He sat on the cold marble bench and looked out over the green field just as the sun rose over the hill. Pulling his jacket closer around him to stave off the cold, he stood and walked the few steps necessary to be in front of him again. For ten years he'd come here on this day. Ten years that had flown by. The first nine of those years he'd not said a word, but today that was about to change.
His voice broke when he began to speak after a long silence and he wondered if he'd make it through this anniversary without shedding tears.
It doesn't seem like ten years ago. I can still see it all so clearly. The way your smile lit up the room. Your laughter filled a void I hadn't even realized existed until that night.
They say everything happens for a reason, right? For the life of me, Sunshine, I haven't been able to figure out the reason for this. It makes no sense at all to me how it could all end this way.
I saw your mom the other day and she hugged me. Molly was with her. She's driving now, can you believe it? She'll be in college soon. I couldn't tear my eyes off of her. She has that same smile, the one that just draws you in. It lights up her face and her blue eyes sparkle the same way yours did back then.
Funny how I see you in almost everything, especially now. Gus is growing up so fast and I can't help but wonder if he even remembers you. I know the munchers tell him the story of how he got his name but does he remember how you held him?
The sun's coming up, just over the hill, turning the sky beautiful shades of pink. It reminds me of the painting you did. I stop and stare at it every time I'm in that office complex.
He sank to his knees and rested his head against the cold marble of the headstone, tracing Justin's name with a finger. The tears he'd held in all year came rolling down his cheeks as he spoke to the young man who'd changed his life with just one smile.
It was my fault. I still blame myself. If I hadn't shown up. If I hadn't kissed you. All of this would be different.
Fucking Chris Hobbs walked away with a slap on the wrist and you got this. Ten fucking years, Sunshine. Ten years without your smile.
How do I move on? Why didn't I do something more? I ask myself a million questions and I never find an answer.
All I know is that I miss you. I miss the way you pushed your way into my life. I miss how you always laughed at Michael's attempts to cock block, which is still a word I'll never understand.
I can still see you that Halloween, all dressed up, so proud of yourself for being so creative with your costume. Every time I see that photo I smile.
Looking up at the sounds of cars making their way into the cemetery, Brian pressed his fingers to his lips and then back to the headstone before pulling himself to his feet. He laid the bouquet of flowers across the grave and turned to walk away.
Turning back one last time, he pulled his coat tighter around him and headed off towards his car.
Twenty minutes later Brian found himself sitting in the Liberty Diner, savoring a cup of coffee and reading the paper. Turning a page he saw the article about the law that had just passed that strengthened the penalties for hate crimes.
Ten years it had taken to pass Justin's Law. Ten years and the life of one very special young man. With a sad smile, Brian whispered to himself,