Something More
Chapter 10
You've got a lure I can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye
Brian hit the stop button on his stereo as the last strains of the song he had been listening to for the last hour ended. He looked himself over in the mirror, frowning at the bags under his eyes.
He heard a car horn outside and sighed.
"Justin! Will you hurry the fuck up?" Brian called from his car as Justin exited his front door. The blond took a pace that could only be called strolling until he reached the car.
"The lake isn't going anywhere, Brian." Justin took his beach towel from his neck and tossed it in the backseat.
"Yeah," Brian replied. "But the sun is."
"The sun is right here, baby," Justin laughed and threw his arms out to his sides, letting his head fall back. He closed his eyes, basking in the warmth of a summer afternoon. Sunshine cradled every bit of him, making him glow. Brian was awed by the sight.
In that moment, Justin was worth the sun's weight in gold.
Time for Babylon.
He never thought he would dread that statement.
*************************************
"Right here," Justin said, pointing to a parking space.
Jake maneuvered his car through the crowd of shiny young men, a mass of Peter Pans, and took the spot. The two boys got out and made their way along the side of Babylon. The walls practically vibrated with the music and the excitement of its patrons. Jake stopped at the end of the line, getting in it. Justin laughed and shook his head, pulling Jake out of line and forward.
"We don't wait," Justin informed him. Jake smirked, impressed.
"That so?"
"The bouncer loves us. Me. Whatever." Justin shook his head and Jake noticed the sad look in his eyes. Brian was the air in his lungs, Jake realized.
He hoped he found something so real someday.
"Hey," he said, wrapping his arm around the shorter boy's shoulders in a comforting embrace. They stopped walking and just looked at each other. The alley was filled with music and chatter, catcalls and rejections. "You'll be us again. This plan will work."
"This is the longest we've gone without really talking to each other," Justin told him. "It's weird. It's like this part of me is missing." Jake smiled and kissed his lips in a friendly, comforting way.
"You really love him, don't you?"
"Oh, you can tell?" Justin asked in mock surprise. The blonds rested their foreheads together and Justin thought about how tall Brian was. His face always fit so perfectly against Brian's neck, like a mold.
"You know, there was time we were the same height," Justin spouted randomly as the boys walked through their junior high school.
"When we were, what, four?" Justin pushed him playfully and they both laughed.
"No! Until a few years ago. We were around the same height and then that one summer you had that major growth spurt. I remember because you had that little belly right before." Brian stopped dead in his tracks.
"Excuse me?" Justin turned to face him.
"Yeah you had a little bit of chub right before, like your body was getting ready for it. Then you grew like eight feet and was skinny as a rail again."
"Fuck you. I did not have a belly. Ever."
"Whatever you say." The two boys walked on in silence. They met up with Emmett near their lockers.
"Hey Emmett," Justin said to him. "Remember that growth spurt Brian had a few summers ago?"
"Yes!" Emmett replied. "Because he had that cute little tummy right before!" Both boys started patting Brian's hard abs.
"I hate you both," Brian deadpanned. "The point of the story is, when we were eleven I had a growth spurt, and Justin stopped growing forever."
"Fucker!" Justin punched him in the arm and the three boys laughed all the way to class.
Justin slipped his hand into Jake's and strolled up to the door. The bouncer was watching over the entrance as usual. As always, he stopped the flow of the line to greet Justin.
"Hey!" A tall man dressed in lime green protested. Johnny held up his hand.
"Shut it."
"Hey Johnny!" Justin greeted him. The large bouncer looked over at the two boys. He smiled at Justin and raised his eyebrow at Jake.
"Who's this?" Johnny asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Jake rolled his eyes.
"Everyone just loves Brian, don't they?" Jake asked, a smirk across his lips. The bouncer smiled and softened his gaze.
"Yup," Johnny replied. "Better get used to it, kid."
"I'll try," Jake told him.
"Brian and Emmett are already inside," Johnny informed the smaller blond. "I heard you two were on the splits." He eyed Jake again wearily, glancing at their interlocked fingers.
"Hopefully, that will change tonight. Johnny, meet Jake. Jake is assisting me in what we like to call The Farce." The boys explained their plan to Johnny, who laughed in amusement.
"Good luck boys," Johnny told them as he ushered them inside.
*************************************
"Brian, I'm going to kick you in the head."
Emmett looked over at his friend, who was too busy moping and staring into space. Ten guys gave Brian the once over in a five minute span and Brian didn't even blink. He shook his head and turned towards Emmett.
"Huh?"
"I said I was going to kick you in the head. Cheer the fuck up." Brian rolled his eyes and took another sip of his double Beam. "Hear the music. Feel the beat. Come on, dance with me."
Emmett grabbed Brian's hands and led him out onto the dance floor. He positioned them so he could watch the door as they danced. After one song, Emmett spotted Jake and Justin make their way onto the floor. Justin caught Em's eye and they made their way over to them. Justin and Jake started dancing together, grinding and thrusting against one another. Emmett smirked.
Let The Farce commence.
"Uh oh," Emmett muttered, putting all of his acting skills into his performance. Brian caught Emmett looking over his shoulder and turned to see what his gaze had landed on. What he did see made his blood run cold.
