Carpe Noctem

Chapter 3

After Jenn and Daphne left the rest of the gang took it as a sign that they could finally go home or check on Justin themselves. While Ted and Emmett went home, Mel and Linds went to see Justin. When they came back out Linds walked over to her friend and gave him hug. She knew better than to push Brian when he was like this, although truth be told she'd never really seen him like this before. "You call if you need anything." She said sincerely, looking to see if he would reveal anything of what was going on in his head.

He looked at her and gave her a slight smile. "I will." Then his eyes returned to watching Ethan across the room. Lindsay had to be satisfied with that, but she felt her heart warm a bit, maybe Brian was finally coming around

Mel came over and touched her elbow. "Come on, we need to get back." As she and her wife left the building Mel glanced over at Brian. She'd never been a fan of his, but she was confused as to how she should react to this, to see him so visibly shaken was very out of character as far as she was concerned.

When Deb and Vic had returned from their turn to Justin's room, they along with Michael and Ben all decided to head home. Michael looked back over at his best friend. Brian was still having a staring contest with Justin's…his, well whatever. Michael was entirely confused by Brian tonight, he wasn't being himself. He decided that he would have to go and talk to his best friend later to figure what the hell was going on.

Ethan and Brian were now left alone in the waiting room. Brian was still thinking about what Ethan had revealed earlier, about Justin collapsing before and decided to end the stand off and reiterate his question. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" He asked again, his hazel eyes boring into the brown ones of the man across the room.

"Who would I have told?" he asked exasperatedly, "You? And rush the inevitable." He added with a sad laugh.

"What?!" What had before been anger at the young man for hiding Justin's ailment now became confusion.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Ethan exclaimed and then sighed, he really didn't want to do this here, but from the look he was getting from Brian he knew there was no way of avoiding it. "I barely know you and have really only known Justin for a relatively short amount of time but it's obvious to me, and probably everyone else, that you two will get back together." Brian looked at him shocked. "I guess I just wanted to cherish the time we still had…" he trailed off and glanced down at the floor. Brian was surprised by this insight. It was something that he was hoping for, but the last person he'd expected to hear it from was the violinist who had stolen Justin's heart. He suddenly felt a surge of respect for the man across the room, he'd held on to what he'd wanted, unlike him, pushing Justin away.

Ethan looked back up at Brian. "I love him." He stated simply, returning his eyes to the floor.

Instead of giving a standard Kinneyism on the subject of love Brian studied the other man's face. 'I know the feeling.' Brian thought to himself, not saying anything else, his silence speaking volumes.

Brian watched as the other man stared at the floor for the moment deciding on his next move. He then turned and walked over to the window picked up his jacket where Daphne had left it for him, slung it over his shoulder and sauntered back across the room.

"After you." He said motioning to the hallway that led to Justin's room. Ethan looked up at him hesitantly but the desire to see his lover took over and he stood and began walking towards the room.

Brian and Ethan walked side by side down the corridor, keeping their distance as they made their way to Justin's room. Once they reached their destination they both stepped quietly into the room, despite being told that the blonde was still unconscious. There were relatively few machines in the room, since Justin's condition was stable. Brian hated seeing the younger man like this; he looked fragile and more pale than usual.

Both men were hyper aware of the other's presence. Brian, never one to be self-conscious, felt unsure about how to act in front of the younger man. What he really wanted to do was to go over to Justin and just touch him to make sure he was alright, he was sure that then he could finally feel some relief over the blonde's state. However, with Ethan in the room, he refrained himself, as did the other man.

They both stood just inside the doorway for quite some time. The look on Ethan's face was a troubled one and anyone who looked at him would have been able to tell he was doing some serious thinking and deciding. Brian, however, was completely focussed on the man in the hospital bed across the room, watching his chest rise and fall as he slept.

Finally after more than half an hour of silence, Ethan spoke. "What are you doing here Brian?"

