Better Friends and Lovers: Interludes

  Learning How to Dream

A/N This story is dedicated to Maxiekat, with my love, for her birthday! She both requested the storyline and inspired some of the ideas, so I give my thanks to her for her support and inspiration on this and always!

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(Setting: Fields behind St. James Academy, Pittsburgh; early November, 2008; POV/Brian Kinney)

Noticing that Joey was really starting to breathe hard, I slacked off on the pace a bit. The last thing I needed was for him to have a heart attack. His wife would have my left nut and I really didn’t have one to spare. Even more importantly, my partner, little brother to the big guy next to me who was huffing and puffing like a leather daddy about to blast his load into next Tuesday, wouldn’t be too pleased if I were to push my running partner into an early grave. As often as I pointed out that Danny really had more than enough brothers to spare one or two, he kept insisting that he was fond of all of them. Truth of the matter was, I had a kind of sentimental attachment to this one myself. After all, if it hadn’t been for Joey refusing to take my churlishness seriously during our first few weeks at college, I’d never have been taken under the wing of the O’Keefe clan, never have met Danny O’Keefe, and never have found the measure of happiness, hell, outright ecstasy, that was my current state of existence.

Yeah, I kind of owed Joey O’Keefe. And he was calling in the favor. Ironically, what he was asking in return for indirectly making me the happiest homo in Pittsburgh was practically killing him. But, it was all in the name of getting him into shape.

Part of the problem was, we were doing this behind the backs of all of the nosy, interfering O’Keefes, who’d grown used to teasing cheerful Joey about his non-O’Keefe like physique. For the past couple of years, they’d never missed an opportunity either to mock him or to nag him about his extra weight and all-around out of shape condition. It wasn’t even that he had been in all that bad of shape. It was a relative thing. Literally. His relatives were all ridiculously in shape and tended to look years younger than their age. Any of them would be considered in excellent shape for men ten years younger than they really were. Joey, on the other hand, who was about nine months older than me, had, until recently, looked about ten years older than his age. Even worse, at thirty-seven, he’d looked older than his own forty-nine year old brother. Even his fifty-three year old brother could run circles around him on the soccer field.

And John, the forty-one year old brother? That man looked about a decade younger than Joey’s chronological age. Fucking shame he wasn’t gay. With the metabolism he was blessed with, John could eat anything and stay lean and muscular. Not that he didn’t work out too, but he did it more as a way to rid himself of stress and excess energy than because he gave a fuck about how he looked.

Meanwhile, there was my man, Danny, the baby of the family. There was no point even comparing Joey to him. As Emmett wisely puts it, he should be the exception to any rational man’s attempt to compete. Danny is a god among mortals, plain and simple and I’m the lucky fuck who gets to fuck him. Works for me. The fact that he feels the same way about me is a nice bonus.

Until recently, I’d always assumed Joey didn’t care how he looked, that he was happy with the spare tire around his middle and the slightly soft, boyish look the extra weight gave his face that was so different from the more chiseled good looks of his brothers. He was still a good looking guy, hell, all of the O’Keefes were blessed with black wavy hair and gorgeous green eyes, and every one of them was a tall, muscular guy.

Joey was my height, six three, but he’d always been far broader. We’d played soccer together at Penn State and back then, he would have been the one slowing down the pace so I could keep up when we did laps around the track. Not anymore. One thing about being gay: you needed to stay in shape. It was what the lawyers would call a BFOQ: a bona fide occupational qualification. You either stayed in shape or you were reduced to trolling the clubs with the, well, the trolls.

Joey had surprised me by calling and asking me to meet him for lunch one weekday in late September. Apparently it was the Jewish holidays and even a school named for St. James was closed. Very egalitarian. We went to Alfonso’s instead of the Liberty Diner for lunch. Joey sheepishly said it would be nice to try something different but he gave off the vibes of someone who didn’t want to run into anyone he knew.

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[Flashback scene-late September]

As I asked Cynthia to call ahead and make the reservation for us, I had this moment of cognitive dissonance. First, I was having lunch with my old college roommate, a breeder if ever there was one, and yet my life had changed to the point that he was more likely to run into people he knew, both gay and straight, (which group included both his siblings and our mutual friends), in a diner that catered to gays, than I was. Secondly, there was the fact that it was Joey, the most outgoing and people-loving of all the O’Keefes, who was looking to avoid the diner, instead of me, the misanthropic of the two of us. But he wasn’t avoiding the diner because it was gay-friendly; it was soon apparent that he wanted to go somewhere else because he might see family and friends there. Toto, we weren’t in Pittsburgh anymore.

Frankly, I was even more perplexed once we faced each other over our big plates of cacciatore and he started talking. As he waved his fork in the air and talked, I noticed that his eyes were a deep sea green, which usually meant he was very serious. I used to know all the shadings of Joey’s eyes like I now know Danny’s. Not as a result of the same circumstances, of course, but simply because four years is a long time to live with someone. Especially cohabiting in one tiny room for a good part of that time. It makes you close.

“You know, when we were back in college, if someone had told me that some day you’d be living with my little brother Danny, I wouldn’t have been all that surprised. No, really, I wouldn’t have been. You always did connect with the kid. He went to you times when he couldn’t go to one of us, and I could see why. You always listened to him, made time for him. You didn’t do that for a lot of people and he didn’t open up to many people either. He wasn’t just another green-eyed O’Keefe soccer player to you and he appreciated that, I think. Once he came out, that connection was even stronger. I could see, even back then, that he was going to be entering a world that none of us knew anything about. I was glad you’d be there for him and it occurred to me that when he got older, it could turn into something other than a big brother, mentor kind of relationship. He always was special, and you, well, you were Kinney.”

He treated me to one of his grins and lifted his hands up as if to ask, what could one do? “No one ever measured up to you that I ever saw, but if anyone had the balls to take you on, it would be the kid, you know? When the time was right.”

I felt pretty good to hear that. A little part of me always worried that Joey might harbor some of the suspicion he’d voiced the night that I stood by Danny’s side when he came out to this brother first. He’d been just sixteen and there were five more to go, but Danny had thought Joey, as my friend, would be the easiest. He probably was, but not before, already half drunk, he’d spoken without thinking, and asked if I’d made improper advances to Danny, who I’d known since he was barely thirteen. I’d been upset, but not as pissed off as Danny had been on my behalf. The kid had quickly put his brother in his place. Of course, what Danny didn’t know then because it was a closely held secret of mine was that I found his sixteen year old self far more attractive than his older brothers would have found acceptable. Hell, more than I found acceptable. He was almost six years younger than I was, and at twenty-one, almost twenty-two, I thought that was far too big a gap to cross.

Years later, when I met Justin Taylor, I was a ripe old twenty-nine to his seventeen, and a much more jaded man. Or less noble. Something. Because by that point, I didn’t think twice that the age gap was too much. I was either wiser or dumber at twenty-one when it came to that thing called love. The jury’s still out on that one. Either way, I was strict about keeping my relationship with Danny purely platonic back in his formative years, even when the horny young devil tried making a move on me after a drunken and emotionally drained Joey passed out in our room. Calling on willpower that I’m damned if I know the source of, I turned him down. Must have used up my lifetime supply that night. I don’t know if I would have made the same choice if I knew then that it would be over a decade before I would get another chance with him. I tried my best not to screw that second chance up. I couldn’t be sure of getting a third try. Now, two and a half years later, we were still together.

Anyway, it was good to know that Joey approved of us now. This is especially true since after so memorably accusing me of trying to turn his little brother to the dark side, he followed it by drunkenly swearing to support the kid, then proceeded to drink himself into such a stupor that we had to haul his massive self home and dump him into my dorm bed to sleep it off.

Not Joey’s finest hour. As I sat in Alfonso’s, waiting for what was to come next, I couldn’t help smiling with anticipation. Joey had the classic Irishman’s penchant for oratory. Sentimental oratory. Very handy for weddings and funerals, but susceptible to being brought out on any occasion a beer or whiskey bottle was opened. He didn’t disappoint, leaning forward and looking at me earnestly with those aforementioned sea green eyes.

“Anyway, as I said, I could feel the vibes between you two even then, young as Danny was, and while I know you were being the perfect gentleman, for all that I said some things I shouldn’t have, and Brian, let me tell you that I apologize now, late and overdue as the words are, since I was too drunk to do it properly then. I was wrong to ever accuse you of starting anything with Danny while he was still a kid. You’d never have done anything like that and I knew that then as much as I know it now. I am so sorry for hurting you with such a terrible, stupid accusation, but I was just talking nonsense because the kid shocked me and my mouth was talking without my brain being engaged. That doesn’t mean I’m blaming him, it means I was stupid and I’ve been sorry for years but didn’t know how to say it.”

Our eyes met over the pasta and I smiled at him, shrugging slightly. All was forgiven. Suddenly, a small knot of resentment that I’d carried without fully realizing it for over fifteen years crumbled to dust at the sight of that earnest, apologetic look from the big lug. Of course, that wasn’t the end of it. Joey insisted on a full confession...it was the Roman Catholic in him. I keep telling Danny this. You can take the boy out of the Roman Catholic Church and receive him as an Episcopalian, but you can never really get all of the Roman Catholic Church out of the boy. Danny just jams his rosary back in his pocket and tells me I’m wrong. Hah. But catch him eating meat on Fridays during Lent? I don’t think so...besides mine, that is.

“Brian, you were my best friend and I never for a second should have said such a thing since I knew what you went through better than anyone. I was lucky you didn’t smash my face in that night for what I said. I counted myself really lucky that Danny had you in those early years to tell him the things he needed to know. None of us were much help to him, all so busy pretending that if we ignored the fact that he was gay, maybe it would go away. It was wrong of us and especially of me. I should’ve known better. I did know better. I’m lucky you even talk to me. I’ll tell you one thing, that witch Judith never would have happened to the kid if Dad had been more of the kind of dad to Danny that he’d been to the rest of us.”

Well, I couldn’t argue with that. At least by never telling Jack I was gay until I was grown and he was dying, I didn’t have to deal with him trying to “cure” me by insisting I date both women and men. “Just to make sure you know your own mind,” as Pat O’Keefe put it. Like there ever was any doubt with Danny. Joey could have been better back when Danny was first out, but then again, he could have been a lot worse. He never withdrew his affection, he just worried a lot about his smaller, younger brother and wanted him to find the kind of happiness he’d found. Joey was one happy breeder and he thought all men should feel the way he did about women. It took him time to get used to the idea that I wasn’t like him and it took a lot more for him to accept that his own brother played for the other team. He’d asked me to keep an eye on Danny, and to the extent that I could, I did. As it turned out, for a while, Danny never needed much help. When the time came that he did, he never let any of us know, choosing to fight his own battles.

I tried to explain this to Joey. And to get to the bottom of this heart to heart.

“I didn’t do much for him, Joe. Gave him ‘the talk.’ Introduced him to a few places. He was a quick study, your brother. Being in the arts, he was among a lot of ‘us’ from the beginning. When the whole Simon thing got started, he thought he could handle it on his own and I think it got too serious for him to handle before he knew it. At least he had the sense to turn to Luke when that happened. But, you didn’t ask to meet me today just to go over that old business, did you? Not that I don’t appreciate the apology, I’m always willing to hear an O’Keefe admit he was wrong, but I’m guessing something else is on your mind.”

Joey still looked uncomfortable, despite a brief smile in acknowledgment of my dig. “Yeah, actually, there is something I wanted to talk about, but I didn’t feel right asking you for a favor without first clearing up that ‘old business’ as you call it. I take it I have your forgiveness?” His normally cheerful face was serious.