Justin, his Justin, with that other guy. The same guy from the diner. The pretty guy. Brian stopped dancing, his arms falling limp at his sides. His eyes remained glued on the train wreck in front of him. He watched Justin's tongue slip into Jake's mouth. He watched Jake's hands slide underneath Justin's tight blue tee shirt. He watched them bump. He watched them grind. He watched them kiss.
He watched it all, and all he saw was Justin looking so deliriously happy.
He wanted to die.
"Fuck," Brian muttered. He watched them longer than his tired eyes could stand. Glitter clung to Justin's skin and Jake's lips sparkled as they sucked at Justin's pale flesh. The brunet shut his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat. He whirled back on Emmett.
"Did you know they were going to be there?" Emmett stayed silent. "Did you?!" Emmett opened his mouth, and then quickly shut it. He shook his head a little and then shrugged, guilt in his eyes.
"Thanks a lot," Brian told him, allowing Emmett to see his vulnerability. He quickly shook it off, slipping the mask in place. "Fuck it. Let's all have a drink."
"What?" Emmett asked in confusion.
"Justin!" Brian called. "Over here!" The blonds looked over and saw Brian waving. They looked at each other, and then made their way to the bar. Brian forced himself to smile.
He was forcing himself not to care.
"Hey Justin," Brian said through clenched teeth as he approached. Justin could see the fury in his eyes, but smiled sweetly at his best friend. He slipped his arm around Jake's torso, feeling the surfer tense up as Brian's harsh eyes landed on him. "Jake."
"Hey Brian," Jake replied, averting his gaze from Brian's beautifully haunted eyes.
"Steve!" Brian called, leaning on the bar to get the bartender's attention. "Four doubles, on me."
The bartended lined up four glasses and poured them as the teens waited. They each grabbed their glass and Brian raised his in the air before knocking back the entire thing.
"Cheers!" He shouted, slamming his glass back on the table. "Steve! Can I get a refill?"
"Sure thing, Brian." The brunet took the glass and emptied it again. He turned back to the group and smiled cheekily, letting the bar hold him up as his knees rebelled against him.
"So " He sighed, his eyes scanning their faces. "Jake. When did you move here?"
"About three weeks ago," Jake replied uneasily. Justin leaned against him, resting his cheek against Jake's shoulder. "I moved from San Diego. Don't ask why. My parents are insane." Emmett laughed and Jake smiled. "I've found one good thing about Pittsburgh, though." Jake kissed Justin's temple and the shorter blond blushed. Brian rolled his eyes.
"Steve! Another."
"Brian, that's three in the last five minutes, not counting the two you had earlier." Emmett informed him.
"I can count. I attended kindergarten." Steve poured him another and he drank it in one gulp, wincing at the burn in his throat. Emmett and Justin shared a look, smirking slightly. Justin leaned over and whispered something in Jake's ear. The taller blond's smile turned into a grin. Brian shut his eyes against the harsh reality of it.
In actuality, Justin was just making noises. He didn't say one intelligible word.
But Brian didn't know that, did he?
These two boys were so spectacularly beautiful that it made Brian feel ill. He saw the ring through the right side of Jake's lip, and then saw a flash of his lips and that metal on Justin's torso in his mind. He shook his head and took a deep breath, clearing the image.
Jake pushed Justin's hair up and pressed his lips against Justin's forehead. The blond giggled and pushed against Jake. Brian closed his eyes and counted to five, remembering a time when Justin only looked at him like that.
"Aren't you two precious?" Brian spouted sarcastically. He slammed back another shot. Emmett slyly slid a bottle of water towards Brian's hand that was resting on the bar and he took it without thinking, drinking from that instead.
Give me tonight
Then if you don't wanna stay
Girl, I'll just forget you
You'll see I'm right
You won't get to go away
Love ain't gonna let you
"Oh Justin, I love this song!" Jake exclaimed. "Dance with me?" Justin kissed Jake's lips softly and nodded. Jake took Justin's hands and led him to the floor. Their arms went around each other and Brian swore he heard something inside of him break. It sounded suspiciously like his heart.
How could something so encased and hidden in rough concrete break like it was made of glass?
He took another drink of his water, swallowed it, and looked down at the bottle with scorn in his eyes. His gaze landed accusingly on Emmett, who rolled his eyes.
"Fine. Sorry I tried to slip you a drink that wasn't alcoholic. Knock back a few more. Steve, a double for Mr. Kinney and a Cosmo for myself, if you please."
"What's going on with those two?" Brian demanded. Emmett merely shrugged. Steve set their drinks down and Emmett took a sip from his. "Tell me."
"I don't know."
Brian growled in frustration at his friend's unwillingness to talk. He looked back at the two blonds engulfed in one another. Jake's hand slid down Justin's back and Brian had to look away. He then looked towards the black and blue abyss that was the entrance to the backroom.
"Fuck this," Brian muttered. He slammed back his drink and made his way towards the backroom. Emmett followed him and grabbed his arm, spinning him around.
"No."
"What?"
