Broken Toys

Chapter 3

Casey's smile was captivating. Billy almost felt like laughing from the joy of seeing his roommate like this.

Dean Parker was smiling too, although it was more reserved, of course. He seemed to know what Billy was thinking because he waited until Casey was at the far side of the room examining the new equipment before speaking.

"This was a good idea, Mr. Tepper. I appreciate the generous donation your parents made. With that and the money we received from an anonymous donor we were able to purchase everything needed to set up this darkroom. The rest of the equipment will arrive next week."

"Funny how that anonymous donor knew exactly how much we needed. Any idea who it might be?"

"Do you know the meaning of anonymous, Mr. Tepper?" The faint smile ruined the dean's effort to appear stern. "The donation was earmarked specifically for darkroom equipment and supplies. The note also suggested that Mr. Conner's talents might be employed to oversee the equipment and possibly teach other students how to use it."

"Sounds like you're talking about a job, Dean Parker." Billy managed to look completely serious, but his eyes sparkled as he watched Casey open cabinets and examine everything. He'd never seen Casey so animated.

"I believe you are correct, Mr. Tepper," the Dean replied before raising his voice and adding, "If Mr. Conner could drag himself away long enough to discuss wages."

Casey set the bottle he was holding down carefully and turned, uncertainty on his face. "Sir?"

"Come with me, Mr. Conner. We have important matters to discuss. Mr. Tepper, perhaps you could actually consider attending class now. If you hurry, you'll only be 10 minutes late."

Billy flashed a grin at Casey and hurried off.

*****

Billy tilted his head and studied the photo from a new angle. It didn't help much. Well, at least he knew how Casey spent his time on weekends.

"Do you ever take normal photos, Casey or are they all this artsy weird stuff?"

"That's not weird, Billy, it's a double exposure. I was experimenting." Casey reached over and took the photo out of Billy's hands, setting it back on the pile carefully. He'd spent the entire day in the darkroom, emerging only for classes and when Billy dragged him out for meals. He made it back to the room just before curfew and was happily organizing his photos.

"Yeah, well next time don't smoke that stuff while you're taking pictures. There's not a thing here that looks like anything." Billy took up another stack and frowned at the image of grass tilted at improbable angles.

"I wasn't trying for a Kodak moment," Casey said, smiling too much to sound annoyed. He reached out and handed Billy a photo. "This one is for you."

It was an ordinary window, angled as if photographed from below and to the right. Reflected in the glass was a single cloud with just the edge of the sun behind it, and in one corner on the windowsill was a vase with a single lily. Billy studied it curiously, wondering what... oh. Barely visible beyond the glass were two silhouettes, embracing. It was almost haunting, one of those things that made you keep looking at it.

"Casey..." he looked up from the photo into those eyes and moved closer without conscious thought. Inches apart he whispered, "Thank you."

Casey touched his wrist, whisper soft touches tracing patterns over the faint scars.

It would be so easy to just... close the distance between them, with a touch, a kiss, words... fill the empty aching space with something good and right. But he was so...

"Afraid," Casey whispered, not a question, but a confession.

Billy saw his emotions reflected back in Casey's eyes. Fear, longing and need. Not love, but affection, and concern.

Billy balanced on the blade's edge of indecision. He didn't want to believe he could be so controlled by fear but...

Casey's lips were against his, not pressing or demanding, just there, soft and warm, waiting for acceptance or rejection. Risking, probably expecting rejection. Billy could feel the tension in the other boy's body.

Casey was bracing for the blow, expecting to be hurt. Deciding that he must, on some basic level, be deserving of so much pain. He'd lived like this for so long, he didn't know any other way.

Billy felt all of that in Casey as he tilted his head the slightest bit and responded, turning the contact into a full kiss, letting it deepen between them as he drew Casey into an embrace.

He ended the kiss gently, just letting the boy rest against him, savoring the warmth.

They leaned against each other until Casey pulled away, blushing pink and smiling shyly. Before he could speak Billy interrupted.

"Guess we should get some sleep. The warden will be around soon checking for lights-out."

"Yeah. Billy..." Casey met his gaze for a moment, then looked away. "Good night."

"Night, Casey."

Not another word was spoken, although it was a long time before either one slept.

*****

"Shouldn't you be packing or something?" Casey wondered, watching as Billy settled comfortably on his bed.

"Why? I'm not going anywhere."

