The Secret

= 5 =

Sipping her third glass of wine for the afternoon, Joan made no effort to get up when the phone rang. She was in no mood for tele-marketers or family, so she let the answering machine pick it up. A strange yet familiar voice came through the speaker. A voice she had longed to hear so many times in the past thirty years and at the same time, hoped she’s never hear again.

“Joan? This is Carl...Horvath. I need to talk with you as soon as possible.  It’s about... your son.”

She almost dropped the glass. So the Detective Horvath Claire had told her about was Carl. She wondered how long it would take him to put all the facts together. Not long, it seemed. She knew she would have to talk to him eventually, then he would know for sure. And once Carl knew, that Novotny woman would know. Then everyone, including Brian. Then what? She upended the glass and drank the rest of the wine in two swallows. So much for secrets. They never stayed that way forever.

Carl left his office at three-thirty to be at the diner by four. He hadn’t heard back from Joan and he figured he wouldn’t. He would have to go to her. But first he wanted to talk to Debbie. A minor accident held up traffic so that he was fifteen minutes late pulling up to the diner. Deb was standing outside waiting. As soon as the sedan pulled up, she opened the passenger door and got in. “You’re late.”

“There was an accident,” he said, the tiredness evident in his voice.

“Honey, are you okay? What happened? Was the car damaged?”

He held up his hand to halt her string of questions. “Not me. I’m fine. Traffic was just backed up. That’s all.”

“Oh. Good.”

“Can we go to your place? I just want someplace quiet to talk.”

“Sure. Vic is with Emmett planning some big party.” Debbie wasn’t sure what was going on with Carl, but she had a feeling being alone with her wasn’t about a little afternoon delight.

Debbie made a pot of coffee while Carl watched from one of the kitchen chairs. Coffee done and poured, Debbie sat at the table, too. For once she kept quiet until Carl was ready to talk.

“Deb. When I first met Brian and found out his last name was Kinney...I knew a Kinney a long time ago.”

“Oh, yeah? Who?”

“Joan Kinney, Brian’s mother. I gave her a speeding ticket once.”

“It’s a wonder you didn’t have to give her a ticker for DUI,” Debbie said with more than a little contempt in her voice. She looked at Carl and asked, “How long ago was this ticket?”

“1970. Late summer.”

“And you remembered her from that long ago? That must have been some speeding ticket.”

Trying to stall with the rest of the story, Carl, picked up his cup and took a drink of the hotliquid. “You make good coffee, Hon. That stuff at the station is...”

“Carl! Quit stalling and tell me what’s going on.”

“Joan and I, we...saw each other for several months after that. I don’t have any excuse. I knew she was married and had a child. One day she just left. I never saw her again.”

Debbie sat back in her chair, trying to process the information she was hearing. So Carl and Joan had a little thing thirty-some years ago. Why all the... “Shit,” she thought to herself.

“You think Brian is...?”

Carl nodded. “Not think he is, Hon. He is. My son.”

“How can you be so sure? I mean Jack was there. She and Jack surely were...”

Shaking his head, he answered, “He was in Scranton for six solid weeks. Brian is my son. I didn’t think about it until he was arrested. His birth date was on the report.”

“What does Joan have to say?”

“I haven’t talked to her yet. I called her earlier but only got the answering machine. Before I see her, tell me about her. And Brian’s childhood.”

“I can give you my opinion, from what I saw and heard. Carl, Jack was a mean bastard. Drunk a lot of the time and ever meaner when he was. Brian...Brian took most of the punishment. I didn’t know him until he was fourteen, but you knew that already. He’d come over here, bleeding and bruised several times a month. I’m sure that was only the worst of it. There was a lot we didn’t see.”

Carl hated what he was hearing. If he had know about the child, maybe things would have been different. “And Joan. Why didn’t she stop it?”

“Joan’s life was the church, at least when I knew her. She pretended everything was okay, that she deserved what happened to her. She let Jack rule the house with an iron hand. Almost as if it was payback for something she did, some indiscretion she had to atone for. And it was, wasn’t it. You. She had to atone for what you and she had done. Her drinking got worse, too.”

