The Twelve Eves of Christmas

Chapter 6

~ * ~ * ~ * Day 11 * ~ * ~ * ~

"…And here's a song to start your Christmas Eve." The clock radio blared in the background.

I'll be home for Christmas,

you can plan on me.

Please have snow and mistletoe

Brian's only comfort this morning was the fact that at least Justin wouldn't remember how Brian had reacted to his Christmas present the evening before. Not that it was a lot of comfort, but better than the alternative.

Still feeling unsettled by the past few days' events, Brian decided to go by and visit with Michael for a while. Perhaps some time with his best friend could help relieve some of the pressure he felt at the moment.

Brian made his routine call to Cynthia before he left, then stopped to pick up a latte on his way to Mikey's comic shop. He noted that the Christmas music didn't seem to be quite as annoying this morning. Or maybe he was just getting used to it.

"Brian!" Mikey greeted as his friend walked through the door. "What are you doing here?" Like Gus, he had a big smile on his face.

"Justin decided to give everyone the day off, so I thought I'd come by and see how my best friend was doing." Brian said.

Michael laughed. "That's what you get for making the little shit your business partner." He remarked, although his voice had a fond tone to it.

Brian smiled, thinking that Michael and Justin still took shots at each other more out of habit than anything else. They actually seemed to like each other in a 'pain in the ass bother' kind of way.

"Well, he's brilliant at what he does." Brian replied with a smirk. "I'll just have to put up with all the humanitarian crap that goes with it."

"Maw says he's been staying with her for the past few weeks. You guys have another fight?" Michael asked with his usual delicacy.

"No, he and your mother are having a secret romance on the side." Brian said sarcastically.

"Eww, gross." But Michael let the subject drop for once. He'd finally started to realize that pushing his friend did nothing but generate more of those types of remarks.

They spent the rest of the morning talking and catching up in between customers. Brian even helped shelve some new comics that had come in while they reminisced.

Later in the morning while Michael was waiting on a customer, Brian went into the office and sat back in Michael's chair. His thoughts went back to his problem with Justin. He thought about asking Michael what he thought. Michael and Justin were friends of a sort. Maybe Justin had said something to Michael that would help him figure out where the blond was coming from.

Mulling that over, Brian suddenly realized that he didn't need to protect his ego today. Michael wouldn't remember this conversation tomorrow. Michael could repeat every word Brian said to every fag on Liberty and, come tomorrow, no one would remember a thing. That was actually rather freeing.

When Michael walked back into the office, Brian said without preamble. "He wants to get married."

Michael looked at the man in surprise, both that Justin had asked and that Brian had admitted it without having his arm twisted. "He asked you?"

Brian shrugged, not able to explain that Justin had, but wouldn't remember it now. "The subject came up." He replied.

Michael stared at this long time friend for several heartbeats before saying anything else. "And what did you say when the subject came up?" He asked, knowing Brian probably hadn't handled it well. He assumed that was why Justin was staying at his mom's.

"I was too stunned to say anything." Brian admitted, wincing as he remembered Justin's hurt look just before he left.

"So he left." Michael concluded.

Brian nodded, idly flipping through a comic that lay on the desk instead of meeting his friend's eyes. "I don't get why this is so important to him. It's not like it's legally binding or anything."

Michael thought that over. "When Ben and I got married, it was because we wanted to make a statement, to ourselves, to our friends and family. We wanted everyone to know just how much we meant to each other."

Brian snorted in response. That was the typical romantic bullshit that he'd expected.

"What are you going to do now?" Michael asked.

Brian glanced up. "About what?"

"About Justin wanting to get married? Are you just going to let him walk away?" Michael asked, slightly irritated at his friend's deliberate obtuseness.

"What would you do?" Brian asked.

Michael sat back, stunned by the question. He couldn't ever remember Brian asking him for advice before. Not that he didn't usually offer it anyway. "I'd say 'yes' and count my blessings that someone was crazy enough to fall in love with me." Michael answered honestly.

Brian shook his head. "I would have thought that after the professor left, you'd be a little less of a romantic. Relationships never work, yours included." He didn't say it in his usual sarcastic manner, just pointed out the facts.