I reached out my hand and took his in a firm clasp. “All is forgiven, forgotten, no need to ever mention it again,” I assured him. “Do we get to seal it with a kiss now?” I gave him a wicked grin. It had been standing joke between us back in our college days that I would one day show him the joys of “ass sex” as he called it. Of course, he wasn’t such a bear back then, but instead had been one hell of a good looking guy with a gorgeous body that put Zen Ben’s to shame. Had he been at all interested, I probably would have given him a ride, but he was as straight as they came. Emmett constantly bemoaned the fact that John O’Keefe was the straightest man in Pittsburgh; I begged to differ. Joey O’Keefe has held the State title for twenty years. After all, he shared a room with yours truly for four years and never once got even the beginnings of a hard-on seeing me in the buff. Believe me, back then I kept an eye out for any sign of interest. I’m willing to bet their brother John is bi enough to have cracked under the strain of that temptation for that long. But not Joey. The man is as hetero as they come...so to speak.

In fact, even now, his good natured grin was back but there was a tinge of doubt to it as he asked, “That isn’t going to be the payback for doubting you before, is it? I mean, if it is, it is, but wouldn’t a hug do?”

I laughed, causing him to relax.

“You jerk,” he said, smiling broadly, before pushing away his still half full plate.

“Don’t tell me the thought of kissing me put you off your food? I’m crushed.”

“No. I’m cutting back. That’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about.” He sucked in his cheeks, causing his dimple to deepen. Unlike my Danny, Joey’s smile had just one deep dimple, on the right. “I’ve been trying to cut back. I’ve decided I’ve been the family’s joke long enough...no wait,” he held up his hand to ward off my interruption. I was ready to offer to put a stop to the teasing about Joey’s weight that did go on almost non-stop. The truth was, he only came in last in show when the category was labeled “male O’Keefe.” Put him next to most men in their mid to late thirties and he’d be prime beefcake. Joey was sheepish as he continued his explanation.

“I know they mean it in good fun and if you or Danny said something to them, they’d stop it in an instant. Well, most of them. Mary Pat and Mary Kate do worry about my health and nothing shuts them up. As for Jamie, well, I don’t think Jamie is capable of not teasing, do you?” He smiled ruefully.

“No, but if John and Danny pound some sense into him, with Daphne cheering them on and denying him sex, he might get the hint,” I suggested. “But why don’t you tell me what you want me to do, since neither siccing your tough brothers and even tougher sister-in-law on the dense ones nor telling the well-meaning but irritating ones to belt it up, is it? You don’t want me to help you diet, do you?” I looked at him doubtfully.

I didn’t think I was the best person for that task. I’ve never had to diet since I’ve never been overweight in my life. Quite frankly, I have never been able to understand why a person couldn’t just cut back if they found themselves putting on too much weight. Cynthia has told me that saying things like that out loud could get me killed in some crowds, however, so I tend to keep my opinions to myself. On this topic at least. I’ve noticed that, as a rule, women and gay men love to talk about food and what they’re not eating as much as what they are eating. It’s one way I am not a stereotypical gay man, I guess. I don’t give a fuck about food. I might taste some of Danny’s chocolate cake, but it’s more for the fun of eating from his fork, or better yet, his lips, than from any insatiable need for sweets. Same with ice cream. I wouldn’t be able to remember the last time I ate a whole dessert on my own.

Food was a necessity. Hence my standing order at the diner: turkey, lettuce, whole wheat, no mayo. It served a purpose and was a balanced meal. The lemon bars are a concession to Deb’s need to feed me calories and perhaps are associated with her caring in my mind. At least that’s what Emmett says, and he is a stereotypical gay man when it comes to food, so who was I to argue with him, the arbiter of all things food-like? Admittedly, he deserves credit for catering to two such picky eaters as Danny and me. I don’t care what I eat, although if I had a preference it’s Thai. Danny’s neurotic about what he eats, needing to know the carbs, the proteins, the exact fat count of every bite. He’ll stare at a take-out container of Thai like I’m trying to poison him unless Emmett gives him the okay on it. Sometimes he’s such a fairy. I tell him as much, but of course then he has to wrestle me to the ground and have his wicked way with me to prove his masculinity. That is what Danny calls a win/win situation.

I looked at his big brother and raised an eyebrow. “I’m not very good with diets, you know. Danny or Emmett would be much better. Em’s great with recipes, but you’d need Danny, or even John, to make sure it was nutritionally sound. John might be a good idea as he wouldn’t starve you as Danny would.”

“Danny would drive me crazy in two days. Not that he wouldn’t mean well. John wouldn’t be any better. He’d turn it into a project. Those guys, they have iron discipline. They decide they’re going to run a marathon, or cut meat from their diet, or climb Mt. Everest, anything, and you know they’re going to do it. Hell, Danny will be dancing professionally again. I have no doubt about it. He knows how to dream. John too. He didn’t let having to get married in college and having a baby at nineteen stop him from graduating the top of his class at Penn State and being summa cum laude in law school. He’s brilliant and determined. Even Jamie. He may be a practical joker, but he was a top athlete and top of his class in science of all things, and was accepted at all the best medical schools. He went to University of Pennsylvania Medical School and was also top in his class, all while starting a soccer program for inner city kids...did you know that? He could have gone into any number of high paying jobs when his residencies were done but he chose ER work because he loves it, and he helps at the clinics for free, while still working with the city’s sports programs. All of my brothers are fit and athletic, even Matt and Mark could pass as the fathers of their own grandkids for pete’s sake. And Danny, let’s face it, the baby of the family is a real live star, and rightly so. It’s no wonder, really, that my girls name their uncles as their heroes. Not their dad. I’m an embarrassment to them.”

I had been smiling as Joey recited his brothers’ achievements, at the pride in his voice, but my smile faded as he finished. There was no bitterness in his voice when he made his final comment, just acceptance. That was perhaps the worst part of it. He looked at me, his eyes soft mossy green.

“I don’t want to change what I do, Brian. I’m proud of being a teacher and I’m a damn good one. I took the job at St. James this year, which does pay a lot more money, but it wasn’t for the money that I did it. I only did it after Daphne and John convinced me that the kids there needed good teachers as much as the kids in our old neighborhood did, maybe even more. Daphne knew conditions there because she went to school there and John knows because he sits on the board of St. James and his Johnny went here. Josh is going there next year. I was skeptical at first. I thought maybe it was their way of getting old Joey into a better paying job, but you know what? They were right. The kids there do need good teachers. I’m seeing more neglected teens from these affluent families at St. James than I ever did from the lower middle class ones I used to teach. I can do some good there and put more money away towards my girls’ college. Which would be a nice change.” He smiled crookedly.

“But, taking on the coaching position, which I did along with the math position and an assistant vice principal position, which is like the discipline administrative position, I think I got it based on size, I found that instilling respect, especially as a coach, was hard to do when I was so out of shape. Back at the old school, I already had the kids’ respect and a built-in reputation. I didn’t have to prove myself. They knew I’d been a star at soccer in high school and college. At this fancy prep school, the name O’Keefe doesn’t mean anything to them. They aren’t in the public school league so they don’t even play against the nephews!” He laughed at himself. Then his face grew serious again.

“That wasn’t the worst of it. I’ve worked with kids for fifteen years now. I know how to win their respect. The really bad time for me came when I was made to realize that the reason my thirteen year old, Cathy, wanted Uncle Jamie or Uncle John to come talk to her class on career day a week ago was because she was ashamed of the way I looked.”

I felt bad for my old friend, sitting there looking crushed. “Are you sure that was it? I mean, what kid wants her dad to look hot anyway? They probably just already had a teacher come in.”

He rolled his eyes at my attempt to offer comfort. It was no wonder; I suck at it. “They’d had a doctor and a lawyer already, two moms. She had wanted to ask Danny but I told her he was busy, which he was. An actor slash model slash singer would have been a major coup, and I could have understood that. Hell, who can compete with Danny? But I overheard Cathy talking with Rory. She’s my second girl. Rory asked Cathy why she didn’t ask Daddy to do it when John told her he was sorry but he couldn’t fit it in and Jamie was booked for two weeks. I heard Cathy moan that ‘Daddy has gotten so fat,’ she didn’t want her friends to see.”

“Ouch.” I really had to wonder where the O’Keefe females got their bitchiness from. Or maybe it was this generation, thinking of John’s son. I wondered if I could get Danny to send Briana away to boarding school for a decade or so. “Talk about a kick to the balls.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of how I felt. So, when she came to ask me, I questioned her a bit about how long the presentations were going to be going on, and then I acted like I couldn’t make it because of parent conferences. I got Danny to go in last week, since he was done with the fashion show by then. She was thrilled and I never let on that I’d overheard her conversation.”

“I didn’t know Danny went to your school for your kid last week. He would have been pissed at her if he’d known...”

Again, Joey stopped my indignation on his behalf, this time with a simple shake of his head. “I appreciate the thought, Brian, I really do, and if I weren’t capable of becoming the kind of man my daughters could be proud of again, it would be a different story. Danny, John, Jamie, even Matt and Mark, they all work hard to stay in shape. For Danny, it’s part of his profession but for the others, they don’t have to stay in that kind of shape, yet they do. Why do you stay in shape?”

“For sex,” I answered automatically then flushed slightly, remembering to whom I was speaking. This was my partner’s brother after all, good friend of mine or not. Joey smirked at the sign of my embarrassment.

“Oh my, Brian Kinney actually can get embarrassed....wait until I put that in the alumni news!” He laughed his big, full bodied laugh that I couldn’t help responding to. He continued, “But that’s kind of what I mean, you play soccer and racquetball still, despite being busy running your own company and you’re even out there running around the track with my brothers. I hear they even have you cross training, and they think you’re doing it to be more competitive on the soccer field, but I don’t buy that. The Brian I knew and lived with for four years didn’t do anything if it wasn’t going to get him either more money or more sex...preferably both.”

I pretended to be offended. “You wound me, Joseph, you truly do.”

“Yeah, yeah, but you don’t deny it, do you?”

“Well, what would be the point of that? As you pointed out, you lived with me for four straight years. Which, considering we never ‘broke up’ that’s still a record. No one knows me like you do, big guy. Although my assistant Cynthia could probably give you a run for your money. But, I’m going to ask you yet again, and this makes three times...what can I do for you?”

“Help get me in shape...not by dieting but by helping me stay motivated, maybe spending a little of your training time with me...reminding me that I used to be a jock too and I can do it again. I’m not John or Danny but you’re not a maniac like them, so maybe....”

“You figure you can keep up with someone like me who sees exercise as a means to an end and is not obsessed with it,” I finished for him. He smiled in relief to have it out on the table finally. I gave him an answering grin. “Makes sense. They’re crazy, I’ll agree with that. Danny had to be tied down when his knee was still healing. Even now, I think he does too much with it. He re-injured it last winter when he did that dance with Julie and refused to get it looked at until it really was messed up again. My ankle wasn’t as fucked up as his leg was but I still say I got better faster because I listened to my doctor and didn’t double up on every exercise they gave me. Anyway, I’ll be glad to help you. But I will say one thing on the diet part. When I started playing soccer, I gave up smoking and almost all my drinking, just a beer a day during the week and no more than two a day on the weekends, and that made a big difference.”

Joey nodded grimly. “I already figured out as much. Don’t say a word to the others because I kind of think I’ll do better without their ‘helping’ by supervising every bite I eat or sip I drink, but...don’t you laugh... I actually started Weight Watchers.”

