveling today?” the agent asked looking Brian up and down.

“Yes, me and my son.”

“This doesn’t look like your son,” she said.

“Obviously not.  He’s in the restaurant with his mother,” Brian replied starting to feel testy.

“Documents?”

Brian handed the woman his passport and Gus’ papers.  He waited as the woman scrutinized them more thoroughly than he thought necessary.  He was about to say something when she handed them back and printed their boarding passes.

“Have a nice flight,” the agent said.

“Thanks,” Brian replied as he studied the boarding pass, checking the gate and time for them to leave.

He and Lindsay walked over to the restaurant.  They found Gus at a table with Melanie.  All of the sugar packets were spread out on the table in front of them.

“I ordered us all coffee, and chocolate milk for Gus,” Melanie said.

“Thanks, hon,” Lindsay cooed.

“Don’t make me barf, you two,” Brian snarked as he sat down under Melanie’s death glare.  “What are you doing, Sonny Boy?”

Before Gus could answer, Melanie piped up.  “He’s learning grouping at kindergarten.”

Gus nodded his head.  “I have a yellow group and a blue group and a white group and a pink group,” Gus explained.

“You know your colors too,” Brian said with a smile.

“Yep.”

“Gus is doing very well at his school,” Melanie supplied, as the waiter set down their coffees and Gus’ chocolate milk.

“He’s my Sonny Boy.  How could he do anything else?” Brian grinned.

“My son is extremely capable,” Melanie directed at Brian with acid in her voice.

Brian ignored her.  He picked up several of the white packets and dumped the contents into his coffee.  He grabbed one of the blue packets an sucked in his bottom lip with a thoughtful look on his face.  “Can you group all the heavy ones together and make another group for the light ones?” he asked Gus. 

Gus frowned for a moment.  He lifted the various packets assessing which ones were heavier.  He left all the white packets which contained sugar to one side and pushed all the blue, pink and yellow packets together.  “There, Daddy,” he said definitively.

“Way to go, Sonny Boy.  I think you got this grouping thing down pat.”

“You’re going to be good for Daddy until we get to Pittsburgh, aren’t you, Gus?” Lindsay asked her son.

Gus took a big drink of his chocolate milk and nodded his head.

“Don’t forget that you have him with you and wander off to Babylon,” Melanie warned.

“Just what I was planning to do,” Brian snarked.

“What’s Babylon?” Gus asked.

Brian shot his own death glare in Melanie’s direction.  “I think we better head for security.  It’s getting late,” Brian said looking at his watch and avoiding Gus’ question.  He paid the bill and they walked out to the security area where they would leave Melanie and Lindsay behind.

“You be good for Daddy, lambskin,” Lindsay said as she squatted in front of her son and gave him a long and tight hug.

“I will, Mommy,” Gus promised.

“We’ll see you in a few days,” Melanie added as she kissed and hugged her son.

“Christmas Eve,” Gus said as he had been told by the two of them many times.

“That’s right.  We’ll be there on Christmas Eve.”

“And JR too?” Gus asked.

“Yes, sweetheart,” Lindsay promised.  “We’re going to stay at Uncle Michael’s.”

“’Kay,” Gus said.  “Bye, Mommy, Mama.”  He slid his hand into Brian’s and they proceeded down the security lane. 

As they passed through the X-ray equipment, Brian turned and picked up Gus so that he could wave to his mothers.  “We’re on our own for a few days, Sonny Boy,” Brian whispered.

“Good,” Gus replied with a big smile.

*****

Gus enjoyed his first plane ride, especially since they were in first class, and Brian enjoyed being the center of attention as a father traveling with his young son and no mother.  The flight attendants were so solicitous of Gus, and several passengers commented to Brian on what a polite and charming little boy he had.  All that made the time in the air pass quickly.

When Brian opened the loft door to let them in, Gus looked around and had two questions for his father.  “Where’s Justin and where’s your Christmas tree?”

Brian chuckled.  “Justin will be here in a couple of days.  He had to finish up some things in New York,” Brian explained.

