Better Friends and Lovers

Chapter 25 - Part I

(Setting: Pittsburgh, O'Keefe Family House; first weekend in July; POV/Emmett)

"The star is home," I squealed, clapping my hands and jumping up and down as the boys came in the front door. Danny dropped his bag and accepted my hug while Brian rolled his eyes and shoved past me to head up the stairs, presumably to Danny's bedroom.

"Just ignore him," Danny recommended, hugging me back tightly. "He needs a nap and won't be getting one any time soon. Lack of sleep makes him cranky."

Jamie and Daphne came through the doorway next, carrying more luggage, mainly garment bags that contained the clothes I'd packed for Danny to wear on the Phil and Katie Ann Show. Jamie was also lugging one of Danny's guitars. Knowing Danny, he probably found time to do some shopping while in the City of Brotherly Love, and brought back gifts for at least Briana, Mary Pat and me, which explained why Jamie looked like a pack mule. He probably reminded Brian to get something for Gus too, in case Paw Kinney forgot. He certainly was returning with a lot more bags than he'd taken. Releasing him from the hug, I bounced down onto the sofa and patted the cushion next to me invitingly. We were supposed to meet the rest of the family over at his brother Matt's house for a cookout soon, but I wanted the inside scoop on the big debut first.

"Come on! Sit down and tell me all about it! Did you have fun? I can't believe you took off Katie Ann's clothes on national television. Her dreamy husband's known for being really jealous and possessive, you know. It was hot, though. A person could think you were straight the way you groped her! But my favorite moment was when you sang that opera thingie, oh my god, you made me cry, it was so beautiful. I wished George were still alive to hear it; he loved opera so much. Of course, I always think you sound wonderful but Teddy, who is an expert on it, he agreed that you were amazing too, the way you sang that Wolfram part. How in the hell did you do that out of the blue like that?"

I babbled away, draping my arm over his shoulders to cuddle him as he joined me on the big comfy couch. The O'Keefe house furnishings opted for comfort and longevity over style, but the result was a pleasing hominess. I loved staying here although I could see why Danny preferred his stylish townhouse. He tried to spend one night a week here since his mother died, to make sure there were no jobs that required heavy lifting around the house, and to be a male presence in the big home for Mary Pat. Since her grandmother's death, Briana split her time between the two homes. She also spent a lot of time with her other aunts and uncles, with all of them making an effort to soften the loss for the little girl.

"I'm glad you're letting Danny tell you all about it," Jamie commented, throwing himself down into an overstuffed chair. Daphne punched him in the arm for me.

"Just ignore him, you two. Go on Danny, tell us about your trip. I wondered how you could sing that opera number cold like that too. Ted did say your performance of the Wagner was quite impressive."

"Wow, Ted was impressed, huh? I guess I must have done well." He rolled his eyes but there was humor as well as mockery in them. He gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I'm happier that you enjoyed it, Emmett, than that an afficionado like Ted complimented it. He's the type to be impressed merely because it was opera. The fact that you felt it and wished that you could share it with someone you loved, that means more to me. I've never bought into the notion that it's harder to do opera than a show tune or a standard. It's just a different type of music, once you've been trained to sing it, assuming you were born with the right kind of voice, which is a matter of chance. I'm lucky that my voice is versatile and I was never locked into one style of singing by my teachers."

He looked over at his brother and Daphne, who were busy cuddling on the chair as we talked. His expression softened as he watched the two of them-they really were cute together-- big, brawny Jamie and tiny, feisty Daphne. They had seemed such an odd couple at first, yet they complemented each other perfectly. He gave a fake cough to get their attention.

"Jamie, Daph, you're going to Matt's for dinner, right? Mary Pat said she'd be bringing Briana by in a little bit, something about a birthday party after dance class. The girls said we don't have to bring any food, although I'm willing to bet Em made something to contribute for our share. I hope so because I'm starving. They don't even offer you peanuts on the flight between Philly and Pittsburgh and it was too early to drink, even for Brian."

"Well, you're in luck, as I seem to recall some huge platters of veggies and other stuff, currently sitting in the frig that a certain flaming queen made us drop off here on our way to the airport, including about two pounds of sliced carrots," Jamie told him. With a happy yelp, Danny jumped up and ran for the kitchen.

"Get back here and sit down. You're the 'stah,' you don't have to get your own food. Your own personal caterer will get you a snack, and yes, there is something already prepared for you to munch on now. Since I know you don't like hotdogs and hamburgers, I wouldn't dream of subjecting you to such pedestrian fare after your triumphant TV debut-which you still haven't told me about! I have chicken and fish marinating and we'll add that to the barbeque at your brother's so you can get your protein without all the fat. Sit back down and I'll grab us some refreshments while we wait for Mary Pat and you can finally give me the inside scoop on Phil and Katie Ann."

Danny laughingly waved me off and kept right on heading for the kitchen, intent on his carrot raid.

"You sit, Em, I'll help Danny. Anyone want a beer? Wine, cola?" Daphne kissed Jamie on the lips quickly as she left "their" chair and headed toward the kitchen, passing Danny on his way back into the room. He was carrying one of the plates that held just carrot sticks and was intended for his consumption only. I gave her a grateful look and told her a wine cooler would be great, while Jamie and Danny both asked for beers. I could hear the shower running upstairs so I assumed that Brian wasn't in the mood for company. Nodding my head towards the second floor, I asked Danny, "What's with your travel companion? Bug up his ass?"

"Blonde up his ass is more like it," Jamie snorted. "He was getting an earful on his cell phone from that friend of his from college. What was her name? Lindsay? The whole ride back from the airport, he was getting nagged. If that's how women treat him, it's no wonder the guy's gay."

"Yeah, Jamie, we fags decide to be gay simply to avoid the company of annoying people of the opposite sex. All homosexuals do. Which means you'd better watch out, or eventually Daphne will become a muff diver when she finally comes to her senses and gets sick of your crassness." Danny glared at his brother, then tossed a pillow at him. Jamie looked over at him, surprise and a little bit of hurt on his handsome face.

"Hey, what's with you? I just drove to and from the airport in pre-holiday traffic to get you, lugged in your mountain of clothes, plus the guitar, and put up with your crabby boyfriend's complaints the whole time without punching his snarky face in, despite strong provocation to do so. Why are you jumping down my throat?"

Daphne came back in at that point, balancing the drinks and the snack tray. Danny jumped up to help her, avoiding his brother's gaze. After a moment, though, he walked over to give him his beer and touched his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Jamie. I didn't mean to be a prick. I'm just feeling over-sensitive. Lindsay doesn't like Brian spending time with me, and I feel bad that he has to make this choice between being with me and being with his son, which is completely unfair. But that's no excuse to take it out on you. I do appreciate you and Daphne coming to get us, giving up your day off and everything."

Jamie gave him a slight punch to the shoulder in return, which, given the size of that fist, would probably have sent me staggering, even delivered as lightly as it was. Good thing Danny is tougher than me, I thought to myself. It was also a good thing Danny had so much family support, as it was true that Brian's extended family, of which Lindsay was a key member, was not in favor of their relationship. She'd been quite vocal about it at Debbie's house where the gang had congregated for dinner Thursday evening while Brian was en route to Philadelphia with Danny. It had been awkward for Ted and me to sit there and listen to her go on and on about Justin's "understandable need to spread his wings a little," and how he should be able to do so "secure in the knowledge that Brian would be there for him when he came home." Even Michael seemed to buy into her view that Justin was merely on some type of extended field trip, like a semester abroad, even adopting her position that Brian should patiently wait for Justin's return home, his dick in his hand. Call me cynical, but it struck me that Michael's new found support for Justin really just meant that he'd realized that a Brian in a truly satisfying relationship was much less available to him than he'd ever been while pursuing a one-sided, on again, off again relationship with Justin.

