For Love of Justin

It's In His Kiss

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“What the fuck was that?” Michael’s face was bright red as his furious question to Ben broke the long silence that followed Brian’s startling action. He didn’t even notice Ellie hustling the three other runners away. Debbie was sufficiently distracted by the drama being enacted by her son to miss the others leaving; she was too busy trying to add her two cents’ worth to her son’s argument. Lindsay was only momentarily distracted by Brian’s ploy. She soon went back to berating Melanie over being in a televised press conference and not saying a word to her about it.
The young people didn’t need to hear adults behaving so badly after the meeting had ended on such a high note, Ellie reasoned to herself as she ushered the three wide-eyed runners out a side door. Carl, however, saw them sneaking off, and quietly stepped away from the escalating altercations to stop the escapees halfway down the hallway that led to the exit.

“Ellie!” he called just loudly enough to get her attention. “If you’re heading back to your house with the kids, I want you to go with one of the officers and a squad car escort.”

The older woman looked back at Carl, her hawk nosed face grim. “I think I can manage to get these young folk safely out to my home without a guard, Carl. My grandson will be there and his partner promised to look in on us later. Besides, I have one of my late husband’s guns. He believed in peaceful protest backed up with a bit of protection, you see....” She winked at the runners as Carl groaned.

George, Kelsey and Daphne grinned at each other. They were sure that Ellie was more than a match for any homophobe.

Carl tried again. “The last thing I want is you shooting one of my officers by mistake, Ellie. I spoke to the chief about assigning your grandson, Mann, to the detail out at your place and I’m sure he’ll agree to it. For now, we’ve won permission to have a twenty-four hour detail on your place in light of these new threats so let’s take advantage of it, okay? Work with me and cooperate with the guards; let them protect you and set a good example for these kids.”

Ellie tilted her head as she considered his words.

“Fine. But if I find they’re not up to par, I’m calling you out there to take a shift. You and that feisty red head of yours. I like her! But leave her son and that tall blonde bitch home.”

Daphne covered her mouth to hold back her giggles. Kelsey and George weren’t quite sure how to react since they didn’t know who was related to whom, so they kept their faces expressionless until they saw Carl give his slow smile, then they relaxed.

“I think I can manage that, but don’t worry. I’ll hand pick the men to be assigned to your detail.”

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After dropping Justin off at Ellie’s house, with strict orders that the boy was to get a full night’s sleep that night, Brian headed into his office. He had stayed at the loft longer than he had planned, and by the time he got back to his office and cleared away the emergencies that had built up over the past two days, it was early evening. He stretched out his long legs, and realized with some surprise that it was the first day he’d missed a run without it being a scheduled “rest” day in weeks. He looked at the pile of unfinished projects on his desk that were still awaiting his attention. Slowly but surely, Ben’s group of runners, one small blond one in particular, had taken over a large part of Brian’s life. He’d made certain promises today that he intended to keep; the question was, in what manner was he planning to keep them? There was being there for the kid, and then there was being there. Brian had never seen himself as relationship material before. He suspected that Justin was a hearts and flowers, forever after kind of person. It was easy for a kid like that to read more into what they had, especially with the added drama that the danger presented. Not that Brian didn’t care...he did. Seeing Justin crumpled on the ground was enough to make him realize how much, but that whole scene at the hospital, with Lindsay and Michael ragging on their loving partners also made him realize that the last thing he wanted at this stage in his life were the demands of a “partner.” Someone else that he had to think of every time he turned around.

It was also the last thing the kid needed when he was supposed to be focusing on getting an education and his running goals. Justin was a damn fine runner; if only he could be persuaded to give up his bad habits, he could be incredible. World class even. He didn’t need some older guy hanging around, dragging him down. Give him a year of the right kind of training, a few firsts in the right races and he could write his own ticket by the time he graduated. Endorsements would fund whatever type of further education or art training he needed, wherever he wanted to pursue it. Brian’s job would be to mentor him at this stage in his life, keep him safe, and push him on to the next stage when the time came with a big, happy, sated grin on his face. He resolutely refused to acknowledge that his own feelings would be anything other than relieved when that day came. And hopeful, of course, that the kid didn’t get maudlin about it. Justin’s intense disappointment at having to stay with the other kids at Ellie’s when Brian dropped him off was making the older man question his sanity in giving in to temptation after all; what had he been thinking?

