Were sometimes shattered

We picked up the pieces

And carefully put them

Together...

                          Leonard Nimoy

"Sweetie, why don't you just talk to him? You can't go on like this, you know." Once again, Emmett was trying to push some sense into his friend's head. He thought is was totally ridiculous that Justin and Brian were avoiding each other like they had over the past few months.. He could see that they were both miserable and it was all he could do not to tell Brian that Justin was living back at home with his mom. Justin knew Emmett wanted to tell Brian that not all was well with his relationship with Ethan, but, no matter how hard it was for Em to keep that secret, he did. Or at least he had, so far. Emmett was starting to think he was going to have to step in to get things rolling with his friends.

Justin and Emmett were sitting in a small café not far from the school where Justin was teaching his summer art classes to kids. They'd already eaten their sandwiches and had started on dessert. Justin had listened to Em all through the meal, and was getting tired of it. He swallowed the piece of apple pie a-la-mode he had in his mouth and washed it down with a large gulp of coke.

"Em, please. This is between Brian and me. It's really no one else's business, so stop. I've told the same thing to Mel and Lindsay, too. It's something we have to work out ourselves," Justin said, stabbing his fork in the air to make his point.

"But, Honey, you're NOT working it out. That's my whole point. You avoid him, he avoids you, you're both miserable. You'll never get anywhere like that." As much as he tried not to, Em was starting to get angry. He truly believed Brian and Justin belonged together, and he'd had enough of their stubbornness.

"Just give me time. It's only been a few months. I'm the one that messed up and I'm the one that has to ask to be forgiven. I'm not sure I'm ready to face him just yet." Justin paused long enough to let his friend's statement sink in. "Is he really miserable, Em? Is he sorry I left?" Emmett watched as those perfect blue eyes became glassy with tears. He reached across the table and took his friend's hand in his and just held it til Justin was ready to talk again.

"I miss him, Em. I miss him so much. How could I have let Ethan get to me with his pretty words? I mean, I like Ethan. He's cute and nice and I think he really loves me, but.."

Emmett handed Justin a linen hankie. "Thanks." He tried giving a small laugh, but didn't quite make it. "But I can't love him the way he wants me to." Justin shrugged his shoulders and blew his nose into the hankie after wiping his eyes. "I didn't think I had any more tears left."

"Hon, it's over now. In the past. Chalk it up to lessons learned and go on. Brian misses you. A lot. I can see it in his eyes when someone mentions you in his presence. You know him, he doesn't say anything, but he gets this look on his face. Almost kinda sad. And he won't let Mikey say anything bad about you. He defends you to him, but his damn Mick stubbornness just gets in the way. You and Brian are meant to be together. Don't throw your chance for happiness away. I know Brian's not perfect, by a long shot. But he loves you. Of that I'm sure."

This time, Justin did smile. "I guess. I mean, I know." He swallowed the last of his coke and wiped his mouth. "Can we get out of here now? People are starting to stare at us." They both left money on the table and walked out of the café.

"Looks like I overstayed my lunch break. Again. Oh, well, it was for a good cause." Em leaned down and kissed Justin's cheek. "Sweetie, think about what you want and go for it. You'll never know til you try. I do know that Brian hasn't been his same sweet self since you left."

"Thanks, Em. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't still my friend." Emmett smiled and waved back to Justin as he headed back to the shop. Justin headed off in the opposite direction to the school and another class of budding artists.

That evening as Justin lay in his bed, he thought about all that Emmett and his mother had said over the past few days. It was all true. The question now was, could he get Brian to forgive him? To trust him again? Did the fact that, as Emmett said, Brian was miserable mean that he actually missed him and wanted him back? He hoped it meant that he had another chance. He had been making it a point to not be seen where he knew Brian would show up. Maybe that was his starting place. As Justin drifted off to sleep, he imagined he was in Brian's arms again.

***********************************

"Cynthia!"

Cynthia shook her head as she picked a file off her desk and walked into Brian's office.

"Yes, Boss?" she snapped back. She was really getting tired of this part of the Kinney attitude. She had seen it before, many times, but this is the longest it's ever lasted. If Brian and Justin don't get things straightened out, well, she didn't know what, but something bad was going to happen and would either involve a sharp object or an unemployment check. Right about now, she was leaning towards the sharp object.

Brian looked at her, trying to figure out what was bothering her, all the while knowing he was the cause of her snappy mood. "Sit down," he said in a softer voice. That was the only apology Cynthia knew she would get from her boss, so she accepted gracefully. "Where's the latest figures on the Pro-Tex deal?"

