Better Friends and Lovers

Chapter 18

(Setting: An afternoon in late May; Babylon; POV/Emmett)

"Take five!" I watched as Danny jumped gracefully down from the stage. In the black wife-beater and tights he rehearsed in, you really could see that he was thinner than he'd been a few weeks ago. His muscles were even more defined, as what little body fat he carried before seemed to have been melted from him. It wasn't all due to exercise, although he did more than enough of that. He just had no interest in eating lately. It was taking all of my skill as a cook to get him to eat these days.

"I give up." Danny dropped down into the chair next to me. He was dripping sweat, having just spent two hours trying to teach a dozen or so cage dancers to look like they really knew how to dance. I passed him a juice bottle, which he drained in a gulp after smiling his thanks. He put his face down in his hands. Poor guy, I think he had it in his head that he had to get everything done in a week, instead of the six weeks he had. Of course, given what he was trying to do, twice that amount of time wouldn't be too much. Not content with simply a few hours of a benefit talent show, Danny had convinced the local station to give him twelve hours of air time. Now all he had to do was fill it with something that someone would watch. And unless he was willing and able to perform for that entire span of time himself, with some help from his friend Aida, he was going to have to work some miracles with the raw talent he got out of auditions. I gave him an encouraging smile.

"You don't give up. You'll probably just try to figure out new choreography, entitled, "Dance for the Two Left Footed." I grinned at him. He looked over at me, cocking one eyebrow..

"Left footed? Is that even a word? Doesn't matter, it explains what it is going on up there. I was beginning to worry that there was something in this place that blocked brain waves, kind of like mental asbestos. But having only left feet would explain why none of them can tell their left foot from their right foot when given a simple instruction." He pulled off the sweat soaked wife-beater and tossed it on the floor before rubbing his eyes with his hand. "Fuck, I'm tired."

"Why don't you break early? There's only so much you can do in one day. And the boys need to dance tonight, too, you know. They don't all have your ability to burn the candle at both ends, sweetie."

"I just want to get through this one number one time, it isn't that hard. I keep hoping that one of them will break-out from the pack. If I had one other male who could dance, I could do so much more, but..." He just waved his hand expressively. He didn't need to finish. All he had was a dozen or so hot looking guys whose best, um, assets, wouldn't be on view for these dances so they'd have to actually move in time to the music. Together. Thinking about it, I couldn't help wondering if maybe he should quit. Not that he would. I sent a wish out to any fairy godmothers that might be watching to bring Danny his dancer as he stood up to get back to rehearsing the guys he had.

"Hey, is it too late to audition to dance in the show?" A lazy voice drawled from behind us. I turned, startled. I hadn't heard anyone else come in the club. The blond hair falling in his light colored eyes, the slim build. Well, well. Who would have expected him to show up? Danny turned to look at him, his arms crossed over his chest, his normally friendly face cold.

"Brandon. How nice to see you here, but in case you didn't notice, auditions ..."

"Are ongoing. In fact, you can audition right now, can't he, Danny?" I interrupted his brush-off speech to give Brandon a big, welcoming smile while Danny stared at me like I was crazy. Before he could balk, I rushed on, "why don't you get yourself ready and give me whatever music you have to dance to and I'll take care of getting it ready for you."

"I didn't bring any music."

Danny was definitely looking irritated now but he merely turned back to me, waiting, with a look that said, you want me to audition him, you figure out how to do it without music. Danny was capable of very expressive looks; I think it had something to do with those mobile eyebrows of his.

"Uh, well, Brandon, is there a song you'd like me to play from the usual mix? I'm sure I can go ask Todd, who is running sound, if he can locate it and..."

"Nah, I'll dance to whatever he wants me to." Brandon indicated Danny with his chin.

"Is that right? Fine, and what kind of dancing do you want to do?"

"Whatever. O'Keefe can pick that, too." I was hoping that this could be the answer to Danny's problem and my wish, but not if he got much more annoyed with Brandon. He'd be wanting to plant his Prada boot in him for real this time instead of wanting to dance with him. It seemed to me that someone like Brandon wouldn't even offer unless he knew he would do well, but that attitude of his was off-putting even to me and I don't have Danny's temper. I was still trying to think of something to say when Danny walked away, directing some instructions at Brandon as he went..

"Fine, meet me up on the stage. Follow my steps as best you can. Boys, clear off, we're going to break a little early today so I can try to work something new out. Feel free to hang around if you want to watch." Danny gave one of his charming, dimpled smiles to the men as they moved off the stage that they had just walked back onto in preparation for the resumption of practice. Several sent curious glances at Brandon, who was stripping off his sports jacket, tie and shirt. "Before I forget to mention it, I want to say that you all did great today, thank you. Next practice will start at the same time, two days from now. Again, thanks for all your hard work, it's going to work out great.." There was a chorus of replies from the men, some of whom got a pat on the back, or a hug from the dancemeister. He certainly knew how to make people want to work their asses off for him. Then, as the last guy got off the stage, Danny called out, his voice all business, "Todd, cue track seven, please, and start it when I say go. Whenever you're ready, Brandon."

