Something More

Chapter 2

Justin hadn't seen Brian in three days.

The first day, he told Brian he was tired. On the second, he conveniently didn't feel good. On the third, he "forgot" to turn on his cell phone. But here was the fourth night, and Brian was on his doorstep.

"Hey," Justin told him.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were ignoring me," Brian smirked. Justin laughed nervously and ushered him inside.

It was just better not to see Brian when his emotions were too strong. It was better to hide and try to make them dissolve.

"Your parents are on their date night, right?" Justin nodded the affirmative and collapsed onto the sofa, clad in a tee shirt and flannel pants. Brian looked over at his scruffy looking best friend and raised an eyebrow. "You okay?"

Justin looked up at Brian's too beautiful face and forced himself to nod. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" He could think of plenty of reasons.

"I don't know. You just look…sad."

He was.

"I'm not. I'm just tired."

"I know what would wake you up," Brian replied. He pulled his tee shirt over his head and Justin was blinded by the view. He thought Brian was going to try to fuck him. He shut his eyes against the thought. "Let's go swimming."

"Swimming?" He didn't have time to give an answer before Brian grabbed his hands and led him out his own back door.

The water looked crystal clear, cold, foreboding.

"My swim trunks are dirty," Justin argued weakly. Brian turned and unbuttoned his jeans. Justin wanted this and dreaded it at the same time.

"Who needs trunks?" With that, Brian was naked. Justin's eyes automatically scanned over his hard body, eyes flickering with lust. This was how it always happened. Resist, pull away, get reeled in.

He was broken out of his trance by Brian jumping into the water. He shook his head and watched Brian's golden body resurface, beads of water traveling down his skin. He pulled off his own clothes and climbed into the pool. He treaded water, toes scraping along the bottom as Brian swam laps. Justin shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Where's Molly?" Brian asked absently as he swam up to Justin. The blond watched goose bumps form on Brian's skin, his mocha nipples hardening due to the evening breeze against his wet skin.

"Emily's for the night." Brian nodded and swam around Justin, eyeing him. The blond dunked his head under the water to get used to the temperature. Brian swam in another circle and Justin gasped when Brian's arm wrapped around his waist.

Deep breath. One. Breathe. Two. Sigh. Three.

He closed his eyes, waiting to see what Brian's next move would be. The boy was so unpredictable, hard to read. Justin was surprised to feel himself be pulled under the water.

He resurfaced and stared into Brian's laughing face. "Asshole!" He shouted, but his spirits were lifted.

What do you do when the only person that can make you feel better is the person that hurt you in the first place?

They swam together after that, splashing, laughing. They dunked each other under the water, chased each other, and felt so happy. Justin was enjoying the company of his best friend until said best friend pushed him up against the side of the pool and started kissing his neck.

Justin balled his hands into fists, keeping his arms straight against his sides. He wanted to pull away, but instead he tilted his head to the side to allow Brian better access to his wet flesh. His eyes were shut tight, and he sighed.

He didn't want to be a fuck buddy anymore, but he couldn't stop. This was better than nothing. This way, as Brian licked and sucked at his skin, he got to fantasize about what could be.

A fantasy was better than nothing at all, right?

Justin got bold. He ran his hands up Brian's back and into his wet hair. He pulled his head back roughly and plunged his tongue into Brian's open mouth. The taller boy tensed in surprise but quickly returned the heated kiss, pushing Justin against the side so hard that the pavement scratched his smooth skin. The blond wrapped his legs around Brian's waist and they kissed, and kissed, and kissed.

It was the longest kiss they had ever shared. Justin wouldn't let it end. He couldn't.

When air became a necessity, he breathed through his nose. He clawed at Brian's back, clamoring for a fantasy he so desperately wanted to come true.

It was Brian that finally broke the kiss. He stared at his best friend with wild, confused eyes hazy with lust. Justin thought he was going to pull away, but was surprised when Brian smashed their lips back together and they stayed locked in a heated embrace.

The second kiss was broken with a surprised moan from Justin as Brian slid three fingers into the blond's puckered hole. Justin threw his head back, resting it against the cold, wet cement as Brian leaned over and took a condom from his jeans. He brought his hand back into the pool and quickly rolled the latex onto his aching dick, placing it at Justin's entrance.