After seeing how the redhead had been acting this morning, Brian had an inkling he wasn’t the only one in this predicament. In fact, the main thing keeping him from being furious at a certain professor for dragging him into this whole mess was the suspicion that said professor of literature and homosexual studies was currently hoist on his own petard. Or, more accurately, hanging up by his balls, if Brian knew his best friend as well as he thought he did. He smirked to himself as he recalled the look on Mikey’s face when he gave Ben that kiss; shocked didn’t begin to cover it. Outrage was more like it. Which was fucked up, really, given that Mikey pretty much expected Brian to kiss him, whether Ben was there or not.

Shaking his head ruefully, Brian reached for his phone and hit the speed dial for Ben’s cell phone, barely waiting for the deep voice to answer before asking abruptly, “Can you come meet me at Kinnetik or are you grounded for being a bad boy and missing curfew last night?”

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment and then the sound of an exhaled breath; Brian wasn’t quite sure if it was amusement or frustration. A bit of both, he concluded as he waited impatiently for the professor to answer.

“I’ll be there. When?”

“Is now too soon? Make it twenty minutes and I’ll have fresh coffee for you.”

“It’s a deal.”

It was more like thirty minutes before the muscular form of Carnegie Mellon’s best built professor could be seen coming into Kinnetik’s empty reception area. Brian waved him into his office through the open door and then gestured for him to close it. The frosted glass that enclosed his office was enough to ensure propriety in case anyone from his staff showed up to work overtime, but the closed door was needed for the sound proofed walls to do their job in protecting the privacy of their discussion. He would pander to Mikey’s paranoia just so far, but he would not compromise the safety of those kids now that it was clear there really was a threat.

Brian got up and poured Ben a cup of the promised coffee from the fancy European coffee machine located on a credenza. It was a client product that for once, was an easy sell; it worked great and made fantastic coffee. The pleased client gifted Brian with several of their incredibly expensive top of the line coffee makers in appreciation for a successful campaign as well as a lifetime supply of gourmet coffees, which, as Cynthia cynically noted, should last him about six months.

“Cream, sugar? Organic honey? Soy milk? The blood of a virgin goat, gender...uh...need we specify?” Brian raised an eyebrow inquisitively as he lifted the steaming mug.

Ben gave a half smile. “Black is fine, thanks, although why do I feel like I’m being fed a last meal...or drink?” He took a sip from the mug with a grateful sigh. “Ah, caffeine. Why pervert it with all that healthy stuff?”

“I knew it!” Brian smirked. “Who are you and what have you done with Zen Ben? The offer of coffee was really a fiendishly clever ploy to draw out the imposter. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. Mikey, he’d be complaining, but then, that’s part of his charm, at least, that’s what I tell myself to keep from killing him. What do you tell yourself?”

“Don’t, Brian.” Ben held up a hand.

“What, I was just...” Brian looked quizzically at the other man as he finished stirring sugar into his own cup of coffee.

Ben sank down into one of the plush chairs and rested his coffee cup and his head on Brian’s desk.

Brian sat down in the matching chair next to him instead of going around to his usual spot behind the desk. “Ben...do you want to talk about it?” He felt stupid as soon as he said the words...this was not his kind of conversation. Emmett did this kind of thing as easily as he painted his toenails, but Brian had grown to like the serious professor over the past several weeks of working together on the running program and he hated seeing him in such obvious pain. Damn Mikey and his childish attitudes. He had a great guy and he was fucking it up. Brian had known for ages that Mikey didn’t appreciate Ben like he should, that he often put Brian first; it just hadn’t mattered to Brian until Ben mattered more. He figured if Ben didn’t have the balls to put an end to it, that was Ben’s problem. He was beginning to see where it could be his problem too if Ben did put an end to it and found something, or someone, better, and he, Brian, had divided loyalties.

Besides which, the two of them really had a bigger issue to talk about, and as much as it kind of overlapped with their personal problem, they had to stay focused, which was, to Brian’s way of looking at it, the solution. Stay focused on the running and the threat to the runners, and keep the personal stuff on the low burners. Right.

Brian grimaced, and tried to figure out a way to address this with the visibly distraught man in front of him. To his surprise, while he was searching for the right words, Ben straightened up and shook his head, firmed that square jaw and looked Brian in the eye.

“I don’t think talking about it is going to help, really. And…” Ben took a large swallow of the strong coffee and then a deep breath. “There really is only one solution to the whole situation. For both of us. We need to somehow put our relationships, such as they are, with Justin and George, back on a more professional level.”