Michael reached over and put his hand over Brian's, causing the brunet to look up at him. "At least I had something really special for awhile. And even if I had known how it would end, I still would have done it because I know that he did love me."

"Then why aren't you out there looking for Prince Charming number two?" Brian huffed, remembering the conversation at the diner a few nights back. "You're not going to find him in here." He added, holding up the comic book.

Michael sat back again, thinking that over. He had been rather reluctant to get back into the dating scene. "I guess I just needed some time to pull myself together; regroup."

Angie's words from a few days before echoed in Brian head. He just needs a little time to recharge.

"I met this guy the other day when Ted and I were out. I've been thinking about calling him." Michael continued, his fingers making idle patterns on the desk top.

Regardless of his personal feeling on the matter, Brian knew that Michael had been his happiest when he'd been with Ben. Brian might suck at relationships, but Mikey thrived on them.

Brian pulled out his cell. "What's this guy's number?" He asked.

"What?" Michael asked, confused.

"The guy you met." Brian clarified, holding the phone ready to dial.

"Brian, you're not going to call him." Michael said, dread in his voice.

"Number please." Brian asked again.

Realizing that Brian was serious, Michael pulled the number from his pocket and sheepishly handed it over. "What are you going to say?" He asked, concerned as Brian dialed.

"I'm not, you are." Brian said as he waited for a ring then handed the phone to Michael.

Brian listened, slightly amused as Michael stuttered a few random phrases into the phone. It amazed him that his friend had ever had even one relationship if this were his approach.

"Tell him to meet you at the Pavilion tonight." Brian prompted, deciding that his friend was going to need some help if this were going to go anywhere.

Michael somehow managed to relay that into the phone. He managed a few more comments before hanging up and handing Brian his cell.

Brian accepted the phone back with a raised eyebrow, silently asking the question.

Michael looked up with a silly grin on his face. "He said he was looking forward to seeing me there."

"It seems that my work here is done." Brian said with a smirk. "I have a concert to attend."

"Brian… what are you going to do about Justin?" Michael called as the brunet walked toward the door.

Brian paused and looked back. "When I figure that out, you'll be the second to know." He replied, then made his escape.

Michael looked after his departing friend, slightly confused for a moment. Then he realized who the first to know would be and smiled to himself. Maybe Brian was finally growing up after all.

After Gus' concert, Brian was at a loss as to what to do with himself. A part of him wanted to see Justin, but a larger part was afraid of where any conversation they might have would end up.

Even though he knew that his time was running out, Brian found himself sitting alone at Woody's having a drink while he thought things over.

Angie had said that Justin was only a part of what he needed to fix. There were also his friends and family. Well, what passed for his family anyway. There was no way he was going to try to renew a relationship with his mother or sister. They were both probably glad to have him out of their lives.

He thought about all the people in his life and realized that he was slowly but surely letting them all drift away just by making himself less accessible; burying himself in his work. Justin had tried to tell him, but he hadn't listened. Why did that damn twink have to be right so often?

Brian laughed ruefully at himself. Justin was right so often because Brian didn't know what the fuck he was doing when it came to relating to people in a non-sexual way. Hell, Gus was better at relationships than he was and the boy was only seven.

As he thought over the past few days, Brian realized that the times he had felt the most content were when he had simply been spending time with the people he cared about. Angie had called it 'giving himself' and now he was beginning to understand what she meant. At least, he hoped he was.

But that still left the problem of Justin and the whole marriage thing. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend his life with the blond. He couldn't imagine not having the younger man around. It wasn't that he thought he'd have to give up tricking. Those were few and far between anymore and he knew that Justin hadn't completely given up doing that himself. They both understood that the others meant nothing.

Brian tried to think of marriage in a positive light and found that he couldn't. There wasn't a single relationship that he could think of that wasn't a living hell or hadn't ended in a break up. Then again, if he and Justin were together, but not married, those things could still happen.

What did getting married really mean? Or more importantly, what did marriage mean to Justin? What did the blond feel that he was missing out on that being married would give him, even if it wasn't legal?

The evening wore on with Brian getting more drunk and no closer to the answer than he'd started out.

~* ~* ~* ~ * ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~ * ~* ~* ~* ~

Later that night, as Brian woke in the hospital room, he wondered aloud if he had made any progress today at all. "I'm not getting anywhere, am I?" Brian complained.