Meanwhile, Lindz painted Simon as this philanthropic, kindly, older man whose only interest in Justin was that of artistic mentor. I wasn't sure what she based this glowing view on, presumably just phone conversations, but she acted like he was the second coming. Meanwhile, she hinted that she could tell us plenty about "that Danny O'Keefe" if she chose to do so, but didn't, out of consideration to Brian. Instead she waged a war of innuendo that was impossible to defend against, acting all innocent and hurt if you challenged her on it, as I tried to do. Daphne had been there, without Jamie, thank goodness, as I don't think he would have let Lindsay's implication that his brother was this wanton seducer of rich men go by without things getting nasty, but Daphne must not have wanted to take on Lindsay, whom she had always admired. Especially not in Debbie's house, with Mel hovering protectively over her wife. And while I would usually be the first to defend Danny, I toned it down myself, since Lindsay seemed so close to the edge. The slightest little thing seemed to set her off.

All in all, it was an unpleasant night, and I left as early as I could. It seemed such a shame that just as Debbie had finally warmed up to Danny, Lindsay hit town and hostilities between Danny and Brian's "family" were renewed. I felt particularly bad about it since the O'Keefes treated Brian, and me for that matter, like part of their family. I'd been invited to go over to Michael and Ben's today, but I decided I would much rather spend the day at the O'Keefe's with Danny's family, where Brian would be missed, than at the other gathering where Danny would likely be the first item on the skewer.

Brian came back downstairs freshly showered, his damp hair combed back from his face. He was wearing worn jeans and a tight black t-shirt. Danny looked at him from his stretched out position on the sofa, the half empty plate of carrots balanced on his stomach.

"You leaving now?"

"Yeah."

The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, faces impassive, then Danny smiled slightly, sitting up and reaching out his hand until Brian stepped close enough for Danny to touch his arm.

"Do I get a goodbye kiss? And don't forget your presents for Gus and his sister. I think they're in my gray duffel bag."

You could see tension leave Brian's body. He gave that tongue in cheek smile of his as he moved closer to the sofa. As Brian leaned over, Danny pulled him closer, making the kiss a much more thorough, full bodied one, the carrots forgotten. I busied myself with the snack tray and Daphne pulled Jamie over to a closet to show him the new kittens that Mary Pat's "indoor" cat had somehow managed to give birth to, while the two men had a low voiced conversation. Naturally, I listened in on it. After living with Debbie all those years, I can eavesdrop on an Olympic level.

"Is that a carrot I'm feeling or are you glad to see me?" Brian asked, raising an eyebrow as he rested his hip on the sofa and placed his hand on Danny's upper thigh. Danny leaned into him, purring against his neck. Actually, the sound was kind of between a purr and a growl, a deep throaty sound. From the corner of my eye, I watched as he nuzzled the area below Brian's right ear.

"The carrots fell on the floor, so it must be me. You're okay, right?" Danny's husky voice asked, his mouth moving to explore the area just north of Brian's collarbone. I bit my own lip as Brian arched his long neck up to give Danny's talented tongue better access. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment as Danny sucked on the area where he'd broken his collarbone in the Liberty Ride and you could still see the funny bump it left. Brian's hands stroked slowly over the long dark hair. I shifted in my seat, and bent down to fuss with the fallen carrots so as not to be caught blatantly staring at the two beautiful men as they caressed each other. I saw Brian give Danny a wry smile as he firmly pushed away.

"I'm fabulous. I always am. Are you okay with me heading out on you like this? Leaving you to the tender mercies of Pittsburgh's biggest fag, not to mention that non-carrot that's jabbing into my leg at the moment. Can't have that on display when you go accept the accolades of the O'Keefe family, assembled en masse to laud the hero of yesterday's morning show. Seems like all I ever do these days is leave you unsatisfied."

Brian still had his hand on the back of Danny's head, fingers woven into the black strands, and he was looking intently into those beautiful green eyes. A crooked smile came back at him.

"I seem to recall you satisfying me quite adequately in Philadelphia. But if it'll make you feel better, consider yourself in my debt for later. I'm very good at waiting for what I want, you know. I'd rather be patient and have you to myself than go with you and be crucified as the evil porn model who has stolen you from your true love. As least my family likes me...and you, for that matter. But I understand why you have to go be with your son and I wouldn't want to keep you away from him. Give my best to everyone, and remind Lindsay and Mel that I need to have Gus and Briana for a practice tomorrow. Brandon rehearsed Gus and taught him the dance but I'll need to work with the two of them together for at least a couple hours if they're to perform in the show together."

Brian raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Why didn't you have Brandon work with both kids?"

Danny shuddered dramatically. Jamie, who also must have been eavesdropping, chimed in, "Because my primadonna of a niece would have eaten your son alive and no doubt would have refused to dance with a mere 'amateur' had she seen him when he was first learning the number. God, she's just like her mother sometimes. And I don't say that in a loving, reminiscent way." The big man laughed, his fond expression belying his words.

Danny looked torn between brotherly loyalty that made him want to defend Angel's memory, and his innate honesty that forced him to acknowledge the truth of Jamie's observation. Looking pointedly at Daphne, he settled for diverting the conversation back to Jamie, commenting, "No, you say it in the pathetic 'I'm terrified of a three foot tall child who can wrap me around her tiny finger' kind of way that only a man who loves domineering pint-sized women can pull off while keeping his manhood intact."

Daphne giggled as Jamie glared at his brother but didn't dispute the point. Thinking about it, I could just imagine Briana pitching a fit worthy of a diva if she thought that Gus would make her look bad at the Benefit due to his lack of skill. No aiming for "cuteness" when she danced; Briana O'Keefe, at age four, was already a real dancer and knew it. She had nothing but contempt for those little girls who wandered around their recitals stages facing the wrong way, pulling up their costumes, sucking their thumbs and generally being adorable.

Danny took advantage of Daphne's continued teasing of Jamie to ask his man again, "Are you sure there's nothing I can do to make things easier for you?"

Brian leaned forward again to kiss him thoroughly, then pulled back, looking tempted as he eyed the vision beneath him. Danny did look yummy in a form fitting white knit t-shirt and loose fitting, stone-washed black jeans. If I were Brian, I wouldn't leave him in order to go get harassed by Lindsay. For all that everyone acted like he was such a selfish bastard, he really did put other people's wishes ahead of his own. Of course, he wasn't leaving just for Lindsay's sake, but also for Gus's. I think he'd missed his son a lot more than he realized he would when the girls moved to Canada with the kids.

"You're already doing it. I appreciate your understanding. I'll go play nice and get in some quality time with my boy and be back here as early as I can, hopefully before you're asleep tonight. If not, I have every intention of waking you up. You are still planning on staying here tonight, aren't you?" After Danny nodded, Brian asked, "Do you mind if I let myself in, even if it's late?"

"Well, you know the drill. If I have a couple other guys in bed with me, just kick them out when you get here," Danny grinned, rubbing his thumb caressingly over Brian's face, smoothing out the wrinkles over his brow to take the sting from his words. Brian laughed and smacked his leg before turning to say good-bye to the rest of us.

"Thanks for the ride, guys, see you later, have fun with the cook out, Em. Sorry I can't stay but I need to go make nice with the munchers."

"See you, Brian, hug Gus for me," Daphne said, leaning way up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Later, man." Jamie waved casually from his position, happily ensconced on the comfy chair.

Brian grabbed the kids' presents out of Danny's bag and with a final wave, headed out the double front doors. Danny's cell phone could be heard faintly from inside one of the bags just as he was leaning over the edge of the sofa to pick up the rest of his spilled carrots. Damn, he had a fine ass. Brian was such a lucky bastard, I thought, as I watched Danny roll gracefully to the floor and somersault over to his carry-on bag. Once there, he couldn't find the ringing phone. I hunted through his other bags, unearthing it at the bottom of the one the gifts had been in, and tossed it to him; fortunately it was still ringing. I expected it to be Mary Pat, calling to say they would be late, but Danny's expression killed that assumption. After saying hello, he looked surprised, then his face got still as he listened to the caller. After a few minutes he got up and walked out onto the porch without saying a word to any of us.

"What the hell is that all about?" Jamie asked, looking from Daphne to me.

"I don't know. Did you see who the call was from, Em?" Daphne looked at me worriedly.

"No. Maybe it was that Miguel guy? Danny's spoken to him a couple times since last week I know, checking up on Justin."

Oops. I searched for something to change the subject as Daphne and Jamie stared at me.

"He did what? You're kidding me. Why would he be checking on that little..."

"That is so sweet and typical of him, I didn't realize he did that, what did he..."

