Broken Toys

Chapter 54

"Well look who decided to join us." Billy smirked at the pair as he shoved their caps and gowns at them. "Come on before Parker decides he likes us too much to let us graduate." Together they started towards the area of the gym where the graduates were to line up.

"I wouldn't worry too much about that, Mr Tepper," Dean Parker interrupted, placing his hand lightly on Billy's shoulder. "I never interfere with miracles, and you graduating just might qualify." He leaned closer and spoke loudly by Billy's ear, but for the benefit of the whole group of boys. "That is, if I can get all of you to get in line."

A chorus of "yes,sir", "right away,sir" and even a snappy "aye, aye, sir" complete with salute sent the Dean on his way as the boys hurried into their places in the gym. Snuffy lingered behind with Casey, helping him into his gown and adjusting his cap.

"Long night?" he asked quietly when Zeke was several long strides ahead. After a few beats of silence he added, "Not in a good way?"

"It's ok, Snuffy," Casey replied softly, his eyes catching his friend's for just a moment before sliding away. There was a moment of connection there, of wistful sadness and what ifs that would never be spoken aloud; thoughts of people and events that had changed them all so much, and set them so far apart.

"I told you not to get him started on that boxers or briefs discussion again," Snuffy offered at last, a barely concealed grin tugging at his mouth.

"You know Zeke doesn't wear either," Billy sing-songed, catching the conversation as Casey and Snuffy rejoined the group. "Cause he's sooo jealous of my complete line of Marvel Superhero boxers."

"Nah, it's because he can't handle those big decisions." Ric took up the familiar boxers versus briefs taunt while Zeke just smirked and looked away. After a moment he looked back, tassle swinging absurdly over the edge of his cap.

"Your jealousy is so transparent, boys." He regarded them all calmly then looked around at the groups of boys slowly resolving themselves into an orderly arrangement. "Time to line up like good little soldiers." He brushed a hand against Casey's arm as they passed each other.

*****

Zeke supposed that one of the advantages of graduating from a small school like this was not having to watch hundreds of students go get their diploma. On the other hand, the speeches seemed that much longer to make up for it. Could this guy talk any slower?

He silently recited the names of all the graduates in alphabetical order by last name - comma - first name. Then he concentrated on not tapping his foot or fingers, not picking at the sleeve of his gown and above all not standing up and screaming.

Problem was, each and every speaker was droning on about time to reflect and that was exactly what he didn't need; he'd had too much time for that last night, parked off in the middle of the woods, too frozen to go on and too tangled up in his head to go back to Casey.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath, earning a look from Toynbee, Walter and Williams, Franklin.  He ignored them and pretended to care that the current speaker was quoting Ronald Reagan or Winston Churchill or whoever it was they were quoting.

He could feel Billy watching him from a few seats away and willed away the flush of discomfort that burned his neck. He felt like a fly trapped under a magnifying glass in the hot sun, being scrutinized for all of his flaws, burning up in the oppressive heat.

What was he doing here?

Under the cloudless blue sky, surrounded by the well-kept greens of the school, he felt as trapped as he'd ever been inside the concrete hell of

Herrington High. As trapped as the night that creature had almost destroyed them.

The night that everything had gone so wrong but he'd been a hero. How completely selfish he was to wish that it hadn't ended; that he could have kept on being the one in charge, the one everyone, especially Casey, looked up to. How could he ever tell Casey the truth?

"Tyler," Toynbee was hissing at him, gesturing for him to stand up with the others and begin the slow forward procession to claim his diploma.

Billy's hand came out of nowhere, a steadying gesture of reassurance that pulled Zeke back into the now. He took a couple of deep breaths and blew them out slowly, keeping his eyes trained on the back of Toynbee's head.

It would be all right if he didn't think too much, didn't over-analyze.

It would be all right.

It.

Would be.

All.

Right.

And then he was holding something and following Toynbee again and Billy was just ahead, half-turned and smiling with a goofy thumbs-up gesture that finally let Zeke breathe again.

The concluding remarks were mercifully short and as the graduates were presented, Zeke felt the last of his dark mood slide away. The sun was high overhead and he wanted to throw off the black gown and lay himself out on the grass, preferably with a person or two curled up beside him.

"Hey!"

Zeke turned, arms stretched skyward to release the tension of the last hour. Hank was closing fast, his gown already loosened, and he was carrying his cap.

"Zeke, come on, I want you to meet my parents. Casey and Billy are already there."

"Sure, man." Zeke followed along gamely, willing to play the parental suck-up game for a few minutes. After all, he wouldn't exactly be living next door to the guy any more.

"So was that speaker a total snore or ..." Hank was saying as they rounded the corner of the science building to where his family was waiting. Zeke followed, but stopped cold at the sight.

"No way," Zeke cut Hank off.

"Zeke." A beautiful woman stepped forward, arms upraised just slightly in greeting, a handsome man just behind her.

"No fuckin' way."

"Zeke?" The woman took another step forward, hesitating now. Her smile frozen into a mask and her eyes almost fearful.

"Son," the handsome man said calmly, moving to the woman's side. He exuded calm and control, but there was the tiniest of uncertainties behind those eyes. This was not the reception he expected.

"What is this?" Zeke demanded, backing up another half-step, only to encounter brick. He looked wildly, left then right, desperate to escape, but Hank blocked him on the right and Casey and Billy were now on his left.

"Zeke?" Casey was touching his arm, leaning in close and speaking urgently, eyes serious. "It was my idea. I asked Hank. Don't be upset. Please? Just..." Casey looked over at the distraught couple "...talk to them, okay?"

Zeke looked deep into Casey's eyes, then up at the assembled crowd, noting the absence of one person - Casey's mother. He looked over at Billy who shrugged, then looked back at Casey and nodded slowly.

"For you, Case."

"No, Zeke. For you, or not at all." Casey squeezed his arm lightly then stepped back.

Zeke wanted more than anything to sweep Casey and Billy up into his arms and kiss them both breathless. Instead, he pushed himself away from the building and took two steps towards his parents.

"This is a surprise."

"Hopefully a good one?" his mother asked,  taking a tentative step forward and reaching up to touch his face. There were tears in her eyes. Zeke couldn't remember having ever seen her cry. He leaned over and brushed a kiss against her cheek.

"I'm glad you're here."

Suddenly he was enveloped in two sets of arms, surrounded by touch and scent that he shouldn't have remembered, but did. Just for this moment, he held on tight and didn't let himself think about anything.

Return to Broken Toys