Angie looked at the brunet for a moment before speaking. "Why did you force Michael to make that phone call?" She asked.

Again, Brian shrugged. "He's happier when he's with someone and he hasn't been since he and Ben broke up. Maybe this guy can change that."

"Even though you think relationships are a crock of shit?" She asked

"I didn't think angels were supposed to curse." Brian said, sidestepping the question.

"Messenger." She corrected. "We don't use profanity. There is a difference." Then she just stared at him, waiting for his answer.

"He doesn't believe that. He never really has." Brian finally responded.

"So you did something for him, even though you don't understand why it's important to him, just to try to make him happy." She stated.

Brian didn't respond. Something about her words made him squirm uncomfortably. He watched silently as Angie placed his clothes on the bed and started to walk out.

"Angie?" The woman turned and waited. "Will they remember any of this?"

She seemed to understand what he was asking. "They'll remember the last day. The others will just be vague feelings with no real substance."

Brian nodded and the woman gave him a small smile before leaving. One more day. How did he want to be remembered?

~ * ~ * ~ * Day 12 * ~ * ~ * ~

"…And here's a song to start your Christmas Eve." The clock radio blared in the background.

I'll be home for Christmas,

you can plan on me.

Please have snow and mistletoe

and presents under the tree.

Christmas Eve will find me,

where the love light gleams.

I'll be home for Christmas,

if only in my dreams.

Brian woke convinced that this was his last day on this earth. He knew that he would fuck it up again and that would be the end of it. It was almost a relief to know that it would be over soon.

He made his morning call to Cynthia and canceled the presentation and sent everyone home. At least they should be able to enjoy the holidays. As he took his shower, Brian again pondered the question he had asked himself the night before. How did he want to be remembered?

Thinking back, he remembered how much he had enjoyed the time he spent with Gus shopping. It had worked out better in the afternoon. They'd had more time then. He called Lindsay and made arrangements to take his son with him after the concert.

That still left this morning though. Brian reviewed all the ways he could spend his morning, but they all came back to Justin. More than anything else, he wanted to be with his partner today. Perhaps, if he just avoided the whole gift/marriage thing, it wouldn't end so badly this time.

Having made his decision, Brian drove over to Deb's and let himself in. Just like the previous morning, Deb and Justin were sitting at the table eating breakfast.

"Hey, Deb." Brian said, pouring himself a cup of coffee as he had before.

"Don't 'hey, Deb' me, buster." Deb huffed. "Where the hell have you been?"

Brian grinned to himself. Repeated day or not, Deb would still harass him about his absence from the family. "I'm a busy working man, Deb." He responded, then took a drink from his cup. He glanced over at Justin, who wasn't meeting his eyes.

"Don't you have a presentation to do this morning?" The blond asked, poking at his remaining food.

Brian sighed. "I cancelled it and sent everyone home. I'm surprised that Cynthia hasn't called yet."

"I left my cell upstairs." Justin said, finally looking up. "You gave everyone the day off?"

"It's Christmas Eve, Sunshine. Where's your Christmas spirit?" Brian replied. When Justin just gave him a puzzled look, he turned to Deb. "So what are you up to today, Deb?"

The woman replied just as he had expected. "I was going to see Vic." She said, sniffling a little bit. "But the car is on the fritz. I'm afraid if I take the bus, I'll miss Gus's concert this afternoon." Then she looked him in the eye and commanded. "You are going, aren't you?"

"Of course." Brian said mildly, trying not to laugh aloud. These repeated conversations were rather humorous if he looked at them the right way. He glanced over at Justin and felt warmed by the smile on the man's face. Maybe he could do this.

"I can give you a ride to visit Vic, Deb, and to the concert too." Then turning to Justin, Brian asked. "How about you, Sunshine? Want to tag along?" Okay, so it was the same thing he'd said before, but it had worked then, so why change it?

Brian let out the breath he'd been holding when Justin gave him another one of those smiles. A part of him had feared that the man would decline, despite the way things had gone a few days before. Deb, of course, gave a squeal and jumped up to give Brian a hug and kiss.

"Let me go fix myself up and we can go." She said and then bustled up the stairs.

