Something More

Chapter 6

Justin kept his eyes on the cracks in the sidewalk as he walked along, collar upturned to protect his fair skin from the harsh cold of a Pittsburgh winter. He wanted to know if anyone saw the pavement crack. He wondered when it happened, if anyone saw.

Who could see something that snuck up on them like that?

The sidewalk broke, crack by crack, bit by bit, until it rose and caught the toe of your sneaker, making you fall flat on your face.

That was what had happened with Brian. Love snuck up on him like a bit of raised pavement and sent him crashing to the ground.

When he saw a set of handprints imprinted in the cement, he stopped walking. He had reached his destination.

"What are you doing, mister?" Brian asked, hands resting dramatically on tiny hips. Justin looked on, wiping his mop of hair from blue eyes.

Brian, at six years old, was a force to be reckoned with. He popped his gum and raised an eyebrow at the man crouched at the end of his driveway. Justin joined his best friend, double the trouble.

"I'm putting in a new section of sidewalk, all up and down the street." Brian looked the man up and down, noting his bright orange vest and dirty jeans. The small boy smoothed his white tee shirt over his tiny belly. He wrinkled his nose, and Justin noticed a sprinkling of barely there freckles dotting his friend's sun kissed nose. Blue eyes squinted against harsh summer sun and looked back at the man in front of him.

"You boys want to put your handprints here?" The man asked, gesturing to a square of wet cement with the tip of his trowel. The small boys looked at each other and then nodded vigorously. They dropped to their knees in the grass and the man helped them place their small hands in the cement, side by side. They wiped their hands off on the grass and surveyed their work.

"Now, when we're big and grown up, we'll look at these and always be able to remember this summer, and our friendship." Justin smiled, revealing the gap in his teeth. The dollar from the Tooth Fairy was weighing his pocket down. The boys threw their arms around each other, laughter rising up to mingle with the sunshine.

Justin crouched down and placed his hand over the mold of his own, feeling neither big nor grown up. The handprints were unscathed, the cracks not coming near the moment in time.

That alone gave Justin hope. Hope in such a dismal world is not easily obtained. Cling to it, hold it close.

Never give up.

Justin sighed and closed his eyes. He saw Brian at the age of six behind his eyelids, and wondered how old he was when that light sprinkling of freckles faded into flawless skin.

He turned up the walkway, slowly carrying himself to Brian's front door. He had no clue what he was going to say, or what he was going to do.

It was never supposed to be hard with Brian. He never thought he would have to watch his step around him.

He knocked once, and then rang the doorbell before rapping his knuckles twice against the door. He had done that every day since he was old enough to ride his bike to Brian's all by himself. It was his knock.

Mrs. Kinney opened the door with an annoyed tug and harsh eyes. Justin lifted his eyes to meet hers, seeing the woman through a veil of blond. He felt like a small child again, unsure and unknowing.

"Is Brian home?" His voice was small. He cleared his throat and shut his eyes.

"No, Justin, he isn't. He's out with…Emmett, I believe," she responded, her wiry fingers clutching to a glass of wine as if it were a lifeline. "I'll be sure to tell him you dropped by." Justin nodded, feeling awkward as this woman stared down at him. He nodded and spun around on his heels, jogging back out to the street.

He walked down the sidewalk, not even bothering to watch for cracks.

*************************************

Shine I'll stand by you

Don't try and push me away

Cause I'm just gonna stay

You can shine, I won't deny you

And don't be afraid it'll all be ok

"Ooh, that's Justin!" Emmett exclaimed, fishing his cell phone from his pocket. Brian lifted his head abruptly and opened his eyes, abandoning his former position, which consisted of sulking in a booth at the Liberty Diner.

"Don't answer it!" Emmett waved him off and clicked talk. Brian growled deep in his throat.

"Hey baby!"

"Hi Emmett."

"What's wrong? You sound like someone just got rid of all the colors in the world."

"Yeah, I know... Listen, is Brian there?"

"Brian?" Emmett looked over at Brian, noticing the pleading look in his eyes as he waved his hand in front of his neck. "No, Brian isn't here."

"Really? Joan said he was with you."

"Um, nope. Haven't seen him."

"Okay. Well, I'm gonna go. Bye."

"Bye." Emmett ended the call and whipped his head to face Brian, murder in his eyes. "Will you please explain to me why I just had to lie to one of my best friends?"

"I don't want to talk to Justin," Brian sighed, shaking his chestnut hair from his eyes.

"Liar."

"You always were one to call me on my shit," he mumbled, taking a drink of his coffee. Emmett clicked his tongue and shook his head. "I just don't know what to say to him."

"How about that you love him?" Brian rolled his eyes and let his head fall to the tabletop dramatically. "Honey, leave the dramatics to me. You need to tell him."

"Tell him what?" Brian mumbled against the cool table.

"Dumb isn't a pretty color on you."

"Emmett," Brian moaned, not lifting his head. "I thought I was your best friend."

"You are," the flamboyant teen replied immediately.

"Then just pat the back of my head and tell me everything will be alright." Emmett rolled his eyes and did pat the back of his head, but said nothing.

*************************************

Justin turned onto Liberty Avenue with a sigh, cool blue eyes studying the ground as he walked. Something hard collided with him, knocking him flat on his ass and leaving him out of breath. He just shook his head and let out a long whoosh of air, wondering when things would start to look up.

"Fuck!" Came a voice somewhere above him. "I'm so sorry. Let me help you up." Justin thrust his hand in the general direction of the deep voice.

"It's quite alright. Seems like I've been knocked on my ass a lot lately," Justin mumbled.

As the hand pulled him up, he turned his face up and found himself looking into a pair of dazzling green eyes.

The boy in front of him looked no older than he, wearing a heavy winter coat zipped up to his chin. He had unruly sun bleached hair, framing his face in an uneven shag of a haircut. His skin was bronzed, dusted with freckles caused by too much sun.

Justin didn't want to think of freckles and childhood happiness lost.

"I wasn't watching where I was going," the boy offered, laughing nervously. His tongue poked out to fiddle with the ring through his lip. The sun glinted off of it and caught Justin's eye. "I just moved here."

"Let me guess, from someplace warm," Justin replied, snaking his cold fingers through his windblown hair.

"San Diego, how'd you guess?"

"You don't get a tan like that in Pittsburgh. That and the fact you're wearing a parka." The taller boy laughed, the ice officially broken. He held out his gloved hand and Justin slipped his own into it.

"I'm Jake."

"Justin." They shared a small smile and Jake dropped his hand.

"I'm hungry," Jake told him, rubbing his stomach for emphasis.

"Subtle," Justin laughed, shaking his head.

"Want to get something to eat?"

"Sure, I know of a great diner right up the street."

"Lead the way, Justin."

*************************************

Emmett looked up when he heard the bell over the door jingle. His hand stopped patting Brian's head and he sat up to see Emmett's worried gaze.

"What is it?" Brian asked.

"It doesn't look like everything is going to be alright." Brian turned in his seat to follow Emmett's gaze. When his eyes landed on the door, he swallowed hard as his heart dropped to his feet.

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