“Okay,” Gus said reluctantly.  He had really been looking forward to seeing Justin.  Once or twice Justin had come with his father to Toronto.  It was always more fun when Justin was around.  His daddy seemed much happier too.

“As for a Christmas tree, I … um … I usually don’t have one.  You have a tree in Toronto, don’t you?”

“Yes, but you can’t have Christmas without a tree.  Where will we put the presents?”

Brian chuckled.  “I’m sure we’ll think of something.”

“But Daddy, you need a tree,” Gus protested.

“I do?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Gus repeated bobbing his head emphatically.

“Well, I suppose there are some trees left in the lot down the street.  I guess we could get one.”  Brian gave into his son.

“Yay!” Gus yelled clapping his hands.  “Tomorrow?”

“Okay, we’ll get a tree tomorrow.”

“Good.”

Brian smiled at the little boy.  He didn’t think he ever had such enthusiasm, even when he was Gus’ age.  Christmas had never been much fun at the Kinneys.  Brian had always escaped as soon as he could.  He headed for Michael’s where there was always lots of food and Christmas songs and even a couple of silly presents for him.  That was something he never got at home.  He shook his head at the memory.  He wasn’t going to allow Gus to have a shitty Christmas.  If a tree would help him have a happy Christmas, then a tree was what they’d have.

*****

The next day they walked down the street and found a passable tree in the lot run by the Gay and Lesbian Center as a fundraiser.  There were a few raised eyebrows as customers and volunteers watched Brian Kinney in a very unaccustomed role, fathering his son and buying a Christmas tree.  None of the people present had ever seen the Stud of Liberty Avenue do either of those things before.  It was the source of much discussion at Woody’s and Babylon later that night.

Brian got some pointers on how to set up the tree from one of the lezzies running the tree lot.  She sawed off the bottom of the trunk for Brian, telling him to be sure to place it in a deep container full of water.  He was instructed to make sure he kept the container full, as a dry tree was a very bad thing.

Before they left the lot, Brian realized he had no decorations or stand for his tree.  He asked the same lesbian where he could obtain those items and was directed to the Big Q.  Brian tried not to groan too loudly when he heard that.  He wished Michael still worked there so he could get him to pick out all the stuff he would need and bring it to the loft.  Since Michael now had his own business, Brian knew he and Gus were going to have to make a trip to the crap emporium themselves.

Once they had the tree, Brian picked up the trunk end and Gus took the top.  Together they carried the large tree down the street to the loft.  Brian took as much of the weight of the tree as he could, but Gus did very well holding up his end so that the limbs didn’t drag on the ground. 

When they carried it into the loft, Brian set it beside the door and breathed a sigh of relief.  He found a bucket under the kitchen sink and filled it half full of water.  He placed the tree in the bucket and left it leaning against the wall by the door.

“You ready to go get some decorations for your tree?” Brian asked.

“I’m ready, Daddy,” Gus responded immediately.

Brian smiled at his son.  The boy was a real trooper.  “Then let’s go.”

They returned a few hours later laden with all the ornaments that Gus had picked out.  Brian had no idea what the tree would look like with the weird collection of things that Gus had selected.  But he decided that this would be Gus’ tree and his son could have whatever ornaments he wanted.  They had rather slim pickings at the Big Q, since it was so close to Christmas.  However, Brian was sure that Gus would like his Christmas tree because he got to pick out everything that was going on it.  And that was Brian’s main objective, that Gus should be happy.

Brian spent an hour trying to screw the tree into the fucking stand he had bought for it.  It always seemed easier in the pictures of the instruction booklet than it was in reality.  Gus handed Brian tools and did his best to encourage his father.  Brian tried not to get angry when he split his thumb open when one of the screws slipped, but there were several “fucks” and “shits” before he was done.  He and Gus bandaged his thumb and Brian went back to his job.  After several more curse words and lots of sweat on Brian’s part, the tree finally stood in front of the windows of the loft.

“Looks good, Daddy,” Gus said trying to encourage his sweating and silent father who was glaring at the tree.