"But, I thought you were going home for break." Casey looked confused.

"Not me. Parents had a change of plans, so I cashed in my plane ticket. Seems I need to go buy a camera." Billy almost managed to keep the grin off his face.

"Camera?" Casey looked skeptical. "Do you mean a real camera or one of those hunks of plastic that tourists use?"

"Why Casey, I had no idea you were a camera snob."

Casey shot him a look and picked up his own camera. "I saved every penny for almost three years to buy this. It's not the best, but it's a good camera. If you're really serious I could help you pick something good."

"Sounds like a plan. How's this, you help me buy a good camera and I'll treat us to lunch. Maybe some real pizza instead of the stuff they serve here. Maybe even some ice cream." He knew Casey loved pizza and ice cream.

"Deal. When do you want to go?"

"As soon as you get your skinny self dressed. You think I'm going into town with you looking like that?"

Casey looked down at his faded shirt and jeans stained with chemicals from the darkroom.

Billy watched as Casey changed into a different outfit, noting that the bruises that had once colored his back and chest were almost gone, just a few patches of fading greenish yellow remained. As Casey straightened Billy realized that he wasn't slouching anymore, and his head was level, not bowed. Billy couldn't stop the smile that curved his mouth.

"What?" Casey asked, smiling back at him. "You look like you're plotting another raid on the science lab."

"Who told you about that?" Billy demanded, finally getting off the bed and putting on his shoes.

"You're not exactly quiet stumbling around in the dark at three a.m. Besides, you need to find some new hiding places if you expect to keep things a secret."

Billy just stood there, mouth open. He'd been so sure...

"Well, come on. You need a camera and I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"And your point would be?"

Billy shook his head and laughed, trailing along behind Casey. "Keep walking, kid. I'll think of one eventually."

*****

"Up there."

"You're kidding." Billy squinted up at the thick branches reaching high over his head.

"No, you can get great shots from up there. Come on, I'll show you." With graceful movements Casey swung himself up into the tree and climbed. Two-thirds of the way up he stopped and settled on a branch, leaning back against the trunk of the tree.

"You take the other side," he instructed as Billy struggled up behind him, red-faced and panting. "You'll be able to get the church steeple and the library. Nice contrast shots."

"You're crazy, Casey. You climb up here every weekend?"

"No, not every weekend. I like it up here, though. You can get some interesting effects, and you can see everything and no one can see you. You're like a ghost or something, just watching and taking pictures." He turned to look around the trunk at Billy who was frowning through his viewfinder and fiddling with the camera. "There are other places, too. Not as high as this, if you'd rather."

"Nah, I hauled my backside all the way up here, I might as well sit here for a while. It is kind of nice."

They sat in silence, just relaxing and watching the people move far below. After a while, Billy started to feel drowsy and wondered if this is where Casey did most of his sleeping, since he still didn't sleep well at night.

"Casey?"

"Hmm?"

"Maybe we should get down? I'm falling asleep here."

"Oh, okay." Casey's voice was languid and Billy smiled.

He let the smaller boy lead, following carefully. They were nearly down when the roar of a car engine nearby startled him and Billy looked down in time to see it turn into a parking place nearby. Nice car...

"Casey!"

The boy cried out as he slipped, falling hard against the lowest branch, one hand cradling his camera protectively even as the other hand tried to stop his fall. He dropped heavily to the ground and lay still.

Billy scrambled down as fast as he could. His mind was already slipping into panic mode at the sight of the motionless body.

People were approaching from different directions as Billy knelt beside Casey. There was a bloody scratch on his forehead and his left leg was bent beneath him. Even unconscious, he still clutched the camera.

"Casey, Casey, come on. Wake up." Billy touched his shoulder carefully, wanting to shake him, but not willing to risk hurting him.

Someone was kneeling beside him now, and Billy spared him a glance before returning his attention to his friend.

"Casey."

Billy looked up again, shocked. The dark-haired young man looked at him and nodded a greeting before carefully lifting the unconscious boy.

"Shouldn't we wait for an ambulance?" Billy asked, watching as he stood and carried Casey towards the parking lot.

"Can you direct me to the hospital?" His eyes were intense, his jaw set, and Billy knew.

"We'll go together, Zeke." He held the door while Zeke lay Casey on the back seat. Climbing into the car, he pointed in the direction of the hospital.

"You're his friend?"

"Billy Tepper. We're roommates."