The two lovebirds stopped talking and frowned at each other. No need to come up with a distraction now. They immediately launched into one of their arguments over Justin's behavior and whether he deserved anyone's help, much less Danny's. They didn't even notice when Danny came back into the room. He took one look at the bickering pair and shook his head fondly. He bent down to whisper in my ear.

"I'm sorry, Em, but I have to go somewhere for about an hour, and I don't want to get into it with them. Please cover for me? Tell them it has something to do with the Benefit. I don't know what, anything, make something up. I'll tell you about it later."

There was a stressed look in his face. I cupped his cheek with my hand.

"Are you sure, baby? Briana will be very disappointed not to see you here when she gets home from her party."

He frowned. "I know, I want to see her too, but I should be back pretty soon. Give her the presents from my blue bag, which is also where your present is, big guy." He flashed me his sweet smile, "And kiss her for me. I'll be back before she has time to get tired of the first present. But spread them out to be on the safe side, in case this takes a little longer than I expect."

"Don't you want me to come with you, sweetie? Where are you going?"

He hesitated, glancing over at Jamie and Daphne, who were still arguing passionately over the whole Justin issue. Smiling faintly, he knelt down so he could speak directly in my ear.

"I've been asked to meet someone for a drink...a fair lady in distress. You know me; I can't turn down a request for help. But, it's probably best if I don't say anything about it to the others. So, save me some carrots and I'll meet up with the rest of you as soon as I can, okay? I promise, I'll tell you everything once we don't have company."

"Well, at least tell me who it is." I was totally at a loss. He just shook his head, tilting his head to the side and giving me an impish look.

"Later, Em." With that, he quietly left the house again before Jamie and Daphne even realized he'd come back in from the phone call.

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(Setting: Café in Downtown Pittsburgh; POV/Jennifer Taylor)

I was nervous as I waited for Danny O'Keefe to join me. I started drinking before he arrived and was on my third glass of wine by the time I could reasonably have expected him to make it all the way downtown. It was encouraging that he'd agreed to meet with me, even if it was after some hesitation, the surprise obvious in his voice. But then, I was probably as surprised as he was that I was turning to him for help. I shouldn't be; I have a track record of going to total strangers for help with my son when I don't know what to do with him. It's been six years since I dumped my out of control teenager on the handsome gay guy who was fucking him. Despite all that we'd been through since then, I still didn't have a clue how to reach Justin, how to stop him when I saw him acting in a self destructive way. His infatuation for Brian had turned out to be one of the best things to ever happen to him, but it so easily could have been the worst. It could have been the death of him, literally. I still wake up with cold sweats from nightmares about what could have happened to my son if Brian had been a different type of man than he'd turned out to be.

If Brian hadn't truly cared for Justin, my beautiful, headstrong boy, he could have destroyed him so easily. What if he'd been the type of man every instinct in me screamed this Edward Simon was, a man who took what he wanted and then cast the person away when he was done with him, the consequences be damned? Justin was so sure he knew what he was doing, that he was ready to take on the world, that he could handle a heartless man like Edward Simon who valued things over people. In that way, Justin was a lot like I was when I married Craig Taylor against my parents' wishes. So sure he knew what he was doing and could make his own decisions about people.

When did I turn into such a failure as a parent? I turned my teenage son over to Brian, a single man in his twenties for God's sake, because I couldn't cope, and I let Debbie Novotny, a single mother with more than enough burdens of her own, take him in whenever things didn't work out between him and Brian. I could barely take care of myself, much less Molly and me, back then. Justin was left to the kindness of strangers. No wonder he can hardly speak to me now without sneering. I tried to be supportive, to be a good PFLAG mom, but everything was too little, too late. Even my unconditional support of his relationship with Brian came too late, after he was ready to move on. Yet to what? A man even older than his father this time? A man who offers him nothing but money? Was this Craig's fault for denying him both the financial support and love of a father? Certainly this man Simon doesn't offer Justin any of the understanding and freedom to grow, to be his own person, that Brian always gave him.

I'm afraid of Simon, and I hate feeling so frightened and helpless. It's so clear to me that he just wants to own Justin, as though my boy were just another piece of art in that fancy gallery he bought. He flattered me when I went to visit and said all sorts of charming things to me about his belief in Justin's talent, but none of it rang true. You don't spend twenty years of your life with a lying snake like Craig without learning to recognize the hiss of a serpent when you hear it. Well, maybe some women do, but thank God, I learned from my experience. Brian Kinney didn't speak pretty words of romance, but his actions spoke volumes about his caring heart. I was slow to see it, but eventually I caught on. He's the kind of man you can count on, and even now, I know that he's there for Justin, despite how much Justin's actions over the past year have hurt him.

Tucker assured me that Danny O'Keefe was the same type of man, someone you can count on, a man who wouldn't let my son be harmed by Edward Simon if he could prevent it. He encouraged me to go to Danny for help when I couldn't get through to Justin myself. I wasn't sure what I hoped to accomplish by talking to Danny O'Keefe, but from everything Tucker said about him, I believed that he was a good person and at least would hear me out. If there were any chance of getting him to step back and give Brian and Justin a chance to mend their fences, I was going to make a plea for that to happen. I truly believed that Brian loved Justin with all his heart, and if Justin weren't stupid, he would come running back I'd heard about Brian's trip to see Justin last week. Debbie being Debbie, it didn't take long to get most of the facts out of her, and one of the most disturbing aspects of the incident was that my "just say no" son was apparently taking dangerous risks with his health, and doing so without any Brian to watch over him. Maybe Justin didn't realize how much Brian had protected him from the seamier side of life during his "wild years" but Debbie had made sure that I did. Somehow, that man Simon's hold on Justin had to be broken, and from everything I'd been able to learn over the past couple of months, there was only one man with a chance of doing it. Brian's new boyfriend, Danny O'Keefe.

The slight stir amongst the waiters and the customers in the elegantly furnished café was my first clue that my "date" had arrived. I looked to the doorway where the handsome young man stood looking around for a moment before he was led to my table. His fitted knit shirt emphasized his broad shoulders and muscular chest while even the loose cut of his low riding jeans couldn't disguise the power in those long legs of his. Heads turned to watch as he walked across the room with his feline grace. I couldn't help staring at just how green his eyes were, when, upon reaching the table, he bent his head close to mine and kissed my cheek. My heart sank as I realized that this beautiful man was Justin's competition for Brian's heart, or more realistically, his cock. But, I reminded myself that my son had somehow won the "Stud of Liberty" as a mere boy of seventeen, back when Brian never gave anyone a second glance...or a second chance. I had to believe that whatever chemistry existed between the two of them was still there, and as powerful as ever. It would take more than mere looks to steal Brian's heart away from Justin. Shaking myself out of my dazed thoughts, I invited Danny to sit down.

"It's nice to see you again, Jennifer. Thank you for inviting me. Will Tuck be joining us?"

"No, just me. He's off riding his motorcycle in a road rally or something. Raising money for a charity, leukemia, I think." I smiled nervously, then took a deep breath, meeting his curious gaze.

"First of all, I want to thank you, Danny, for agreeing to come here, for being willing to talk to me alone like this. I know this is rather awkward. I...oh, I forgot to ask you, what would you like to drink?" Damn it, I was already babbling and making a fool of myself before I even got started. He really was such a handsome man and he had such kind eyes.

Giving me a reassuring look, he quietly ordered a drink from the hovering waiter. Then, leaning forward on the table and exposing me to the full effect of that devastating smile, he asked, "What exactly is it you want me to do for you, Jennifer? Short of gift wrapping Brian up for your son as an early birthday present, I promise to do my best to help you any way I can."

I smiled weakly back at him. That was kind of the point of this get together actually, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Ignoring both his caveat and the caution I could see in his eyes, I decided to plow forward. It was about time I did something for my son, even if it was nothing more than make a major fool of myself. I took another deep breath.

"Danny, please indulge me for a few moments. I want to tell you how Justin went about learning to ride a bike...."