Danny leapt up onto the stage from his standing position, ten feet away on the floor.

Brandon had snorted a bit at Danny's speech to the other dancers. I looked at him questioningly. He was pulling off his pants. Underneath, he had dance tights on, much like Danny's. Well, at least he didn't plan on dancing in those snug dress pants of his. His body looked more muscular without his clothes, kind of like Brian.  He met my look with one of his patented expressionless stares. I wondered if he ever showed emotion. He made Brian seem bubbly. Looking more closely, I had to wonder if that was a touch of nervousness in his eyes, behind the bravado. Way behind the bravado.

"Nice of him to thank that bunch for their ‘hard work.' Of course, walking upright is probably hard work for a good half of them." I didn't know what to say to that so I just gave a weak smile. So much for Brandon being nervous. This was not looking like such a good idea, I was thinking, until the brash blond leapt up on the stage in perfect mimicry of Danny's move, even leaving the ground at the exact spot Danny had. I could see the gleam come into my buddy's green eyes from where I sat. Notwithstanding that, I decided to move a little closer to get an even better view. The other dancers were watching too, which wasn't any wonder, given that the two men made quite a picture up on stage in their black tights and shirtless. In fact, I got my picture phone out. This was an image I wanted to preserve, for those lonely nights.

"Well, here's what we'll do. This song has repetitive rhythms, I'll dance something for a 16 count then you try to duplicate it. I'll increase the intervals as we proceed. The music picks up a bit after each stanza but let's just see how it goes, okay?"

"Sure." Again, that nonchalant pose. I caught Danny rolling his eyes before he turned away.

The music started up, a Lucky Boys Confusion song that Danny had dumped for the big group since what he wanted just didn't work with the left footed boys. He started out with the opening moves, which required a pattern of crossing steps, then a spin, touch to the ground and then a couple steps backward.

"Holy shit!" Bill, one of the dancers sat down next to me, his mouth hanging open. Brandon not only duplicated Danny's moves perfectly, he did it pretty much as well as Danny, not only in time, but with a style all his own. Danny's grin grew as he watched, then he nodded to Brandon and started the next sequence, making the moves more complex. As they proceeded, and it became obvious that Brandon knew what he was doing, Danny started simply calling the next moves over to him and they danced together, Danny adding more complicated moves as the tempo picked up. Midway through, someone new came up behind me, but I was too engrossed with what was happening on the stage to turn to see who it was.

"Uh oh, Danny's going to have to finesse this or he'll get one new dancer but lose half his chorus line," commented a voice behind me. Brian leaned over my shoulder and grabbed one of the juice bottles I kept on the table in front of me for the dancers. Fair enough, he was paying for the refreshments for these practices. He pulled a chair over and turned it around so he could lean on the back of it. I stole a glance at the watching dancers. About half of the group looked as excited as I felt, responding spontaneously to the more impressive moves. The rest had their arms folded and stood there with expressions that varied from pissed off to chagrined. I hadn't thought about how some of the guys would feel after working so hard, to have Brandon just stroll up and show them up. I felt guilty over pushing Danny into auditioning Brandon right away, in front of everyone.

Danny ended with a mid-air flip, landing in a split. Brandon stopped short of performing the flip, doing a jump with an air split and then landing the split on the floor next to Danny. I was so excited, I jumped up and clapped wildly, pushing aside thoughts of how those splits must feel. I'd done splits in my cheerleading days, but not from the air like those. Ouch. The rest of the audience had mixed reactions. Some of them clapped and whooped enthusiastically over the dance, but the others were just watching silently. Brian just sat there, no expression on his face.

Danny jumped to a standing position, then gave Brandon a hand up. He said something to him quietly before moving to the edge of the stage to call his group over, his eyes flickering over the quiet ones. He crouched down to address everyone, waiting for Brandon to go offstage and into the back before speaking to them in a low voice.

"Listen up, guys. I'd like your input here. I think there's no question that Brandon is a trained dancer. I don't want any of you to think that he just got up here and danced like that out of the blue. He knew the names of moves that you don't pick up only dancing in clubs, I suspect he's taken a lot of lessons in this like I have. I also don't want you to think that what you just saw is what I expect from you, it isn't. Quite frankly, we've been working for a couple weeks together. He's obviously starting late. But, this is all for a worthy cause. None of us is doing it for our own ego gratification. We have a lot of hours to fill, and dancing will be a big part of it. I could use someone else who is an experienced, trained dancer. Another guy, that is. Girls with some dance experience are easier to find, but not males. Being queer, most of us rely on our natural rhythm and grace and skip lessons." He gave his dimpled grin at them with that and was rewarded with a laugh from the congregated men. I think just looking at that face and seeing those bulging thigh muscles at eye level he crouched in front of them was softening the moods of the miffed ones. The way his tights emphasized his package didn't hurt either.