Brian stood to help Justin clear the dishes from the table.

"That was nice of you, Brian. Deb was really disappointed this morning when she realized she couldn't do both things." Justin said as he put the dishes in the sink.

As Brian walked up behind him, Justin laughed a little. "Here, you've got lipstick on your cheek." He grabbed a napkin and gently wiped the bright red gloss from Brian's face.

Looking into those blue eyes concentrating on the task at hand, Brian knew he had to set some things straight. "You were right, you know."

Justin met Brian's eyes, confused. "About what?"

"That I work too hard. That I don't spend enough time with the people I care about." Brian moved closer, raising his hand to caress the blond's face.

Justin's smile was even brighter than before. "I'm always right, you just never listen." He teased.

Brian smiled back, then pulled the smaller man close, enjoying the feel of the blond's body pressed against his. Justin sighed slightly and melted into his lover's embrace.

They stayed that way, neither saying a word, until Deb came bustling back downstairs, ready to go. Brian reluctantly let the blond go as he gently pulled away.

They did have to wait a few minutes longer, however, as Justin ran upstairs to change his shirt. He'd managed to get the tail of it wet while leaning against the counter.

As they had done previously, the two men walked with Deb to the grave site then Brian slowly walked on, stopping by the statue of the angel to smoke a cigarette. Justin joined him there a few minutes later.

"She still feels guilty about that argument they had." Justin said. "I'm not sure she's ever going to forget that their last words were spoken in anger."

Brian tossed his cigarette to the ground and crushed it under his foot. "Vic knew better. They would have made up eventually." He remembered where this discussion had gone previously.

Justin sighed. "I think she knows that, but it's easy to have doubts sometimes. Especially if the person can't reassure you."

Brian knew he couldn't leave his partner with that kind of doubt. He thought that what he had said before had gotten his point across okay. "Just because two people disagree, it doesn't mean that they don't care about each other."

Justin smiled slightly. He understood what Brian was trying to say. They stood in comfortable silence after that, waiting for Debbie to finish her visit.

The two men took Debbie out to lunch - someplace that wasn't the diner - before going to Gus' concert. Debbie kept a watchful eye on her two boys, although, for once, it looked like Brian was actually trying to put things right.

They were on their way to the school when Brian pulled over in front of a rundown community center and parked the Jeep. "I'll just be a minute." He said as he climbed out.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Debbie asked, looking around the area in puzzlement. Justin, however, had no better a clue than she did.

Brian didn't see the boy and his sister inside yet. It was a little earlier than they'd come in before. He walked up to the counter and handed the person in charge an envelope, explaining that a woman would be coming in shortly with two children and that the envelope was for her. The woman smiled and promised to pass it on when they arrived.

Climbing back in the Jeep, Brian ignored the looks his two passengers were giving him.

"Brian, what are you up too?" Justin asked as they pulled away from the curb.

Brian decided that no one really needed to know about this particular gift. It was just something Brian had to do. Who knows, maybe Santa would be able to land on their car tonight. "Just spreading a little Christmas cheer." Brian said. Justin and Debbie exchanged puzzled looks, but Brian refused to say anything more about the stop, despite their attempts to wrangle it out of him.

After the concert, Brian took his two favorite men to the mall for some last minute Christmas shopping. Gus was thrilled when he was told that he could pick out his own gifts for the family. Brian watched with amusement as Justin and Gus looked over one possibility after another, discussing the pros and cons of each. He'd definitely been right before; Gus did have Justin's shopping gene, not his.

After they dropped Gus - and all the presents he'd bought - off at the munchers, Brian debated on what to do next. As much as he wanted to just take the blond back home, he also remembered how a very hesitant Michael was debating tonight about whether to move on with his life.

"Do you mind if we stop by the diner for a bit? I promised Michael and you know how he gets." Brian looked over at the blond who, so far, hadn't shown any signs of wanting to be somewhere else.

Justin laughed. "Might as well. Otherwise, he'll just be beating the door down later. Who knows what he might interrupt then."

Brian felt a twitch in his groin at that. Maybe Michael could work this one out by himself…

Sensing the debate that was going on in the brunet's head, Justin leaned over and rubbed his hand down the man's leg. "We've got all night." He purred. "And you need to feed me first anyway."