“She didn’t protect her children?” That didn’t sound like the Joanie he knew. She was very protective of Claire when she was a child.

“God knows, Claire has a lot of emotional scars, but as far as I know, she was never physically harmed. Just being in that family is enough to scar anyone. Now that I know about...all this, maybe Joan felt she deserved to be punished. And her son? He had nothing to do with this.

“Battered wife syndrome,” Carl mumbled. “Brian. Now I think I understand about him. His attitude. Always having to be in control.”

Debbie smiled. “Oh, Baby, you don’t know the half of it. What are you going to do? Tell him?”

“I’m not sure. Would it change things? He’d probably hate me for not trying to rescue him. For leaving him there, in harm’s way.”

Giving Carl’s hand a squeeze, Debbie offered, “Honey, he’s a wonderful man.  Granted there are a few, quite a few, flaws, but none of them are bad. They’re just armor against getting hurt. Before Justin left, I think he’d been working on that armor and had a good chunk of the real Brian Kinney exposed. Brian’s learning. It just takes time. Maybe you can help, too.” No one spoke as they sat there holding hands for several minutes.

“Um, I need to go.” He stood and Debbie put her arms around him. “Thanks for understanding.”

“Hey, we all have pasts.”

They kissed at the door and Debbie watched Carl get into his car and drive off. “I’ll be damned,” she said softly. “Brian is Carl’s son. I’ll be damned.”

Carl drove away, thankful for Debbie’s understanding nature. He wasn’t sure what to expect from her, but it turned out okay. He didn’t like what he heard about Brian’s childhood, though. He still didn’t understand why she had kept his son a secret, no matter what Deb had said.

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The buzzer sounded and Brian got up from the computer to answer it. He buzzed the detective in and slid the heavy steel door open a few feet. Justin, who had been sitting on the sofa sketching, stood up.

“Do you want me to leave or go into the bedroom?”

“No. I have no secrets from you. You live here now.” Justin smiled at the words and the sentiment. He had just reached up for a kiss when a discrete cough was heard. They broke apart and Brian greeted his guest, shutting the door at the same time.

Carl sat in a chair and watched as the boys sat together on the white sofa. They looked very comfortable together without even trying. Deb was right about Justin being good for Brian.

“What happened with my sister and her spawn?”

“I talked to them for about an hour this morning. John told me what happened. It was just like you said. The DA was called in, and no charges are going to be filed and the report expunged. You should have no more problems from it.”

“Well, I’m glad the truth came out.”

“Thanks to Justin.”

Brian looked at his lover and took his hand. “Yeah. I figured he had a hand in this somewhere, “ and smiled. He received a red faced, sunshine smile in return. “Is that all, Carl?”

“Yes,” Carl said as he stood to leave. At the door he hesitated. “Brian, son, I’m glad it all turned out for the best. This wasn’t something that would look very good on your record.” Brian was surprised when the detective put a friendly hand on his shoulder and gave a squeeze.

“Thanks,” Brian said, confused at the change in Carl’s attitude towards him since this whole thing started. Sure, they’d been friendly in an “acquaintance” sort of way. He was part of Debbie’s life so Brian was sure to have to see him every once in a while. But this was just too weird. “Carl, is there something else wrong with this? You know, Claire or John? I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“No. Legally, it’s all been settled. You don’t have anything to worry about there. I have to go.”

Brian watched as the elevator started it’s descent before he closed the door.

“Brian, what’s wrong?” Justin said, as he put his arms around Brian’s waist and pulled him close. “It’s all over with.” Hoping to lighten the mood, he added, “Now, where were we when we were interrupted?” Brian put his arms around Justin and kissed him. “Mmmm, yeah. That’s where.”

They walked to the bedroom, losing clothes as they went. As they reached the bed, Justin’s mouth on his skin wiped out any thoughts but the sensations going through his body right then.

Everything else could wait til tomorrow.

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