Broken Toys

Chapter 27

Zeke was smoking, the driver side window rolled down enough to let the smoke out and the highway noise in.

Billy leaned over and turned up the volume on the radio, tapping out the rhythm on his knee. He turned to look into the back seat where Casey was stretched out, his leg propped up and his head leaning forward onto Zeke's pillow, which he hugged tightly, even in his sleep.

The trip back to school was proving long and tiring, the events of the weekend catching up with them. They'd even agreed to skip a nice dinner somewhere in exchange for a quick stop for fast food and eating in the car, so they could get back sooner.

It was past twilight by the time Zeke turned the car into the parking lot. There had been little conversation on the trip and the silence continued as they unpacked and hauled their luggage up to the room.

Snuffy and Hank came to help, but even they couldn't keep a conversation going and as soon as the car was unloaded and the boxes and bags deposited in the room, they said their good-nights and left.

Trying to navigate around Zeke's belongings, Billy stubbed his toe and swore. "It was a lot nicer in here when there wasn't so much furniture," he snapped.

Zeke just gave him a look, picked up his cigarettes and walked out.

Across the room, Casey sighed, exasperated and exhausted despite the rest he'd gotten in the car. He was too tired to deal with this tonight; too raw emotionally and too drained physically. He lay down on his single bed and turned his face towards the wall.

They slept alone that night, and none of them had a restful slumber.

*****

Being busy made it easy. They could pretend that there wasn't a rift between them; that the subtle discontent was the pressure of schoolwork and concerns about what lay beyond graduation. They could ignore the fact that Casey used the darkroom as an excuse to avoid them, that Billy suddenly returned to his running with a vengeance, that Zeke took enough walks to smoke three packs of cigarettes a day.

The excuses were so easy.

It was Thursday and still Zeke's belongings were scattered around the room, unpacked only enough to allow him access to what he'd needed that week.

There had been no room to move the beds together and although no one would admit it, none of them was getting much rest. Tempers were short and conversations between them, when they had to be in the room together, were short and overly polite.

Even their other friends had started to avoid them, tired of the cold war playing out in that dorm room.

When Zeke stumbled into the room just before curfew, reeking of smoke and alcohol, Billy snapped.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" he hissed. "You want to get kicked out of here?"

"What do you care?" Zeke sniped back, slurring the words so badly that they lost their sting. "Since when are you Mr. Follow-the-rules?"

"Since I grew a brain. Look, I've pulled a lot of stuff here, but I'm not stupid enough to waltz around drunk just begging to get caught."

"Who says I'm drunk?" Zeke demanded, moving closer to Billy and stumbling against the dresser. Billy caught him, keeping him upright, glaring at him and trying not to gag from the overwhelming odor.

A quick glance at the clock. Less than 10 minutes to lights out.

"Casey, get up! You gotta help me." Billy snatched up a pair of boxers and t-shirt at random from Zeke's open suitcase. "Get his toothbrush and come on."

Billy manhandled Zeke, ignoring his protests and shoved him out of the room, down the hall to the bathroom. Casey followed behind with towels and Zeke's toiletries bag.

Not taking the time to undress him, Billy started the shower and shoved Zeke under the cold water. Zeke had been sluggish but now he was mad. He reached out and grabbed Billy, shoving him hard against the wall, hands closing hard over his shoulders.

They snarled at each other, ignoring the cold water that raised goosebumps on their skin and plastered their clothes to their bodies.

Furious, Casey jabbed at them with his crutch. "Stop it you morons. We don't have time for this."

"Back off, Case." Zeke didn't sound at all drunk now, and the look in his eyes was lethal as he pressed in on Billy.

"No!" Casey cried, trying to force some distance between Billy and Zeke with his crutch. "Don't do this. Please, guys, come on."

Zeke turned on Casey, one hand catching and holding the crutch while the other hand still pinned Billy. There was a moment of complete stillness - Casey balanced precariously, completely at Zeke's mercy; Billy breathing hard, trying to bring himself back from anger to reason; Zeke holding power over both of them.

"Zeke?"

Casey's voice, soft but not tentative, broke the spell. With a growl, Zeke shoved the crutch back at Casey and let go. It wasn't quite hard enough to make the boy fall, but it was close. Casey backed up hard against the wall.

Turning to Billy, Zeke pushed him away. "Get out. Both of you."

"Zeke..."

"Now, Case. Just go."

Billy took one of the towels Casey had brought and stripped down quickly, bundling up his dripping clothing, he wrapped the towel around his waist and left the room.

Casey looked at Zeke once more then followed Billy out, turning his back on the sight of his lover bent under the spray, water streaming over his head and down his face.

*****

They got ready for bed in silence - another long night apart. They were both lying down when Zeke returned. He hadn't lingered long in the shower, but it was already past curfew so he spread his wet clothing out to dry and turned off the light.

Instead of climbing into bed, he took a seat at his desk, knees up and body curled in on itself. He really hadn't had enough to drink to be truly drunk, he just wanted to make himself feel better. The cold water and the fight had cleared away the last illusion of being intoxicated. Now he was miserable.

He felt strange and disconnected, not really numb, but somehow separate from his thoughts and emotions. If he could scream or cry he might feel better. But he couldn't. So he sat, huddled in the chair and stared out at the starless sky.

He heard the movement, the pause before rising and the uncertain steps. He felt the tentative touch and the warmth of the body standing close.

"Billy..." Zeke closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. It was gentle and forgiving and it made him ache. He opened his mouth to apologize but a finger was pressed lightly against his lips, stopping the words.

"Go to Casey."

"He doesn't want me tonight."

"He does. And you need him."

"What about you?"

"I'll be here. And if you ever get your stuff out of the way we can both hold you and we'll all be more comfortable." A pause. "Right?" A soft kiss, full of understanding.

"Sleep well, Billy."

"You too, Zeke."

Casey's eyes were watching, drawing Zeke into the arms that were open and waiting for him.

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