More Repercussions
Part 9
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"That is completely unacceptable Brian. Without at least a little planning
this wedding will never work," explained Deb.
"Okay, I give up. If I don't, you guys will just go ahead without me. If
we leave it up to Emmett, we'll end up wearing coordinating lavender and
lilac tuxes with lace collars."
"Oh, that will
"
"Never happen." Brian snapped.
"We should probably start with a guest list. Who do you want to be there?"
He asked his young fiancé.
"You."
"Besides me."
"Brian, I don't know how to answer that. I think we want different things.
There is a part of me that wants this to be just the two of
us. Since I know that
is what you want. So, let's just do that."
"Justin, you have to tell me what you want. We agreed last night that we
have to communicate more."
"Honestly, I would like our friends and family to be there. I know its
a lot to ask of them to travel, but I would like someone there. I'm assuming
we have to have witnesses, so why not have them be people we know. You know
no one is going to believe that YOU got married without proof."
"That's true. Okay, tell me everyone you want to be at the wedding and we'll
start from there."
"Mom, Molly, Deb, Vic, Daph."
"That's it?" Asked Brian. "What about Emmett, Lindsay,
Mel, Gus?"
"Of course, but I know you and pretty soon I am going to
go too far. Then you'll lose your temper and leave. I won't see you
until you come back tonight drunk and horny as hell."
Brian sighed, "I haven't done that in a long time and certainly not when
you are sick."
"Yes, but this is more stress than you've been under in a long time. I know
this is not your idea of a good time."
"First of all, planning this, hell, even actually doing it, is no where near
as stressful as watching you suffer. So let's stop the games." Brian picked
up a pen. "Jennifer, Molly, Deb, Vic, Daphne, Lindsay, Gus." Brian paused
and gave Mel a smirk. "Mel, Emmett. I suppose it's not a party without a
stick-in-the mud so Ted."
"What about Michael and Ben?" Justin asked quietly.
"I think I'll have to talk to Michael first," answered Brian. "But
if
this is going to turn
into a mini traveling circus, maybe Cynthia could join us. It might be good
to have a witness from Vanguard there in case there are questions later.
Plus she works for me, so I will have at least one person there who will
listen to me."
Justin laughed, "I think it's hilarious that she lets you believe that you
are in control."
"I know. She's like you that way," said Brian kissing him.
"So that's either thirteen or fifteen people."
"What about your mother and sister?" Jen asked.
"There is no way in hell or anywhere else for that matter, that Joan would
be present at such an `abomination'. If they show it is the only way that
I will get angry and leave, but I'll take you with me," he smiled at
Justin.
"Then I guess we should decide what the two of you are going to wear."
"Emmett, I already told you, I will not wear one of your ridiculous
creations."
"Yeah, why can't we wear our everyday clothes?"
"I am not marrying you if you are wearing cargo pants. We'll go shopping
together. I have been wanting to get you a good
suit. This is the perfect reason. My tailor is going to love you."
"Clothes, check," said Lindsay looking at her list.
"I find it more than a little ironic that the two of you think you can plan
our wedding when you couldn't even plan your own," smiled Brian.
"Fuck you, asshole." Mel snapped.
"That's the thanks I get for saving your perfect day from certain
disaster."
"Flowers?" Lindsay said trying to get them both
back on track.
"No flowers."
"Brian, I know you might think they are a little girly, but we've had this
discussion before. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean Justin doesn't.
If I recall correctly, you didn't listen to me and lived to regret it," reminded
Mel.
"Justin is allergic to flowers. The ones you had at the brunch for Lindsay's
parents awhile back had him sneezing for two days."
"Music," Daphne said, trying to move things along. She could see Justin was
starting to tire.
"Do you two have a song?" Jennifer asked.
"Not really," answered Justin.
"They have several actually," explained Emmett.
"What the fuck are you talking?" Brian groaned.
"Well, there's Let's Hear It For the Boy by
Katty B. That was the song that was playing when
Justin first made it clear that he was more than Brian could handle."