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(Setting: Bruckner/Novotny home; same day; POV/Ben)

I didn't have a good feeling about this get together. It had all the markings of an intervention, yet it wasn't clear to me by what right these so-called friends thought they were interfering in Brian's personal life, and what exactly it was they were intervening against. Was it the fact that the formerly cold hearted Brian Kinney, who only fucked men once and never took names was now addicted to love? Or more specifically, was addicted to love from a certain dark haired, green eyed young man who could make a Greek god look like a runner up in a male beauty contest. Somehow, to Brian's "friends," this was a bad thing. Times like this, I was glad that Michael's group had never fully accepted me as one of the gang. As the saying went, with friends like these....

Ostensibly, Brian was coming over to spend some quality time with Gus and eat dinner with the rest of us. It had been a while since "the old gang" had gotten together, as Michael kept repeating. By that, he clearly meant that Danny wasn't welcome. Blake was conspicuously absent too, although Ted was present, looking as uncomfortable as he had at Debbie's house during the Danny bashing that was served with Thursday's lasagna. Emmett sent his regrets today. I didn't blame him, given how close he'd become to Danny over the past couple of months, although Michael was unhappy about his absence, mumbling about mixed loyalties and insisting how nice it would have been to have the entire "old gang" present.

Of course, the old "old gang" didn't include me, either, a fact which I tried to point out to him last night, in a last ditch effort to dissuade him from this plan of his and Lindsay's to make a pitch to Brian in support of Justin. He just gave me that blank look of his that meant he either didn't, or wouldn't understand. The idea that people change and relationships evolve was never a welcome one to him; as always, what he didn't like, he refused to accept. Like a child. His mother was much the same way, and it worried me that he would pass this trait on to Hunter and J.R. Actually, in Hunter's case, the boy was already much more likely to be philosophical about the things he couldn't change, and was coping amazingly well with all that life had handed him thus far. His growing closeness with Danny was another thing that Michael was beginning to hold against the accomplished young man, whom he'd liked so much in the beginning. I still hoped that his innate sense of fairness, as well as his affection for Brian, would open his eyes to how good the two men were for each other.

But for the present, he was reveling in his role as Brian's savior, and the girls' role model father. Lindsay had appealed to him to help her "rescue" Brian from the man she viewed as a scheming user. Suddenly, Michael tossed out everything he knew about Danny, not to mention what he knew about Brian's own ability to take care of himself, and saw himself as Zephyr, flying to the rescue of a brainwashed Rage. All things considered, I was sure that before the day was through, I would wish I were having a peaceful meal with Emmett. Anywhere but here.

Debbie and Carl were playing with J.R. in the house when Brian arrived, bringing a small Betsy Ross doll for the baby and a fife and drum set for Gus from the Constitution Center in Philadelphia. Mel rolled her eyes at Gus's gift while Debbie and Carl laughed.

"Trust the asshole to buy a noisy toy for the kid. Vic always used to do that for Michael when he visited, bring him the noisiest gift he could find. You can always tell the man who doesn't have kids, he...." She suddenly got that conscious look she always got when she realized, too late, that she'd said something insensitive and her words trailed off, before she tried to change what she'd been about to say into something more innocuous. "...that is, what I meant was, someone who doesn't live with..."

"Never mind, Deb, you got it right the first time. Mel and Lindz are Gus's primary parents, but Gus knows his old man loves him, right, sonny boy?" Brian picked Gus up and gave him a hug, winning a warm one in return from his small replica. I felt a tug in my own heart. What a blessing Brian had in Gus, and how remarkable that he realized it finally. What a shame it was, too, that none of his friends seemed ready to recognize how much he had changed in this respect. But maybe it was enough for him that his son knew it.

Another example of the gang's refusal to recognize how Brian had grown was the fact that the only reaction to his bringing both of the children gifts was the mild criticism of his choice for Gus. It was typical that no one thought to compliment him on bringing J.R. something, although he probably would have heard plenty if he hadn't, although, quite frankly, she was still too young to have noticed if he hadn't. Debbie, on the other hand, hadn't thought twice about showering her granddaughter with gifts without being equally generous to Gus, who was of an age to see the disparity. It wasn't that she was unkind. She was good to Gus, just as she was good to Hunter, but there was a difference in her attitude towards J.R. I hoped Mel and Lindsay were able to smooth it over in a sensitive way as Gus grew older, given that Brian's mother had no contact with them. I had step-grandparents growing up, and it was a source of heartache for my sister that we didn't get treated the same as our half brother, their "real" grandchild, did. I couldn't care less and was happy that our mom found happiness with a new husband but my sister was younger and it bothered her tremendously. Every birthday and Christmas was another chance to keep score.

"Brian, can I get you a drink?" I asked, hoping to keep him and Gus away from Michael and Lindsay for as long as possible. No such luck.

"I have Brian's favorite all ready for him outside," Michael smiled. "Come on, Brian, leave Gus for a minute and come outside to the grill. I need your 'super powers' to help me and there's a Jim Beam on the rocks poured and waiting for you."

"A watered down bourbon, just what I want on a hot July day at one in the afternoon. Maybe a glass of ice water instead for right now? I can bring my son with me, can't I? I can start teaching him the manly art of grill watching." Brian started to follow Michael toward the back, Gus on his shoulders.

"Actually, Gus needs to lie down and take a nap. He had a long rehearsal with that Brandon person this morning and will be terribly cranky if he doesn't get some rest. Why don't you give him to me while you go out with Michael? You can visit with Gus later." Lindsay reached up for Gus.

Mel looked at Lindsay in surprise but didn't say anything. I think most of the people in the room with any knowledge of children were somewhat surprised to see Lindsay take Gus away from his father the minute he arrived, especially on the flimsy excuse that a child of almost six needed a nap. Debbie looked as though she wanted to say something but even she bit her lip-literally. Brian gave Lindsay a sardonic look but just passed Gus down with a whispered comment in the boy's ear that had him giggling. He refused to tell his flushing mother what Brian said, so by the time she joined us in the backyard she was already fuming. Mel hadn't waited for Lindsay but launched right in with their latest grievance. Lindsay arrived by the time she came to the end of her litany of complaints to Brian, which he listened to in silence, one eyebrow raised superciliously.

"We took Gus over to Babylon to rehearse per your instructions, and I have to tell you, I was pretty pissed off to find out that he was just going to be working with some young guy. I thought your friend Danny would be teaching him his dance. I also understand from Hunter that he'll be dancing with a four year old girl? That's going to be embarrassing for Gus. He'll feel silly paired with a baby who won't know what she's doing. We really thought that since the whole Benefit was going to be in your club, Brian, and you're good friends with the person running it, the least you might have done for your own son was see that your fuck-buddy gave him a decent part. I understand from some of the other mothers that Marie's son is singing one of the major children's roles from 'Les Miserables,' for no less than Stephan Lane." By this point, Lindsay was seated at her side and was nodding her head in agreement.

I found myself more annoyed than I'd been in ages. For pity's sake, that young boy's mother had died in the bombing and they were concerned that he had a more prominent part in the Benefit than Gus did? Before Brian could speak, I stepped to his side and touched his shoulder.

"Please, Brian, let me answer this. I'll have you know, Mel, Lindsay, that the performers for this Benefit, all the rest of whom auditioned, have been working for over two months to get ready, and a good number of them are professional singers and dancers. To make a spot in the program for Gus, Danny choreographed a dance especially for him, changing a number that had been rehearsed a different way for weeks, rearranging the steps so they could be done by Gus, an inexperienced dancer. His partner, on the other hand, may only be four years old, but she's a very talented and hard working dancer, and no doubt will grow up to be every bit as gifted a dancer as her uncle is."

The two women stared at me in surprise. I continued. "The baby, as you call her, who will be dancing with Gus, is Briana O'Keefe, who has been taking in dance since she could walk. She will have to relearn the newly choreographed dance to accommodate Gus being in the show. Danny chose her because she is the only dancer of Gus's approximate age who could do it in the time we have. None of the older children would be able to learn new steps at this late date. And that young guy who worked with him, Brandon, gave up hours of his free time to help Gus learn the dance, at Danny's request, since Danny was in Philadelphia. Had you two told anyone you were coming and that Gus would want to be in the show, Danny and the others wouldn't have had to jump through hoops for you now. And for your information, next to Danny, Brandon is the most highly trained dancer in the show, a Julliard graduate who has danced with the Joffrey Ballet. So, you should have been thanking him today instead of giving him the third degree about where Danny was."