“It’s not straight,” Brian stated.

“I like it,” Gus replied.

Brian felt like taking the fucking tree and tossing it down the stairwell.  He was about to reach for it when he felt Gus’ arm go around his leg and hold on.

“Don’t be mad, Daddy,” Gus pleaded.

Brian had thought that he was covering his anger, but Gus had seen right through him.  He hated the sound of fear he heard in Gus’ little voice.  “It’s okay,” Brian sighed.

“I like the tree, Daddy,” Gus repeated.

Brian shrugged.  “Then it will have to do.  I need a shower.”

Gus sensed his father was no longer angry.  He ventured to change the subject.  “I’m thirsty, Daddy.”

“Me too, and I guess we should have some dinner.  How about pizza?”

“Yay!  I love pizza.”

Brian smiled.  What kid didn’t love pizza?  Brian walked over to the fridge and got a beer for himself and a tetra pack of juice for Gus.  The boy drank greedily while Brian phoned for a pizza.  While they waited for the pizza, Brian sat Gus on the rug in front of the TV and popped in the first Shrek movie for Gus to watch.  Justin had assured him that Gus would find it very entertaining.

“I love Shrek,” Gus said with a big smile.

Brian shook his head.  Trust the ever youthful Justin to know what a kid would like.  Brian exacted a promise from Gus that he would stay there while Brian showered.  The little boy was as good as his word.  Brian found him in the same spot when he came out from his shower.  He felt considerably better washing off the sweat and changing his clothes.

The pizza arrived soon after and the two shared several slices before starting to decorate the tree.  Brian managed to straighten the tree a little bit before he placed the several strands of lights he had purchased around the tree.  Gus had fun running around the tree while Brian placed the light in his wake.  When they plugged them in the tree looked almost magical in the dim light of the loft. 

Next came the ornaments that they had purchased at the Big Q.  Brian started with the sets of colorful balls that they had bought.  He would have liked to have all gold balls or all red balls, but they didn’t have enough of any one color left so they had obtained a couple of boxes of each color.  Gus had some definite ideas about how the ornaments should go on the tree, and no matter what Brian suggested, Gus wanted the tree done his way.  In the end it was easier to simply let Gus tell him where to place each ornament.  They had some tense moments over the tree topper, but finally Brian gave in.  He could hardly wait to see what Justin would think of the unique tree when he arrived from New York the day before Christmas Eve.

Gus was very pleased with the tree.  He was sleeping on the futon while he was at the loft.  Brian had set it up in the alcove and put a screen around it.  The first night Gus was at the loft he had slept there, but now that the tree was up, Gus wanted to sleep in front of the Christmas tree with the lights on.  Gus got what he wanted.  The lights twinkled above the little boy as he lay on the futon.  Brian hoped his son would have happy dreams of the Christmas to come.

Once Gus was asleep, Brian went up to the bedroom and called Justin.

“You all set to arrive on Wednesday?”

“Yep, I’ll be there.  How did you and Gus make out today?”

“You’ll see when you get here.”

“What does that mean?” Justin asked.

“I think you better see for yourself.”

“What have you done?” Justin laughed.

“I didn’t do anything.  Gus did.”

“This sounds very mysterious.”

“Let’s just say that it’s different. “

“You like being cryptic tonight.”

“I’d like it better if you were here,” Brian stated.

“I’ll be there day after tomorrow.”

“Your flight doesn’t get in until nine?”

“Nine-forty.  I’ll take a taxi to the loft.  Gus should be in bed by then.”

“He’ll want to stay up to see you.”

“I want to see him too, but it’s too late for him to come to the airport.”

“I’ll see you when you get here.”

“Count on it.”

Brian hung up the phone and walked down to check on Gus.  His son was peacefully asleep.  Brian turned off the lights on the tree and took a book up to his bedroom.  He hoped he and Justin could find some time to fuck once Justin arrived.  As much as he loved having Gus with him for the holidays, the boy would seriously cramp their fuck time.

Brian looked at the Christmas tree and shook his head.  He could hardly wait to hear what Justin would say about it.

