Bleeding Emotions

Chapter 13

Justin stared out of the plate glass window of the coffee shop, lost in his thoughts. Rain pounded against the glass, the wind making it rattle in its frame. Justin's eyes followed the rivets, without really knowing what he was seeing. A gentle hand on his shoulder broke him from his thoughts.

"We're closing up, kiddo," the older woman told him softly. Justin sniffed and blinked away an unshed tear. He nodded and stood up. "I hate to kick you out into the rain like this. I can give you a ride somewhere if you want, Justin."

"No, no thanks." Sue's heart broke as she watched the broken young man in front of her. Every day he would come in, order a coffee, and stare out of the window overlooking the city and the sea. She never once saw him smile. Not once. He would stare, or sketch, or read. He would only talk to her, never anyone else.

"Why don't you go home?" She asked him. He looked at her with sad eyes.

"I am. It's just up the street."

"No, not where you sleep at night. Go <b>home</b>, Justin." He looked up at her and swallowed hard.

"I can't," he choked out. She smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Then go back and make yourself a new one." He looked up at her, with a strong jaw and determined eyes. For the first time ever, she saw him smile.

She never saw Justin again.

When Justin opened his eyes, a cloud of black swallowed him. It was so dark. He was hot, sticky, sweaty, weighted down. Brian's hair tickled his shoulder. Brian's breath warmed his chest. Brian was everywhere.

Justin wanted to run away and pull Brian closer.

He wanted to never see him again and kiss him forever.

He wanted to love him.

He didn't have a clue what he wanted.

All he knew was, if Brian made that sleep induced whimper against his chest one more time, he was never letting go.

Then Brian whimpered again.

Justin felt the fluttering of feather light eyelashes against his skin before he had the time to sort out his thoughts. Brian's eyes found his even in the dark, curious hazel meeting apprehensive blue.

"Hey," Brian whispered, breaking the silence. His eyes flickered from Justin's eyes to his lips and back, silently begging for the permission that Justin so desperately wanted to give him.

A kiss can mean so much.

A kiss can mean a future. A kiss can mean a tear. A kiss can mean uncertainty, pain, contentment, fear, and happiness. So much can happen the moment two pairs of lips meet.

As Brian's lips lingered so close to his, Justin thought about the last boy he kissed. That kiss meant death.

What would this kiss mean?

Justin swallowed hard and Brian ran his fingertips along his cheek. Justin's tongue darted out to wet his lips.

Could he risk it?

His weekend to forget was over. From the moment he met Brian, he refused to think about his past. Now, his past had come back to slap him in the face, and he was scared.

Did his fear overcome his desire to feel Brian's lips against his again?

Not if he could help it.

"Can I kiss you?" Brian asked in a voice that was almost as apprehensive as Justin's expression. The blond nodded softly. "You look scared."

"I am," he admitted in a whisper.

"Of what?"

"Us." A long time passed as they stared into each other's eyes. Brian gently stroked Justin's cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"Me too," Brian whispered against Justin's lips.

The kiss was all softness and grace. They spilled their emotions into each other and held on for dear life.

"I will never hurt you," Brian told him, eyes glassy with unshed tears. Justin smiled wistfully.

"You can't promise that," came Justin's hushed reply. Brian stared into the blue pools and gave him a tiny smirk.

"I can sure as hell try."

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"Where are you going?" Justin asked as Brian rolled out of his arms the next morning.

"I have to go to school," Brian said with a scowl. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep. Justin took in the bruises marring his skin, looking even angrier in the morning sunlight.

"Then what?" Brian stood up straight at this question. He was currently homeless. That realization hit him harder than a kick from his father.

"I…I don't know. I can't go home. Shit." Justin made a snap decision, getting out of bed quickly. He rested his forehead between Brian's shoulder blades and ran his fingertips up his sides.

"You're going to stay here." Brian whipped around and Justin rubbed his nose from the friction.

"I wouldn't impose on you like that," Brian replied.

"Who would be imposing? I want you here," Justin told him. "I have an extra bedroom, if for someone reason you would want to sleep in there."

Brian raised an eyebrow and smiled before gathering the small blond into his arms. He placed a firm kiss to his forehead and smiled against his warm skin.

"Okay," he whispered. Justin smiled and maneuvered Brian back towards the bed. He laid them down on it and covered Brian with a blanket. The brunet yawned and glanced up at Justin. "What are you doing?"

"Making you go back to sleep," Justin replied.

"Can't," Brian argued weakly. "School."

"Not today. Today you rest."

"Mmm…kay."

"Work today?" Brian nodded, his eyes still closed.

"Four to eleven." Justin nodded and leaned over, kissing Brian's lips softly.

"Sleep."

"Yes." Justin watched Brian until his breathing evened out. He looked so beautiful as he slept. He padded over to the phone in the living room and dialed a forever familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Debbie? It's Justin. Did I wake you?"

"Sunshine! No, you didn't. What's up?"

"Well, I have one of your busboys here, and I don't think he should come in today. Or maybe for the next few days."

"What the hell are you talking about? Which busboy?" Debbie asked, genuinely confused. Justin smiled.

"Brian. He's here asleep. He's banged up pretty bad. I'm sure you out of all people know about his dad?" Justin asked, twirling the phone cord around his fingers.

"Shit. Yeah, I know. Is he alright?"

"He'll be fin-"

"Hold on a god damn minute. How did you meet Brian? When? Why is he at your apartment at eight in the morning? Oh my god. Did you two fuck? You would make the perfect couple."

"Debbie."

