Truth Be Told
Part Seven
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About an hour later Justin returned to the waiting room, slowly walked over to Craig.
“Would you stay with Molly, while I go see Mom?”
“Of course.”
“Please don’t upset her. She’s been sleeping so I haven’t told her about Mom. If she wakes up just tell her that Mom’s out of surgery but she’s still pretty sick. No details.”
“She’s my daughter, Justin. I know what she needs,” Craig said sternly.
“I guess this isn’t going to work,” sighed Justin. “Deb, would you sit with Molly for a bit.”
“Sure Sunshine.”
“I can go,” countered Craig.
“No, you’d just upset her.”
Craig’s face flared and he grabbed Justin by the arm. “I said I …”
Brian got up and started toward the two of them but Ben got there first.
“Mr. Taylor, let him go,” ordered Ben, towering over Craig.
Justin pulled free and rubbed his temple.
“Are you okay?” questioned Brian, concerned.
“Yeah,” Justin sighed.
“Oh Sunshine, come here,” Deb said, pulling him into a hug. Justin almost collapsed into her arms.
At the door, Ethan hesitated but entered anyway. Justin straightened, “I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you now.”
“How’s your Mom?”
“Like you fucking care,” snapped Justin.
“I brought these,” Ethan said, holding a bottle of pills. “I thought you might need one.”
Justin grabbed the bottle. “Bye.”
Ethan’s disappointment showed but he didn’t move. “I’m sorry, Justin.”
“Ethan, please. I can’t deal with you right now. We’ll talk later Bye.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Slowly, Justin made his way to the fountain. He shook several pills out of the bottle, and placed them in his mouth. He bent to get a drink.
“Fuck.” Brian yelled as he rushed to the fountain. “What the hell are you doing? SPIT THEM OUT.”
“Huh?”
“Now,” instructed Brian.
Justin spit them into his hand. Brian grabbed the bottle and read the label.
“You’re only supposed to take two of these at a time. You have five in your hand.”
“I started taking double doses when it’s really bad. I don’t have time for it tonight,” answered Justin. He then took the pills with a big gulp of water.
“Justin”
“If you think I am going to listen to Brian Kinney lecture me about drugs, you’re even more fucked up than even you think you are,” interrupted Justin.
Brian couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m going to the ICU now,” Justin said, looking scared.
Daphne stood up, “I’ll walk with you.”
“I’ll be with Molly,” said Deb, giving him a quick hug.
After they left, Emmett turned to Brian, “he looks so scared.”
“He is,” answered Brian.
“He’s strong,” offered Ted.
“By what Ethan said, it sounds like he was barely hanging on before tonight,” Lindsay said worriedly.
“Poor kid. He’s been through so much. I still don’t understand why he’s not in therapy,” wondered Ben.
“He didn’t want to go, so we didn’t force him,” answered Brian.
“He should have been encouraged to go. He seems to have symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I don’t spend that much time with him, but considering the major changes in his life in the last two years, adding the bashing plus almost losing his art, and on top of everything else, he is in love with a man whose emotional development is more stunted than his own. It’s a wonder he can get himself out of bed in the morning.”
“Thank you, Dr. Bruckner,” smirked Brian.
“My masters is in psychology. I know a little about it. And Justin has been floundering since I met him. I tried to talk to him about it a few times. The first time, he opened right up about the bashing. He said, ‘no one wants to talk about it, so he never gets the chance’.”
“He said the same thing to me when we were working on Rage,” Michael offered quietly.
“I understand, even he understands why none of you want to talk about it. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need to. A therapist could have helped.”
“He had a psychologist while he was in the hospital and rehab. After he moved in with me, I talked to a psychologist friend about his panic attacks, nightmares and fear of being touched.”
“What did he say?” Asked Mel.
“This was before he remembered anything about that night. Tom said that until he remembered what happened, he would always feel fear and isolated. So, I did everything I could think of to trigger his memory, Daphne and I recreated the prom. We talked. I even took him to the parking garage but he ended up comforting me because it didn’t bother him, but I fell apart.”
