Through the Rain

Chapter 8

Justin stared blankly out of the hospital window as he was poked and prodded by various doctors. The sky was so blue. It was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining, making everything glitter and sparkle. Didn't it know that they were dead?

He wanted it to rain and storm and thunder. He wanted the weather to reflect what he felt in his heart.

He wanted everything to be black.

He winced as the doctor checked his stitches. He shut his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat as he remembered the last time he was in a hospital.

He couldn't stand to look at her, but he couldn't look away. She was small, bloody, broken, and bruised. She couldn't look that pale, could she? She looked like she was already gone. She didn't move, no matter how much he begged, she wouldn't wake up.

Open your eyes, Daphne.

He kept his hand flat against her bulging stomach as he cried freely. He didn't notice the doctor walk in. He didn't notice anything except that Daphne wouldn't…open…her…eyes.

"Mr. Taylor?"

No response. More tears.

"Mr. Taylor?" Louder.

Nothing.

The doctor placed his hand on Justin's shoulder. The blond looked up and saw all he needed to know in the doctor's dark eyes.

"Your baby…" he started, clutching his clipboard to his chest as if it would protect him.

"Is gone…" Justin finished. He let his hand slide from Daphne's stomach, feeling something die deep inside of him.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry is bullshit. Did they catch him?"

"The man that hit her? Yes, he was taken into custody without a struggle."

"How can someone drive drunk? How can you get behind the wheel like that? Daphne was just trying to walk home from work. She was just living her life. She didn't do anything wrong." Justin burst into tears again, leaving the doctor to awkwardly pat his shoulder and leave the room.

Justin took Daphne's hand in his and squeezed it, feeling the weak pulse beneath his fingertips.

"I don't know what I'll do if you leave me too."

Daphne died an hour later. Justin wouldn't leave her side until dawn.

Justin sighed and turned his head away from the window.

He had gone through enough to make him hate every beautiful day. He only liked it when it rained.

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Brian held onto his son's hand as he unlocked the front door to Mel and Lindsey's house. He took a deep breath before he took a step inside. Gus looked up at Brian, tears brimming his small hazel eyes.

Brian shut the door and led Gus into the living room. He crouched down until he was eye to eye with his son.

"Gus," he started. The boy locked eyes with him, hanging on every word of his last remaining parent. "I need your help. Can you help me?"

"With what?"

"I need you to help me pack some things up. I need suitcases, and you need to gather up everything you want from your room, all the toys you really like, and all the clothes you really like. Just the stuff you really like. Then make a pile of it on your bed, ok?" Gus nodded and Brian watched him slowly climb the stairs, clutching to the banister with a shaky hand.

It seemed like Gus wanted to be there even less than Brian did.

Brian stood up and looked around the house with sad, remembering eyes. Everywhere he looked was another memory, another needle in his heart.

"Brian! Look! Gus is walking!"

"Come to Daddy!"

Brian slowly trudged up the stairs to help his son. He also needed to pack up Justin's things. He wanted to get out of that house as soon as possible. He needed to.

Brian walked into Gus' room and leaned against the doorframe, watching as he carefully placed his favorite toys in the center of his bed. The look on his face made it seem like he was grateful to have something else to concentrate on.

"Gus?" The boy paused and looked up. "Where did Justin sleep?"

"Jus'n is going to stay with us?" Gus asked.

"Yes he is. So I need to get his stuff."

"He sleeps in the room next to mine. He kept me awake some nights." Brian looked puzzled and walked in the room.

"How?"

"He cries a lot. Almost every night. He would never tell me why he cried. He just said he got sad sometimes. I get sad sometimes too, but I never cry like Jus'n does."

Brian nodded and ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to process this new information. If Justin had a hard life before, he was sure it just got much worse.

He left Gus to perform his task and retrieved a few suitcases from the garage. He left one in front of Gus' door and walked into Justin's room with the other. He opened it and laid it on the bed as he quickly packed Justin's clothes. He didn't have much. He leaned over and pulled open the drawer of the nightstand. He extracted its contents and set them on the bed. On top was a picture of Justin. Justin had his arms around a beautiful girl, a very pregnant beautiful girl.

Brian furrowed his brow as he stared at the photo. Where was this girl now? Where was the baby?

Is this why Justin cried at night?