"This is so-"

"Debbie! We met at his show on Friday and kind of hit it off. I'll tell you all about it later. I just wanted to tell you that Brian can barely stand up straight, let alone bus tables."

"That's fine. Tell him to take all the time he needs. I wish someone would knock some sense into his fucking father."

"Yeah," Justin agreed, feeling his blood boil at just the thought of the elder Kinney.

"You take care of him Sunshine."

"I will."

"Okay, later kiddo."

"Bye." Justin hung up the phone with a soft click and retrieved two small pain pills and a glass of water from the kitchen. He walked back into the bedroom and knelt at Brian's side.

"Hey," the blond whispered, gently shaking Brian awake.

"Hmm?"

"Take these." The brunet's eyes opened and his hand snaked out under the covers. He took the pills and patted the bed next to him.

"In," he commanded with a goofy grin. Justin smiled back and crawled under the covers. Brian immediately took him in his arms and they fell asleep together in a pile of tired limbs and naked skin.

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Graham and Juliana walked hand in hand into their Chemistry class and sat down next to Michael and Lindsay. The raven-haired teen immediately noticed the absence of their other friend.

"Where's Brian?" Graham asked. Michael and Lindsay looked at each other and shrugged.

"We haven't seen him," Lindsay replied.

"Weird," said Graham. "He never misses class."

"Unless…" Michael said softly.

"Unless what?"

"Unless his dad beat the shit out of him." The four of them all looked at each other with worried expressions.

"Shit," Graham uttered. Then the teacher began to take roll, and there was nothing they could do until after class.

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Justin woke up to the ringing of a cell phone. He located the aggravating object on the floor next to the bed, picked it up, and answered it.

"Hello?" He answered groggily.

"Who is this?" A girl answered hotly. Justin scowled and sat up in bed.

"No, who is this? You called me."

"No, I called Brian. Why do you have his phone?" Justin pulled the cell phone away from his ear only to realize that it indeed wasn't his phone. He chuckled and brought the phone back to his ear.

"Lindsay I presume. This is Justin. I met you on Friday. I'm sorry. I was sleeping and thought this was my phone. Brian is right here. Let me wake him up."

"Justin. Hi!" Lindsay replied, her voice changing from aggressive to sugary sweet in the blink of an eye.

"My don't we sound chipper all of a sudden?" Justin teased.

"Sorry, we were just worried about Bri. He never misses school unless his, well, unless something bad happens. But now we know a certain blond is keeping him sequestered away," she laughed.

"Something like that. Hold on." Justin rolled over and gently shook Brian awake. The brunet lifted his head and Justin held out the phone. "Kinney Search Party on the line."

"Hello?" Brian said into the phone.

"What happened with you and Justin! Tell me!"

"No."

"Wank!"

"Hi Graham."

"Why didn't you tell us you were getting bloody shagged?"

"It's not what you think."

"Liar."

"Loser."

"Brian Kinney's cherry is all goooone!"

"I'm hanging up now."

"Yeah to go have more hot heavy man sex!"

"You do realize you're straight."

"Yeah. And?" Brian rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Thanks for caring, mate. I'm fine. I'll talk you later." Brian hit end and laughed as he placed the phone on the nightstand.

"You've got some awesome friends," Justin told him as he rolled on his side to face him.

"Yeah," Brian replied. "They're great."

Justin watched Brian closely. He studied the way his eyelashes barely touched his cheek, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the way his hair shone in the sunlight.

Yes, he was completely enamored with this younger man. Three days earlier he wouldn't commit to a pair of socks, but now he was completely captivated by him, and wasn't sure he could function properly without his presence.

That scared him more than anything.

"What are you thinking about?" Justin asked, breaking the silence that had settled like a heavy fog around them. Justin wanted to hear Brian speak. He loved the way is voice tumbled out of his mouth in harsh, throaty tones. His accent made Justin tremble with desire.

"Last night," Brian replied cryptically, his eyes trained on an invisible spot on the ceiling.

"What about last night?" Justin asked, staring at Brian as he stared up. The brunet was silent for a long time, contemplating his answer.

"About what we did," he breathed. "How I treated you. It wasn't right." Justin's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. He shook his head and scooted closer to Brian.

"What do you mean?"

"I could have hurt you. Did I?" Justin suddenly realized what he was talking about. He sighed and placed his hand on Brian's chest.

"I won't say I'm not a little sore, but I would be anyhow. We were both too far gone. Too much adrenaline. Too much everything. I'm fine," Justin assured him. Brian finally turned his head to lock eyes with Justin.

"That's not how I wanted it to happen," he whispered. Justin nodded and threaded his fingers in Brian's silky hair. He kissed the younger man tenderly, craving him.

"I know," he replied in a hushed tone.

"I want to make love to you. I want to do it right." Brian pressed his lips against Justin's and kissed him passionately, pulling the smaller man flush against his body. He rolled on top of Justin, but his sore muscles protested the action, making him cry out in pain.

"Okay," Justin said, rolling Brian back onto his back. "You rest."

"I don't want to. I want to be inside of you." Justin smiled and kissed him again.

"I have no doubts that you will be. But for now, you let me do the work." Brian looked up at him with wide, curious eyes that fluttered shut as Justin placed soft kisses along his face, exploring every curve and dip, committing each feature to memory.

He moved lower, softly tonguing the hollow of Brian's throat, making him sigh with delight. Justin spent time on each bruise, old and new. He treated them with broad swipes of his warm tongue and wet, open mouth kisses. He heard Brian's content sighs and continued his treatment.

By the time he had reached Brian's hips, the younger man was fast asleep, the smile on his face knocking the last bit of concrete off of Justin's heart.

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