*****

Brian and Gus spent the next two days shopping and wrapping.  Gus picked out a lot of the gifts that Brian bought.  Some for Gus, but many for his mothers and Justin and Uncle Mikey and JR.  The list went on.  Brian liked to shop but he had never enjoyed it quite as much as when he could see the love on Gus’ face as he chose a special present for a special person in his life.  Brian knew the recipients would be pleased and would get a kick out of the fact that Gus selected the gifts for them.  When they finished the last of the wrapping Gus carried the last two presents to the tree and placed them beside the big pile that was already there.  The mound of gifts spread well out from under the tree.

“I don’t have room to sleep by the tree,” Gus observed as he surveyed the pile.

Brian decided that this was he is chance to broach a rather touchy subject.  “Um … maybe you could move back to the alcove so that Justin and I can have some privacy when he arrives tonight.”

“What’s privacy?”

“Alone time.”

“Oh,” Gus said wrinkling his brow in concentration.  “I sleep in the alcove.  You and Jus should be happy for Christmas.”

“Why thank you, Sonny Boy,” Brian chuckled.  He picked up Gus and gave him a big kiss.  “Have you had fun with me since you’ve been here?”

Gus nodded his head.  “I love you, Daddy.  Thank you for the tree and shopping and presents.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“I’m tired, Daddy.  I want to stay up till Jus gets here, but I don’t think I can,” Gus said with a big yawn.

“You’ve had some busy days since you arrived.  Justin will understand if you fall asleep.  He’ll be here in the morning when you wake up.”

“’Kay, Daddy,” Gus said as Brian carried him to the bathroom for his shower.

*****

When Justin arrived at the loft around ten-thirty, he unlocked the door and slid it back gently hoping not to waken Gus if he was asleep.  Brian had been waiting for his lover.  He was quickly at the door he pulled Justin into a toe curling kiss.

“Miss me much?” Justin whispered.

“Maybe a tad,” Brian grinned.

“Is Gus asleep?”

Brian nodded.  “I think I wore him out the last couple of days.”

“Sounds like you two have had a blast.”

“You got a tree,” Justin observed as he looked over Brian’s shoulder.

“Yeah.”

“Looks good.”

“Yeah,” Brian chuckled.

“Where is Gus?”

“In the alcove.”

“Can I see him?”

“Sure,” Brian replied as he followed Justin over to the alcove.  Justin knelt down and tucked Gus’ covers around his little body.  He kissed Gus’ cheek.  The little boy stirred and opened an eye.

“Jus?” he asked rubbing at his eyes.

“Go back to sleep, buddy.”

“You’re here,” Gus said with a happy smile as he flung his arms around Justin’s neck.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Did you see my tree?”

“Your tree?  No, not really.”

“I’ll show you,” Gus said standing up and taking Justin by the hand.  “Come on, Jus.”

“Sorry,” Justin mouthed to Brian as he let Gus drag him across the loft to the Christmas tree by the windows.

Brian shrugged and followed them.

“You certainly do have a tree,” Justin said with surprise as he looked over at Brian.  The tree was large and covered in lights with a mountain of presents underneath and around it.  Justin had always wanted a Christmas tree and had pestered Brian for one more than once, but Brian had refused saying that it was pointless as they would be spending Christmas at Debbie’s or Lindsay’s or somewhere else.  Justin surveyed this Christmas tree and smiled one of those megawatt smiles that melted Brian’s heart.  He knew that Brian had done this for Gus.

“Sonny Boy wanted a tree,” Brian said by way of explanation.  He had a silly little smirk on his face.  Justin didn’t think he had ever loved the big lug more.

“It’s my tree, Jus,” Gus declared.  “Daddy said so, didn’t ya, Daddy?”

“I said so,” Brian agreed.

“It looks … interesting,” Justin said as he walked a little closer to the tree.  The lights twinkled amid the multitude of ornaments.  “Where did you get all those ornaments?”

“Gus and I cleaned out the Big Q.”

“You did not!” Justin replied in surprise.

“Yep, we did,” Gus replied.

