Through the Rain

Chapter 4

"Are you sitting down?" Brian asked. He searched himself for the proper way to explain the situation while confirming that Gus was still asleep. He absently stroked his son's hair and took a deep breath, emotions welling up at the surface.

"Brian? What's going on? You're scaring me." Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and felt another hot tear travel down his cheek. He let out a shuddering sigh."Brian?"

"I don't know how to tell you this, Mikey. Something bad has happened, really bad." Brian thought he could stay strong and get through the phone call, but as he talked about it, his breaths grew shorter and faster. His vision grew blurry and his lips quivered as he tried to keep his emotions in check.

"Brian? Tell me."Michael was really scared now. He could hear the pain in Brian's voice. He felt his heart thump against his chest and he clutched the phone tighter.

"Mikey. There was an accident. I'm at the hospital. Mel and Linds," he paused, sniffling and taking a deep breath. "Mel and Linds are dead."

There, he said it. He admitted it out loud. It didn't feel any more possible, any more real. The line on the other end was silent for a long time.

"Dead? I can't believe it."  His voice was soft, tinged with sorrow. Brian let out a sob before he could stop himself. "Where's Gus? Is he alright?"

"Yeah, Gus was in the car with them. Poor kid." Brian looked down at the precious bundle in his arms; his tousled chestnut hair was all that was visible. The rest of his body was enveloped in sky blue fleece, his angelic face buried in Brian's neck. "But he's alright, physically. He's asleep on my lap right now. Can you please just bring us some clothes? Gus needs some clothes."

"Of course. I don't have a key to Mel and Linds's, though."

"Don't go there. Can you just pick some stuff up from the Big Q and I'll reimburse you when you get here?" He closed his eyes and furrowed his brows as he thought over all they would need. "Get some pajamas for Gus. I want him to be comfortable. Just like, some little flannel pants and a tee shirt. And, um, some socks. And a sweatshirt." He paused and sighed again. "And get me a pack of those white v-neck tees." He looked down at the crimson blood staining his white shirt. There was so much on him, just from Gus's clothes. He had thrown Gus's clothes away in the hospital room. They were ruined, soaked in blood.

"Anything else?"  Brian imagined Michael standing there, taking down all the items he was listing off on one of Ben's legal pads, despite the pain he must be feeling. Knowing that there was someone out there that cared for him so much almost made him smile.

Justin. Justin would need new clothes when he woke up.

"Yeah. Get another pack of those tees in small. And some sweats and socks."

"What are those for?"

"Justin, he's-"

"Fuck, Justin was in the car, too?"

"Yeah. You know Justin?"

"Yeah, the girls hired him as a nanny of sorts for Gus awhile back. He's been coming to Sunday dinners. He's a good kid. Is he alright?"

"They seem to think he will be. He almost bled to death. He saved Gus. The car was going to catch on fire and he tore the shit out of himself to save Gus. I owe him everything." Brian clutched Gus tighter as his tears slipped down his cheeks, coating the cell phone in the salty moisture.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, Brian. What hospital are you at?"

"Allegheny General."

"Ok, I'll be right there." Brian flipped the phone closed and slipped it back into his pocket. He wrapped his other arm around Gus and rocked back and forth in the hard plastic chair, tears staining the blanket.

Gus would wake up soon. And he'll ask for his mothers again. 'What the fuck am I going to do?'

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Justin's eyelids fluttered again, this time staying open. He looked around the room, his vision still blurred. He felt dizzy and nauseas. His body was on fire and he smacked his lips from the disgusting taste in his mouth.

"Hey there," a soft female voice whispered. "You're awake. Do you know where you are?"

"Hospital," Justin managed to croak out. It hurt to talk, and that one word seemed to exhaust him even more than he already was.

"Good. Can you tell me your name?"

"Justin Taylor." His words were a little slurred, the nurse noted. But that was just due to the medication in his system.

"The year?" Suddenly there was a bright light in his eye, and a brunette nurse loomed over him.

"2005."

"Who's the president?" The light switched to the other eye.

"George fucking Bush," he responded blandly. The nurse giggled and clicked off the light. Justin immediately let his eyes close, his sore body begging him to go back to sleep.

"You seem alright. How do you feel?"

"Probably as bad as I look." The nurse chuckled and Justin felt himself slipping away from consciousness again.

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Michael walked through the aisles of the familiar Big Q in a daze. Mel and Linds couldn't really be dead, could they? He was supposed to go over there with Ben for dinner the next night. Thank god Ben was asleep. He didn't think he could tell anyone the news he'd just received.