I took some satisfaction in actually being able to shut Mel up. It wasn't easy and it sure didn't happen often. She pursed her lips and sat down heavily, shooting a dark look at Lindsay. She didn't make any reply to my comments, but then, she didn't look at me for the next half hour either. I guess all things considered, I got off lightly.

Brian gave me a half smile.

"Well, Ben, that was rather un-zen like of you, wasn't it? I'm afraid it didn't do any good either, as I think I'm still being led into the lions' den later. But, for what it's worth...thanks." Brian exchanged his water for the tumbler of whisky as Lindsay ignored me, and pulled a chair closer to hers and urged him to sit down next to her and Michael. Melanie moved to the other side of the patio and sat glowering at no one in particular. Lindsay smiled coaxingly at Brian, who remained standing.

"Brian, please sit. We would really like to talk to you. Michael and I would, that is, although Mel is concerned for you too, aren't you, honey?" Melanie just snorted, causing Brian to laugh. Lindsay gave a pained smile and continued. "This is about how much we care about you...and how we want to prevent you from making a mistake that you're going to regret for the rest of your life."

Brian donned his most impassive face and remained standing, balancing lightly on the balls of his feet, one hand in his pocket and the other holding his tumbler of whiskey.

"I think I did that when I agreed to come to lunch here today. But you said it was the only way I could see Gus so I had no choice, did I? Seems now like I'm not even getting that payoff for all this aggravation so I'm not sure how much longer I'm staying."

Lindsay frowned, pushing her hair back behind her ear nervously. Carl looked uncomfortable and after a few quietly spoken words to Deb, excused himself, saying that he thought he should keep an ear out for the children sleeping inside. I was fairly sure he was going in to catch the baseball game on television, and didn't blame him. Thank goodness Hunter had a shift at the diner. I could just imagine his reaction to this sandbagging of his idol. His flippancy was the last thing needed; tempers were volatile enough.

"Brian, I wish you wouldn't take that flippant attitude. We're all here because we love you and..."

"Even smelly Melly?" Brian interjected, raising an eyebrow skeptically. Mel muttered, "Asshole" under her breath while Debbie stifled a laugh. My husband chose that moment to jump into the fray.

"Don't be this way, Brian. Lindsay is trying to help you and I for one think it's great that Mel is willing to be supportive in this. You haven't always been particularly nice to her, but both of the girls realize that you've changed, and made huge leaps forward in terms of being willing to make a commitment..."

Brian was looking at Michael with a blank expression, but after this many years, I recognized that such a complete absence of emotion meant that he was struggling to contain an excess of feeling. I felt the opposite impulse. Ever since the bombing, my own emotions, which I'd spent years controlling, seemed to be bubbling constantly to the surface. I turned to my partner.

"Michael, by what right do you presume to lecture Brian on his personal life, much less his decisions regarding commitment? For that matter, what business is it of Lindsay's or Melanie's to speak to Brian on this topic? It seems to me that he has been clear about making a commitment to Danny O'Keefe, something you were fine with until Lindsay started talking to you about interfering in it. But what business is it of anyone but Brian who he chooses to be with? The only choices and behaviors you four have the right to discuss are those that affect your children, and in that area, none of you are in the position to criticize Brian, least of all Lindsay and Melanie. They left town, taking with them the children that you and Brian made possible. What does that say about their commitment to the two of you? Brian is the only one to make a real effort to continue his contact with Gus. Quite frankly, he's done much more than you have, Michael, and far more than either mother has to honor the promises made when they left. Despite that, he continues to support Gus and does everything he can to maintain a relationship with his son long distance. Now, in this first visit back home, you are making it difficult for him to see Gus, and you essentially force him to leave the man in his life at home to do so. How can you call yourselves friends?"

I shocked myself by my vehemence as much as the faces around me revealed that I had shocked them. Yet, there wasn't a word that I wanted to take back. As everyone else just looked at me, stunned into silence, Debbie spoke up.

"Ben's fucking right, you know. When you girls left, a lot of promises were made. You'd be back for visits; we'd be invited up there. None of that happened. Brian made a point of going up for visits, Michael, and he even asked me if I wanted to go with him. Had I ever been invited by you girls, I would have taken him up on his offer. Hell, Carl and I would have driven up there, the price of gas be damned. But the shameful truth is, I've never been invited, not a real one, with a day planned and directions given, and I wasn't about to go forcing myself in some place I wasn't wanted. I barely got Christmas and Mother's Day cards from you girls. Maybe Michael and you stay in touch over the computer, but not all of us are technologically advanced. If it weren't for Hunter printing out emailed pictures, I wouldn't even have that much. So, Ben has a point, as he usually does. You're not the right ones to be talking about commitment to the asshole here."

Lindsay and Mel were pale, but whether with anger or something else, I couldn't tell. Michael was red faced with embarrassment. This was not how he planned on this confrontation going. Ted slipped away, his usual thirst for gossip overcome by his sense of self preservation and desire to avoid what was shaping up to be an ugly scene.

"Ma, none of that has anything to do with what Brian is doing with Danny O'Keefe, and what he owes to Justin. All of what you're saying is our personal business, and we'll talk about it, but it's not something to get into now...."

At that, Deb's eyes lit up like Fourth of July fireworks a few days early but I put my hand on her shoulder to hold her off. I was tired of standing by and watching my husband put himself front and center in his "best friend's" love life, blind to the effect his machinations had on my life, my friends, and my feelings.

"No, Michael, the truth is that it's Brian's life that is personal and has no business being discussed here. None of us have any right to interfere with Brian's choice of lover, neither you as his friend, nor Lindsay as the mother of his child. And whatever bullshit rationalization the two of you are using to convince yourselves otherwise is exactly that, an excuse to interfere in his life. What you should be doing is addressing what is relevant between the four of you, namely, your relationship with each other as parents of those two beautiful children. Brian is here in that role, and I refuse to allow my home to be used to ambush him on any other topic."

Lindsay rounded on me just as Michael started whining:

"How could you, Brian has been one of my dearest friends for years and I just want to do what's best for him;"

and,

"You don't know what you're talking about, Ben, this isn't about the kids. This is about helping Brian not make a big mistake that he'll regret."

Meanwhile, Deb and Mel were providing a high volume counterpoint:

"Ben's your husband and he's the one you should be paying attention to instead of always worrying about who Brian's fucking. It's the same old thing, time after time. First you didn't like Justin and now it's Danny...;"

and,

"I told you this was a bad idea. Why should we care how the asshole fucks up his life? Justin is better off without him and so is Danny as far as I'm concerned. A nice guy like him deserves better and I don't buy all this bullshit you've been fed about him anyway."

They kept at it for several minutes, none of them listening to the other, until finally Brian held up a hand.

"Stop." He spoke the word quietly, but firmly enough to be heard, and amazingly, they all shut up. He turned to me with a faint, weary smile. "I appreciate what you tried to do, don't think I don't, but they'll never rest until they get this out of their system. Let them speak their piece and then, hopefully, I'll be allowed to play with my son for a little while. After that, I'll leave and they can talk about what an inconsiderate, selfish bastard I am behind my back. It's what they're comfortable with, why change the script now?"

"Well, I'm not going to sit around for this, I'm going in to watch over my granddaughter. It's little enough time I get to be with her." Deb huffed into the house, pausing by Brian to look him in the eye.

"Don't you let these folks get to you. You have something good going on with that O'Keefe boy, you hold on to it. You've done a lot for Justin, and maybe it's time to let Justin start taking care of Justin while you take care of Brian."

Brian looked startled. Her sincere caring almost broke through his tough veneer where the others' callousness never could. I could see him blinking rapidly as he hid his face from his "friends" by burying it in her garish red wig.

"Thanks, mother," he whispered. "You go now; there's no need for you to be fighting with them. Go enjoy that grandkid of yours."

Straightening up, his face composed back into its usual mask, Brian stared at the trio confronting him. He folded his arms loosely in front of his chest and smiled slightly.

"Okay, who is the designated hitter in this farce? I'll give you twenty minutes. Then, either I get to spend the promised time with my son or I'm out of here."