"Then there's Forever Young which was when Brian made sure Justin didn't
throw his dreams away to please others. Oh, and High School Confidential
by Carole Pope. You were amazing that night baby. I still can't believe
that
"
Justin's eyes grew wide, Emmett was going to reveal
to his mother that he had participated and won the King of Babylon competition.
"EMMETT," he interrupted.
"What?"
Justin looked from his friend to his mother and then shook his head.
"Oh, right," Emmett laughed.
"I think I am missing part of the story," said Jennifer curiously. "You can't
believe what? What is significant about that song?"
"Uh
Oh
Well, that was the night that
Justin, ah
" Emmett tried to explain.
"Taught me not to take him for granted," answered Brian.
"What about Save the Last Dance?" Daphne asked quietly.
"No," Brian responded just as quietly. "Bad
memories."
"It's not the song or the dance that is the bad memory but what came
after."
"You remember it?"
"I get flashes, they are starting to fit together," smiled Justin.
Brian sat in quiet reflection while everyone else continued with the planning.
The planners thought he was listening.
I can't believe he is going along with all of this thought Em.
"Oh my God, we forgot the food," exclaimed Deb.
Her shriek brought Brian's attention back to the task at hand.
"After we know for sure where it is going to happen.
I will have Cynthia reserve us a table at the restaurant in the area." Only
then did Brian notice that Justin had fallen asleep leaning against him.
He looked at him and smiled.
Ben hung up the phone and joined Michael at the table. "That was Brian. He
wants to talk to us. He'll be here soon."
"Both of us?" Michael asked surprised. "I'll get
another plate, will Justin be with him?"
"Yes, he wants to talk to both of us and no, Justin will not be with him.
It sounds important."
"I wonder what it could be? Maybe he's coming to
his senses and realizes what he did the other day. `Brian Fucking Kinney'
getting married. What a joke!" Michael said as he got up to retrieve a plate
from the kitchen and unlock the door.
"Michael, I don't think he was kidding and I believe that he has every intention
of going through with the marriage."
"It's just because he still feels so guilty about the bashing. Since Justin's
condition is related to that, Brian feels like he has to fix it. Guilt,
responsibility, obligation, and pity are the driving forces behind this."
"I am sure that is all a part of it, but only because he loves Justin," replied
Ben.
"Yeah, right!"
"Michael, I have tried very hard to stay out of the twisted knot that is
your friendship with Brian. However, I feel I should say something at this
point or you might unwittingly alienate your best friend."
"Why? Because you know Brian so much better than I do."
"No, but I know him differently
"
"I can't believe you are throwing the fact that you slept with him in my
face," Michael interrupted.
"What I mean is I see him objectively, where you certainly don't. For some
reason, you still see him as the wounded hero that helped you get through
high school. Are you the same person you were in high school?"
"No. I was too weak and scared to stand up for myself," admits
Michael.
"Why have you allowed yourself to grow and change, but begrudge Brian doing
the same?"
"I don't do that."
"Yes, that is exactly what you're doing. Brian is acting like a mature
responsible loving man where Justin is concerned, but you are constantly
belittling that fact and attributing it to guilt. That's not fair to either
of them."
"You mean it's not fair to Justin," mumbled Michael.
"I think it's time you examine why you dislike Justin. He is one of the nicest,
most principled people I know. I respect him very much."
"I don't dislike him. I'm just as upset as everyone else that he's sick.
Actually, he's who I am trying to protect. Brian is not going to be a happy
married person."
"Of course not, his husband-to-be is seriously ill and requires brain surgery.
The problem you have with this is that you are jealous of Justin for two
reasons. The obvious one is that he was brave enough to go after Brian and
special enough to win him over. The other reason you are jealous is because
he's stronger than you are. Don't get me wrong, I love you more than anything.