"So, I asked Brandon to go in the back because I want to do this democratically and it's easier to be candid if the person isn't right in front of you. I'm going to ask for a show of hands, to show who is okay with him joining our squad. And I'm telling you now, if it isn't at least two thirds of the team, I think we have to go without him because we're working too closely together to have dissension among us. Does anyone want to say something before we vote?"

"Yeah, how would this work if you both are dancing like that? Won't we look pretty bad next to you? Having you was one thing, Danny, but with him and you, I don't know if you need us."

I knew the guy who asked this. Gabe was one of the older cage dancers, and some of the moves Danny had tried teaching the group were just beyond him. Brian kept him on because he was a big favorite with the crowds; plus he helped to train the younger guys and kept them in line. But he was from the era at Babylon when it was enough to have a big package in your g-string and a tight ass to shake. The fact that he was still shaking it five nights a week when I was pretty sure he was well over thirty was a testament to his staying power. He and Todd were both fixtures here.

"I'm glad you spoke up, Gabe. I can see using Brandon in a couple of ways, and all of them will require each of you staying as it will mean more dance numbers, not less. With another trained dancer, I can incorporate more of the dancing with the singing. In addition to what we've been trying to do, I can develop some new choreography which will be enhanced by being able to have him on one side and me on the other to guide the rest of you. As it is now, I have to put myself in the center, and everything kind of works from the middle. Plus, to be honest with you, it will save on my legs to have another dancer who can do the kind of moves I'm thinking of; I can move some of the solo spots to Brandon. Since I'll be working with the girls too, and singing, and accompanying on the piano and guitar as times, this is a major help. Last, but not least, it saves on everyone having to look at me all day. I can sit out some numbers and focus on just directing. Whatever we do, though, having him won't make you guys look worse. I expect it to make all of us look better."

Gabe nodded and with his tacit approval, the rest of the worried ones fell in line and there were no more questions. When Danny called for a show of hands, it was unanimous. Brandon was in. Danny walked to the back to talk to him after he formally released the other dancers again.

"Well, this will prove interesting," Brian noted dryly. "The wannabee stud of Liberty joining an ensemble. Wonder why he's doing it?" I looked over at him, surprised.

"The same reason everybody is, I would guess, because it's a worthy cause. Why else?"

"To get close to Danny, maybe? For attention? For close attention from Danny?" Brian looked annoyed. I think he had hoped the group would vote against his old, wait, make that his former competitor's entry into the dance troupe.

"Feeling nervous they might hit it off? Now that Danny and you are.... ? By the way, what exactly are you two these days anyway?" I tried to keep my face expressionless but it was difficult. I knew Brian had been trying for the past couple of weeks to patch things up with Danny but our dancing queen was keeping him at arm's length. He was perfectly friendly to him, but from what I could tell, no more sleep overs were taking place and all of their conversations were work or show related. Of course, Danny had been pretty busy with Briana, trying to help her make the adjustment with losing her grandmother. He was also spending a good bit of time at his mother's house, going through her things with his sisters since he was the executor, but I was pretty sure there was more to the apparent lack of any Danny and Brian togetherness than just him being busy. I'd tried to get Danny to talk about what had happened when Justin was in town, but he very politely changed the subject every time, and did it in a way that made it clear the topic was off-limits. And while I previously hadn't had the nerve to ask Brian what their status was, it didn't seem like he was a happy camper over it. He was back to glaring at everyone at Babylon when he did show up.

It served him right if he was feeling bad. He should have told Danny more about Justin than he had. And since he didn't, apparently taking the position that Justin and he were over, he had no business playing "hide the salami" with his former boyfriend the second he strolled back into town.

I was surprised to see Brian stop in at rehearsal, but maybe he was stepping up his efforts to get closer to the choreographer, especially since Ted said that there were no plans for Brian to be going to New York any time soon. Too bad Brian couldn't dance or he could have auditioned to get closer to Danny as he thought Brandon was doing. But with the way Brian danced, even though Danny's tutelage had made him better than he was, that option was out. In finally daring to ask him what was up, I figured I may as well stir the pot and see what came to the top, as Aunt Eulabelle used to say when instigating, but Brian just gave me his deadpan look and replied calmly to my question.

"Danny and I are what we've always been, good friends. Besides, I don't get nervous. I just don't trust Benson there. Why didn't he audition when everyone else did, why wait and show up once rehearsals are started when he clearly is an experienced dancer. Unless he had no intention of being in the show until he got word that the hot choreographer was..." Brian broke off his comment and frowned.

"Available?" I asked sweetly and this time he did glare. I didn't let that faze me. "Maybe you're right. That is a new development since the auditions. Or maybe he was out of town, or maybe he wasn't sure he'd have time, or maybe my little prayers were heard and Danny's fairy godmother sent him some help with the dancing before he worked himself to death. Now if only he could get some more singers."

"What do you mean, work himself to death? Is he doing too much? Why the hell did he commit to filling twelve hours of air time? He's always been like this, biting off more than he can chew. What's wrong with him, Emmett that you obviously haven't bothered telling me before now?" Brian was far from calm now as he plied me with questions.