Justin locked eyes with Brian, fierce blue against harsh hazel. Brian held the gaze and he slid into Justin in one smooth motion. Justin moaned again, not bothering to try to keep the sounds inside this time. They moved together fast and hard, water splashing around them. Justin held onto Brian tightly, digging his fingernails into his flesh. Brian slid in and out faster, never taking his eyes off of Justin's.

Then Justin did what he swore he would never do.

"Brian!" He screamed out, moaning in ecstasy. "Brian. Brian." He chanted the taller boy's name over and over, as if it were a mantra he used to make it through the day. Brian bit down on Justin's chin and thrust harder, staring up into big blue eyes.

"Oh god, Justin."

*************************************

The music numbed Justin's brain. He liked it that way.

The music hid the water in his eyes when he watched Brian dance with someone else, a random trick, a hot fuck, not him.

The music pulsed inside of him. He felt it from the inside out. The music was a part of him. The music lived in him.

The music played on as Brian ran his lips along the jawbone of his trick, his prey, the catch of the day. Justin gulped, threw back a shot of tequila, ordered another, and stared on.

The music did so much. He wanted the music to make him blind.

He threw back another shot. Ordered another. Please make the music stop. Maybe they'll stop dancing. He threw back yet another shot.

"Justin," Michael's voice was full of concern. "Are you okay?" He looked over at the brunet, a practiced look of nonchalance in place.

"Peachy." He turned back to the train wreck in front of him in time to see Brian whisper the magic words into the ear of the fuck de jour. Brian grinned and dragged the trick through the chains and into the infamous back room. He closed his eyes, but it was too late. He had already seen it. He knocked back one last shot and turned towards his friends.

"I'm outta here." He didn't realize his words were slurred. He just wanted to get away from the music. Thumpa thumpa thumpa on his heart.

"What? How are you going to get home?" Emmett asked, placing his hand on Justin's shoulder. He shrugged it away.

"Dunno."

"What do we tell Brian?"

"Don't give a shit." Justin disappeared into the crowd, leaving the four boys to stare at each other in confusion. The blond stepped outside into the cold air and gasped against the sensation. The music was quieter here. Didn't matter. It had already done its damage. "Hello Johnny," he said to the bouncer. "Thank you for the marvelous evening." Justin stumbled off of the steps and barely caught his balance before falling against the pavement.

"Whoa, Justin." Johnny put his hand on the teen's shoulder and he once again pulled away. "Let me call you a cab."

"No, I think I'll walk. It's a pretty night." He paused and looked up at the stars. "The music won't stop, Johnny." The bouncer shook his head and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

"You're completely trashed. You're staying here until I put you in a cab." He dialed a number and ordered the cab while ushering more boys into the club. The line slowed down and he sat down on the step next to the shaking blond boy. "What's wrong?"

"He doesn't…" He trailed off, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"He doesn't what?"

"He doesn't love me." Justin looked back down at the shadowy pavement and closed his eyes. Johnny shook his head, knowing exactly who he was. He saw it in those blue eyes every time they came to the club. Johnny sighed, rubbing Justin's back as he shook.

Once the cab arrived, he helped Justin in and paid the driver. Justin said goodbye and Johnny saw gratitude swimming in pools of sadness. His heart broke for the kid. He took his place back in front of the doors of the kingdom where so many hearts were broken. And the thumpa thumpa goes on.

*************************************

They will see us waving from such great heights

'Come down now,' they'll say

But everything looks perfect from far away,

'Come down now,' but we'll stay...

Justin opened his eyes, staring into the shadows of his bedroom. No more music. He couldn't handle it. His eyes landed on his cell phone, blinking blue and vibrating near his pillow.

That was Brian's ring tone.

He reached over and flipped open the phone with his thumb and brought it to his ear. "Hullo?" He answered sleepily.

"Hey," Brian responded, alert and muffled. "Why'd you leave?"

"I wanted to."

"How did you get home?"

"Johnny put me in a cab."

"I would have taken you home."

"I didn't feel like waiting for you to pull your dick out of that guy's ass." His tone was harsher than he intended, but he didn't care. There was silence on the other end and he closed his eyes against it. Say something.

"Are you sure you're okay? You've been acting weird lately."

He was so blind.

Justin sighed, but said nothing. No, he wasn't okay. Could Brian make it better? Probably. Would he? Probably not.

"Justin?"

"I'm fine. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

"Um, ok. Bye." Justin shut the phone and shut his eyes. He let the alcohol lull him back into a deep sleep. He just hoped he didn't dream.

Dreaming got him nowhere.

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