Brian met Ben’s gaze levelly, his face not revealing any of his inner turmoil. While he’d had every intention of taking things back a step from the level of intensity he’d reached so quickly with Justin, he didn’t have any intention of giving up sex with the blond. It was incredible. He would never admit it, but he couldn’t remember ever feeling anything like what he felt with Justin. And Ben wanted him to give that up and just coach him? Down the road, sure. When the novelty wore off, as it was sure to do...someday. Not now. He felt slightly panicked. He set down his cup.

“I promised the kid I’d be there for him, and I think right now, that means being there in a personal way, Ben. I didn’t mean for things to develop the way they have, but I don’t see how I can simply pull away from him now. Besides, I think he needs that added level of trust for me to reach him as a coach.”

There, that sounded good, Brian thought, as he leaned back and crossed his legs.

“Like he did at the last practice?” Ben asked skeptically. He put his cup down and placed his muscular arms across the back of the chair as he looked across at Brian. “I seem to recall that the morning after your rendevous, Justin ignored your coaching instructions and became so angry that he took off into the woods alone for his cool down after a practice race in which George beat him, in direct contravention of everything he’d been told. I’m not sure how well he will do with your ‘loving’ methods of coaching.”

Time to switch to the offensive, Brian thought, wincing internally. “That was a temporary set-back and we’ve already worked out the misunderstanding. What I would like to know, however, is what exactly happened with you and George? I thought you were there with all of the kids at Ellie’s the night of the shooting. If you found a minute of privacy at that house you’re a better man than I am.” He raised an eyebrow. Ben looked guilty.

“George came into the kitchen while I was on the phone with Michael and...well...nothing happened really.” Brian tilted his head and waited. Ben got up and poured himself some more coffee. “He was massaging my shoulders, which were tensing up as they tend to do when...”Ben cut off what he was saying, pressing his lips firmly together.

Brian finished the statement for him. “As they tend to do when Mikey starts with that whining of his, complaining about the same old things and refusing to listen to reason no matter how small of words you try to speak in, no need to explain about that. It’s a wonder your neck isn’t in a permanent knot from tensing those muscles and your teeth worn down from clenching them. But on this occasion, you had your own nubile young masseuse, and one thing led to another, and....”

“And after I hung up the phone, our eyes met, and...we kissed.”

“And then?” Brian waited, smiling faintly. Part of him realized that he'd probably be taking Mikey’s side in this but really, Mikey was such as ass to Ben all the time, Ben deserved better. It was going to be messy, but at least he wasn’t the only one who fooled around with one of the runners.

“But nothing. We kissed, but that was more than enough to show me that I’m obviously far too attracted to George and not as committed to Michael as I believed myself to be.” Ben looked haunted.

Brian almost choked on his coffee.

“All you did was fucking kiss the guy and you’re saying we both have to stop fooling around? Christ, Ben, do you have to be such a fucking saint?”

“Brian, we’ve got bigger problems to face with these boys than our libidos. And how are we going to help them if we’re involved with them? I have to deal with Michael, that is clear, but I think we have to agree to be friends to George and Justin...platonic friends, the better to protect them as their coaches. Especially with the threats that are being leveled against them. How would it look if it got around that both coaches were involved with young men on the team? How can I have one rule for George and a different rule for Justin and have any hope of enforcing it? I have to be honest with you, Brian. I don’t know if I can resist him if I don’t have your support in this. I’d have to quit as their coach, but then where would that leave them?”

Ben looked imploringly at Brian, who sat shocked. He hadn’t thought all of the ramifications of it through. Fuck. There was no way he could keep sleeping with Justin and expect George to meekly accept Ben’s position that he couldn’t be involved with one of the runners. Hell, if Ben couldn’t handle Mikey, there was no way he’d be able to withstand that red-haired force of nature, much less the rest of the musketeers. Thinking about the tight-knit quartet, Brian frowned.

“We’re fucked, Professor, there’s no two ways around it. I think our only hope is to let the stalkers have the bunch of them.”

Ben looked at the hazel eyed man. He wasn’t completely sure he was kidding.

 

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“So, let me get this straight,” Daphne was stretched out across the foot of Justin’s twin bed. Justin was sitting against the headboard, sketching, keeping his bandaged left arm on a pillow. George and Kelsey were in the other twin bed, lying on it sideways with their long legs bent up against the wall, arms propping up their chins in identical poses that Justin was capturing in caricatures that highlighted Kelsey’s usual serious expression and George’s good humored countenance.