"Nothing is wrong, unless you count working at Kinnetik, taking care of Briana, doing his other freelance jobs and on top of all of that, rehearsing with amateurs four hours every day, to be too much. The fact that he's barely eating and has lost about ten pounds in two weeks doesn't help. But you know all of this, don't you? You still being good friends and all." Brian looked a bit embarrassed at this, more significantly, he looked concerned, but before he could reply, Danny and Brandon came walking out together. Danny was looking fairly animated as he seemed to be making plans, and Brandon actually looked awake. Maybe Brian was onto something, and Brandon was interested in our little Danny.

"Oh hi, Brian, I didn't see you there. You remember Brandon, don't you? Did you catch him dancing with me? Turns out he went to Julliard, can you believe it? He's going to help with the show, which is a major break." Danny gave Brian a warm smile while the blond just smirked at him.

"Yeah, I caught the dance, very impressive. But then, Brandon's very good at copying the real thing." Danny frowned and his voice grew a bit colder as he responded, clearly much more bothered by the comment than Brandon appeared to be. He just gave Brian a faint smile in acknowledgment of the wisecrack

"There is no question that he's the real thing. Being a graduate of Julliard's dance division, he certainly has more entitlement to the claim of being a dancer than I do, being nothing more than a Penn State soccer player."

"I wouldn't say that," Brandon commented, to my surprise. He walked over to grab his slacks before adding, "I may have gone through the program, but I only danced professionally for two years before giving it up for law school. One of the reasons I want to do this is to have the opportunity to dance with David Luke."

"David Luke?" I asked. I didn't remember any of the guys being named David.

"My choreographing and dancing pseudonym," Danny explained. "I use my middle name combined with my brother's name for dancing, I'm D. Feeney when I compose, Feeney being Mama's maiden name."

"Two fake names? What are you doing, hiding your extra income from the IRS? Maybe I should do that, if I can ever come up with something else I can do, that is. I was lucky to come up with the one talent, and I suspect party planning is it for me." I made a face and Danny laughed before walking over behind my chair to lean down and give me a hug.

"You're good at lots of things and well you know it. And don't bother turning me in to the IRS for the reward, I pay plenty of taxes under all three names. I just keep them separate for my own reasons." Brian was scowling pretty heavily but it didn't seem to be directed at Brandon or me any more. I wondered if he knew the reason for Danny's aliases. I stopped thinking about it as Danny was bending closer, to whisper in my ear.

"I invited Brandon to join us at the diner for something to eat, you don't mind, do you? I know it's our first chance out without Briana since, well, for awhile, but it would give me a chance to go over my ideas with him before the next rehearsal."

"No baby, of course I don't mind. I invited Brian to join us too; that's okay with you isn't it?" I asked, smiling sweetly at Brian. I was taking the chance that he wouldn't rebuff the gesture and call me on my little white lie, which the old Brian would have done in a New York minute. He would have been too proud to take a bit of help from a friend, but this year's Brian was a little more human. And, I suspected, fairly motivated in not allowing Danny out of his sight with his "non-competitor."

Danny paused before answering me. Brian looked at him, giving him his most innocent look. Daphne always says Brian is at his most dangerous when he is looking the most innocent. Smart girl, our Daphne.

"If you don't want me joining you guys, that's okay, Danny. I came by in hopes of seeing you to discuss some of the plans for the show, but I can always try catching up with you some other time." Danny sucked in his bottom lip, and looked at Brian for a moment before answering.

"No, of course not, if you don't think you'll be bored, that is."

"Not at all, it'll give me a chance to hear first hand how things are going and maybe even get some ideas for promoting it, which is what I wanted to talk to you about. Not to mention, of course, that it'll give me the chance to get to know Brandon better." Brandon didn't look fooled by Brian's meek demeanor, but what could he say? Danny smiled at all three of us.

"Okay, great, give me five minutes to rinse and I'll be right back." Danny ran off.

Oh my, Brian had even used the right name; clearly he was going to be on his best behavior, at least to start. Brandon wasn't looking all that thrilled with Brian's inclusion, but he made pleasant enough small talk while we waited for Danny to grab a fast shower and dress. Brian had given him a pass to the upstairs area so he could use the small locker room there instead of having to use the one Sheba and her minions used. It also gave Danny access to the piano for rehearsing the singers.

To his credit, for such a fussy dresser, Danny had the ability to get ready really quickly when he wanted to. He was down in just a little over the five minutes he requested, and before Brian and Brandon could come to blows. It was a nice night out so the four of us decided to walk over to the Diner. My cup runneth over, walking down Liberty Avenue with three of the best looking guys you were ever going to catch in one spot in this part of town, which was saying something. In my party planning, I was coming into contact with more straights than I had in years, and I had to agree with Daphne, gays on a whole really are better looking. Which fact helped explain why Ted, a sweet guy but really on the average side in the looks department by Liberty Avenue standards, was such a hit when we went to that wedding with Lindsay and Melanie as their beards. In the straight world, hot guys seem to be at a premium.