Cynthia handed him a manila folder and waited for him to scan the information. She wasseriously thinking about asking if there were something she could do to help, but, she knew her boss well enough to know that he wouldn't tell her a thing. All he would say was, "Nothing's wrong, " and she was supposed to believe him. "Boss, is there something I can do?" There it was out in the open. Now it was his turn to do something with the offer.

"No, these figures look great. I think we're ready for Houston. Just make sure the story boards are ready by Friday morning so I can go over them one more time, okay?"

Cynthia sighed deeply and Brian looked up from his desk. "What?"

"What? Is that all you can say?"

"You asked if there was something you could do. I answered. What else do you want to know?"

"This attitude you've had for the last few months is really getting tiring, Boss. No phone calls from Justin since that party. It's just not right. Isn't there something you can do?"

"Look. It's none of your business. It's mine, or it was. There's nothing I can do about it now."

"It is my business." Cynthia rose from the chair and leaned over the desk, looking her boss squarely in the eyes. "It is my business, because you're making my life miserable. I knew how to handle the old Brian Kinney shitty attitude, but this, this is different. Do something or I will."

"And just what would you do? No wait, don't answer that, I don't want to know," he said, looking once again at the folder. " Don't forget to close the door on your way out."

Cynthia left the office with a smirk on her face that would make her boss proud. That was the old boss who just dismissed her. Now she knew things would get better. Eventually. Just to make sure, or at least get things started, she picked up the phone and dialed a number she hadn't used in a long while. Her mind was busy forming a plan of action as she waited for an answer from the other end. She got voice mail and left a message with her home phone number as well as the office number, just in case.

***********************************

It was Saturday morning and the group of friends gathered at the Liberty diner as usual for breakfast. Ben and Michael were the first to arrive, followed shortly by Ted and Emmett. They slipped into the booth across from Ben and Michael. "So, where's Brian this morning?" Ted asked. "Too much partying last night?"

"He didn't even show up at Babylon. He's been working really hard. Doesn't get home til nine or ten o'clock some nights," Michael offered, looking up as the bell over the door rang. "Here he comes." Ben and Michael automatically moved over so Brian could sit down.

Once Brian arrived, Debbie approached the table, fuzzy tipped pen in hand. She looked at "her boys" and smiled. Then thought of the one who wasn't there. No matter how angry she was at Justin a few months ago, he was still part of her family and she missed him. She loved her Sunshine, and wished things had been different. She knew she wasn't very nice to him after the party when she saw him leave with the young dark-haired boy. Michael finally told her the story, putting his own spin on things. Of course, according to him, it was all Justin's fault. Justin cheated on Brian. Justin didn't appreciate everything Brian had done for him. Justin humiliated Brian in front of all his friends. Justin could do no right. Debbie sorted through all the information her son gave her and what she knew of Brian first hand. She knew that Justin wasn't the only one to blame. She thought of all the things those two had been through, and how, each time, they seemed to land on their feet. She knew one thing for sure, and that was that they loved each other. But Brian couldn't say the words to Justin, and as far as she knew, Justin never really said the words out loud to Brian.

"Hey, Deb. How about some service here."

"Keep your pants on," she shot back to Ted, her thoughts of Justin temporarily pushed back in her mind. "Now. What can I get for you boys this morning?" When Deb finally had all their orders and poured five cups of coffee, she headed to the kitchen.

"So, how's the new issue of Rage coming, Michael?"

"Not so good. Roger takes so long to get the artwork back to me and it's just not...not," Michael stopped, trying to find the right words. He didn't really want to admit that he missed Justin's input and talent. "It's just not quite right."

"What you're trying to say is, it's not as good as Justin's artwork.  Right?"

Michael really hated admitting it, but Justin was better than Roger. Besides his interpretation of the story being better, he always had the drawings in on time, or even early. Michael skewed up his face and nodded slightly.

"Why don't you ask him to work with you again?" Everyone was surprised at Brian's suggestion or the fact that it was Brian who made it in the first place. Four pair of eyes stared at him as he fought to keep all emotion from his face.

"Brian, I can't believe you asked that. Do you think I'd work with him again after what he did. You're my best friend. I can't betray you like that."

"How would you be betraying me? He did what he felt he had to do. What I made him do. Nothing more, nothing less. I didn't give him a choice."

Just then, Debbie came with the breakfast orders. "What's going on. Why all the somber faces?"

"Nothing, Ma."

"Uh huh," Deb answered, not believing it for one minute. After a moment's hesitation, she asked if there was anything else they needed then walked away when everyone said no.