Justin chuckled.  “I wish I’d been here for that shopping expedition.”

“What do you think of the tree?” Brian asked wondering what Justin’s reaction would be when he got a good look at how the tree was decorated.

“Um … very … interesting … unique even.  The red ornaments are great.  The blue ones are nice.  I like the silver and gold,” Justin said as he got on a roll.  “The angels are beautiful.  And the Mickey Mouse ornaments have a certain … whimsy.”

“Don’t forget Spiderman,” Gus piped up pointing to a set of figures near the middle of the tree.

“Oh yeah, they’re … really different.  You better not show those to Uncle Michael,” Justin said with a chuckle as he touched the little figures on the tree.  “Who knew they made Spiderman ornaments?”

“Not just anyone has them,” Brian said his tongue in his cheek.

“I’m sure that’s true.”

“Do you like the way they’re arranged?” Brian asked.

“Very unusual.  Gus’ idea?”

Brian nodded.  “He’s doing grouping in kindergarten, so he wanted to group all the blue ornaments on this side of the tree and the red ones near the top.  The gold ones are at the bottom and the silver ones on this side.  The Mickey’s have their own spot, as do the Spiderman ornaments.”

“The angels are all together too,” Justin noted.

“I didn’t want them to be lonely,” Gus supplied.

“Lonely?”

“When I tried to spread them around Gus said the angels would be lonely if I separated them,” Brian explained.

Justin chuckled.  “Well, I think the tree looks … magnificent!  And I love the ornament on top.”

“It has a certain ‘je ne sais quoi’,” Brian laughed.  “I’ve grown to like the tree … a lot.  It’s all Gus from top to bottom.”  Brian and Gus looked at each other and smiled the warm smile that comes from having created something together.

“I’d say it’s perfect,” Justin stated looking fondly at his two favorite men.

“I think so too,” Gus said emphatically.  “Come sit with me, Jus.  We can look at the tree.”  Gus took Justin’s hand and pulled him over to the sofa.  He crawled up on it and leaned against Justin when the blond sat down.  “I’m glad you’re here, Jus,” Gus said with a big yawn.

“Me too,” Justin agreed rubbing the little boy’s back.

Brian sat down beside his son and put his arm across the back of the sofa to touch Justin’s shoulder.  Justin smiled at his lover and Brian felt all warm inside.  Gus laid his head in Justin’s lap and promptly fell asleep.  Brian and Justin stared at the tree each lost in thought.

“Shall we put him back to bed?” Justin whispered after a few minutes.

Brian nodded and picked up Gus.  “Then I can put you to bed,” he said with a waggle of his eyebrows.  He walked across the loft and tucked Gus into his covers on the futon.  Then he rejoined Justin on the sofa.

“It’s a great tree, Brian.  I’m glad you did that for Gus.”

“Me too.  I want Sonny Boy to have the best Christmas ever,” Brian said sucking in his bottom lip.  The more he looked at the tree the more he was learning to love it.  It was interesting and unique and … all Gus.  How could he ask for anything more?

“I’ve missed you so much.  Let’s go to bed, Brian,” Justin said huskily after a minute or two.  He was deeply moved by Brian’s words and the look of absolute peace on Brian’s face when he talked about his son and the Christmas tree.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Brian smirked, but he had to clear his throat first.  A big lump had suddenly appeared when he saw the look of absolute love in Justin’s eyes.

“Let’s leave the lights on,” Justin suggested.  “I want to make love to you by the light of Gus’ perfect Christmas tree.”

“By the light of our perfect Christmas tree,” Brian amended.

“Merry Christmas, Brian.”

“Merry Christmas, Justin.”

They walked arms around each other’s waist up the steps to their bed.  Justin took a final glance back at the unique and colorful Christmas tree.  The colors of Christmas were beautiful, Justin decided, but the best Christmas color of all was the love in the hazel eyes of his partner and his partner’s son.  Gus slept, safely tucked in his bed, while Brian and Justin made love in the twinkling light from the Christmas tree, until the wee small hours of the morning.

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