Brian growled back a response. "Keep this up and I'll pull over and fuck you in the Jeep."

"I don't know, Brian, the Jeep is kind of cramped." Justin replied. "The seats go back though." He added, demonstrating.

When Brian looked over, he could see that teasing look on Justin's face. Well, the guys would just have to wait. There was a smug blond that needed to be taught a lesson about enticing one's partner.

When they finally made their way to the diner, Justin had a smug, freshly fucked smile on his face and Brian was feeling rather self-satisfied himself. They joined the guys, who were already eating, in their usual booth.

"Hey, Brian, Justin." Michael greeted with a bright smile.

"Well, well, it looks like things are looking up in Kinneyland." Emmett purred. "That's a 'just got fucked' look if I ever saw one."

Justin laughed good-naturedly, while Brian simply smirked. "Make-up sex is always the best, you know." Justin replied.

"Is that why you two fight so much?" Ted asked. "And I thought it was because Brian was just an asshole."

"Yeah, but he's my asshole." Justin said, giving his partner another smug look.

The guys were amazed when Brian didn't even attempt to disagree. The waitress came by then to get their orders. Once she moved off, they resumed their conversation.

"Well, Michael, since it looks like Brian is going to be otherwise occupied this evening, you can go to the Pavilion with us." Emmett said.

"Maybe Jon will be there." Ted added.

"Who's Jon?" Justin asked, to Brian's relief. It was hard to hold the same conversation over and over without letting on that you already knew what the other person was going to say.

Michael looked a little sheepish. "Well, he's this guy I met the other day. We traded numbers, but I'm not sure if I want to call or not."

"He really seemed to like you, Michael." Ted said. "You should call him."

Brian decided that his ploy the day before had worked out well. No reason not to put it into play once again. He pulled out his cell. "What's this guy's number?" He asked.

"What?" Michael asked, confused.

"The guy you met." Brian clarified. Justin hid his smile behind his hand.

"Brian, you're not going to call him." Michael said, dread in his voice.

"Number please." Brian asked again.

Michael handed the number over. "What are you going to say?" He asked, concern in his voice.

"I'm not, you are." Brian said. When he heard the ring, he handed the phone to Michael.

The guys were tittering among themselves as Michael struggled to find something to say. Justin rolled his eyes as Michael stammered a few phrases into the phone. "No wonder he didn't want to call." Justin whispered to Brian, who then had to keep from laughing out loud.

"Tell him to meet you at the Pavilion tonight." Brian prompted, hoping the guy hadn't made other plans since it was later in the day then when they'd done this previously.

Michael managed to relay that information and then made a few more comments before hanging up and handing Brian his cell back.

"Well, don't keep us in suspense." Emmett gushed. "What did he say?"

Michael looked around with a silly grin on his face. "He said he was looking forward to seeing me there."

"It seems that my work here is done." Brian said with a smirk. "Where's our food?"

Emmett decided that he needed to take Michael back to their apartment so that he could dress appropriately for his upcoming date.

"Emmett, remember that Michael isn't one of those fortunate few that can wear orange pants and blue leopard skin and get away with it." Brian observed, tongue in cheek.

Emmett merely flounced off while Michael rolled his eyes at his friend.

Once the other men had left, Justin gave Brian a puzzled look. "What was that about blue leopard skin?" He asked.

"Emmett tried to help Michael dress up for his first date with Dr. David. Michael was about ready to cancel." Brian replied, smiling a bit at the memory.

Justin started laughing. "Oh, god, I would have loved to have seen that. Did he really have on orange pants?"

Brian nodded. "And a tight, blue, leopard skin shirt."

"You know, I think that Zephyr could use a new look." Justin said thoughtfully, his eyes dancing.

Brian raised an eyebrow. "Michael would kill you; you know that, don't you?"

Justin started laughing. "It would be worth it just to see his face." By the time their food arrived, they were both laughing.

Neither man seemed willing to break the light-hearted mood that had fallen over them, a pleasant change from their weeks apart. Once back at the loft, however, the carefree attitude changed to one of lust. Their sojourn in the Jeep had only whetted both of their appetites.

Lying in the bed some time later with his blond lover curled up against his side, Brian tried to push the events of the past few days out of his mind and enjoy this time they had together.