"No, Brian!" Emmett shouted. "You aren't going to fuck this away. You're going to deal with it!" Brian stared at him blankly. "I know. What a concept."
"Fuck you." Brian wrenched his arm away from Emmett and scowled at him. He looked back over at Justin and Jake, a hand in each other's hair and smiles on both their faces. His gaze shifted back to Emmett and he swallowed hard. "He looks happy."
"So? Maybe it's all a farce." Brian ran his fingers through his hair and dropped his hand back at his side. "He loves you, Brian Kinney, the stubborn asshole."
"Emmett."
"I don't want to hear it. Go." He pointed towards the blond and gave Brian a look that dared him to argue.
Brian turned back towards the two blonds and stomped towards them, his hands curling into fists. He stopped within inches of them, watching Justin jump when he opened his eyes and saw him so close.
"Brian!" Justin exclaimed, wiping damp hair from bright blue eyes. Jake pulled his tongue away from the expanse of Justin's neck and turned around suddenly.
"This may sound cliché," Brian said sarcastically, "But may I cut in?" Jake looked over at Justin, who nodded. The two blonds disentangled themselves from one another and Jake headed over towards Emmett. A new song started and Brian and Justin danced together, awkwardly at first.
"So " Brian started, straining be heard over that (god damned) thumpa thumpa. "Are you guys like a couple now?" His voice was sarcastic and aloof, but Justin could see the seriousness in his eyes.
Justin always saw behind the mask.
"You always were one to cut the bullshit and go straight to the point," Justin laughed. Brian grabbed Justin's hips and grinded his pelvis against his, moving with the music. The taller boy felt heavy on his feet as the alcohol began to take affect. He ran his fingers through Justin's hair without thinking. He'd always loved Justin's hair. He pressed his lips against Justin's seashell ear, breathing against it and making the smaller boy shudder.
"You didn't answer the question."
*************************************
"Looks like it's going well," Jake commented as he danced with Emmett. The flamboyant teen looked over Jake's shoulder to see for himself.
"No it doesn't," he said flatly. His eyes went back to Jake's face and his arm went over his head as he danced. Jake furrowed his brows in confusion and looked again.
"It doesn't?"
"No," Emmett replied. "You never saw the way they danced before. Sex just fucking dripped from them. You could cum in your pants just from walking by. They just flowed together until they were just one mass of skin, light and dark. They're fucking hot. There was just this raw energy. If you know them like I know them, and you look at them now, all you see is pain and tension. The passion is gone like the light from their eyes."
"You make it sound like they're Romeo and Juliet." Jake told him, holding onto Emmett's hips just a little tighter. Emmett smiled sadly and pulled Jake closer, shaking his head.
"Sometimes I think they are. But unlike those star crossed lovers, the only ones against them are themselves."
*************************************
"Answer me," Brian commanded. His eyes locked on the shiny trail of saliva on Justin's jaw, left by Jake's tongue. Another kick to the heart. He forced himself to look into Justin's eyes. It was too dark, the lights where flashing too many different colors, blue to purple to green to orange and back, and Brian couldn't tell what color his eyes were.
Brian's most reliable insight to Justin was gone.
"Why? Do you give a shit?" Justin retorted, hands not leaving Brian's shoulders. It was so hard to have a conversation with such significance as this one surrounded by tweaked out club kids and loud music. Brian felt the bass thump beneath his ribcage and he took a deep breath, steeling himself. He looked into Justin's eyes and pulled him closer until their chests were flush against each other's.
"Feel that?" Brian asked cryptically, pulling Justin up so that his feet left the floor. He was propped up in Brian's arms, pale artist's fingers clutching to strong tan biceps.
"Feel what?"
"The beat. Our bodies going thump, our hearts going thump, our minds, the music. Everything just going thump thump."
"You're drunk," Justin scolded, but his eyes didn't leave Brian's. He didn't try to get his feet to touch the ground.
His feet hardly ever touched the ground around Brian anyway.
"I am not," Brian replied, knowing full well that the alcohol was seeping into his system. He was already starting to feel numb.
Good.
Brian set Justin back down on the floor and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Justin did the same and rested his face in that perfect spot on Brian's neck. They moved together, each motion fluid and graceful. They stopped thinking and let their bodies do all the work.
Their bodies said what their minds were too stubborn to comprehend, what their mouths wouldn't allow them to say.
They flowed together, hips swaying to the beat, arms around each other. Brian pressed his lips against Justin's forehead and breathed in his scent. Hands explored familiar territory and lips brushed against damp skin apprehensively.
*************************************
"Now it seems to be going well."
"Yeah, I can tell."
*************************************
The song ended and Brian gave Justin a whisper of a kiss. He looked Justin in the eye and sighed, staring until his image grew hazy, shrouded in purple and blue light.
Just like his dream. But in his dream, the music never stopped.
He blinked and kissed the corner of his best friend's mouth, his voice lost somewhere deep in his throat. He stared until his eyes burned with tears he wouldn't allow to the surface.
Justin never looked away.
"You have no idea how much I give a shit, Justin."
The music started again and Justin found himself all alone on the dance floor, watching Brian's back as he slipped out the door.
Return to Something More