The warning was needed. My image of Weight Watchers was a bunch of middle-aged housewives in tight polyester talking about the best way to broil fish in lemon juice. My sister had done it a few times...never with any marked success. Of course, that wasn’t Weight Watchers’ fault, she’d failed with all the major diet programs. She was a success at failing.

[end of first flashback]

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That lunch had been weeks ago. Today, Joey was noticeably thinner than he’d been almost two months earlier but with the family so taken up with John and Micky’s pending wedding, which had been put off following her miscarriage the year before, as well as some other family dramas, Joey’s quiet metamorphosis was slipping under the radar. Except to a few. Just yesterday in my office, when we were supposed to be prepping for a client presentation, my keen-eyed Danny revealed that he had noticed the change in his brother, but with his usual sensitivity, asked me if he was supposed to have noticed it. I looked up at him as he stood inside my office door. He was wearing a very modernly cut dark suit, black on black, shirt, tie, even the pinstripes on the suit were achieved by way of texture in the rich cloth. I’d raised my eyebrow at his somber choice as he’d dressed that morning but his only answer was to grin and tell me black was hot.

Watching him move gracefully across my office to come to a rest on the edge of my desk, I tended to agree. He looked hot.

He smiled since I’d clearly forgotten what he’d asked me, having gotten caught up in my perusal of his body in those clothes. There were certain advantages and disadvantages to living with a supermodel. I’d always read where they hated dressing up on their own time–not Danny. He loved clothes.

He rapped his knuckles on my desk for my attention again. “Joey. Should I compliment his new slimness? He’s really starting to look good, like his old self...or really, like his young self. I haven’t seen him look this good since he was in college. Tell me what you know.”

“Not yet. He wants to get into really good shape before he says anything.”

“You’re helping him, aren’t you?” Danny came around to where I was sitting at my desk and straddled my lap. Not before glancing back to make sure  he’d remembered to lock my door, of course. I leaned back in my chair.

“Would I do something nice like that? For a breeder like your brother? Especially when it was a secret so it wouldn’t even be good for gratitude points from you?” I leaned my head back, all the better to receive the warm kisses he was pressing along my neck.

“Mmmm, not normally, no, but Joey is one of your oldest friends, God, I love the taste of you, let me just slip this tie off...and he is a good guy.” Nimble fingers were swiftly undoing my shirt now that the tie was history. I wondered just how far my “no sex in the office” lover was willing to go with his play this morning, but asking would no doubt prove fatal so I leaned back and thought encouraging thoughts as he wiggled that firm ass against my thighs. I wondered if there was anything in the company manual against cock-teasing? There really should be.

“So, the reason you’ve been disappearing some mornings has been to, what? Feed him cottage cheese and grapefruit? Lead him in calisthenics?” His hands roved over my chest caressingly as he continued to suck on my neck.

“The longer I hold out, the more you’ll try to suck the information out of me?” I gasped hopefully. He laughed, but before he could answer, there was a light rap on the door.

“Boss, you have time to go over those quarterly reports? I finally have them ready for you.”

Schmidt’s voice was apologetic. He was three weeks late with those reports and now he finally had them for me? He couldn’t have procrastinated a few more hours? I was about to yell for him to come back later but Danny was already buttoning up my shirt with a rueful smile.

“Later,” he mouthed, pocketing my tie, but not before first looping it around his wrists with a suggestive smile. I lose more ties that way, I mused, without a bit of regret.

Danny passed Ted on his way out and politely apologized for keeping him waiting.

[end of second flashback]
 

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That had been yesterday.

So, after convincing Joey to start his cooldown walk with me a little earlier today, I told him he really didn’t have to worry so much. “You know, you’ve really come a long way in, what’s it been? Less than two months. Danny’s noticed, you know. Just yesterday he tried seducing me into giving up the purpose of our secret rendezvous...but I was strong.”

Joey looked over at me from his bent position, hands on his thighs, still catching his breath. But even in that position, the skepticism was palpable.

“Oh yeah, and what exactly does Danny have to do to seduce a secret out of you? Unzip and begin a sentence with the word ‘talk’?”

I laughed. “I’m crushed, truly crushed, by how little faith you have in me, Joseph. I’ll have you know that the lad was well on his way to starting office sex, which is one of my favorite fetishes and something he always refuses me, well, practically always...and this time he hadn’t cleared the office of all other staff ahead of time so it would have been really hot. But I didn’t give in.”

“Got interrupted, did you?” Joey guessed shrewdly. For all that he seemed like he lived the most sedate life of the O’Keefe men, Joey was the one who was the hardest to shock, or fool. Maybe it came from working with teenagers. Or his years living with me. Joey was pretty savvy behind that round choirboy face.

“Yeah,” I confessed glumly. “You feeling better?” I looked him over. His color was improved. I still worried that I’d pushed him too hard this morning. We really ran hard. Despite his obvious exhaustion, it struck me that it really couldn’t be said that Joey looked so much older than me anymore. If it weren’t for his beat up work-out clothes and shaggy hairstyle, his new thinner shape would be much more noticeable. There were definitely cheek bones showing where there used to be flesh, and there was no sign of a double chin anymore. Joey had always been built on bigger, burlier lines than John or Danny. He took after their dad, a big, broad-chested Irishman who used to move pianos with his kid brothers when he first came to this country to make the money to buy his first business, a pub. Pat O’Keefe was so strong, the old guys at the pub used to swear he could put a baby grand on his back and carry it up a flight of stairs all by himself. I’d seen him carry a half keg on each shoulder from his tavern’s cooler like they were nothing. The man was an ox. Joey took after him, with his barrel chest and thick, muscular legs. Now that he’d shed about thirty pounds and was down to about two thirty, he still weighed more than fifty pounds more than me, but on him, it looked good. I thought it was time to ask.

“What is your goal, anyway? You aren’t lean like John or me, you know. Your wife has got to have noticed you’re beginning to look pretty hot again. You must be at your old college weight, aren’t you?”

He grinned at me but then his face got serious. “Sal’s been funny. At first she liked it. Me having more energy and all. I know better than to give you any of what you’d call breeder details, but suffice it to say, she was a happy camper. But after the first fifteen, twenty pounds, she started getting kind of funny about it. I was finding extra sweets in the lunches she was packing for me...three sandwiches instead of two, and the dinners she’s been cooking for me! I felt like I’m being fattened up for sacrifice. A couple weeks ago, she went so far as to ask me, in a very roundabout way, of course, if I were seeing anyone else. Me? Can you believe it?” He laughed at the idea.

I smirked. “Did you tell her, yes, this really hot guy?”

“Actually, those were my exact words,” he chuckled. “You know, for a second, I think she took me seriously? Her face paled and she started looking wildly around the room...probably for a heavy blunt object. I started laughing so hard.” He shook his head at the memory.

Stupid Sally. She deserved to worry after trying to sabotage Joey’s efforts at improving himself, I thought. She was an okay person, but I could see where she suffered from the problem a lot of “nice” women did. She took her man for granted and bitched a bit to “the girls” that he’d let himself go, never thinking about whether she’d given him any reason to stay in shape. But then let him start shaping up and looking good and she starts worrying she has competition. Men do the exact same thing a lot of the time. The first instinct isn’t to join the partner who is improving, the reaction is to make them stop. Or to suspect their motive for starting the self improvement in the first place. Gays are just as fucked up in this respect. Mikey does it to Ben. Mel and Lindsay do it to each other all the time, Lindz more than Mel, I had to admit.

“So did you ever tell her the truth?” I asked casually.

The mulish look Joey used to get once in a while came over his face. “Nah. After this many years, she should know to trust me, don’t you think? Besides, she and the girls are the main reason I’m doing this. They didn’t like me looking like the schlump of the family. Not that Sal said anything, but I could see it in her eyes, you know? And the older girls, they would say things and she wouldn’t stop them. So, let them wonder. It’ll do them good. They’ll find out when I run a marathon or something. That would be cool.” Joey flashed me a grin with his own one sided version of the patented O’Keefe dimpled smile.

I agreed completely. I was just surprised that good-natured Joey saw it that way. Goes to show you even the nicest of men have their breaking point. Maybe Mikey should watch it with Ben.

We continued to walk back towards the school, heading across the soccer field, when we saw some kids in the distance, standing at the edge of the parking lot that ended near the cinder track that encircled the field. In the cool Autumn air the sound of their conversation carried clearly.

We didn’t need to hear the words to understand the dynamics of what was going on. Anyone who’d survived the blackboard jungle, and Joey, he was one of the masters over it these days, knew what was going on just from the positions the kids had assumed. One boy with his back to the cars was facing several others who surrounded him in a semi-circle. Without a word, Joey and I took off for the group but even then, we were too late to prevent the first blows from being thrown at the kid who stood alone.

I wasn’t surprised by how deep, loud, and downright intimidating Joey could sound when his voice bellowed next to me. This was the guy I knew from college, the guy who’d watched my back on many an occasion when other teams took offense at a gay player sharing the field, or the locker rooms, with them.

“The next one to move toward Miller is suspended. Drop to the ground and give me twenty push-ups, NOW! EVERYONE!”

I don’t know that I would have thought to give that order, but it worked. The gang of teens was so startled to hear Coach O’Keefe yelling at them that they reflexively dropped and gave him twenty. Hell, I almost dropped and gave him twenty. Even the poor sucker who’d been the subject of the attack made a game effort to follow the order, which was probably not a bad idea

We reached the boys as they were finishing their push-ups...it doesn’t take kids that age long to do twenty push-ups after all. Plus, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some cheating in the count once they realized that the coach was too far away to know if they really did twenty. But Joey’s steely-eyed look at some of the ones who were already climbing to their feet had them dropping back down to do another twenty without him saying a word. Damn. He was every bit as good as Pat O’Keefe with that glare. Who would have thought my good natured buddy had it in him to be so hardass? I knew he didn’t like bullies and was a great man in a fight but this forceful version of him was something to see.

He waited until all of them were finished and standing again, before asking in a quiet low voice very reminiscent of oldest brother Matt at his sternest, “Who wants to tell me what was going on here?”

“Nothing, Coach,” a chorus of voices answered.

Joey and I each sent an eyebrow flying up – in perfect unison – twin beacons of disbelief. I was standing close to the battered looking loner while Joey was facing the pack, his broad body firmly between the two of us and the group. I had his back, as well as this unknown kid’s side, not that the kid seemed to realize it. He was eying me as suspiciously as he was the rest of the gathering, for all that he was trying to mask his worry under a facade of unconcern. I wanted to tell him not to bother, I’d patented that look when he was still soiling his Pampers.

“Try again,” Joey suggested. “Jones...I saw you take a swing at Miller. You want to tell me what he’s done that justifies the whole team...give or take...ganging up on him like this? He must be one hell of a man, if it takes all of you to subdue him?”

If anything was likely to provoke a response, a taunt like that would.

And one...two...three...

“Miller, too much man? You have got to be kidding Coach.” Jones looked at Joey in exaggerated disbelief, practically spitting his disdain for the idea.