"Brian?" A sleepy voice interrupted his thoughts. The brunet looked down into Justin's blue eyes which were watching him thoughtfully. He felt the butterflies start in his stomach.

"I thought you were asleep." Brian responded.

Justin smiled and curled up closer. "I think I was for a bit. It's still early though."

Brian didn't make a response; he just ran his fingers through the soft blond hair lying against his chest.

"Brain…" Justin began again. "Where are we going with this?"

There was a whole host of butterflies fluttering around now. Brian caught himself almost asking that same question again. Taking a deep breath, he replied instead. "How about you moving back home for starters?"

Justin grinned, then sat up to straddle his lover's hips. "I never really moved out, you know. I just needed some time to think." He leaned over to kiss the brunet's lips. "And I think you did too."

When Justin pulled back, Brian could see that the blond was debating something. He was glad they hadn't gone back to Deb's. The rings would still be there. Brian didn't think he was ready to face that just yet.

"Wait here, I have something for you." Justin said, hopping up and bounding into the living room where his coat had landed.

Brian felt his heart sink. He knew what was next. He swallowed hard as Justin came back, his step a little hesitant now. "I got you a Christmas present." He said doubtfully. "I've been debating on how to give it to you."

Brian realized that he was holding his breath. This was the moment he'd been hoping to avoid all day.

Justin handed the package to Brian. "I bought this a few days before I left." He said.

Brian took the present, his hands shaking slightly. He couldn't blow this. Not because he was worried about how the evening would end, but because he couldn't bear Justin walking out again, knowing he'd never have another chance to make things right. He knew it was now or never.

"Go ahead. Open it." Justin prompted gently, pulling his legs up in front of him and wrapping his arms around them as he waited.

Brian methodically unwrapped the gift, then opened the small box. He chewed on his bottom lip as he took the two rings from their resting place and held them up to the light. "I think this one is a little small for me." He said, attempting to lighten the heaviness that was weighing down the air around them.

Justin managed a nervous smile. "That one's for me, you goofball."

Brian slid the smaller ring onto Justin's right hand. "You're right. It fits perfectly." He observed.

Justin was staring at him, his mouth open in surprise, not sure what exactly was happening. Brian held the other ring out to him. "Aren't you going to see if this one fits?" He asked.

His hands shaking, Justin took the ring from Brian and slid in onto the man's finger.

Brian held his hand up, looking his present over. "Looks good." He said simply.

Justin couldn't believe that Brian was taking this so calmly. "Brian , you do know what these are, right?"

Brian answered, tongue in cheek. "They look like wedding rings to me, Sunshine."

Justin blinked a few times. "And we're wearing them." The blond reminded his partner.

"I thought that's what one did when one got married." Brian smirked back.

"But, we didn't have a ceremony or anything…" Justin stammered. He was at a loss to explain Brian's easy attitude. He had expected a major drama queen moment at the very least.

Brian pulled Justin to him, kissing the blond's neck as he spoke. "All we need … is you … and me … together… like this."

Justin melted into his lover's arms. Suddenly, he pushed back, an impish grin on his face. "Does that mean we're married now?"

Brian looked into those blue eyes and felt the butterflies disappear. It hadn't been so difficult after all. "As married as we can be." He replied.

Justin leaned forward for another kiss. "I still want my ceremony." He breathed as he nipped at the brunet's ear.

"I'm not wearing a white dress." Brian replied, groaning slightly as Justin's kisses moved downward.

"I think black Armani suits you better." Justin replied, looking up for a moment. "And you look really hot in that red shirt and tie."

Brian forwent responding as Justin continued his downward path.

After some mutually satisfying time in bed, Justin managed to wheedle Brian into watching The Miracle on 34th Street on television. The blond even finagled his new husband into sharing a bowl of popcorn with him.

"Is this what I have to look forward to as a married man?" Brian queried as he watched the blond stuffing his face with popcorn. "Being subjected to corny Christmas shows while I watch my husband grow a size or two?"

Justin leaned his head back so that he could look Brian in the face and grinned. "I thought you liked watching me grow a size or two." He said suggestively, giving the brunet a buttery kiss.