“You,” the smaller girl pointed at Justin with all the air of Perry Mason unmasking the killer in the final minutes of an episode, “didn’t just go off with Brian for ice cream the other night, but actually went to his loft for an enchanted evening of wondrous love making, which, contrary to all protestations to the contrary, was not just more of the same old, same old.”

George snorted. “Yeah, like anyone like Kinney would have fallen for that bullshit anyway. Try more like ‘Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life.’”

“Like when Madeline Kahn sings it in ‘Young Frankenstein’?” Daphne asked, straight-faced.

“I loved that part of the movie,” Kelsey chimed in, stifling giggles as Justin looked up from his sketchbook to glare at all three of them and toss a pencil at George.

“You know, it’s not like you’re in any position to talk, Georgie Porgie, sneaky and sly, kissing the professor and made the boyfriend cry,” Daphne mused. This time it was the girls and Justin laughing and George who first turned bright red with embarrassment, then tossed his head.

“I don’t care, I’d do it again. Coach Ben is a fantastic guy, and did you hear the way his boyfriend treated him? He’s like that all the time. He doesn’t make him happy and a guy as great as Ben deserves better.”

“Deserves you?” Daphne asked with a dimpled smile.

George had an unusually serious expression on his face. “I’m not saying I’m good enough for someone like Ben, but I know that if I were lucky enough to have him in my life, I sure as hell wouldn’t be wasting my time making him unhappy. I’d be spending every minute down on my knees thanking God for giving me a man like that.”

“Or at least down on your knees,” Kelsey mused.

“Which would no doubt make him happier,” Daphne added impishly.

The two young men looked at each other, then grinned. “They’re incorrigible, we may as well just accept it,” Justin said.

“I think it’s Ellie’s influence. I’ve run with Kelsey for three years now and never a peep out of her. A couple of weeks around Ellie and she sounds like a cross between a truck driver and Rosanne Barr.”

“Oh come on now, I’m not that bad, and neither is Ellie. She is just refreshingly candid about her opinions,” Kelsey noted. “In that vein, I think you two need to step back and think about how you’re going to handle things with the coaches tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?” Daphne asked the question that was written on the two males’ faces. “Justin is crazy about Brian and it’s obvious that Brian is crazy about him, while George’s previously unrequited love for Coach Ben is progressing very nicely. The evil whiner is on his way out and George is going to be in like...well, like a George, having massaged his way to the big guy’s heart by way of those dreamy big shoulder muscles...a master stroke if ever there was one. It led to a kiss and before you know it...he too will be singing ‘Ah Sweet Mystery of Life’ in his slightly off key tenor voice. Which leaves us nothing to do but to solve the mystery of who wants to shoot gay runners, not as interesting as the boys’ sex lives, I’ll grant you, but...”

“Hush for a moment, Daffy. That’s just it. With this threat hanging over all of us, there is no way the coaches, once they take a moment and think...with something other than their southern brains, that is,” Kelsey smiled in brief apology at the two males in attendance, but briskly continued in her firm voice, “they’ll no doubt conclude that their first duty is to focus on Justin and George as runners, and to the team as a whole. That will, they’ll decide, preclude romance, either because it will incite further violence by drawing too much attention, or simply draw the wrong kind of attention or give the appearance of impropriety even though there are plenty of examples of coaches dating over-age team members where the couples are heterosexual...regardless, I anticipate a major cooling off by tomorrow on the part of both coaches. So, what are you two going to do about it?”

Justin looked shattered for a moment. Even George looked far less confident than he had before the tall girl had given her speech.

“Are you saying Brian will want to stop seeing me?” the blond asked.

Kelsey made an exasperated noise and Daphne rolled her eyes.

“No. I’m saying that there is a gunman out there, maybe more than one, and it presents a risk to gay runners. Especially you, Justin. But also to all of us. The coaches are going to be worried about this and feel responsible. Being older, they are going to think that this is not the best time to be thinking about love...when we’re surrounded by people who hate you because of who you love. So, all I’m saying is, how do you plan to deal with that? Are you going to get your feelings hurt tomorrow if Brian and Ben seem distant?”

Hearing Kelsey put it like that, in her cool, analytical way, with Daphne watching, her twinkling eyes seemingly daring the two of them to be tough, Justin and George felt as though they had no choice in the matter.

Justin looked at George. The redhead slowly grinned.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” George asked the front runner.

“They won’t know what hit them,” Justin vowed.

Daphne squealed. Practice was going to be so much fun. 

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