**************************************************

(Setting: The O'Keefe Family Home; Late Saturday night, July 1st; POV/Brian)

I let myself into the darkened house and went straight up to Danny's room. After leaving Mikey's, I went to Woody's for a few drinks. Just when I'd gotten tired of fending off the tricks who assumed I was on the prowl, and was about to leave, who did I have the luck to run into but Danny's French wench, Aida. She got me to buy her a drink then subjected me to the same song, different key as I'd heard that afternoon.

It seemed Lane had been offered the opportunity to write and direct and produce a sequel to his Oscar winning movie. No surprise there. But after seeing Danny's performance on the Phil Regin show, the money men wanted Danny to be the star, and were willing to pay him Hollywood numbers to do it. Universal wanted rights to it, if Danny were to be the lead and there was talk of a recording deal. Filming in France could start as early as September, if Danny would agree, but the problem was, he was telling Lane and Aida that he wasn't interested in leaving Pittsburgh for any extended period. She wanted me to help push him on his way to being a big star.

"But Brian, if you love him, you would want to see him achieve everything he can possibly achieve, yes? God did not intend for a man as gifted as Daniel to hide himself away in this, this city against the ugly steel mined mountains! He could be an international star, and be loved by millions. He loves to sing, to dance, to perform. He has always wanted that, since he was a little boy. It would be selfish of you to keep him here."

Funny. For someone who was so selfish, I always seemed to end up alone after having done the "right thing." A long time ago I turned away the love of a charming, green-eyed boy because he was too young to get involved with me; at sixteen he had all his dreams still ahead of him and I thought he deserved the chance to explore them unencumbered by a relationship with an "older man." An older man of twenty-two. So I unselfishly pushed him away, believing it was what was best for him. Look what happened. The world almost broke him. It didn't though. He grew strong, like the steel forged on our ugly Pittsburgh hills, but at a hell of a cost. You can see it in his eyes, still green, but never again as open and trusting as that boy of sixteen's were.

With Justin, there were so many times I tried to push him away too, but I couldn't quite do it. I never believed that he could make it without me to look out for him. He was always the one to walk away, and I always took him back. Until he finally walked away from me for the last time. And unselfishly, I put aside my own feelings of loss, and sent him away with a smile on his face. But, it turned out I misjudged and he wasn't ready to be on his own. Now he seems to be in a worse situation than ever, and is far from being the grown up, independent man he left me to become.

I wasn't so sure that being "unselfish" was the right answer. I knew one thing, however, no more making the decision on my own, without consulting the other half of the equation. Not in this case, at least, when the other half was every bit my equal and a man capable of making his own choices.

I got rid of Aida after making as noncommittal an answer as I could and went for a drive to have time to think all this through. I found myself driving all the way out to West Virginia, to the house I bought for "my prince." What the fuck was I thinking when I spouted that shit? It was as though I was in one of my own ads and I was the product. Only Justin didn't buy it, I thought with a laugh. That's what you get for diverting from the tried and true methods-a losing campaign.

I must have sat in the car staring at that monstrosity of a house for a couple of hours, thinking about all that Mikey and Lindsay had said, and about all the changes my life had gone through since I bought it. Eventually, worn out from all the emotional turmoil, I turned the car around and headed for home.

Somehow, somewhere along the way, "home" no longer was the loft, but was wherever Danny happened to be. The problem was, in some ways I was right back where I was last fall with Justin, only this time it felt even worse since I was more used to being in a relationship, to sharing my life with someone, and this time it was someone whom I had so much in common with. I wasn't quite sure how Danny felt, but after his performance in Philadelphia, it was clear that he belonged doing something bigger than he was now. He was incredibly talented; it wasn't just to me that he seemed to be something special, even Phil Regin and the producers of his show were raving over him. Aida and Lane were right, Danny was real star material and could do anything, anywhere. He didn't belong in Pittsburgh. Continuing his relationship with me would certainly hinder him in realizing his dreams just as much, if not more, than marrying Justin would have hampered him in pursuing his art last year. But, and this was a big but, it wasn't my decision to make. It was Danny's. I owed it to him to give him the information he needed from me to make an informed choice, chief of which was that I would be here for him, regardless.

The chat with Aida had been very civilized and low key. By comparison, the scene with Mikey and Lindsay had been comical in its inconsistency and farcical in its melodrama. On the one hand they were insisting that I should wait for Justin, and stop being so involved with Danny, about whom they made all sorts of dark hints. On the other, they claimed to be worried that Danny would leave me broken hearted in order to pursue his career, so I should break things off now before it was too late.

It was already too late for that. Seeing Justin last week opened my eyes to how much my feelings for him had evolved. I still love him, I always would, but now it was as someone I needed to take care of, not the kind of love you feel for a partner or an equal, but more as a mentor to a protégé. With Danny, it is so different. He challenges me, and excites me. I want to take care of him, sure, because he doesn't always take care of himself, but I also love it when he takes care of me. I love working with him, arguing with him, just hanging out with him. And God, do I love making love with him. I don't even think of other men. I felt lost when Justin moved away, but that was partially because it made me face up to the realization that I lacked anyone special in my life. If Danny were to leave me now, it would be him that I would miss, and I don't know if anyone could fill his place.

I walked up the stairs and entered his room quietly. He was stretched out on the bed, lying on his stomach, head pillowed on his arms. He was clad only in his favorite pair of my old thin black sweat pants, his "comfort pants", which revealed the lovely taut curve of his ass. The moonlight streaming through his bedroom window was enough to reveal the line of his crack through the worn cotton. His back muscles bulged where his arms were bent, and the ridges of his abdominal muscles and ribs could be seen running down the sides of his long torso.

Jazz music played quietly on his stereo, Thelonius Monk, always a sign that his day had been less than peaceful. Comfort music and comfort sweats on. As quietly as possible, after locking the door behind me, I stripped and crawled into bed next to him.

I moved his hair aside and pressed my lips to the back of his neck.

"Mmm, Jean Claude," he murmured, his voice husky with feigned sleep, "I told you to go home. My boyfriend may be coming by soon."

I chuckled and leaned up on one elbow, still ghosting my lips over his neck. "Ah, just got the other guys out in time, did you? I thought the sheets were still warm."

He rolled over smiling, eyes gleaming from under those ridiculously long lashes. "Well, as long as the sheets aren't still damp, you got nothing on me, copper. I'm clean."

I bent my head and sniffed his chest, licking my way down those beautiful pecs and abs, pausing at the arch of his right inguinal muscle, a particular favorite of mine, edging the sweat pants down over his swelling cock which was rising up from its nest of black curly hair. I picked my head up for a moment, smiling at his suddenly intent expression.

"You certainly smell clean, but I may have to do a body cavity search to be completely sure."

He stared at me, startled for a second, then burst out laughing. I couldn't hold back my own grin, getting a kick out of making him laugh.

"Please! Be my guest. May I suggest you use your tongue to be sure you don't miss any traces of evidence?"

"I'm sure that I'll be using everything at my disposal in my efforts to be thorough, Mr. O'Keefe. You'll have no reason to feel less than fully explored when I'm done with you."

"I haven't a doubt," he said, his voice low and amused, then he reached down and caressed my cheek where it rested against his pelvis, his other hand moving into my hair to stroke it gently.

"I worried about you. Where you were?" he whispered, his soft touch comforting me in places I didn't even know could be reached anymore. I inhaled deeply, taking in his scent as my lips moved along the curve at his hip and I tasted his skin.

"I worried about me too. But I'm here now and everything is okay." I looked up to meet his eyes. "I wasn't with any tricks, Danny."

His hand kept moving through my hair as the other gripped my chin to keep my eyes fixed on his face.

"You didn't have to tell me that, Bri. I think we're past the point of needing quick fixes, and if we weren't, then I hope we deal with it. I think you look like you were dealing with something a little tougher than an itch in your pants."

He pulled me up to be level with him. As always I was slightly surprised by the ease with which he could lift me and how much strength he had in his arms. I felt his arms wrap around me and felt...loved. And more than anything, I wanted to give him the same sense of strength and security that I found in him. I bent my head and kissed him gently, exploring his lips, running my tongue over them, sucking them into my mouth as I slipped my hands down his smooth back to the curve of his ass, pulling his hips forward until I could feel his hard cock pressed against mine.