Brian thought for a moment, what could, or should, he reveal to the man next to him? He decided it was all or nothing, and went for it. "You see that blonde sleeping across the room?" he asked without removing his gaze from Justin's sleeping form, "I'm here because of him. Because I hate waking up without him in my bed, because when he's not around he's all I think about and when he is around he's all I see. Because I miss watching his eyes dance while he's creating something beautiful, or the way only he can make me feel." He finally took his eyes off of Justin's form and turned to look at the man standing next to him. He could see in Ethan's eyes how much he cared for Justin, but he could also see something else, something he couldn't quite place. "I'm here because this time…this time, I'll fight for him." As he let the last words escape his lips, his voice cracked with emotion. Brian felt a wonderful sense of relief fill him, because he knew what else was in Ethan's eyes now, acceptance.

Ethan nodded his head. Brian watched as he walked over to the side of Justin's bed and placed a gentle kiss on the artist's forehead. He looked up at Brian, a fierce look in his eyes, "You better take good care of him, cause if you don't I'll be there…"

Brian looked at Justin's angelic form and smiled, "No need to worry, I won't be letting go again, any time soon."

Ethan took one more glance over the form of his muse and then left the room, and Justin, to Brian.

As Brian made his way over to his unconscious blonde he realised everything he had just revealed to Ethan, someone who was almost a complete stranger! Brian Kinney revealing that he had emotions? That he actually cared about someone? It was all true, but something that he rarely admitted, even to himself, let alone out loud. He shook his head. 'What the hell is wrong with me? It must be this goddamned place!'

However, looking at the pale features of the young man in the bed next to him, Brian realised how close he came to losing Justin again, without ever letting him know how he felt. He gently pushed back some of the blonde hair that was covering Justin's eyes. His hair was longer, and it looked damn hot, but it was nothing compared to those beautiful blues. Brian had always loved Justin's eyes; they were beautiful and so bright. They sparkled most of the time, when he was around people; but when they were alone, Brian could make them turn into deep blue lust-filled pools.

As he had already been at the hospital for hours and the nurse who came to check up on Justin's vitals assured him it would be at least a few more hours before Justin would come around, Brian decided to get a little rest in the uncomfortable hospital chair in the corner of Justin's room.

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A few hours later Brian awoke to the sun that was now streaming through the dusty Venetian blinds. He stood up to stretch; his long limbs were in agony after sleeping on the cheap plastic chair. As he stood he pushed the chair and it scraped across the floor.

Across the room the blonde's eyes shot open and looked around nervously. Brian was still mid-stretch when he heard the soft voice whisper fearfully, "Is someone there?"

Brian immediately looked across the room; to be sure he had heard what he had thought he had. Justin was awake! His eyes were still darting around the room and he looked extremely tense. "It's me, it's Brian." He said. Justin's posture immediately relaxed. Brian took that to mean that Justin didn't mind that it was him who was there.

"Would you turn on a light, I can't see a damned thing." Justin asked Brian with a slight laugh. Brian on the other hand looked at Justin like he'd grown another head.

'Turn on a light?' he thought, 'Was this some kind of joke?' The sunshine that was coming through the window was bright enough to fill the entire room with light however the way Justin had said it made Brian unsure if he was joking or not. He took a few uneasy steps closer to Justin's bed. Justin's eyes were looking in his direction, but not at him. Brian began to feel extremely uneasy.

"Where are you? Will you please turn on a light?" Justin pleaded with the man approaching his bed. Brian finally reached the side of Justin's hospital bed. Justin could feel his presence and looked over to the side of the bed, hoping to see Brian's outline in the darkness, but there was nothing but black. The uneasy feeling that Brian had, suddenly began to stir inside Justin.

"Brian?" The fear in the younger man's voice as he said his name broke Brian's heart. He reached over and gripped Justin's hand, but couldn't make out any words to say. He saw as Justin bent his head down to look at their hands and then looked back at him with imploring, yet strangely void eyes.

"It's light in here isn't it?" Justin said sadly, closing his eyes and leaning back on the bed. He knew that Brian would never lie or sugarcoat things for him.

"Yes." Brian's voice almost caught in his throat as he saw defeat wash over Justin's features. He watched in disbelief as a tear escaped from Justin's now sightless eyes and rolled down his porcelain cheek.

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