****************************************************************************

(Setting: Later that evening; Danny's Townhouse; POV/Emmett)

"Thanks for baby-sitting Julie, I appreciate it."

"Anytime, Uncle Danny, I love Briana and I love your money. This way, I get access to both," the pretty dark-haired girl laughed. "You take care. I'll get her after preschool tomorrow and take her to our house. She's having a sleep over with my nieces, remember."

"Actually, I didn't, thanks for the reminder. I'll send her with her overnight bag packed. Em, I'm just going to walk Julie out to her car, be back in a minute."

"Bye, Emmett, you take care of my favorite uncle, you hear?"

"You know it, girl, ‘night." Mark's younger daughter, named after Matt's late wife, was such a sweetheart. Mark and his wife Lynn certainly had the knack for raising nice kids, even if the younger boys did tend to get a bit wild when they visited their uncle's house. The businessman of the family, he had six children, ranging from Julie's older brother, Mark, Jr., a twenty-six year old year old father of two himself, to ten year old twins, Bobby and Brett. Julie was eighteen and she had a sister, Rose, who was twenty-four, and the mother of a newborn, as well as another brother, fourteen year old Matt. I asked Danny once how he kept it all straight, and he told me, completely seriously, that he had a database on his computer that was devoted just to the family, all his nieces, nephews, and then their children as they came along, with, of course, all the birthdays tied in to a reminder system in the calendar so he never missed one. His computer sent him an email in time for each big day.

"And then, of course, there are all my cousins, though thank God I can get by with just a card or phone call with them, otherwise I'd be broke," he'd added, dimples flashing. One thing Danny wasn't in, however, was any danger of going broke. He had made quite a bit when he was modeling more often, and unlike most people who make money young, he'd handed it all over to Mark to invest, living fairly frugally. In addition to his modeling, he was a successful composer and choreographer, with a sizable portion of his income coming from those activities. He told me he only played in piano bars and took the odd hotel ballroom job to keep up with what people liked. All of this had come up when Brian charged me with finding out if Danny would be strapped for money when he broke his arm and was unable to play. Danny, of course, saw through my attempts to be subtle about it and was pretty amused at the thought that he could possibly afford his luxurious townhouse, not to mention all of the musical equipment he had, making tips in bars. At the same time, I think he thought it was sweet that Brian was concerned. Which made me wonder something as I waited until Danny was settled in again on the sofa next to me, his head in my lap while we watched one of my old Joan Crawford favorites. He had another one of his headaches so I was massaging his head for him as we watched TV.

"Hey, Danny?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you take a job with Brian's company? It's not like you need the money, and I would think it would get in the way of everything else you do, punching a clock at Kinnetik." He chuckled.

"Em, sweetie, when are you going to just come out and ask me what you want to ask me instead of these roundabout ‘subtle' questions of yours that take us twice as long to get to where you want to go? Isn't what you're really asking, why haven't I quit the job at Kinnetik, now that I'm no longer seeing Brian?" The dark head tipped back in my lap so the green eyes could peek at me. Well, yeah, that was part of what I was asking, I thought, but the question now was whether Danny was annoyed or amused. I decided to go with amused and persevere with the question.

"That was going to be my next question, baby, after I judged if you wanted to answer this one."

"Oh, you mean I have a choice?"

I pretended to be indignant.

"Of course you do, when do I ever pry?" He laughed softly to himself. "Okay, you don't have to answer that. But since we both know you don't hesitate to freeze me out when you don't want to answer..."

"I don't ever freeze you out, when have I ever done that?" He sat up, startled.

"When I asked about Justin's visit, for one."

"Oh, that. Sorry. I didn't mean to, it's just a sore topic for me. I can't believe I made such a fool of myself." He laid back down with a groan. I stroked his hair. He'd wanted to cut his hair short when his mother died, something about it being a Celtic custom, a sign of mourning, but I'd talked him out of cutting more than a couple of inches off as a symbolic gesture. I reminded him how much his mother loved his long hair. Now it fell to just to his shoulders, which looked good although he could no longer wear it in a braid. He had to get by with pushing it behind his ears when he needed it back. He also spent a bit more time drying it now to straighten it, disliking how curly it was. I thought it was adorable how it curled more now that it didn't have the weight pulling it down, but he was such a queen, fussing with it. For someone who gave the impression when out that he was completely oblivious to his looks, he spent a good bit of time obsessing about them at home. He was always sure that he didn't look good.

"When did you make a fool of yourself? I must have missed that part." No need to concentrate on Joan Crawford, I'd seen the movie a million times. This was the first time Danny seemed at all open to talking since his poor mother died. I still couldn't get over how he'd fallen apart at the wake, although I knew there was something wrong. He'd been just too calm up until then.

He closed his eyes and the tension in his face left as I continued to stroke his hair. I knew it was one of his favorite things. I wasn't sure if he was going to answer, or whether he was just going to go to sleep. Finally, he answered softly.