Brian set the photo aside and quickly started packing Justin's clothes. He didn't pay attention to colors, labels, or materials. He just packed it. It gave him something to do.

Fold neatly. Fold fast. Don't…think…about…it.

"Daddy?" Brian jumped at the sound of Gus' timid voice. He turned and faced his son. The confused and apprehensive look on his small features made Brian's stomach tighten.

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you a question?" Brian gulped. He had a bad feeling about this question. He sat down on the side of Justin's bed and motioned Gus towards him. He picked the small boy up and placed him on his lap.

"What is it?" Brian asked, his voice cracking.

"You said the doctors fixed Jus'n, right?" Gus asked, tugging on the hem of his shirt.

"Yeah…"

"Well, if they fixed Jus'n, why couldn't they fix my mommies too?"

"Um," Brian replied, temporarily dumbstruck. He tried not to cry as he looked into his son's eyes. He looked absolutely confused, heartbroken. "Because, Gus, your mommies were really badly broken. The doctors couldn't fix them. Justin was just a little beaten up. They could put him all back together and make him all better." Gus took a second to think over this information.

"Do you miss them, Daddy?"

Is the sky blue?

"Yes, I miss them very much, and I always will." Gus nodded and rested his forehead against Brian's cheek.

"Me too, Daddy. Me too."

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"Well Justin, are you ready to get out of here?" Dr. Williams asked as he walked into Justin's room. The blond nodded. He was ready. More than ready. Very fucking ready.

"Is Brian here?" Justin asked. The older man was the only person he felt comfortable around, excluding Gus. All day as the doctors and nurses touched him, he wanted to kick and scream and tell them to get the fuck away, but he couldn't.

Now he just wanted to go…home?

He had no home, did he? Was Brian's home his home now?

No, it was just another place to stay. He hadn't had a home since Daphne died. He just had…places to stay.

"Jus'n!" Gus tore into the room and climbed up on Justin's bed. He gave the blond a small hug, little hands carefully clinging to unmarked skin. Gus was very careful. He didn't want to hurt Justin, not at all. The doctor excused himself and left the room.

"Your carriage awaits," Brian joked as he pushed a wheelchair into his room. Justin smiled. He knew they were trying so hard to cheer him up and make him feel comfortable. He loved them for it.

Brian walked over to the hospital bed, nodding towards Justin as a greeting. He picked Gus up and set him down next to the chair.

"I brought some clothes up," Brian said softly, holding up a small overnight bag. "Do you want me to get a nurse or someone to help you?"

"No," Justin protested immediately. "I'm sick of them touching me. I can do it." He sat up and Brian handed him the bag, biting his bottom lip. Justin sat up, wincing with every motion.

Brian understood pride, he understood how it felt to not want to let anyone help you with…anything.

"Do you want us to go outside?" Brian asked. Justin looked up at him and shook his head.

"No, it's alright." He took the pair of sweats from the bag and tried to lean forward to put them over his feet. The motion jarred his stomach and he cried out in pain. Brian grimaced and looked away. He would not help unless he asked.

Gus didn't think the same.

"Jus'n!" He admonished, stepping up to the end of the blond's bed. "Stop it." He placed his hands on his hips and scowled at Justin, who looked shocked. "You are hurt. Let me and Daddy help you!"

Justin looked over at Brian, and they both let out a little laugh.

"I think you better listen to him," Brian warned. Justin nodded. Brian walked over to Justin, unsure of what to do. Justin swung his legs around and Brian put his arm around his waist. Justin slipped his arm around the taller man's shoulders and stood up, wincing and whimpering as his shoulder stretched. He clutched onto Brian as Gus took the sweats and kneeled at Justin's feet. The boy carefully maneuvered each of his feet into the pants. Brian leaned down and pulled the pants up over Justin's hips, being very careful of his stitches. They helped Justin with his shirt and they got him in the wheelchair.

"Can I sit on your lap?" Gus asked Justin. Brian shook his head.

"Justin is hurt, Gus." The boy nodded sadly. Justin looked up at Brian and then back down at Gus.

"Gus, I'll let you ride on my lap if you promise to be really careful and not touch my tummy, ok?" Gus nodded and Brian lifted him up and placed him on Justin's knees. He got behind the chair and wheeled them right out of the hospital.

"C'mon boys," Brian said softly. "Let's go home."

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