From what you and others have told me, you are standing up for whom and what
you are a lot
more now. I know that it's not an easy thing to do. I wasn't completely out
to the world until my late twenties, either. I think I am a fairly strong
person and being positive has made me even more so, but I am jealous of Justin's
strength too. I never would have had the balls to come out in high school
like he did. Then he didn't just accept the crappy treatment he got because
of it, he tried to help others. I asked him once if he wished he'd never
come out at school."
"What did he say?" Brian asked.
"When did you get here?" Michael whined, as he whipped around to face his
best friend.
"A little while ago, I didn't let on because I wanted to hear what the two
of you really think of the whole situation. I'm pretty sure I know what Justin
said but please continue Ben."
"He said that the simple answer to that question is no because he couldn't
live a lie."
Brian smiled.
"I asked him what the more complicated answer was and he said that as a result
of all of it, everyone he cares about was hurt in some way. He told me he
lost one family but was lucky enough to gain another."
"He has so much guilt about his parents getting divorced and the affect that
has had on Molly. He blames himself for that."
"Really?" Michael asked shocked.
"It's like Daphne said the other day, there's enough blame to go around."
"Tell me about it," sighed Michael.
"You? What did you do? Except being an asshole to
him, nothing was your fault."
"There were a few times I could have done things differently that might have
prevented the bashing."
"Like what?" Ben asked, confused.
"I should have taken him home the night Gus was born. You were too high to
think clearly and he was too in awe of you."
"It's probably the most selfish thought I've ever had and let's face it,
that's saying something for me, but I am so thankful you didn't."
"What?" Michael gasped. "You would have been free of all of this
Your life would never have changed. You would still
be carefree."
"Obviously, I never wanted him to get hurt, but that night was a turning
point for me. I spent the next two years fighting it but it's like my heart
was smashed open that night and they both snuck in. He's a part of me in
a way that I can't explain. I don't even understand the how, the why, or
even the extent of it."
Ben could actually see the truth sinking in with Michael. Finally!
"You are really happier with him than without?" Michael asked, trying to
confirm his new understanding.
"Yes, more than I ever thought possible."
"Okay," Michael relented. "What did you want to talk to us about?"
"All the girls, including Emmett came to the loft to plan the wedding."
"Really," said Michael before he burst out laughing.
"It was awful, but decisions where eventually made. We decided on
"Did you decide on the date?" Ben asked.
"Yes, Friday."
"It looks like everyone is going to turn this into some kind of traveling
freak show. Justin wants the family there. Mikey, you are my best friend
and I would really like you to be there and be my best man."
"Of course, Brian, I wouldn't miss it."
"There's a condition Mikey. If you can't be supportive then I will have to
ask you to stay here. The next year is going to be incredibly hard for Justin
and me. I don't have time for you undermining our relationship or making
Justin feel like shit by the insensitive things you say. I want you to take
the next few days to really think about it. I love you like a brother and
we will always be friends, but if you can't get past this, we'll have to
take a little break to focus on more important things."
"Brian."
"NO! I have never been more serious about anything I have ever said to you.
Between now and Friday I want you to figure out if you can be the kind of
friend that I am going to need. If you can't, grow up and tell me the truth
and we will go our separate ways for a while. Some time down the road when
things settle down everything will work out between us, they always do. There
is only one thing that can destroy our friendship at this point and it isn't
Justin and I getting married. It's if you pretend to be okay with this, but
aren't and continue with the snide comments. I know you think I don't hear
them, I have heard every single one of them. I just didn't say anything because
I didn't want to be put in the middle of the two of you. I am here to tell
you that it stops right now. Don't do it again, because
you aren't going to like my choice."
"If you decide that you can be there for me AND Justin then we'd love the
two of you to meet us in front of my building at nine on Friday morning to
join the expedition north."
"I love him," Brian whispered and gave Michael a kiss on the mouth, then
turned to leave the apartment.
"Ben."
"Brian," Ben smiled as he returned the greeting. He grabbed his gym bag and
kissed his lover. "I'm going to work out. You have a lot to think about."
Michael stood shocked that Brian had actually said the words out loud.
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