“Yeah? So why do you have half the squad backing you up? Any time I see a guy needing a mob at his back to confront another guy, I see a coward. It takes a real man to face down a gang like this. You ever see anything different, Brian?” In his position between the solitary student and the group, Joey stood tall, his feet planted wide apart, arms folded across his broad chest, and it took me back almost twenty years when a far younger Joey O’Keefe had faced down a large portion of our soccer team when word had gotten out that one of the hot recruits from Pittsburgh was queer. Being a senior, John hadn’t been anywhere around the freshman and JV practice. That didn’t stop Joey from facing down a good half of the freshman and junior varsity squads on my behalf, placing his considerable bulk between them and my far skinnier seventeen year old self. I still remember how mortified I was afterward when I felt compelled to thank him. Fuck, he’d saved my ass, but who wants to be rescued at that age? Especially by your incredibly sexy new roommate? For the first time in ages, I’d felt helpless, hell, I’d felt like I imagined Mikey felt when I had to protect him and it wasn’t a good feeling. At least, it wasn’t for me. But, he’d only shrugged and said he hated bullies. Then he’d invited me out for a beer and proceeded to get so drunk that he needed my brains and silver tongue to get us back into the dorm after curfew without getting into trouble, thus evening the score between us and cementing the friendship.

Hiding my smile, I moved into position to lend Joey my support now, leaning casually against a car, placing the kid named Miller more securely between Joey and me. I spoke in my best hardass voice.

“Yeah, I’ve seen different. Some times it’s not a coward so much as it’s a guy who’s so insecure about his own masculinity that he has to go around trying to butt into everyone else’s business in the hope that it will keep people from paying too much attention to him. Stupid thing is, no one gives a fuck about pathetic jerks like that or who they want to fuck until they start carrying on about other people so much.”

The teens behind Jones started shuffling their feet while Jones turned beet red. Miller, who was bleeding from a cut lip, grinned, but ducked his head down, trying to hide it.

“Good point,” Joey said, nodding his head. “I guess that could be it....”

The Jones kid exploded again. “I can’t believe you’re calling me a fag, Coach!”

I couldn’t believe he followed the innuendo; he didn’t look that bright. I narrowed my eyes, concerned that this kid was actually so lost to common sense that he would take a swing at Joey. He looked nuts and I’d learned from my experience with athletes at this school that they weren’t necessarily playing with a full deck. I’d learned to my everlasting regret from Hobbs, that some kids came equipped with a sense of entitlement that they could do what they wanted to anyone and expect to get away with it. Joey might not understand that, coming from a different background where kids were taught to respect authority figures.

“I’m not calling you anything, Mr. Jones. I am attempting to find out why you and your teammates...and believe me, I am using that term in the most temporary of senses since the actions that I observed have put your status as members of any team of mine in jeopardy...but anyway, the question still remains unanswered as to why you felt justified in attacking Mr. Miller en masse. Since you won’t answer me, I ....”

Again, the kid interrupted Joey. Not a smart kid.

“Miller tried getting it on with Drake, Seth’s brother, that is, Dean. We saw them kissing. Dean isn’t a fag, so it had to have been Miller. We’re taking care of the problem for him. That’s only right. We can’t have a guy on the team molesting other players.”

It was easy to tell who the “poor victim” Drake was–he was the pretty looking boy, standing between two of the bigger soccer players. He was looking everywhere but at Miller or Joey. I glanced at Miller and saw that he was keeping his eyes studiously away from the kid whom Joey looked over at, the one I’d tagged as Drake, but his eyes were suspiciously bright.

Yeah kid, they’ll throw you to the wolves as soon as kiss you. May as well learn that lesson young.

But, how was Joey going to handle this? He certainly knew the kids better than I did, yet even so, his next step took me by surprise.

“So...you saw two guys kissing? That’s what caused this? Fuck, you are Neanderthals. So big deal if they kissed! I have trouble believing that’s what caused you all to start a lynch mob. Dean, you never told this gang that Tony attacked you, did you?” Joey’s tone was now amused, his body language relaxed. I felt rather than saw the boy next to me perk up a bit. I moved forward just to help block him from view, thinking it might give him some more time to compose himself.

“No, sir. Seth and Jerry just assumed...they didn’t listen to me...I tried to tell them it was just goofing around....”

The bigger boy next to the kid Drake, who looked like a larger, rougher version of him, pulled him toward him. “What do you mean, Dean? How do you end up being kissed by another guy and have it not be what it looked like?”

The kid shot a panicked look over at us.

Joey snorted loudly, then asked, “Are you telling me that you honestly were ready to beat the shit out of your teammate, your brother’s friend, because you’re so rigid as to think guys can’t be straight and kiss other guys just on a whim or a dare or because they get goofing around? For pete’s sake, my whole family must be gay then.”

“I don’t believe you, Coach. No guys kiss like the way they were kissing.”

Now, the truth is, Joey was pushing it here. I knew it. He knew it. And at the very least, this kid Miller probably knew it. But, it was also clear to me that Joey wanted the chance to talk to Miller and the other kid alone, find out if they were ready to be outed, before trying to force gay tolerance on their teammates. So, this was the out he was giving them. It was weak, but it was something. And hell, his brothers do kiss men, Emmett leaves them no choice.

Which left me with only one choice, as I saw the plea those green eyes were sending me....

Tongue or no tongue?

“You mean like this?” I asked, stepping forward to answer the call, and placing a hand on the back of Joey’s head to make sure we didn’t mess it up, I planted a kiss on the O’Keefe lips that I’ve known the longest, if not the best.

It was a damn good kiss, if I do say so myself. I just grazed his lips with my tongue though, not even trying to gain entry, but I maintained a decent amount of pressure for the requisite time to make it look good. As I slowly lifted my head, I saw those moss green eyes look back at me mischievously and he whispered, “So that’s what my little brother’s been enjoying all this time?”

I laughed lightly but then remembered our adolescent audience and stepped back. A dozen sets of teenage eyes were staring at us dumbfounded. A few looked rather turned on. So much for Miller being the only fag on the team, I thought. The younger Drake, what was his first name, Dean? He was staring at us, his eyes opened as wide as a pair of eyes could go.

Joey clapped his hands together loudly. “Okay, let’s break up this little gathering. I’m going to talk privately with each of you to try clearing this up, but it seems to me that this whole event was triggered by some people,” he paused and looked pointedly at Jones and Drake’s older brother, whatever his name was, “making assumptions...stupid assumptions. Now, there is nothing wrong with people living their lives the way they choose, and anyone who thinks they have the right to beat someone up because that other person is gay, straight, black, white, purple, or Irish, can start with taking me on.” Joey cracked his knuckles at that point, always a nice touch when done by someone of his height and girth. “And then we’ll have a talk about tolerance. But for now, let me just say it’s even stupider when your intolerance is based on what my lawyer brother calls circumstantial evidence. Now go run ten laps...not you, Miller, we need to get that lip iced. Drakes, both of you, and Jones, you three report to my office after eighth period please. And Dean?”

“Yes, Coach?” The pretty faced one hung back as the others took off, glad to get away from the Coach who’d gone back to being all business.

“We’re going to have a talk about standing up for one’s friends..and to one’s family. I want you to come to me before eighth period. I believe you have study hall sixth period?”

Drake looked over at Miller, who had his head down again. “Yes, sir. I’ll be there. And...I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one you should be saying that to,” Joey said sternly.

“I guess I wasn’t saying it to you, sir.” Drake waited but Miller didn’t give any indication he was going to respond, so Joey gently shoved pretty boy off to start his laps.

“Well, I guess I’ll leave you now. You going to be okay with this?” I indicated the silent boy who was huddling into his sweatshirt as though trying to disappear. Joey had a worried frown on his normally cheerful face.

“What? Oh, sure, Tony and I will be fine. We’re just going to go break into the nurse’s office and steal some band-aids or something. You must need to go to your office. Thanks for the run...and all the rest. Almost like old times, huh?”

“What? The kissing?” I smirked at him and he winked back at me.

“Nah, that must have been like a dream come true for you. Man, am I ever going to get hell for that from the team. Come on, Tony, I might need you to protect me later. Pretty good punching you were doing, by the way. Much better than Brian used to do. Let me tell you about the time....”

With a wave, Joey headed off towards the school, a friendly arm over the shoulders of his young charge.

I headed toward my car. Neither of us noticed the cluster of cheerleaders that had been standing near the school watching the whole incident. We especially didn’t notice any men with cameras nearby either.

 

**********************

(Later that same evening, Danny’s townhouse)

“Briana’s asleep, Emmett called to say he would be spending the night at Ted’s place...whatever will we do with the place to ourselves?” Danny came over and straddled my lap.

“Hmm, I’m getting a few ideas...keep moving like that,” I murmured. “I do like those sweatpants on you. Must be why I never made you give them back. How long has it been now since you’ve ‘borrowed’ them?”

That delicious deep chuckle of his rumbled against my throat as he pressed kisses along my neck. “Were these your pants? I thought they were mine. They fit me so well....but...if...you want to...take them...back....” He punctuated each pause with a small bite across my neck, followed by a soothing kiss, while he ground his hips against me, the thin cloth of the pants providing practically no barrier at all. I reached around and grabbed his firm ass.

“No, I think these pants have found their rightful home on your tight little ass. Though the front is beginning to wear pretty thin from the lovely way you rub that cock of yours against me...we might need to patch it someday just to keep you decent.”

“I thought you liked me indecent,” he suggested, batting his lashes at me in an exaggerated way, camping it up.

“You’re incorrigible tonight.”

“I’m horny tonight. There’s a slight difference, not much, but a slight one,” he insisted, sliding down between my legs and tonguing my abs, his hands caressing along my ribs. I loved him like this. Playful, carefree...hot. Danny worked so hard, we both did really, but I was readier than he was to take it easy when the work day was over. He was such an overachiever he didn’t always understand the concept of relaxing. He was learning, though, and like anything else he did, when he did relax, he did it extremely well.

I was rock hard in seconds. He hadn’t even reached my cock yet with that tongue of his, but he was getting close. Only a couple more inches to go. Of course, that’s when the fucking doorbell rang.

“Ignore it,” he suggested. “They’ll go away eventually.” He was kneeling on the floor, and was busy undoing my jeans. I wasn’t about to distract him by arguing with him.

Until the pounding on the door started, that is. And I heard Joey’s voice.

“Come on, Bri and Danny, I know you two are in there. Let me in, I need to talk to you.”

Danny’s hands stilled and he leaned back on his heels. “Damn, what’s gotten into him? He doesn’t sound drunk.” He looked at me, perplexed.

I shrugged and gave Danny a hand up. Not that he needed it but I wanted to pull him close for a kiss before he went over to the door to let in Joey. I knew he’d need the reassurance. If there was one big thorn in our relationship on his side, it was his family responsibilities. They didn’t bother me as much as he worried that they did–I actually was glad he had something on his side to help balance out some of the shit on my side–but there was no harm in assuaging his concerns before he got all worked up about it.

“Hey, Joey, what’s the matter, you look....” Danny had barely opened the door before Joey came storming past him and walked directly into the kitchen to the refrigerator.

“Help yourself to a beer,” Danny called after him, walking in and flopping down onto the sofa next to me. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “Do you know what the hell is going on? That was Joey, right? Not Jamie or John?”

“Far as I could tell. Too short for Jamie, too broad for John, must have been Joey,” I answered flippantly, although I was beginning to be a bit worried. I could hear Joey gulping down a beer, which he hadn’t been doing since he started his diet over two months ago. When I heard the second one open, I called out to him.

“You drinking alone or are you coming out here to join us?”

There was a pause and then we could hear him take a deep breath, like he had to steel himself to come out and join us. This was very un-Joey-like behavior. While he is generally easy-going, like any O’Keefe, Joey has a temper, especially when it comes to his siblings’ teasing or something that is unfair, but generally he can get over it quicker than the time it takes to open a beer, much less drink one. Danny told me his usual method for dealing with Joey in a temper was just to outrun him long enough to give him time to cool down. After chasing his smaller, faster brother in circles for a while, Joey would usually start laughing and give up on whatever got him mad in the first place.