"Well, as long as that's all that's growing." Brian replied, licking butter off the blond's cheek. Maybe Gus had gotten his eating gene from Justin also.

Eventually, the two men curled up together on the couch while the movie played on. After a while, Brian noticed that Justin had fallen asleep. Looking at the clock across the room, he realized that it was approaching midnight.

Brian felt a catch in his chest as he recognized what that meant. Had it been enough? Was he going to make it until tomorrow? He knew that staying here wouldn't guarantee anything. If he had failed, they would find a way to take him.

Feeling the blond stir in his arms, Brian pulled him closer. He didn't regret what he'd done today. Even if he never saw tomorrow, Justin would never doubt how Brian had felt about him. And if he did make it, well, he had the most wonderful man in the world to share whatever was left of their lives with.

Brian glanced up at the clock again, noticing how time was running out. He buried his face in the blond's neck as he felt his heart start to race. A part of him kept saying that it wasn't enough, that he could never be what they wanted. His grip tightened as a pain ran through his chest.

Justin began to stir as Brian's hold on him tightened uncomfortably. Justin woke completely as he heard a groan of pain from behind him. "Brian?" He could hear the man's breath coming in gasps.

Justin managed to pull himself free of Brian's grasp and turn around. "Brian, what's wrong?"

Brain clutched his chest as the pains came more frequently. He tried to push himself up, but the room started spinning. The last thing he saw before the blackness claimed him was Justin reaching out for him.

~* ~* ~* ~ * ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~ * ~* ~* ~* ~

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Kinney." A strange voice was talking to him. He could tell by the antiseptic odor that he was back in the hospital again. "How are you feeling?"

Brian opened his eyes to find himself back in the same room again, only there was a male nurse fussing around his bed instead of Angie. "What was it this time? A heart attack?" He asked, feeling drained.

The man laughed gently. "No, just a case of indigestion with a touch of an anxiety attack." The nurse replied.

Brian stared at the man for a moment before what he'd said finally registered. "Wait, what did you say?"

"It was just indigestion." The nurse repeated.

"No, before that. Did you say it's Christmas?" Brian asked.

The man smiled. "Yes, Santa's probably still making his run, but it is Christmas." The nurse put Brian's clothes on the bed. "You're free to go whenever you want."

As the nurse left, Justin poked his head through the door. Seeing that Brian was awake, he flashed his best Sunshine smile and bounced over to his husband's bedside. "You're awake." He said, unnecessarily. "You scared the shit out of me, by the way."

"It was just indigestion, Sunshine." Brian said, pulling the blond into his arms. Nothing had ever felt quite this good. "I told you carbs after seven was a bad idea."

"Humph, I guess I'll have to start listening to you." Justin replied, holding the brunet tightly. Then he whispered, sniffling slightly. "I thought I was going to lose you."

"Looks like you forgot your allergy meds again." Brian said, wiping a few errant tears from the blond's face.

Justin laughed a bit at that. The emergency was over and they were fine. He handed Brian his clothes. "We still have a few hours before we need to be at Gus' for presents." The blond said. "And it is our honeymoon." He added with a mischievous grin.

"I thought the honeymoon came after the ceremony." Brian observed as he changed out of the hospital gown.

"We're making our own rules, remember." Justin laughed. "Don't think you can get out of the ceremony that easily." Justin teased, trying to stop the tears that threatened to overrun again.

Brian pulled the blond close again. "Anything you want, Sunshine. Anything at all."

~* ~* ~* ~ * ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~ * ~* ~* ~* ~

The two men were walking down the hall when Brian saw a familiar figure in white walking away from them. "Wait right here. I'll just be a minute." He told Justin as he quickly started to follow the retreating nurse.

Brian finally caught up with the woman in a break room. "It's Christmas." He said as she turned toward him. "And I made it."

Angie smiled brightly. "I'm so glad, Brian." She stepped forward and took his hand in hers, holding it so that the ring caught the light. "Was it very painful?" She teased.

Brian managed a rueful laugh. "Actually, it felt pretty good."

Angie laughed softly. "I think you'll do just fine now, Brian."

"No more Groundhog Day?" He asked.

The woman shook her head with a smile.

Brian nodded with a smile back. Then he turned and made his way back to his husband who was waiting impatiently for his honeymoon to commence.

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