"How did I make a fool of myself? Getting all caught up in being with Brian, spending time at his place, thinking that maybe there was a future for us, and then meeting the lovely Justin. Finding out that Brian lied to me when he said that his thing with Justin was over; you pick."

"I don't think Brian lied to you, Danny. Have you talked to him about this? About what happened?"

"There's nothing to talk about. I was at his place, Em, I saw the look on Justin's face when he found me there. He was shocked. He practically called me a slut, talking about ‘a person like me,' and how he didn't want his partner seeing me. He even tried to throw me out. And then I went to Kinnetik, really expecting that Brian would have straightened him out about us, and there they were, fucking in Brian's office. What needs to be explained?"

"Okay, the fucking in the office was bad, but I think, in fact, I know, that Brian was taken by surprise by Justin, who hadn't even told him he was coming to town...."

"Obviously, or he wouldn't have allowed his ‘trick on the side' to sleep in that morning. I would have been rushed out the door, isn't that how the cheating man always does it in these movies you like?"

"Is that really what you think Brian is like? That he would lie to you, and to Justin, and just be using you to while away the time while his boyfriend is in New York?" Danny was quiet, obviously thinking over what I said. Brian was so going to owe me after this, especially since he got nowhere at the diner.

"Remember several weeks ago, not long after your accident, when you asked me whether I thought Brian was backing away? You were just thinking about it in terms of you and him, but I was thinking about the whole Justin and Brian situation. One of the things that concerned me was that he was jumping in too quickly with you on the rebound, that he wasn't giving himself time to get completely over Justin before rushing in, hot and heavy, with someone new. But what I was sure of, after really thinking about it, was that he cared a lot about you. Justin has been out of the picture down here since before Christmas, and Brian's visits had grown less frequent and shorter as the weeks went by without any return visits by Justin. Justin left to find his fortune in the big city, and for a while I thought he'd be staying in touch, but there's been no indication of that. He's moved on and I don't know where he gets off calling himself Brian's partner, especially when the wedding was cancelled, not postponed, and he's living with someone up in New York."

"He is? That little fuck! So where did he get off treating me like trash?" Danny sat up again. "I'm the only one who wasn't fucking two guys at a time! And the thing that had me most pissed off at Brian wasn't the fucking around, that hurt, but in all fairness, we never talked about being monogamous. Quite frankly, it's never been a problem I've had to deal with so I didn't think to bring it up with him." Of course not, I thought, looking at him. When you're Danny O'Keefe and have a body like a Greek statue and a face to die for, not to mention such a funny, charming, smart personality that no one even resents the first two attributes, why would any sane man cheat on you? Of course, no one ever said Brian was completely sane when it came to his little blond trick that wouldn't go home, as Michael used to call Justin. Danny noticed the face I was making at him and gave me a hug, laughing.

"You're really so good for my ego, Em, you know that don't you? Of course boyfriends might have cheated on me, but I never really thought about it because except for one other time, I've not been that emotionally invested in the relationships. And even that one time that I was, we were into more of a scene, where other sex partners were pretty much the norm, although we did it as a pair. Etienne introduced me to quite a bit when we were in France together. But I'm getting off track," he smiled.

"And don't think I won't get you back on that track. I'm going to want all the dirty details of your life in Paris, and if you don't tell me, I'm going to ask Aida, I know she'll talk." He laughed, relaxing back down again. I shifted his head gently and got up.

"I'll tell you what. I'm going to fix us each a big bowl of ice cream, with whipped cream and chocolate sauce, and then we're going to have a good old fashioned girl talk. You stay right here."

"I can't eat ice cream this late!" he balked.

"At the weight you currently are, you sure can. I thought Debbie was going to cry when she saw you. I got smacked in the head twice tonight, and she hardly ever smacks me. She wanted to know what the point was of me moving in here to help out if I wasn't even making sure you ate right."

"Is that why she hit you? I thought it was because you brought me to the diner in the first place."

"Now you know she's been much nicer to you lately, making you food and offering to help with Briana She just took a little time to get used to you."

"She's nicer now because she knows I'm not seeing Brian. And because she feels sorry for me. I can do without that, thank you very much."

"No, I'm not sure that's quite it. She's been rather funny about how Justin acted when he was down. He was a bit stand-offish, she thinks. He made no time to go over to her house despite being here for four days. He only went by the diner once, and if not for that, he wouldn't have seen her at all."

"That's not unusual. He's young, and this is his first time away from the home crowd. He was bound to rub a few people wrong when he came back. It's kind of like a college freshman when they come back home, all self important from being out in the world. She would know that if Michael had gone away to school."

I looked back at him from the kitchen where I was getting the snack ready. Danny was getting a sundae whether he wanted it or not, and I would just force feed it to him if I had to. I was a bit surprised to hear him defend Justin. But then again, that is just like Danny, to be fair no matter what his personal stake. I thought for a minute about what he said as I considered the various containers of ice-cream from the freezer. Rocky Road, that'll do the trick, with a little vanilla pecan for contrast. And plenty of whip creme and chocolate sauce. Maybe some cut up banana too.