Zeke's hands tightened on the wheel. He leaned forward slightly as if trying to make the car go faster. They rode the rest of the way in silence.

*****

Billy stared down at the two cameras in his lap, unseeing. Across the room Zeke paced restlessly, his body so tense that it hurt to look at him.

What could be taking so long?

Casey was still unconscious when Zeke carried him into the emergency room. He placed him gently on a gurney and watched as they wheeled him into a room and closed the door.

Then came the questions and forms. Billy stood by while Zeke reeled off answers, like Casey's home address, phone number and his parents' names. Billy wouldn't have been able to answer any of them.

He hadn't even had the sense to think of insurance, and had to stand aside feeling stupid and useless while Zeke efficiently took charge of Casey's possessions and extracted the insurance card from Casey's wallet.

The most Billy could do was give them the Dean's name and school phone number before picking up Casey's camera and putting the strap around his neck. He didn't trust himself not to drop it.

He sat by Zeke for a while, unable to think of anything to say but thank you. The way Zeke looked at him made him feel like a bug under a microscope.

Dean Parker arrived, a hint of worry slipping through his usual expression of calm control. He spoke to Billy and Zeke briefly before disappearing into the administrator's office. He was still in there, and Billy had a funny nervous flutter in his stomach. Something was seriously wrong.

He rubbed a hand over his face and blinked, trying to clear his mind. The sound of Casey's body hitting the ground played over and over in his head.

"Hey," Zeke dropped into the chair next to him. This close, it was impossible to miss the worry and fatigue that lined his face.

"He'll be ok. Casey's tough." Billy wasn't sure why he felt compelled to reassure him, especially since he wasn't so sure himself.

"I know." Zeke looked away, pretending to be interested in a magazine lying on the table beside him. His fingers drummed a rhythm on his leg.

"I don't think his camera got damaged," Billy offered after a while, mostly because the silence was driving him crazy. There was only one other person in the waiting room and he was stretched out across a row of seats, sleeping. The tension was enough to make Billy want to scream.

"No, Casey'd break his own arm before he let the camera fall." Zeke reached out and took it from Billy, studying it. There were some scratches on the casing, but it appeared to be undamaged.

"You a photography nut too?"

"Me? No, I just bought this today. Casey was showing me one of his favorite places to take pictures." Billy looked down at his new camera. Beside Casey's older model his was sleeker and shinier. It made him feel bad without knowing why.

"Look, Zeke, it's probably none of my business, but what are you doing here?" Billy looked up, meeting and holding Zeke's gaze.

"I needed to see him. I need to make him understand." Zeke closed his eyes and slumped back into the seat, Casey's camera held tight against him. "He thinks I did something to hurt him, but I couldn't..."

"He thinks you told his parents that he was at the bus station, planning to run away." Billy held himself still, allowing Zeke to study his face. He felt the tension between them and realized that Zeke was afraid.

"I didn't," Zeke said sharply.

"He misses you." Billy measured the words carefully, watching Zeke's reaction. For just a moment there was a spark of hope, bright and painful, and then it was gone, replaced by a well-practiced facade of indifference.

"Don't do that," Billy hissed, suddenly angry. "Don't pretend that you don't care or you'll chase him away for good."

"What do you know about it?" Zeke retorted, eyes angry but voice soft.

"I know what it's like to lose someone and never be able to get them back. I didn't have a choice, but you do. So don't be stupid." Tears burned, but Billy fought them back. He would not show weakness now. Instead he took a deep breath and changed tactics.

"Look, you came all the way from Ohio to see him. You've got one chance to get things straightened out between you. Don't screw it up."

Zeke looked away, then down at the camera, studying it, head bowed.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay."

"Mr. Tepper?" Dean Parker approached, his expression grim. "Mr. Tyler." He shook Zeke's hand. "You are a friend of Casey's from Ohio? Would you please join me? There's something we need to discuss."

The dean led the way to a small conference room. A doctor and a policeman were already seated, waiting for them. When everyone was settled and introductions made, the doctor spoke.

"First, Casey is fine. His leg is broken, but it's a clean break and should heal without any complications. What is of more concern are older injuries, some of which did not heal properly. Are either of you boys aware of any... incidents in which Casey was injured?"

"Billy," Dean Parker leaned forward, "are you aware of Casey ever being involved in a fight? Perhaps being harassed?"