“What finally triggered it?” asked Ben.
“Gus’ birthday party. He got a little foam bat and he was swinging it around. I turned to look at Justin, he was pale, shaking and kept flinching like it was happening over and over again.”
“What did you do?”
“I held him until he calmed down enough to breathe almost regularly. Then, I got him to take the anti-anxiety pills. We went home and he slept for eight hours without a nightmare. When he woke up, he was better.”
“Better how?” asked Lindsay.
“He wanted to make love and he let me hold him while he slept.”
Ted, Michael and Emmett exchanged looks when Brian said “make Love” instead of fucking or sex.
“Did the nightmares come back?” asked Ben.
“Not that night but yeah. He used to have them every night,” explained Brian.
“More than one a night?”
“At first it was every two hours.”
“What about his doctors, they had to have been concerned?” Ben questioned.
“They prescribed sleeping pills but he hated them. They’d knock him right out. He said it was like waking up from the coma all over again. He’d be dizzy, confused and nauseous.”
“God! This could be considered malpractice. What other symptoms?” Ben asked, quite concerned.
“He hated to be in crowds and didn’t want
to leave the loft. Slowly, I got him go out. The first three times, we
didn’t even make it out of the building. Then we’d go to the end
of the block, then around the block. After awhile, he’d go to the diner.
It was like there where places that didn’t bother him as much. He was
more comfortable on
“How long did it take him to get over it? Or has he?” Ben wondered.
“We were on a schedule he had to be independent by the time school started. I guess I pushed a little, but the more progress he made, the more he pushed himself.”
“In the beginning, I’d stand at one end of the block or street and he would meet me. Soon, he’d go by himself.”
“What about school?”
“He was a lot better by then. We went to the campus a few times beforehand, so he’d be comfortable. The problem was his hand, the tremors were quite bad and he couldn’t draw for more than a few minutes at a time. The Dean questioned his ability to stay, so he quit.”
“After working so hard to get to that point, it must have shattered him,” said Ben.
“He was,” Emmett said, sadly.
“He joined the Brian Kinney pain management program and started drinking, tricking and taking drugs,” offered Ted.
“That was only some of the time, the rest of it he would just sit and stare either out the window, at that ugly painting or even at nothing at all, He wasn’t eating, he wasn’t talking, hell, he wasn’t even crying.”
“All symptoms of depression,” offered Ben.
“I know.”
“You should,” answered Ben pointedly.
“Was he suicidal?”
“No, he was understandably upset,” Michael said. “But don’t get carried away.”
“He’d never do that, he’s too strong,” Ted added.
“He was just scared and confused,” said Melanie.
“I don’t think it got that bad,” replied Vic. “It might have with time.”
“I’ve noticed you haven’t said anything,” Ben said, looking at Brian. “Was he suicidal?”
“I know he thought about it…He talked about it a few times…Sort of…”
“Sort of?”Asked Ben.
“He said things like ‘I wish I never woke
up’ or
‘
“I assume he was taking a lot of medication.”
“More than he’d need to…It scared me enough that after he fell asleep, I would only leave enough pills in each bottle for the next day.”
“He had to notice, what you did, was he angry or defensive?”
“He never said anything. Then I told him if he wasn’t in school, he had to work. So he went back to the diner. I really didn’t care about the money. I just didn’t want him alone all day. At least, Deb could keep an eye on him.”
“I could keep an eye on who?” asked Deb, as she returned to the room with Daphne.
“Who’s with Molly?” Craig asked.
“Justin. They only let him visit for a few minutes,” explained Daphne.
“Let’s get coffee and sandwiches,” said Ted, nudging Emmett.
“We’ll help,” offered Ben. “Brian, we’ll discuss this again…Soon.”
“Is Justin okay? How’s Jennifer?” Brian asked.
“I think he feels a little better. She looks surprisingly good, all things considered.”
“You went in with him?”
“I stuck my head in for a minute.”
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