"Well, actually, now that you mention it, when Michael did go away, not to college but traveling with a boyfriend, David the chiropractor, he came back snobby as all get out. None of us could stand him for awhile. So you think that's all that's going on with Justin? He's excited about being away from home on his own, and once the novelty wears off, he'll go back to being the sweet kid he always was?" I walked out with our pair of triple decker, chocolate sundaes. Danny took one look at them and cracked up laughing, which was a good thing for him even if he didn't eat much. It wasn't all that easy getting him to relax and laugh anymore. Once the day was over, Briana was in bed, and he didn't have to pretend everything was okay, all the sadness just seemed to settle on him like a weight. He didn't even want to go out with me. Of course, that wasn't such a strange thing, given how hard he worked at seeming upbeat all day. He needed some time just to be himself and grieve.

Danny reached up and took one of the sundaes from me, rewarding me with a genuine smile.

"Thanks, sweetie. But what is this? No diet coke to wash it down with? I need it to block the calories from the ice-cream, you must know that rule of dieting. Anything you eat while drinking a diet soda doesn't count. What do you want to drink?" He placed the bowl down on the coffee table, then gracefully unfolded his long legs to stand up and head to the kitchen himself.

"Regular coke for me, sweetie, I don't ruin the taste of all this sugar with something unnatural. And why you drink diet is a mystery to me."

"So I don't look like the whale that hides inside this body, begging to be let out," he retorted. Coming back, he returned to our prior discussion. "I don't know whether Justin will return to being the person you all knew. I just think, personal feelings aside, since personally, my feeling is that he's an ass, but notwithstanding that, oh my God, this is a great sundae, Em, you are a God of ice-cream sundae making. I may give up sex and just eat your sundaes for gratification."

"Yeah, I can see it now, the reactions among the men of Babylon if they were to find out that the hottest guy to hit its dance floor in years was giving up sex and it was all my fault," I said dryly.

Danny laughed as he dug into his ice-cream. "I was making a point before you started planning your demise at the hands of the masses of men I'm not sleeping with anyway. Fucked if I know what it was, though."

"You were explaining Justin's attitude, with your personal feelings aside."

"Oh yeah, right. Didn't I finish?" I gave him a look. He had ice cream around his mouth. Okay, I was not thinking about licking it off for him. So not going there, even in my mind. Now his tongue was licking it away, and that was worse. Why do I do this to myself? Because he's fun, and exciting, and sweet, and he needs me, I answered myself. So, once again, I rejected any idea of leaving Danny to his own devices in favor of my own peace of mind.

"Is something wrong, Em? You're looking at me strangely. I know I keep losing track of what I was saying but that's your fault. I'm high on sugar. I can hold any amount of alcohol, but give me sugar and I'm a falling down, blithering mess. My point was, I think, that Justin is just like any kid away from his family for the first time. He thinks he's the only one to ever go away, and everything is so boring by comparison back home, that he naturally thinks that everyone and everything should revolve around him." Danny waved his spoon around in circles.

"Did you do that when you went away to college?" He laughed and put his ice cream down, half eaten. He rested his head on my shoulder.

"Nah, not an option when you're the twelfth one to do it. By around John and Mary Fran, my parents stopped putting up with that shit, not that it stopped it completely, the sibs just limited how much they did it at home around my parents. Plus, having seen it as each of them came home, I was determined not to act that way. And besides, there wasn't anything new about going away to Penn State by the time I did it, it was like a home away from home. New York was more of an adventure, but even that had been done by Angel first. And well before then, new babies were much more exciting and impressive to everyone than another show or modeling gig."

"That's a shame," I couldn't help saying. He laughed at me.

"What is? That I never had my turn at being an ass? I think I managed okay without it, but thanks for the sympathy, sweetie. I bet you never had your asshole period, either."

"Baby, think about that comment for a second." He tilted his head perplexed for a moment, then burst out laughing delightedly.

"Okay, that's enough sugar for me. I'm losing touch with reality as we know it if I can say that to you, bottom man. I'm going to check on Bree one more time then head off to bed. Are you going to watch the rest of the movie?"

"Yeah, baby, I think so. You get some sleep."

He stood up and looked down at me for a long moment. Then he pulled me up and hugged me tightly.

"Em, do you want to...." he whispered in his deep voice, pulling my head down so he could put his lips next to my ear. He smelled so good, and he felt so good to hold, and I wanted so much to say yes. But then I would just be taking advantage of his loneliness, and possibly ruining our friendship. Danny had once again avoided talking about Brian, but he was a presence in the room, as much as he was in the diner earlier. I wasn't sure of what was going on with Justin and Brian anymore, but I was as sure as I've ever been of anything that Danny loved Brian. More than that, I was pretty sure that they belonged together, and the last thing I should do was something that could get in the way of that. But it was really hard to turn him away right then.

"Check on Briana for you? Sure. I'm going to watch the rest of the movie in my room anyway so there's no sense in you going upstairs, too. Get yourself to bed and sleep off that sugar, baby." I pushed him gently away. He bit his bottom lip, then nodded and turned away.