This temper looked like it would take something more. I could see that Danny was searching his mind for anything he might have done to piss Joey off.

“Joe, what is it that’s got you in a lather? ‘Tis not like you to go storming around! ‘Tis like Jamie or John, you know, have I offended you in some way?” Danny’s slight brogue had actually appeared, he was that upset about Joey being upset.

“For fuck’s sake, of course you haven’t done anything, Danny! Don’t be so quick to take the blame for everything!” I told Danny as I glared at Joey, placing a comforting arm on Danny’s shoulder.

Joey cut me off, his eyes flashing.

“Don’t you be so quick to assume he isn’t to blame! At least partially. You did, in fact, give my wife money several weeks ago, didn’t you? A fairly large sum of money?” Joey was staring at Danny as angrily as I’d ever seen him look at this brother of his. It was rather unnerving. I gripped Danny’s shoulder and would have told Joey off again but Danny looked at me and shook his head, warning me to be still. He spoke softly, almost as though he were trying to calm a frightened animal, his beautiful voice soothing and low as he answered, the brogue still barely discernable when he started.

“I did, Joey lad, but I didn’t say anythin’ t’ ye simply because Sally said 'twas for a surprise for ye. I’m sorry if it caused problems between the two of ye, or between the two of us....I know ye don’t like me givin’ your family money but she said...well, I don’t know that she ever did say what she was getting ye. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done something I knew ye wouldn’t like.”

Joey slumped back in his chair and closed his eyes. “No, it isn’t your fault, Danny boy. This is purely my problem. Mine and Sally’s. It would just be nice if I could blame someone else.”

For once, Danny didn’t even blink at being called Danny boy. He looked at me helplessly and motioned toward Joey, as if to say, “You do something.”

As if I understood breeder couples.

With a sigh, I got up and walked over to Joey’s chair and sat down on the arm of it. It was the traditional Jamie and Daphne chair so there was plenty of room for two in it but I decided this was not the time to squish in next to him. When I heard what the problem was between him and Sally, I realized that I made a good choice. I punched him lightly on the arm.

“You do realize that you are being uncharacteristically cryptic for you, old roomie of mine, so if Danny and I are to help you, we need a little more info. Before you get any more beer into you, preferably. What is the problem between you and Sally that somehow is connected to her borrowing money from Danny?”

The phone rang just as Joey pulled a manila envelope from his jacket’s inside pocket. He shook his head and hissed at Danny, “I’m not here!” Raising his eyebrow again, Danny answered it on speakerphone.

“Hey, Danny here.”

“Danny, it’s Matt. Is Joey with you?”

Joey shook his head again and Danny rolled his eyes but looking at himself on the floor in front of the sofa and the two of us on the chair, he grinned and answered, “Nah, I’m sitting here all alone, why?”

We could hear Matt exhaling, as though in frustration and I could hear the noise of other people in the background, which he was obviously trying to block. Mary Kate’s voice was heard next, sounding suspicious.

“Why do you have the phone on speaker, Danny?”

Danny bit his lip then bent down to touch his toes quickly. He made his voice sound exasperated, as he answered, “I’m doing stretches, Mary Kate. What the fuck is this? You guys call me up and start giving me the third degree? Why are you looking for Joey and what business is it of yours what I’m doing? If I choose to jack off and use the speaker phone I really don’t see...”

Good boy, silence them with a good offense, I thought, smirking at him. The sounds of the phone being grabbed back from the outraged Mary Kate almost made the upset Joey start laughing. I had to cover his face with one of the handy pillows Daphne uses to hit Jamie with.

“That’s enough, Danny. Your sister simply asked a question, no need to be vulgar.” John was on the phone now, fuck, they must be having quite a pow wow somewhere. At least he sounded amused. I took a moment to open the envelope that Joey had tossed on the table. “We need to locate Joey since he left here pretty upset and Sally, well, she’s made some pretty serious accusations that need to be straightened out. Accusations about Joey and Brian.”

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph!”

“Danny?”

In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have spread the photos out in front of Danny before finding out what they were. Just in case, you know, they happened to include a close-up of Joey and me kissing. A kiss which happened to look a hell of a lot more intimate through a telephoto lens than it had felt.

I looked from the picture to Joey to Danny, who, after shouting the names of the Holy family, looked back at the two of us, started biting the side of his hand to keep from making a sound, his eyes sparkling, hopefully not with tears. The other pictures were of Joey and me running, standing by my car, eating lunch, laughing.

Hell, we looked like a couple. A damn good looking couple, but a couple.

“Danny, you okay?” John called Danny’s name a second time. I saw Danny swallow hard.

“Yeah, John. I was just distracted by something here, some guy on guy stuff. ..and no, Mary Kate, I’m not telling you what it was. It’s not to your taste. Hey, it just occurred to me, you must have me on speaker phone too! Pot, kettle!” He winked at me. Joey rolled his eyes and slumped back in the chair. Still, I think he was relieved to see that Danny at least was not troubled by the photos.

“Very amusing, Danny, and we’ll let you get back to your evening’s activities, but,” you could hear the phone click and John must have taken it off speaker and walked away from the others. “Danny, I don’t know what all is going on, but Sally has been here hysterical over this story of hers. Mark is trying to calm her down but she’s threatening to go home to her mother with the girls, and Mary Beth is not being particularly helpful, if you know what I mean. The thing is...well, the thing is...., damn, I don’t know how to say this without upsetting you.....”

Danny looked up at Joey and me and there was so much love in his eyes that I had to blink fast to stop my own damn eyes from tearing up.

“John, tell me this, assuming for a second that I know what’s up...do you believe what Sally is saying?”

“Not in a million years,” came the prompt answer.

“Always knew you were my smart brother,” Danny told him. “Now put me back on speaker phone and let me talk to my darling family, including my sister-in-law if she’s still in the house somewhere, whom I am now guessing got money from me to hire a private detective to trail Joey. I can’t believe she told me it was for a surprise for Joey and I thought she was getting him a present!”

We waited a second for John to rejoin the crew on his end and for him to send someone to get Mark and Sally. I was pissed off to think that a P.I. had been following me. I guess Sally’s paranoia over Joey’s slimmer form didn’t stop at trying to sabotage his diet, but went much farther than he’d realized. It was so strange, given that she was a very attractive woman for her age. She’d been a cheerleader in college, and one of the most sought after girls on campus at Penn State. She’d played hard to get for years but no one was surprised that, when Joey O’Keefe was ready to settle down, Sally Duggan was ready to be caught. They married shortly after graduation and started having children right away.

Danny cleared his throat and asked if he had everyone’s attention.

“Very funny, Danny. I think if you get the chance to see what some of us have seen....”

Danny cut off his oldest sister.

“Actually, Mary Beth, I have. Joey was kind enough to leave a set of these photos that I was tricked into paying for on my coffee table. And I intend to have words with Sally over using my money to spy on my brother and my lover...and incidentally, anyone stupid enough to think these pictures show anything but two men who are friends hasn’t been paying attention, when two men who are lovers kiss each other or stand close to each other or do any number of other activities together. This private dick must have tried damn hard to get something incriminating to earn his pay and this was the best he could do? He would have gotten more between Brian and Johnny. Hell, or John, probably.” That comment surprised a laugh out of Matt and a growl out of John to ‘mind your own business’ when Mary Kate asked him what Johnny and Brian had to do with each other.

Danny continued, his voice deepening. “Joey is the most faithful man in the world, and nothing, not a thousand words nor ten thousand pictures, will ever convince me that he is cheating on his wife. And, despite any doubts that any of you may harbor, I know that Brian loves me. We have a relationship that works for us. It isn’t your type of relationship, but then, it doesn’t have to be. After all, the government doesn’t allow us to marry so the question of whether our partnership fits your ideas of monogamy and fidelity is moot...it works for us. That’s what’s important to us. And since you all seem to think this is an open question, it does not include having affairs with blood relatives, and I don’t even need to ask Brian about this because I have seen him and Joey together since I was a child and I know, know, like I know each of you, that they see each other as brothers. So, yes, love can be seen in that kiss, but it isn’t eros love, it is agape love. And probably a lesson in brotherly love was being given, if I am right in judging the background as the St. James playing field and there’s some athletes blurred out in the background. I think Sally had better start working on her apologies to Joey, Brian and me. I can tell her right now if she takes those girls anywhere, Joey has my money to count on to hire the best divorce lawyer in the state to fight her.”

Damn. I looked at Joey expecting to see him rejecting that stance but his face was stern.

John’s voice came back. “Sally is now leaving the room but your message appears to have been received....and if you see Joey, give him my support, and Micky’s, okay?”

“Mine too,” Mark’s voice could be heard calling from somewhere else. “I’ve got Sally in another room now, and when you see Joey again, tell him I think I can talk some sense into her. At least she isn’t leaving anywhere tonight.”

“Of course the youngster has our support! There was no reason to go running off upset! That would be as bad as Sally is acting, well, no, he’d never be as bad as that, but, well, just tell him we love him. And yeah, we love your Brian too, though I wish he’d keep his kisses limited to you, whatever you call them, eros, agape, or, jeez, thank God it wasn’t French.” That was Matt’s voice.

“Pfft, he can kiss anyone he wants, no one screams when he kisses us! Double standard, that’s what’s wrong with you all.” That was Mary Kate’s brisk offering, somewhat surprisingly, although maybe not. She loved being contrary. Danny laughed. “Okay, baby brother, I know you think we’re all stupid here, but more of us than John have a brain sometimes. So, Joey, Brian, I too accept that the two of you, and yes, I am fully confident you two are sitting there somewhere in the room that our young word parser can count as not with him. Anyway, I concede, Danny is right, you two have been like brothers too long to start fooling around. But, you’ve started a gossip storm with your shenanigans. Did you stop to notice that Cathy was across the field with the cheerleaders when you did your liplock? As well as a few cousins? That was bad enough and of course silly Sally made matters worse instead of telling the kid it was nothing. There are too many O’Keefe kids to be affected by this if you don’t get it fixed pronto, not just your own, Joey, but all the rest. Staying with Danny won’t work, we’ll have people saying you’re in a menage’ so move into John’s for now. Or come over to my place, I’d love to have you. We’ll work this out. Oh, and I love you too.”

John’s voice came back. “I’ll be over soon. Enjoy the rest of your ‘stretches’ Danny, while I try to calm things further here.”

Danny said good-bye and disconnected the line.

I looked down at the two of them and lifted my shoulders. “Well, that was a roller coaster of an O’Keefe conversation...even among your family, it must rank among the top ten for emotionally fraught discussions.”

Danny wrinkled his brow. “I don’t know if I agree. There were some pretty bad ones back when Angel was going off to New York and I was ‘turning gay.’ What do you think, Joey?”

“Hmm? Oh, you’re right, when you compare it to those two seismic events, my marriage falling apart is a mere blip on the O’Keefe landscape. If I hadn’t been kissed by Brian and brought the titillating aspect of possible homosexual activity into the mix, I’m sure a family caucus wouldn’t have been needed at all.”

Damn, who would have thought Joey could sound this bitter? I was torn between the look of hurt in Danny’s eyes and the pain I heard in Joey’s voice, but seeing the way Danny looked at his brother, I decided the best way to ease his hurt would be to help Joey.

“Joey, no one in this room is minimizing your situation. I think you and I have to give Danny more of the story of what’s been going on. I at least had some idea from what you told me earlier that Sally has been feeling insecure since you’ve lost weight and toned up.”