He wandered into the boy's section and picked out some plain warm pajamas for Gus, tossing them along with a pair of socks into the basket he was clutching in his left hand.

He looked down at the list in his hand. Sweater. He put a fluffy blue sweater in the basket. He walked along the aisles in a daze, on autopilot. Images of Melanie and Lindsay flashed before his eyes. Talking, laughing, smiling.

Dead? Michael shook his head before moving on to the men's section. He tossed Brian's tees into the basket, along with clothes for Justin.

Justin. The poor kid thought he had finally found happiness, but now. Now it was all gone again.

Michael hadn't realized he had been crying until he looked up and saw an elderly woman looking at him with motherly concern. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and gave her a weak smile before continuing down the aisle.

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"Who would have thought…you and me…parents?"

"Pretty scary boys and girls."

Brian's eyes snapped open and he wiped them with the palm of his hand, disposing of the tears. He looked down at Gus. That's when he remembered he had signed his rights away. What would happen to Gus?

As if on cue, Gus opened his sleepy hazel eyes and stared up at his father. He smiled, but the gorgeous little smile quickly disappeared when he saw the tears staining his father's cheeks. He wormed his arm out of the blanket and wiped the tears away, concern flooding his features.

"Dada sad?" He asked, still cupping his father's cheek. Brian took the little hand in his own and squeezed it. He swallowed back another sob and gave the boy a little smile.

"Yes, Daddy is sad."

"I'm sorry, Dada." Gus perked up and looked around the unfamiliar space, scrunching his nose up in confusion. "Where are we? Where are my mommies?"

There it was again, the question. Brian knew he had to tell him. But how? Not in front of all these people. He bundled Gus back up in the blanket and took him outside. He sat them down on a bench in a quiet little alcove, hidden from the world.

"Gus, I have something I need to tell you," Brian said softly. He looked down at Gus. The boy was sitting on his knee looking up at him, the blue blanket wrapped around head, the little face so much like Brian's sticking out. His large hazel eyes were staring up at him curiously. It was almost too much to bear.

"What is it Dada?"

"Gus, your mommies are gone." There, he said it. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them, Gus was still staring at him.

"Gone where?" The boy started squirming around on Brian's lap, looking all around, as if his moms were just hiding. Brian sighed, feeling his heart clench once more.

"Gus, I wish it weren't true, but they died." Brian watched confusion arise in his precious son's eyes, and it hurt him even more.

"They died?" Brian nodded and held Gus tighter. "But I had a goldfish named Zippy, and it mommy told me it died. Zippy never came back. Mommy and Mama are coming back right?"

Gus's eyes were so hopeful. He wanted something Brian couldn't give him. He wanted his mommies. Brian felt more tears slip from his already sore eyes. A sob escaped his lips, a noise somewhere between a choke and a scream. Gus's eyes began to water at this point, his face showing signs of panic. He tugged at the lapels of Brian's coat as the tears brimming his eyes cascaded down his cheeks.

"Daddy!" He tugged on Brian's coat hard enough to make Brian look at him. "When are they coming back?"

"They aren't coming back, Gus. They're gone." Gus searched his father's eyes, taking in the tears, the pain. He never saw that in his father's eyes. It scared him. He looked down and noticed the blood staining Brian's shirt, dried and cracking. Gus shut his eyes.

"Gus, we need to get out of here now!"

He opened his eyes. His father was still crying, the blood was still on his shirt. He hopped off of Brian's lap, the blanket still wrapped around him. He got a whole three steps away before long, strong arms encircled his tiny frame. He cried out in protest and squirmed, trying to elude Brian's strong grasp.

"No! Let me go!" Gus screamed. He kicked at Brian, his little foot hitting him right in the groin. Brian blanched from the pain, but didn't loosen his hold on Gus. "Let me go! I'm going to go find them!"

"Gus, stop it!" Brian yelled. "They're gone, Gus. Listen to me." Gus stopped punching at Brian's chest and looked up at him. His eyes were already puffy and red from the amount of tears spilling from them. One look at Gus's distraught face broke Brian's heart even more.

"They're really gone?" Brian nodded. "They aren't coming back?" Brian shook his head, incapable of forming words. Gus began to sob into Brian's neck, clutching to his father for dear life. Brian cried into Gus's fine, baby soft hair. He rocked his son back and forth, both of them sobbing for love and life lost.

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Author's Note: Thanks to everyone for sticking with me through this chapter, especially Kami for threatening to take my title of cool away unless I finished it.

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