This was a night for slow and easy. Both of us wanted to be as close as possible, to touch, to taste. He kissed my collarbone, which always made me shiver. I pulled his pants the rest of the way off so that we could be skin to skin. I worked my way down again, licking a path down the ridges of his chest and stomach, tonguing his navel until he moaned.

"The first night I saw you again, all grown up, I couldn't take my eyes off this stomach," I told him. "You'd unbuttoned your shirt and stretched so that it came untucked and all I could think of was licking my way down, tracing every one of your abs."

He huffed a laugh in between gasping as I sucked a sensitive spot just above where his pubes began. He had the most beautiful dark, curly pubes, just the right amount against his tan skin, neither too thick and bushy nor too thin and trimmed. I licked around the edge of the golden skin, avoiding the leaking cock that bobbed in front of me, eager for attention.

"Please, Brian." He reached down and took himself in hand, rubbing his thumb over the head to spread the moisture around. Oh fuck, that was hot. I stopped what I was doing to watch, caressing my hands along his thighs, causing him to spread his legs more. He gave me a slight smile, his unoccupied hand stroking my chest, watching me watch him as he spoke in his low, resonant voice. "I knew you were watching me that night, so I was doing everything I could to entice you, rolling my shoulders, reaching across you for the bottle and putting it back on the far side of you so I would have to stretch over you again to reach it, making sure my shirt would come untucked. I was shameless. But it was worth it, God, what a night." He gave me an impish grin. "Well worth waiting twenty seven years for, though I'm still sorry for that flipping you thing."

He leaned forward and kissed me again, pulling me to him with both hands on my shoulders. I grabbed them away and pinned them above his head, continuing to kiss him deeply, feeling him gasp into my mouth as the passion built.

"I want to be inside you now, Danny, like I was then," I whispered. He nodded, eyes big in the moonlight, lips full and swollen from kissing.

Letting go with just one hand but still grasping his wrists together with the other to keep him stretched out so beautifully beneath me, I reached for the lube and condom I knew would be in his night table drawer. Sensing what I wanted, he gripped the wooden bars of his headboard, freeing my hand to ghost along his torso, touching him ever so lightly. His lips parted as he breathed heavily, arching up into my hand.

"Please, Bri, touch me."

I lowered my head between his thighs and kissed the sensitive skin on the inner surface of them while I rubbed a lube slicked finger around his perineum. His pants and moans increased, as did his begging. I told him he had to keep his requests to English tonight or I would stop, causing him to moan in real dismay. I knew he had to think about it more to keep his sex talk in one language so that was actually an inspired command, but well worth it moments later when he was begging me to touch him and I actually knew what he was saying. I found it endearing that he used the Gaelic for expressions of love, I had trouble myself with how much the "L word" was beaten to death, used for everything from pizza to the latest song, but for sex, getting him to say what he wanted me to do to him without hiding his loss of control in his foreign languages was a turn-on.

His powerful legs wrapped around my ass, pulling me closer, as he held onto the headboard, his knuckles white, his back arched.

"Now, Brian, please. I want you." His eyes held mine, complete trust in them, and I almost lost my breath, he was so beautiful in that moment. I nodded my head, unable to speak, and edged his legs up. There was no need to hold their weight on my shoulders. He was able to maintain any position and preferred to wrap his calves around my body, holding me tight and meeting me as I thrust into him. I bent down and kissed him as I pushed into his heat. I could feel him smile into the kiss. He leaned up, letting go of the headboard finally, to hold onto my shoulders.

"I want to watch you enter me, Brian, to see your thick cock as it goes into me like this," his deep voice was murmuring against my neck. I swear his voice alone was enough to make me come; when he combined describing what we were doing in that voice of his with the action, the effect was fucking incredible. I could feel the blood filling my cock, making it even harder than it had been, shocks like electric currents coursing through me. He clenched his ass muscles around me, driving me wild.

"God, yes, Brian..."

I thrust harder, faster, reaching down to stroke the hard cock that jutted between our stomachs. His words became inarticulate grunts, more arousing than any words. I could see when his orgasm started by watching his face, seeing as he chased it, his concentration focused on my hand on his cock and my cock in his ass as I shifted the angle to hit his prostate with each push. My own orgasm shuddered through me as I felt the hot come fill my hand.

He collapsed back flat on the bed and I gently pulled out. I tossed the condom into the wastebasket. He remained stretched out on his back, a glorious nude, and I couldn't resist licking away the mixture of come and sweat from his stomach and chest. He smiled, running his fingers through my hair as I worked my way up to his lips.

"Thank you." His voice was low and slightly pensive. Finished, I lay down next to him and pulled him into my arms. Although he relaxed against the hollow of my shoulder, I could tell that he wasn't settling into sleep. Although the great sex had made me feel reconnected with him and pushed my worries out of my mind, it didn't have the same effect on him. If anything, he seemed more anxious now, and being Danny, he wouldn't be able to rest without resolving whatever was bothering him. I realized, with some surprise, that if something was bothering him, I needed to have it fixed too. I may have come to a resolution with my hassles of the day, or at least a temporary ceasefire, but clearly he had still some problems left over, probably the same ones that made him don his comfort sweats and listen to his comfort music in the first place. I'd been so busy reaffirming our connection, I'd gotten distracted from those clues.

"You want to tell me what's wrong? I thought that was fucking incredible just now but you're looking like you just lost your best friend...I know it wasn't the music; you love Thelonius. Next to Jerome Kern, he's your favorite music to fuck by. And I'd kind of like to think it wasn't the sex....." I raised one eyebrow and looked at him.

Danny looked genuinely amused for a moment, but then the uncertain look returned to his face, as though there were something he wanted to say but wasn't sure how to bring up. Finally, he seemed to make up his mind about something, and he rolled over and propped himself up on his elbows.

"Can we talk, Bri?" He tipped his head to the side and gave me this serious look, biting his lip.

Shit. I felt as though the bottom just fell out of my stomach...because a mule kicked it. But I made myself smile.

"Sure, what do you want to talk about? How you're going to be a huge star and will get to leave Pittsburgh?"

Danny looked at me closely for a moment before speaking. His voice was soft when he spoke again, his words coming slowly, his eyes holding mine pinned.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bri, not for any sustained period, at least. I have commitments here. But, is that your way of asking me if I'm leaving you? Because the funny thing is, I was asked to do exactly that today, to break up with you at the Benefit, and clear the way for Justin to come home to you."

What the fuck? Damn Mikey and Lindsay; they didn't say anything about going to Danny. I sat up, furious.

"I can't believe Mikey and Lindsay. It wasn't enough that they spent the afternoon trying to convince me that you would leave me for the bright lights and big city so I should dump you first, and that I should go back to Justin because apparently I'm only capable of ever loving one person in my whole fucking life, but they tried stacking the deck by telling you behind my back to do exactly what they said you would do. I am going to kill them for interfering, those two faced...."

Danny kissed me, holding my face in both hands. Even after lifting his lips from mine, he kept his hands on me, moving them to my hair, stroking it soothingly.

"It wasn't Michael and Lindsay, and I don't think the person who spoke to me was working in conjunction with them, actually. Though I'm not surprised to learn that you had a similar talk today. No wonder we came together tonight like our first time, we were treating it like it was the last. God, I was lying here waiting for you feeling so terrified....well, never mind that." He stopped abruptly, then rested his head back down on my chest. "It was Jennifer Taylor," he whispered.

I stared down at him. My hand paused in the middle of caressing his hair. Jen? Jennifer Taylor asked Danny to stop seeing me? I had trouble believing she would do such a thing, although, of course, if he said it, she must have. What in the world would cause her to do such an insane thing as interfere in my love life? Hell, she'd barely interfered in Justin's love life after he reached eighteen.

Danny nestled closer, taking his hand to move mine through his hair in a not so subtle hint for me to run my fingers through the long strands and massage his scalp. I was happy enough to oblige; he enjoyed the feel of it as much as I loved doing it. He sighed deeply and continued speaking.

"Apparently she's terrified of Edward and the influence he has over Justin. She suspects him of having an unnatural hold over him and essentially begged me to save him. Edward's bringing him down for the Benefit. She feels that if Justin knew you were still there for him, maybe he would find the balls to walk away from Edward."