“I’m sorry, Joey, but Brian is right. Could I maybe know what is going on? Why have you two been meeting like this? With the full understanding that I don’t think it was to fuck around behind my back?” Danny looked up at Joey meekly from his position on the floor, where he sat with his arms loosely clasping his knees.

Joey smiled ruefully. “I’m being a prima donna here, aren’t I? You just gave that stirring speech in my favor, in the face of those damning pictures, getting the others to rally to my support as well, and I didn’t say one word of thanks. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m sorry. I’ve been borrowing Brian for weeks now. And yeah, it’s been behind your back and Sally’s back too for that matter, but not for any illicit reason. Damn, I can’t believe she would believe that for a second, so that’s my excuse for not being properly appreciative for you not believing it.”

“You still haven’t told him what we have been doing, Joe.” I felt the need to steer Joey back on track. He was capable of wallowing now that he was to the point of feeling guilty. I’d seen this side of him before and there was no need for him to do it on Danny’s behalf; Danny was quick to forgive when he was satisfied the person deserved his forgiveness. In this case, I don’t think he’d even been upset with Joey so much as for Joey.

“Oh yeah. Probably better slow down on these beers. I’m out of practice with them. Anyway, I asked Brian a couple months back to help me get back into shape, training and exercising. The dieting I’d been doing on my own. Well, on my own with Weight Watchers.”

Danny whistled. “Wow. So that’s why you look so great! Good for you for taking those steps. But why the secrecy? I would’ve been glad to help you! We could’ve gone to the pool together, and worked out up in the studio and Emmett could’ve make you incredible fat free high protein meals .... ”

Joey looked self-conscious and I squeezed his shoulder to let him know I would handle this one. I interrupted Danny’s excited description of the exercise and diet regimen he would have planned for his brother.

“Hold it right there, Mr. Feel the Burn.” Danny flushed and Joey laughed. I continued, “There’s your answer, in your very enthusiasm, as over the top as it is well-intentioned. Joey wasn’t looking for a stomach Daphne could use to study for her anatomy finals, or a diet that only a masochist would want to eat. He wanted to get into normal healthy straight guy shape. Not cruise the backrooms shape.”

“I thought you liked my shape,” Danny grumbled, pouting his bottom lip out. I should tease him more often, I thought as I forced myself to think about something other than pouncing on him. Of course, teasing was just as likely to provoke a pissed off reaction as a fuckably cute one. You never could tell with him.

“I love your shape, but we’ve already established that my love was not one of the goals Joey was looking for from his get in shape program. Or my lust. So, once Joey was already on his way to losing his spare tire with Weight Watchers, he came and asked me to be his work-out buddy, pretty much as we were back in the old days. To keep him motivated. Just running and doing some free weight training.”

“Okay, I can see why you wouldn’t ask my help. I do get carried away,” Danny conceded sheepishly, “and the same goes for John. But you couldn’t even tell us?”

Joey grimaced. “At first, I just wanted to make sure I stuck with it before I told anyone. I didn’t want anyone butting in with advice or the kind of unsolicited help they all give. Or, to tell you the truth, any joking if I failed. Brian just kind of goes along with it. I knew he wouldn’t get all emotionally invested in it.”

Danny started to assure him that of course no one would have done that but he couldn’t get it out. Honesty kept him from saying it. The truth was, the O’Keefe's loved each other but the teasing was harsh and they assumed that all the rest had thick skins. Fail at anything and you’d be given no quarter. But in its way, the caring was almost worse, it was so smothering. You couldn’t do anything without having someone breathing down your neck. When Danny got hurt in the accident, the help with his rehabilitation was great in many ways, but within weeks it was driving him insane. He couldn’t wait to leave Pittsburgh and get away from them all. I knew exactly what Joey meant and knew Danny did too.

What Joey didn’t know, although I suspected Danny did, was that I cared a hell of a lot more than I ever let on– I just knew better than to smother a person with it. The quick smile Danny sent me now told me he was on to my secret. I looked away, not wanting to admit to anything. After a moment, I cleared my throat and tried to offer Joey some encouragement.

“Sally is being stupid, Joey. A good night’s sleep and she’ll realize that she’s being an idiot. She has to know you would never cheat on her. ”

“I don’t know what she knows anymore, Bri. I would have said she would never hire a private detective and send him snooping around after me but look what she’s done. I guess she got the idea from John hiring that guy to catch Carol in the act. After all, John didn’t try talking to her about his suspicions, did he? For that matter, he was happy that she was doing it since he sure didn’t want the marriage any more. He just got the evidence, got rid of her and moved on, one, two, three.”

Joey’s voice was cold. Danny was biting his lip. Danny had never liked John’s second wife Carol and had made no secret of being thrilled when John divorced her and got back together with his first wife. So, Joey’s criticism of how John went about it caused an awkward silence. I guess he had a point. Damn, this is the reason why I’d always thought marriages were a fucking waste. Most couples were just miserable if you scratched beneath the happy surface. Even Joey and Sally, a couple I’d thought were pretty well-suited and happy with each other for the past fifteen years had these problems and they’d come bubbling to the surface the minute one of them rocked the boat. Still, for my lover’s sake, since I knew that he did believe in love and marriage for all that he acted like he was so sophisticated, I felt like I had to say something in support of these forever after kinds of love.

“You aren’t John,” I reminded my old buddy. “You are a one woman man and you love your wife and kids. This misunderstanding with Sally will get worked out. You’ve got fifteen years of good marriage to fall back on and you can’t tell me you haven’t learned something about working out misunderstandings in all those years. More importantly, you know that woman, what makes her tick, what makes her happy and what makes her unhappy. You probably can figure out what made her so insecure that she went to the extreme length of hiring a private eye in the first place. And by the way, kiddo, what in the world did you think she was getting for Joey with that kind of money? You must have known he wouldn’t take a car as a present.”

Danny mumbled something under his breath as he flopped onto his back on the floor.

Joey lost it. “What was that, Danny boy? I couldn’t quite hear you? You wouldn’t have let her buy a car, would you? Was it that kind of money? Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I had no idea it was that much! How am I going to pay that back? You had to have known that would piss me off! When I think that all I was trying to do was get into shape to make her and the girls proud....” He buried his head in his hands.

I couldn’t tell who looked more miserable, Joey or Danny.

“Fuck, Joey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think it was so terrible! And of course I wouldn’t have given her money for a car when you’ve never let me buy you a car. But I can’t accept the money back from you; it was a gift to Sally that was supposed to be for you. Well, I really thought, well, I kind of thought...I knew you were looking so much better and I assumed Sally realized that too so I thought, damn, I really screwed up, but I’m sorry and I never meant to do you harm like this.” Danny had his arm over his face now too.

“Danny, what the fuck did you think it was for?” I was truly curious by this point.

From the small part of his face that wasn’t covered by hair or arm, I could see that Danny was blushing too. I reached down and parted some of the hair and he peeked out, looking at me helplessly. Having hired private eyes in the past, I knew they weren’t cheap, so I had more of a clue than Joey did of how much Danny must have given Sally but I really couldn’t imagine what he thought it would have been for if not a new car.

Joey was looking more curious than miserable now, which was an improvement . “Seriously, Danny, what the hell was it that you thought she was doing with the money if she didn’t come out and tell you it was for spying on me and she didn’t say it was for a car, but she got that much money out of you?”

Hiding his face, Danny mumbled into his folded arms, “Nenkes”

“And that makes everything crystal clear,” I said sarcastically. “Would you mind repeating that in English?”

Heaving a deep sigh, Danny moved his arm away and looking up at the ceiling, he said very slowly and clearly, “I gave her enough money to buy Joey a completely new wardrobe of clothes.” When we didn’t say a word...we were dumbfounded...he elaborated. “All of his things are now way too big for him. He obviously needs all new things to fit his new slimmer build and he never spends any money on himself so I thought she was going to treat him to a complete makeover. I even offered to help her shop. She must have been laughing at me.”

Joey’s expression softened. “No lad, only laughing at me. For trying to turn myself into a new man, I guess. But I assure you, buying me new things is the last thing that would have occurred to her.”

I frowned. “I don’t see where you get that, Joe. Sally obviously is afraid she is losing you even without the makeover of new clothes. She thinks you are an attractive, desirable man in your old, baggy clothes–and, by the way, Danny is right, you do need all new things. You should let him treat you to that wardrobe to make up for his ill-considered gift to your wife.”

“How do you figure that? That just makes me doubly in his debt!” Joey exclaimed.

“No, the first amount was without your knowledge and caused problems. He didn’t mean for it to do so, but it did, so he owes you. Danny will feel terrible about that unless and until you give him some way to make it up to you. This is the way you can do that. Let him buy you the new clothes...but let me help you pick them out. His taste in designer stuff is too high fashion, mine is more classic.”

“I can pick good clothes for Joey!” Danny protested, his mood picking up at the idea of a major shopping spree, just as I knew it would..

“You’d put him in leathers and lame, like that Dolce and Gabbana stuff you love, I’ll put him in real man clothes, Hugo Boss and Polo by Lauren. He’ll look fantastic.”

Joey looked at the two of us and just shrugged. “Fine. Whatever. Somehow, I’m to believe that it makes it up to Danny for my wife ripping him off for thousands of dollars for me to take him for that amount also?”

“It would make me feel much better,” Danny nodded his head vigorously.

“Fine. I’m too tired to argue with the two of you.”

Danny smiled angelically at him. I was relieved to see Joey smile back at him.

“I love you, Joey,” Danny added, going over and giving him a hug.

“I love you too, brat. It does mean a lot to me that you never questioned that Brian and I wouldn’t...well, you know.” Then he punched Danny on the shoulder, just to restore testosterone levels in the room. And I don’t mean lightly. “Or was it just that you didn’t think I was hot enough to be any competition for you?”

Danny smiled crookedly. “Oh, you’re hot enough now, and I think you know it. And I think you also know that picture did give me a bit of a surprise, in fact. But, I know you. I also know Brian and as much as he might find you attractive, he does care a lot about you as his friend. Too much to make a casual sexual encounter possible. Anything truly sexual that happened between you two wouldn’t be casual so he wouldn’t explore it in the first place for the same reason you wouldn’t...you already have a partner you love.”

Joey nodded thoughtfully at that. John arrived soon after and we all agreed we were too tired for any more group discussion that evening. The two older brothers headed over to John’s place, with Joey agreeing to meet me the next day for shopping and lunch. Danny and I headed to the bedroom. Finally.

Danny was uncharacteristically quiet as he undressed and got ready for bed. I watched him for a few minutes as he went through the nightly ritual of brushing his long hair, then I pulled him into my arms. Taking the brush from him, I started making long, slow strokes through the thick waves of black hair, always a guaranteed method for relaxing him and encouraging talk.

“So, our visitor was pretty much a mood killer, wouldn’t you say?” I finally initiated the talk when he remained quiet after several minutes went by. As I pulled the brush through his hair, I couldn’t help admiring its rich glossiness. I loved doing this but rarely got the chance. To be honest, I rarely took the time, there were so many other fun things to do in bed. I really should make a point to do this more often, though, he was practically purring in delight.

“Mmm, you’re doing a good job at creating a new mood,” he murmured, settling back closer against my chest. “I can’t help feeling bad about Joey and Sally. I thought they were completely happy. I didn’t see this coming. Obviously, since I really did think Sally wanted to do something nice for Joey, God, I feel like such a sucker. Here he is working out and dieting, doing all that to make himself look good for her. You know it’s got to be for her because Joey never gave a damn what he looked like. He was always happy with himself, and there she is, spying on him behind his back.”