"Besides," Michael said to no one in particular, "I don't even know where Justin and his boyfriend live."

"Oh, he's not living with Ethan..." Emmett quickly stopped speaking when he realized what he was saying. "Damn," he said quietly, wincing.

Brian calmly put a piece of cantaloupe in his mouth and chewed it. "Oh? He's not living with the fiddler?"

As if on cue, Michael and Ted both asked where he was living.

"I can't say. I promised Justin."

"Em, how do you know where he's living and when do you see Justin?" Ted asked.

"We've kept in touch. I have lunch with him several times a month. We...talk. He's my friend and I'm not going to deny that. I don't care what any of you thinks of him."

"What do you mean, what we think of him?" This from Michael. "He's a liar and a cheat. That's all there is to it. After what he did, you expect us to be friends with him, Em? Please."

"What did he do to you? What happened between Justin and me, happened between Justin and me. He never did anything to hurt you, did he? In fact, he's the one who should be angry at you." Michael stared at his long time friend, startled at he words he heard. He couldn't believe Brian was still defending Justin.

Brian quit talking before he said something they would both really regret. Instead, he turned to Emmett. " Where is he living, Em?

Em sighed deeply. "With his mother. He has been for quite a while. Look, he made me promise not to say anything. To anyone." He glanced at Brian, trying to gauge his reaction.

Brian, of course, didn't, or wouldn't, let his feelings show. Especially in this crowd. "Well, it's no one's business but his, but I don't know why he wanted to keep it a secret." Brian got up, threw some bills on the table and walked out of the diner. Four pair of eyes followed him.

Michael started to get up, too, but Ben held his arm. "Let him go, Michael."

"But, he needs..."

"He needs to be alone right now."

Michael sighed and settled back into the seat and slowly picked up his fork, stabbing at the scrambled eggs that were cooling on his plate.

Brian walked down the sidewalk, almost passing his Jeep. He was deep in thought over what Emmett had revealed. Justin's living with his mother. "That's certainly a revelation," he thought. "I assumed he was still with fiddle boy, walking on cloud nine." His mind was trying to comprehend the information he just received and wondering what happened to change things, Brian got into the jeep and just started driving, no real destination in mind.

Surprisingly, or not, an hour later he was parked a few doors down from Jennifer's condo. He saw himself sitting on the steps, throwing a tennis ball back and forth with Justin. A simple task, except when it was therapy for an injured hand. The painful memories of the prom and the bashing flooded his mind. No, that's not right. No painful memories of the prom. Only beautiful memories of holding his blonde angel in his arms and dancing the perfect dance. The painful memories were of what happened after the dance and after the perfect kiss. He sat there until he noticed the owner of the house he was parked in front of giving him warning looks from the porch. Brian acknowledged the man with a slight nod and drove off.

***********************************

Justin walked into the small deli, immediately spotting his "date".

"Hi, Justin. It's been a long time."

"Hi, Cynthia." Justin sat down, feeling a little awkward, but smiling just the same. It had indeed been a long time. Over six months, if his memory was correct. "Why did you want to see me?"

"Bottom line, huh?"

The waitress brought two bottles of water and menus then left.

"Justin," Cynthia started, ignoring the menu. She put a warm hand on the younger man's arm. "I don't like involving myself in Brian's personal business. I do enough getting into his business at work, but...I'm not even sure how to handle this."

Justin looked down at the table and sighed. "I had a feeling this was why you asked me here."

"I'm sorry if I upset you. I have to do something. Brian, who is hard enough to work with at the best of times, has been almost impossible the last few months. I don't know what happened to the two of you, but if it's something that can be resolved, I'd like to help. Brian's my boss, but he's also my friend. Let me help."

"Does he talk about me?" Justin paused a few seconds, then added, "No. He wouldn't." He picked up his menu and scanned the sandwich choices, took a drink of water, looked out the widow, all the while trying to ignore the stares he was getting from across the table. "Do you know Emmett?" Cynthia shook her head. "He's one of Brian's friends. Mine, too. In fact, he's one of the few people who still talked to me after I left Brian. He likes to get me out to lunch and talk about Brian, too. He thinks we belong together. Me and Brian."

"If the way Brian has been acting lately is any indication, so does he. What do you think?"

Justin closed is eyes and sighed. "I love him, Cynthia. I always have, but he is not easy."

Cynthia chuckled. "Tell me about it. What do you want, Justin? What do YOU want?"

"To be with him."

Cynthia just nodded.

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