"And do I get any say in this?" I was pissed. How dare everyone decide what was best for me, or worse, decide that whatever was best for Justin was what I should do? Now even Danny was expected to go along with it, my wishes and his, be damned. I tightened my hold on him.

"Well, I was kind of hoping you would prefer I not offer myself up as a human sacrifice to Edward Simon. While 'I'd do anything for your love, Bri, anything,' that would be asking a bit much. And I couldn't in good conscience stick you with Taylor, even to make his mother happy. Though it does worry me to leave him trapped with Edward, when she is perhaps right; I may be able to help get him away from the slimy bastard." He tried to speak lightly but even his acting skill wasn't enough to keep the tension from leaking into his voice. Simon scared him, my Danny who wasn't afraid of anything.

"I don't want you doing anything that would put you at risk, Danny. You need to focus on the Benefit. That's more than enough. Justin got himself into this thing with Simon, and he can get himself out, if he even wants to, which I doubt. He showed every sign of having his cake and eating it too when I was up there, if what that Miguel told me was accurate. His freight is paid by Simon, and he goes out and parties with Miguel and Miguel's friends when he can. He partied a little too hard last week but seemed to have learned his lesson from that episode and will be more careful in the future. Even if he won't, I got the impression his Mexican pal will."

Danny looked troubled.

"That's the thing, Brian. With Edward, no one gets away with anything in the long run. The man is paranoid and obsessive. You may have gotten Justin in safely that night, but Edward was no doubt suspicious, and he'll be watching twice as closely from now on. And I have no doubt that he knows Justin is going out with a man, he just hasn't found out who, or he may be giving him enough rope to hang himself with. Jennifer is right to be worried; Justin should get out. From what she told me, Edward treats Justin differently than many of his 'angels.' He is more possessive and...." He paused and I rubbed his back soothingly.

"And what?"

"She thinks he's rough with Justin. It sounds like it's just rough sex play to me, and I can see where a mom could get a little freaked out by that. No doubt a boy like Justin bruises easily, but...the truth is Edward has been known to let that shit get out of control and he has a weird concept of consent."

Danny's voice had grown even tenser. I could understand Jennifer being freaked out by this; I was a bit freaked out myself by what was new information to me. I'd seen a few faded bruises on Justin when I was up there, but with everything else that was going on that night, I really didn't think much about them, nor did I ask about them. Daphne had asked about one mark on his back, but he had grinned and told her he'd been a "bad boy", so he'd been punished. He said it with a laugh, though, so both of us took it to be a joke. In fact, Miguel had rolled his eyes, and commented that if Justin got marked every time he was a bad boy, he'd be black and blue if it were up to Miguel. We all had laughed, including Justin. Looking back now, I felt sick at the memory. And angry at Justin if he was putting up with that type of shit and not telling me.

"So, I'll talk to him, try to reach him, force some sense into him," I suggested. I shook Danny gently when he didn't reply. "There's no way I want you offering yourself to Simon in exchange for Justin, Danny. That's insane. Besides, I kind of like you right where you are, which actually was the point of a very heated exchange between me and my two oldest and dearest friends today."

He wrapped his arms around me tightly. "Oh? I thought something like that was in the works when Em decided to stay away. Well, I told you about my secret meeting. You want to tell me about yours?"

"Not much more to tell. They told me to leave you because, one, you were bound to come to your senses and leave me anyway, or two, leave me and run off to Hollywood or Broadway for fame and fortune, so leave you first. Or three, I should stop thinking I'm happy with you because it's all a delusion and go back to pursuing meaningless tricks while waiting to see if Justin decides to come back to me yet again and perhaps one of these times he'll stay. But regardless, I should do it in order to prove that I have the capacity to commit."

Danny laughed, his deep laugh that sent thrills through my chest to my groin. I rolled to my side so I could hold his whole body close to mine, moving to create a gentle friction.

"Find that funny, do you?" I growled, mock angrily.

"I find the whole situation farcical, but the fact remains, I promised Jennifer Taylor I'd do something to help Justin," he confessed. I stilled my frottage and frowned, irritated.

"Danny, I don't want us to ..."

"No, listen. I am yours, Brian, for as long as you want me," he spoke softly, but urgently, his bright eyes looking intently into mine. "But I also know that you wouldn't be happy if anything bad happened to that boy. What if we can show him what Edward is like, and also give him the chance to choose to leave him in a safe environment, with his friends around him? I'm not saying we break up, but we at least give Justin the chance to come home to you where Edward can't touch him, let him know that you still love him, as I know you do. We try to break the hold Edward has over him by giving him something else to choose, not you as a partner but you as someone who will be there for him and support him as a friend who loves him and will do everything in your power to help him move forward. He can't really do that in New York with just Miguel, who is understandably nervous about going up against Edward openly. Miguel has too much to lose if Edward were to get nasty, and he has no resources to fight him with. But here, with you and his family and friends, if Justin doesn't choose making his own way as an artist under those terms, with that much help, finishing art school or maybe going to study privately with a master, in Europe or somewhere if he can get accepted by one, he has no one to blame but himself. At least you'll know you did what you could for him."

"What if what he wants in order to leave Simon includes me back in his bed?" I asked, curious to see what Danny's response would be. I knew what mine was now. He took several long moments before answering, then exhaled heavily.

"I answered this question several weeks ago, Bri. I don't want to share you, and the more time we're together, the less I want to. But...I hate Edward Simon with everything I have in me that can hate. He killed my sister as surely as if he loaded that needle and shot her up. He left Briana motherless. He stole my chance of being on Broadway or in a major dance company simply because I wouldn't let him fuck me, which pales in comparison to the rest, but it's all related. I hate the idea of that blond boy I saw looking up to you so many years ago being destroyed by him. No one, no matter how stupid and gullible they are, deserves to have Edward Simon happen to them. So, if that is what it takes, you holding his hand and his cock, for him to have the courage to leave, I guess my answer is the same. I don't like it. But I'll live with it. If you have to fuck Justin to keep him away from Edward, then fuck him. I just hope at some point, you can be with just one of us and I really hope it's me."

I rolled over on top of him and gripped his face in my hands. "Noble, altruistic, Danny O'Keefe. When are you going to get it? I have chosen. And I'm not noble or altruistic. We'll try to save my stupid boy from evil Edward, but I've made my choice, you are the only one I want to fuck, much to the surprise of all of my so-called friends who think they know me so well, and you're stuck with me until you come to your senses and walk out on me." I smiled ruefully at him. "Do you have any idea what a leap forward it is for me to come to you after a session like I had with Mikey and Lindsay? With them pointing out to me all the reasons why a man like you is so far out of my league and would never stay with someone like me?"

I didn't get into the conversation with Aida. There would be time enough for that in the morning. I continued, "The old Brian would have spent at least a week hiding in the back rooms with his dick buried in any and every anonymous ass and mouth he could find after a session like that. But instead, once I got it all sorted out in my head, all I wanted to do was get home to you, mo chuisle."

Danny's smile melted any doubt that remained in my heart. This was the man I was meant to be with, this incredible man who was willing to set aside his own ego for the sake of a man who never did a thing for him, solely out of his love for me. He was my pulse. The man who started my heart beating again.

After discussing general plans for a sneak attack on Simon, with Danny insisting that he had to keep the details from me as I wasn't as good an actor as he was, we pushed all thoughts of the other two men from our minds...and bed...and I rolled over as my lover mounted me. I listened to his whispered words of encouragement as he pushed into me, his smooth, muscled chest flush against my back, his hard cock deep in my ass, pressing against my prostate again and again as he moved inside me, long fingered hands holding on to my sides, stroking smoothly along my chest and back, and finally taking my cock into his firm grip and stroking it in rhythm with his thrusts.

He was stroking into me so hard, holding me in place with his strong arms around me, fucking me with those hard thighs and hips pushing against me. It was never so good with anyone as it was with Danny. I yelled as I came into his hand and he pulled me up tight against his chest, pressing kisses to my back and neck as his own orgasm pumped into me, filling the condom to capacity.

"You're mine, only mine, mo gra," he whispered, as we collapsed together onto the pillows. He shared the come with me, licking his fingers together, tongues tangling over them. Then we fell asleep, arms and legs wrapped around each other, his long hair fanned out over my chest.

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