“Well, it doesn’t do any good to spy on someone to his face,” I pointed out, but he wasn’t amused. He turned, glaring over his shoulder. I tried again, seeing that he really was taking this hard.

“It isn’t easy for anyone to know what’s going on in someone else’s relationship, Danny, so you shouldn’t feel guilty that you didn’t realize everything wasn’t rosy in Joey’s. And it wasn’t, I get the feeling there were little cracks long before this, but he was trying,” I offered, thinking of what Joey had told me about how Sally didn’t defend him to their girls. Danny would’ve felt terrible if he’d known how the request for him to appear for career day for Joey’s eldest had come about. I knew that Danny had the highest respect for Joey’s profession as a teacher and was very proud of him choosing ideals over money. He would have given his niece a piece of his mind for putting down her father for a little extra weight when Joey lived and breathed for those girls.

I used to tease him but the truth was, Joey was very smart and had been a top student despite his easy-going ways. He could have had his pick of jobs in private industry upon graduation, having double majored in economics and education, but instead he chose to teach. He has a masters in education and is well on his way to a doctorate but he’s not interested in advancing into administration, where the bigger money is. He really loves teaching kids. It’s what he’s great at doing. He accepts the vice principal positions since those involve working with the kids; he calls it, the “enforcer” job, but his real gift is reaching kids. Like today. Whether it’s in the classroom or the playing field, Joey works wonders with kids. His “superstar” kid brother sees that and honors him for it. He’s the one who’s told me so much about Joey’s current life. Joey doesn’t talk about it much. Thanks to Danny, I’ve been able to draw him out about it on our runs, but I’ve been pretty impressed with my old soccer buddy as a man. I know that Danny is too, and that he would be horrified to know that Joey’s own family doesn’t appreciate him and wishes that he were more like Danny.

I wondered if I should tell Danny some of the problems Joey was having with his wife and kids, especially the kids. My loyalty to Joey kept me silent despite Danny’s concern. He must have sensed my unease, as he twisted around to look at me.

“I don’t fully understand why Joey kept his self improvement campaign such a secret from me. But more than that, why were you kissing him today? I trust you, please understand that. But I can’t help wondering what has been going on for the past several weeks. I can see why you didn’t ask me, but you could have told me. Something tells me this whole flap-up is going to get messier before it gets better. It might be a good idea for me to know more and not be in the dark so much?”

I kissed the curly head I’d been brushing.

“Joey told you, he’s been getting into shape. I do think he wanted to surprise everyone, including you. The thing with the kiss, that actually was a completely separate thing. That was supposed to be demonstrating to the kids on his soccer squad some idea of buddy type friendliness. You actually guessed most of it just from looking at the picture so we forgot all about telling you.”

Danny raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow as high as it could go...I can do it well but he has the whole eyebrow raising thing down to a fine art. I smirked at him.

“Don’t give me that look. I feel like I should do a Maxwell Smart and ask, ‘Would you believe I was searching his mouth for loose change?’” I did my best Don Adams imitation and won a crooked smile. Got the eyebrow to come down too.

“Does that make me Agent 99?” He grinned.

“You have the hair for it.”

He rolled over on top of me, pinning my arms up above my head.

“Okay, so you had to kiss my brother because the evil forces of KAOS were threatening our fair city. I’m skeptical but I accept that you two were never known for your brilliant plans and you probably always wanted to lay one on him, so a flimsy excuse is better than no excuse at all....”

“Hey! I object!”

“Overruled.”

“You spend too much time around lawyers,” I complained.

“Speaking of which, if I ever see any pictures of you kissing my lawyer brother, I’m suing for alienation of affection. You tell him that.”

“You’re the only one I want to kiss,” I assured him, leaning up to prove it.

“Eww, breeder breath,” he murmured as our lips met, causing me to sputter with laughter. Then the kiss deepened. He pressed closer to me, our bodies aligned from shoulders to hips, his legs wrapped around mine.

“Mo gra’, I want to feel you in me,” he whispered, his voice at his deepest.

There was no more talk of brothers or breeders for the rest of the night.
 

**********************

(Setting: Liberty Diner, the next day)

I looked across the table at Joey and frowned. He really had lost a lot of weight. Of course, there’s nothing like a sleepless night to emphasize a person’s gauntness. A couple months ago there’d been a hint of a double chin beneath his perpetual smile. Now, his mouth was pulled down at the corners, something I’d hardly ever seen on him, but his jawline was lean, and his cheekbones sharply defined. He was getting as many admiring looks as John or Jamie ever did.

“You and John tried talking with Sally this morning?” I pushed some coffee across to him. Kiki had brought it over right away but at a look from me, spared us the sparkling waitress chatter, just told us to wave when we were ready to order. Thank God Debbie wasn’t working this shift.

“At his suggestion, I tried calling her. She wouldn’t talk to me. So he got on and after he talked to her for a while, explained things, she said she ‘needed time to think about it.’ Which is total bullshit. I haven’t done anything wrong. She knows it too. I suspect she’s feeling stupid and rather than admit that, she needs to play the victim long enough that there’s a presumption that I must be guilty, why else am I begging forgiveness? Forget that. How can I let my girls think that I’ve cheated on their mother? With their uncle’s partner? For that matter, I need to speak to Cathy, but of course, she’s keeping her away, claiming she’s traumatized. Which is also bullshit, because if I know my Cathy, she’s adoring all the drama.”

I completely agreed with him but I suspected I wasn’t supposed to. After all, I wasn’t the number one authority on marriage or relationships. Joey gave me a cockeyed grin.

“By the way, I’m not supposed to be meeting you like this. My lawyer suggested that we only meet with him or Danny, or someone else around as chaperones. I called Danny and told him I was having lunch with you here in plain view of dozens of gays and did he want to come join us but he begged off, claiming a sensitive stomach. He told me to tell John if he insists on us having a duenna, he can do it. Danny doesn’t have the cast iron digestive system the rest of us have.”

“He loves me so,” I sighed heavily.

“Yeah. I also think he’s busy visiting Sally and reaming her out over the P.I. I wish he’d make her pay him back in baby-sitting...until Briana is eighteen.”

I brightened at that idea. “Suggest that to him?” I asked, hopefully.

“It’s the least I can do,” Joey said solemnly. “I’d offer to help but I’ll be too busy working a second job at Matt’s pub, making money to pay him back....”

I shook my head. “Joe, you know Danny doesn’t want any of that money back. He was sick about it last night, thinking it was all his fault. You know how he gets.”

“I know. But it wasn’t his fault, well, not really. No, it really wasn’t.” Joey seemed unsure at first and I wondered if I was going to have to knock his head into the wall but he looked at me sheepishly.

“I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry, I’m not blaming the kid for being too generous. And I know it’s hard on my wife and kids, when the others who can’t afford the things the more affluent members of the family can, simply go to Danny and he pays for them, no question. And there I am, expecting my family to live within our means. But, tell me, Bri, am I wrong to expect my family to let me support them, not my little brother? If there were a good reason to go to Danny, if God forbid we had a medical crisis that needed a procedure we couldn’t afford and our insurance didn’t cover, or say one of the girls had a once in a lifetime opportunity to travel or learn and I couldn’t afford it, you bet I’d go hat in hand to one of my brothers for a loan...but that isn’t the case. Sally and I have a good life. At least I thought we did. But maybe I just don’t dream big enough. Maybe that’s always been my problem, I don’t know how to dream.”

He leaned forward, his strong arms resting on the linoleum table, raising hurt eyes to me, looking for answers. “Where did I go wrong, Bri? We have a comfortable home and two cars. The girls all have okay clothes, not the fanciest but okay clothes. Cathy wanted a four hundred dollar pocketbook for Christmas last year! Of course I said no, but Sally got it for her. She’s thirteen! I was furious when she opened it Christmas morning. but I had to pretend to be all happy, didn't want to ‘ruin’ it for the other girls. I always thought it was more important that I be there for the girls, to coach their teams and see their recitals, and for Sally to be home with them since that’s what she wanted to do instead of a career. I’m working in a profession I love and no, I’ll never be rich but I’m doing some good, and I can help kids.. That’s what I’m best at. Now it seems like all of my choices were wrong.”

“I don’t know if I’m the right guy to ask, Joey. My job is to tell poor suckers that they need that four hundred dollar pocketbook for their barely teenage daughter and two hundred dollar sneakers for their ten year old sons. I do know that I see a lot of corporate dads among my clients who wouldn’t even know what they got their daughters for Christmas, and don’t know what sports they play, if any, much less attend a game, and forget about coaching them. And there isn’t a single person whose life is made better by what they do all day in their jobs. I think you should keep doing what you're doing, because I know you make a hell of a difference as a teacher and as a coach. I also think, for what my opinion is worth, that you keep doing what you’re doing as a dad, because the only kind of dad you can be is the kind you believe is right.”

I looked out the window for a moment before continuing. “I don’t know what pretense I have to being any kind of father to advise you. Hell, I was willing to sign my rights over any number of times, and I didn’t realize what a precious gift I’d been given until I thought I’d lost the chance to ever be more of a father to Gus. But, for what it’s worth, when I think about how to be a dad? When I look for a role model? I turn to your family as the only real source I have for decent ones. And out of some fucking good parents you’ve got in your family, when I want to see how a really good father should act toward his kid...I look to you.”

Joey looked surprised for a moment, then he relaxed and for the first time since we finished our run the day before, he gave me one of his old smiles.

“Thanks, Bri. But...you mean you don’t look to Danny for all the answers?” Joey had only one dimple but he made the most of it. A leather daddy walking past almost tripped on his chains he was so busy turning around to stare at the version of the O’Keefe dimpled smile I was being treated to.

After glaring at the guy to keep him stumbling on his merry way, I turned back to Joey.

“Nah, he’s way too strict for my taste when it comes to parenting...but don’t tell him I said so. Did you know, he doesn’t even allow TV other than the occasional DVD and educational programming? He is such a nerd. I have to sneak forbidden cartoons in.”

“So you can get quiet time away from the kids? Shame on you!” Joey shook his head at me.

“You kidding? So I can watch my favorites with my son! Spiderman and old Speed Racer episodes, not to mention Transformers...great stuff. Your brother doesn’t know classics when he sees them.”

The rest of our lunch was spent in an animated discussion of favorite Transformers’ episodes.

When we walked out into the bright sunlight of Liberty, we had to pause for a moment to get our bearings. That’s when a young voice called out, “Coach! Coach!”

Turning, I saw the young kid from the day before. What was his name, Murray, Murphy?

“Miller? Tony, is that you? What are you doing down this end of town?”

I had to give Joey credit. He could be seen walking out of a diner in the “queer” side of town, with his out and proud buddy, the day after a big blow-up with his wife following a rather public kiss with said buddy, and there wasn’t a bit of self consciousness about him. Of course, Bill Clinton probably could have looked this innocent meeting Monica Lewinsky’s mother at the Gap while shopping with Chelsea too. Only in Joey’s case, it was genuine.

The Miller kid looked really happy to see us. Warning bells were going off in my head as I looked from the youngster’s beaming face to my clueless buddy. Fuck, did this seem familiar.

“Are you having lunch, Coach?”

“Nah, just ate, but you didn’t answer my question. Isn’t this kind of far afield for one of you St. James’ kids?”

Not the gay ones, I thought. I must have made some noise that caught Joey’s attention as he looked over at me.

