G is for Goodbye

 

“Justin, wait.”

Justin stood, hand on the heavy loft door, afraid to turn around. Afraid the tears in his eyes would start to fall. He waited.

“Let me at least give you a ride.”

A deep sigh escaped his lips. “No. I hate airport goodbyes. Besides, you’re not quite dressed properly for public display.”

“We could always find out.”

That brought a slight smile to the blond’s face. Typical Brian. ‘Say it, Brian. Please say it.’

He heard the sound of bare feet padding on the wood floor until they stopped right next to him. He caught the scent of sweat and love that he would never forget. He heard the voice that would stay with him forever.

“Don’t go.”

How he wanted to hear those words. “You were the one who said I had to go. You were the one who pushed me away.”

“Not ‘away’. Never ‘away’. I just want you to …”

“Realize my dreams, I know.” Justin raised a hand but stilled it just short of actually touching the unshaven face before him.

Brian waited for the touch but it didn’t come. He tilted his head until he felt the warmth of the raised hand.

“It’s not forever, Sunshine. I just don’t want you to regret not giving it a chance. I don’t want you to resent me for …”

“Never.”

He needed to go, but did he really want to go? Brian wanted him to be all he could be, but did he really want him to leave?

“I won’t say goodbye. You know that.”

“Then, how about just saying ‘later’?

Brian nodded, trying to smile. He wasn’t sure he liked the feelings that went with the words he said for the first time just days before. No, that’s not entirely true. He liked the feelings, he just wasn’t sure how to handle them.

“Later, Sunshine. I’ll see you soon. Promise.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

One final tight hug sealed their goodbye.

It wasn’t forever, they both knew that. It was something that just had to be.

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