Billy looked around nervously at the doctor, policeman and the dean before his eyes settled on Zeke. He saw shame and sadness in those dark eyes.

"Casey was picked on when he first arrived. A few bruises and scrapes. Nothing serious as far as I know. It stopped."

Dean Parker nodded and the policeman made notes on a tablet.

"Mr. Tyler, you went to school with Casey in Ohio? Were there any incidents there that you are aware of?"

"Yeah," Zeke's voice faltered and he coughed to clear his throat before trying again. "Casey had some trouble with people at school. He had a lot of bruises and bloody noses."

"Are you aware of any trouble between Casey and his parents, Mr. Tyler?"

Zeke held up his hands. "I think you should ask Casey that question. All I know is that Casey doesn't go looking for fights. He barely knows how to defend himself."

The doctor and policeman exchanged looks and the policeman wrote something on his tablet before nodding to the dean. Parker escorted them back to the waiting room.

"Casey's being kept overnight for observation. You can visit in the morning. Mr. Tepper, can you get back to school or do you need a ride?"

"I'll drive him, Dean."

"Thank you, Mr. Tyler. It's nice to meet you. I wish it were under better circumstances."

"Dean, couldn't we see him just for a minute? Please?" Billy tried not to sound desperate, but he couldn't stand the thought of walking out of the hospital without seeing Casey.

"I suppose it would be all right. Follow me." Parker lead the way through the maze of corridors. Casey had been moved to a private room. Parker waited in the hall as they entered the room.

Casey's eyes were a bit unfocused as he watched them approach. He held his hand up in greeting and managed a wavery smile.

"Hey, Casey. How are you?"

"Ok. Feels like I'm drugged to the eyeballs, though."

"Yeah, you look kind of out of it." Billy touched his hand then stepped back, letting Zeke move forward.

"Case."

"Zeke? What are you...?"

"Sh. Relax, Case. It's ok." He leaned close and gathered the boy in a gentle hug. Casey returned it, one-armed. After a moment, Zeke eased him back to the bed and adjusted his blanket.

"Sleep. We'll be back in the morning. Want us to smuggle you some donuts or something?"

Casey nodded, eyes watering.

"Bye, Casey."

They closed the door on the way out.

*****

The ride back to the school was quiet. Billy held the cameras on his lap and thought about how small and pale Casey looked all alone in that room. Beside him, Zeke tapped a rhythm on the steering wheel and looked grim.

"You can come in if you want, Zeke. I'll give you the grand tour." Billy tried to make it light and failed. He felt heavy and tired.

"Show me where Casey spends his time."

"Ok." Billy managed a smile. The darkroom was in the basement, and it hadn't been the cleanest room in the school, but Casey had swept and scrubbed it until it met his approval. The new equipment shone in the soft light and the bottles of chemicals were lined up precisely on the shelves.

"Nice." Zeke wandered the room, touching things here and there as if he were familiar with darkrooms. The small, secret smile gave him away.

"Casey's not here to thank you, Zeke. So I'll do it for him." Billy gestured at the equipment. "Casey needed this."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Zeke replied mildly, still smiling.

"Of course not, Mr. Anonymous. Come on, I'll show you where we live. Watch out for the piles of clothes, though."

"You got anything to eat in there?"

"No, but we can order some pizza."

"Sounds good. Whoa, you ever heard of washing machines here?" Zeke followed Billy into the room, weaving his way around the piles of clothes and books.

"Never do laundry until you run out of socks." Billy placed Casey's camera in the center of his desk, making sure the strap didn't hang over the edge. It was a relief to set it down, knowing that it was safe here.

Zeke settled on Casey's bed, looking a bit awkward, as if he wasn't sure he should be here.

"Do you have somewhere to stay? You could stay here." Billy said it fast, before he could change his mind. He couldn't explain it, but he was sure that Zeke had not betrayed Casey and he felt as if he needed to help the two of them reconcile.

"Do you think he'd mind?" For just a moment, there was none of the self-assuredness that Zeke had worn like armor since Billy met him. Now there was just the tired, vulnerable teenager, seeking assurance.

"Not at all. And I'd appreciate the company. I've gotten used to having a roommate." Billy smiled, realizing how true that statement was. "I've had enough of being alone," he admitted at last.

Zeke looked up at him, understanding.

Billy called to order the pizza, and they waited, looking forward to morning when they would bring Casey home.

Return to Broken Toys