"Good night, Em. And thanks for everything." He looked back at me. "I love you, you know."

"I know, baby, I love you too, now go before I do something I'll regret, like make another sundae."

****************************************************************************

(Setting: Danny's townhouse; slightly later; POV/Danny)

God, I must be six kinds of idiot, hitting on Emmett like that. I'm lucky he doesn't get fed up with me. It really wouldn't be fair to start something like that with him when I'm so hung up on Brian. But part of me just wishes I could be happy with Em. He's sweet and loving. He's great with Briana, and I know he's attracted to me that way although he tries to hide it. Maybe if I started out pretending, eventually the feelings would come. I know if I pushed a little, I could overcome his hesitations. But it would be wrong, I know that, and tremendously unfair to him; he deserves the best. He sure as hell wouldn't be getting my best. I gave that to Brian. It's just so lonely. I've gotten used to being with someone again, and this is such a really bad time. I dread the night time. I know it's natural to be down, but to lose Brian at the same time as losing Mama just seems to make it that much worse. One of the bad things about being born to older parents is you know you won't have them with you as long, but at least with Mama, I know I did as much as I could have while she was alive to show her how much I loved her. I miss her, but there's not the same feeling of regret, of wishing I'd done something differently, like I had when Angel died. And to some extent, when Dad died. I wish I could have been closer to him, but there was only so much I could do there, short of pretending to be straight.

With Brian, there's this whole sense of unreality. How could I have been so wrong about him? About us? He keeps trying to talk to me alone but I've avoided it. I'm afraid of what he'll say. When I woke up with him after he took care of me, after I flipped out at Mama's wake, all I could think of was getting away. And yeah, of hurting him back. I've wondered how he felt when he woke up and I was gone. Tonight at the diner, he had that mask on that he wears. He doesn't like Brandon, but I thought the guy was a lot nicer tonight than he was the first time I met him. He was going out of his way to be nice, at least to me. Brian and he acted like a pair of dogs over the same bone at times, which was pretty funny. Very polite dogs, that just took little warning snaps at each other, neither one trying to get the bone but content to make sure the other one was getting anywhere with it either. But there were a few times when I caught a look in Brian's eye when he didn't think anyone was looking at him, that he looked as sad and lonely as I felt.

I stared at the phone. Maybe Em was right and I should at least give him a chance to explain. If nothing else, clearing the air will make it easier to go back to being friends. Yeah right, like I would be happy with that after having everything I ever dreamed of with him. Still, it was worth making a fool of myself again, just to be sure there was no chance. I'd already been stupid once tonight, why not go for twice? Taking a deep breath, I reached for the phone, and debating whether to call the loft or his cell when it rang. Saved by the bell. I checked the caller ID. Not so saved. It was Brian.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself. How are you?"

"Okay, I guess. I was just going to call you, in fact." Why the hell did I tell him that?

"Really? I'm glad." He really sounded it too. I closed my eyes and pictured him. He was calling on his cell. I wondered where he was.

"Why did you call?"

"I was just going to ask you what you were going to call me about. I mean, it wasn't anything like you're quitting, was it, because Danny..." He voice changed, got higher. I swear he even sounded nervous, except of course Brian never got nervous. Not so you'd notice. I cut in.

"No, nothing like that. Why, are you calling to fire me?" My stomach clenched at that thought; which was silly, because if he called to do that, he wouldn't have been concerned about me quitting, right? And Brian would fire me in person, not on the phone.

"Of course not, you're one of the best things to happen at Kinnetik. Listen, Danny, I really want to talk to you, to explain things, but it's been impossible to see you alone. I know you don't have any reason to want to listen to me, but do you think I could see you?"

"You saw me tonight, we had dinner together, remember?" I was stalling, but I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I wish Emmett were still with me so I could ask him. But I knew what he'd say, he insist Brian deserved a hearing, since that was pretty much what he'd been telling me tonight.

"I couldn't very well discuss us with Bradford there." I chuckled.

"You know what his name is, Brian. But no, I guess you couldn't. Okay, when and where do you want to talk?"

"I'm right outside and unless you changed the lock on me, I could be up the stairs and inside in two minutes."

I felt panicked. I wasn't ready for this. But the thought of having Brian in the room with me was too much to withstand. I would just have to be cool and collected and listen to him with a detached ear. Yeah, right. And then I'll sing Evita...the Eva Peron role.

"Danny, are you still there?"

"Yeah," I answered hoarsely. "Come on up. I'm in my room. But Brian?"

"Yes, Danny?" His voice sounded so warm and wonderful and suddenly I felt so vulnerable to him.

"Nothing's going to happen, okay? We're just going to talk, promise?"

"If that's what you want, sure."

I took a deep breath.

"Yeah, that's what I want."

"Okay green eyes." I looked up at the man of my dreams, standing in my bedroom doorway.

This was going to be so hard.

Return to Better Friends and Lovers