“I’m being rude for a second day in a row, sorry, Brian. Brian, this is one of my star soccer players, Tony Miller, Tony, this is one of my oldest and best friends, Brian Kinney. We were roommates and soccer teammates back in college and we play soccer together now on my family team. Brian’s a fantastic center.”

I shook hands with the kid, who had the balls to give me the once over. He tried to be subtle about it but it isn’t like I can’t tell when a male is checking me out. Especially a sixteen year old one.

“So, Tony, what are you doing on the gay side of town?” I asked, giving the youngster an innocent smile, for Joey’s sake. It didn’t work, not that I really expected it to. He shot me a look that told me to behave. Like that ever worked.

“I’m looking for a job,” the kid answered, sticking out his chin. Come to think of it, his clothes were rather worn looking for a St. James student to be wearing, even if it were the weekend. The sneakers on his feet were Chuck Taylors, but had definitely seen better days. They looked like they were originals, they were so old looking.

“We talked about that yesterday.” Joey’s voice was somber. “I told you I could get you a job closer to the school, or in one of my brother’s pubs, which would be safe and pay well. This is a bit of a hike for you, son.”

The boy flushed at the paternal tone. Ah, Joey, the boy may have a slight misconception, I thought, slightly amused.

“Something closer to the school is the last thing I need,” he muttered.

“Are Seth and Jerry still giving you a hard time?” Joey asked gently. “I will talk to them again. There are rules about harassment.”

Tony looked at Joey, hero worship shining in his eyes. “Thanks, Coach, but I can handle them. As long as they don’t stop me from playing, I’ll just avoid them.”

Joey clapped him on the shoulder. “Good for you, but there’s no way they’re going to stop you from playing. You’re the best player that team has seen in years from what I’ve seen. The scouts are all looking at you, Tony. If you feel better getting a job down here, maybe....”

Joey looked at me. I sighed.

“Sure. The diner here is the best place for him. Go in and tell Kiki...no, I guess I’d better tell Kiki myself. She’ll train you. Give me a minute to get it straightened out. Joey, you give the kid here a quick lesson in etiquette, make sure he knows his trannies from his transgenders, from his lesbians, from his gays...Danny has explained it all to you, hasn’t he?”

Joey was rolling his eyes as Miller was widening his.

“Yes, Brian. I’ve had rainbow political correctness 101 explained to me by Danny, and was quizzed on it by none other than Mrs. Novotny herself–good thinking that to make sure Tony knows his p's and q's...not to mention his G's,,L's,,T's, and whatever comes next.”

I laughed at him. To tell the truth, I wasn’t able to keep up with it all anymore either and Danny was always drilling me too.

“The Queer Folk, for short,” I told them, as I headed back in to tell Kiki she had a new busboy.

“So,” I asked Joey, after we left his pet student with Kiki, who was thrilled with a new twink to train. “What’s his story?”

“You might find it an interesting one,” Joey said, giving me a sidelong look. “Talented, super-bright kid. He’s in St. Jame’s on scholarship, academic and sports so they give him the extras on top of tuition which is a help since his home situation is the pits. Father beat him on a regular basis. He applied to be an emancipated minor last year when he reached sixteen. I think he lives in some kind of shelter right now. That’s not general knowledge by the way. I only found out by accident. I don’t think the school even knows. But our church helps support the shelter he lives in right now with a grandmother. She’s thinking of moving into assisted living though, and without her, he won’t be eligible, so he has to find someplace else, but no one will rent to someone his age. Kind of a catch twenty-two. Still, he’s trying to save the money up in case he finds a place.”

I frowned. There was one place down this end of town that would rent to young boys. But it was the last place Joey would want his student living. Jason Kemp lived there for awhile. So did Hunter, when he could afford it. There were a lot of pimps there too. They’d latch on to a kid like Miller in a flash.

Maybe helping him get a job down here rather than a nice safe one at an O’Keefe pub wasn’t such a favor after all.

“Do you know why the fuck he wants to be down here?” I was in a bad mood.

Joey looked at me incredulous.

“He’s gay, Brian. You should know better than me. He wants to be down here with all the action, where no one will call him names, where he’ll be accepted. And most of all, where he hopes to get laid.”

I was afraid he would say that. Sometimes I think I’m never going to escape the echoes of my past.
 

**********************

It was later that evening, well after I’d dropped Joey back off at his brother Matt’s house, that I received a call from, of all people, Sally O’Keefe.

“Brian? Have you seen Joey?”

“Hello to you too, Sally,” I couldn’t help sounding sarcastic as I greeted her. Danny looked across the table at me warningly. We’d just sat down to eat with Gus and Briana. I smiled apologetically. “No, not for the past couple of hours, at least. He’s at Matt’s house as far as I know.”

Her voice was tearful as she explained. “No, he came here with Matt. We talked and Matt went home but then Rory told him about something Cathy told her about some things she heard about a student at school. Something that some other kids were planning. He tried calling Debbie, your friend, the lady from the diner?”

“Yes, I know who you mean, go on.”

“He asked if a boy named Tony was there and was upset that he wasn’t and he was very stern with Cathy when she came in, made her tell him exactly what she knew, then he ran out to his car.”

Just then my cell phone was ringing. Danny walked over to get it for me.

“Sally, I have to go, another call. I’ll try to locate Joey and have him call you. But my advice for you as far as that oldest girl of yours is to lock her in her room with bread and water for a week until she grows a heart. Give it a thought for yourself as well.”

I hung up and took the cell phone Danny was holding out for me. Joey’s voice was tense.

“Bri...no time to explain. Can you meet me down at Liberty? I’m trying to locate Tony. If Danny can get a sitter have him head down too. Some of my students may have taken it into their heads to start up again where they left off yesterday morning. Cathy says they were bragging about it in instant messages and in their My Space boards...talking trash about gays. It...it wasn’t good, Brian. I need to find Tony and get him someplace safe. I don’t think those boys are quite right in their heads if what Cathy tells me was really said by them, my God....”

“Ok, just calm down, Joey. Did you call the police yet?”

“If I call the police, I’m afraid it’s Tony they’ll throw into a foster home. His status is very fragile. And I have no proof these kids have done anything. So far it’s only my own daughter’s word. I didn’t take the time to check the computer. Should I tell the police?”

I thought even as I grabbed shoes and a jacket. I signaled for Danny to follow me to the door, away from small ears.

“Maybe not. Listen, I’ll meet you by Babylon. There’s a parking lot behind it. I’ll park there and we can meet up there if you get there first. Check the diner, I’ll tell Debbie to be on the look-out for him and I’ll call around, tell the bouncers at Babylon to be on the watch for him and to let him in if he shows up there. Another underage kid trying to get in, what’s one more.”

“Be sure to tell them he looks like a young you.”

“On his best day...maybe.”

I filled Danny in. He promised to follow as soon as he could get someone over to watch the kids. Emmett was already out for the evening and Micky and John weren’t due back until later. He started calling nieces as I headed down the stairs.
 

**********************
 

It was already dark by the time I pulled into the parking lot behind Babylon despite the early hour. There weren’t many cars around. As soon as I was out of the car, the sounds of arguing made it easy to zero in on the cluster of people standing at the far end of the lot, standing under a solitary lamp post. One big man facing a couple of smaller figures, with another figure on the ground behind him. That was bad enough to make my gut clench.

What made my heart stand still was the sight of the bat in the one smaller figure’s hand, swinging toward the larger man’s head. Toward Joey’s head.

“Brian!” he called out to me as he twisted to avoid the blow. He managed to avoid having it land on his head, but I could hear the loud thud as it struck his broad back and he staggered. The other two with the bat wielder rushed him.

I moved then, running as fast as I could.

“You fucking bastards,” I screamed as I watched Joey go down. I reached them as the bat was lifted again and I was able to grab it in time to stop a second blow. I kicked out with a roundhouse, just the way I’d been practicing with John and Danny for the past two years, and took out the fucker who’d had the bat. I finished him off with a few more kicks and blows, Joey was back up and hammering the biggest of the three with his one remaining functioning arm. I turned to the other attacker, but found he’d decided to take off running across the parking lot. Just then, Danny’s sports car came careening into the lot and he and John jumped out. They were followed by a squad car. John stayed there, grabbing the kid, while Danny came running over to us.

“Call an ambulance,” Joey gasped as he crouched down to check on the kid, Tony. Danny ran back to the police car after I nodded to him, assuring him with a weary smile that we were both okay. He dragged the two Joey and I had taken down with him, his steel-like arms giving them no hope of escape. I’m sure he was hoping they’d give him a reason to crack their heads together.

Fuck but that was closer than I ever wanted to be to that kind of thing again. And I wasn’t ready to look at the Miller kid too closely.

But he wasn’t too bad, thank God. And his soccer coach.

“I don’t need an ambulance,” he grumbled weakly, tying to get up. “They hadn’t done much to me, Coach. They were mainly still telling me what all they were going to do when you got here. Just a lot of kicking and swearing, but damn, my gut hurts from that.”

“Well, we’re going to get you checked out. What the fuck were you thinking being back here after dark, son?”

Joey had the kid up against his shoulder since the boy had insisted on sitting up. The boy looked up at him and shook his head. “You really don’t know, do you?”

Danny was back and had his arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder. I nudged him.

“Do you want to tell him or shall I?”

Danny smiled a little wistfully. “I will. Hey, kid. I’m Danny, Joey’s brother. Or, I guess Coach O’Keefe’s brother. I’m the gay O’Keefe brother. Joey really doesn’t understand why a seventeen year old might risk life and limb to come down to Liberty Avenue...but Brian and I do. But I can tell you one thing, as a gay boy, you couldn’t ask for a better friend, or brother, or father, than Joey.”

The boy Tony relaxed back against Joey then and smiled up at us.

“I was kind of getting that idea. I’m not stupid.”

Danny looked at me. “You know, he kind of reminds me of someone.”

Joey laughed. For all that he was bruised and battered, a lot of his old spirit seemed to be back.
 

**********************
 

(The following weekend)

“You know, the next time one of my brothers asks you to do them a favor, you think maybe you could say...no?” Danny looked up at me from the sofa as he raised the question.

“I’ll think about it. This one worked out pretty well though. I really think Joey is in great shape. He’s learning that he does have his own dreams and that they’re just as important as anyone else’s, maybe more important. Sally was so relieved that he was safe and sound that she begged forgiveness and he can’t do anything wrong now. Did I tell you he and Sally are going to provide a home for Tony Miller? ”

“No! But that’s great!” Danny grinned happily.

“I think he’s even going to let you help him out with expenses,” I smirked. But Danny just smiled at me again, not rising to the bait. I tried a new ploy. Then I thought of it. It actually was likely to work, as it had the benefit of being true. “But speaking of doing favors for brothers...I think you might be the one who will have to practice saying no.”

He frowned at me. “Why? I don’t mind.....”

I sucked in my bottom lip. “Don’t make up your mind too soon, kiddo. Daphne called the office the other day. Seems she and Jamie have been trying to put some buns in the old oven and the yeast is not rising....”

He looked at me incredulously. “That is a terrible metaphor.”

“Don’t blame me, I didn’t invent it.”

“You used it. Anyway, you can’t be serious. Daphne wouldn’t go to you for...no way.”

“I’m not saying they’re going to ask me for the seed to plant their little garden. They want grade A, high quality, O’Keefe seed. Now where would one find that....mmm?” I grinned evilly at him.

He paled. “That is not funny, Brian.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Tell me you’re kidding.”

“Brian!”

I got up and walked casually into the bedroom.

I made it to the bed before I was tackled.

Barely.

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