Broken Toys

Chapter 18

"This was your idea, Billy."

Billy groaned and stood up, peeling off his shirt and tossing it onto the pile with the other discarded clothes. So far, most of the items were his.

"Can't I at least wrap up in a blanket? It's cold in here."

"Just hurry up and lose once more and we're done. Then we'll find something to do that will keep you warm." Casey gave Billy a grin and rearranged his winnings.

"You keep eating those marshmallows, Case, and you won't have anything left to bet."

Casey looked at his large pile of marshmallows compared to the other boy's much smaller piles and popped another marshmallow in his mouth.

"Your deal," he told Zeke sounding a bit muffled.

"'Kay. Five card stud, nothing wild."

Billy took one look at his hand and groaned. Setting the cards down he stood up and started to remove his boxers. "I surrender."

"No way," Zeke protested, putting out a hand to stop Billy from undressing. "Winner gets the privilege. Makes it more interesting."

Casey made a show of suddenly being very interested in his cards.

Billy grinned and sat down, deciding that he wasn't all that cold anyway.

"Yes!" Casey said a few minutes later as he happily claimed the remaining marshmallows. He fed one to Zeke as a consolation for losing and followed it with a kiss.

"Now, you..." Casey tried to look predatory and failed, making Billy and Zeke laugh. "C'mere," he beckoned and Billy obeyed.

"I think," he finger walked up Billy's bare chest to his neck and up, stopping at his mouth. "That you would be much warmer upstairs."

"Yeah?" Billy challenged, nipping at Casey's fingers, catching them gently between his teeth and tickling the fingertips with his tongue.

"Mmmhmm," Casey replied, almost purring.

"Okay," Zeke announced, pushing away from the table. "I'll go turn off lights and check the locks while you two take this upstairs."

Casey withdrew his fingers slowly, moving them teasingly across Billy's lips before lowering his hand to the table.

"Don't make us wait too long, Zeke," Casey called as he followed Billy up the stairs.

Zeke watched as Casey and Billy worked their way up the stairs, taunting each other and making faces. He laughed and shook his head. He was glad to see Casey so happy and relaxed.

Drawing the drapes in the living room, Zeke headed upstairs. The snow had stopped several hours before but the cottage was still a bit cool, despite raising the thermostat. He was halfway up the stairs when he heard Billy scream, "No!" followed by a crash.

Racing to the bedroom, Zeke stopped in the doorway, shocked. Casey lay on the floor, cringing in shock and pain. Billy was over him, hand raised to strike.

"Billy! Stop!" Zeke tackled Billy, knocking him down onto the bed. He was promptly thrown aside and a minute later Billy was over him, pinning him painfully.

"Don't touch me!" he screamed. His face was scarlet rage and there was desperation and fear in his eyes.

Zeke went completely still, his eyes locked onto Billy. "It's ok, Billy, it's just me. I won't hurt you." Zeke kept up a steady stream of reassurances until Billy finally loosened his painful grip.

"Billy?" Casey said softly, looking and sounding like he might cry. "I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly.

Billy pressed back against the headboard and started to shake.

"What happened?" Zeke demanded, looking at Casey. It was like seeing him that night after the alien; he was almost in shock.

Right before his eyes, Casey shrank, Zeke watched as he retreated into himself until he was the Casey of a year ago, frightened and battered, expecting to he hurt.

"I was teasing him. I didn't mean... I was going to... I came up behind him and grabbed his waist and pushed him down on the bed but... but he yelled and... he was going to hit me..."

If it were physically possible, Casey would have shrunk in on himself until he disappeared. Zeke felt his stomach tighten at the familiar sight. He ached to comfort Casey, but for the moment, Billy needed his attention.

Billy was shaking so hard his teeth were chattering and he was gasping for breath.

Zeke reached out and grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around Billy. Looking over at Casey standing in the corner he reached out. "Would you help me please, Case?"

Slowly the boy hobbled over. As he got closer Zeke could see that he was shaking too, but not as violently.

"I need you to wrap up in a blanket and get warm, Case. I'm going to sit here with Billy for a while, okay?"

Casey nodded obediently and wrapped himself in a blanket.

"Good, now just relax for a minute while I talk to Billy."

Casey nodded again and sat down carefully on the end of the bed.

"Billy," Zeke said softly, mindful not to move suddenly or lean too close. "I'm going to move a little and let you get more comfortable, okay?"

He didn't get a response, but Billy didn't try to get away when Zeke brushed against him as he shifted.

"You're not shivering as much. Are you warm enough?"

This time there was a slight nod.

"Would you like to lie down?"

A long pause, then another slight nod.

"Okay, I'll just help you up get covered up. I won't move fast or touch you anywhere but your arms, okay?"

Billy accepted Zeke's help, sliding down under the covers and getting comfortable. He was calming down, but he was still shaking slightly.

"I'm going to lay down beside you, Billy. Is that okay?"

Slowly Zeke slid under the covers, then motioned for Casey to join him. Casey complied, almost reluctantly, moving slowly, as if he was expecting Zeke or Billy to change their minds and send him away. When he lay down he didn't slide closer to Zeke, seeking contact, instead he cringed away.

Zeke closed his eyes and calmed himself. There was no time for weakness now. He had to make sure both boys were all right and then figure out what had happened to upset Billy so severely.

It was a lonely, exhausting vigil, but when Billy reached out to him at 2:17 am, Zeke was there.

"Hey," Billy whispered. "You're awake?"

"Yeah. How are you doing?" Zeke kept himself very still, careful to do nothing to startle Billy.

"Okay." The word wasn't convincing but Zeke didn't push.

"How's Casey?" Billy asked at last. He didn't meet Zeke's eyes. "Is he... I didn't hurt him?"

"He was a little upset, Billy, but he'll be fine. He's asleep." Zeke wasn't sure that was true, but Casey hadn't moved in a while so he might be sleeping.

There was a long uncomfortable silence and then Billy sighed. "I guess you want to know what happened."

"I think I need to, Billy, but it doesn't have to be right this minute."

Shifting, more sighing, and then: "No, I think I need to get it over with. It will just be harder if I wait, and I'll still need to explain it to Casey."

Another long silence. Finally Billy cleared his throat and spoke. "I told you about Cali, the terrorist, the one who gave me the scars?"

"Yes."

"The. beating... it hurt so much and. he enjoyed it, you know? He said things, and he touched me. I thought... I was so afraid he would..."

Zeke could hear Billy's rapid breathing and feel the tension in his body. He reached out one hand and placed it gently over Billy's.

Billy welcomed the touch, taking Zeke's hand and holding tight. He was losing the battle against tears and needed to get the rest of the words out before he could not longer speak without sobbing.

"After he was done with the pointer he... ran his hand down over the cuts and he licked the blood. He forced me to taste it. He was laughing at me, leering, and I thought... right up until he sent me away ...I thought he was going to..." Billy pressed his face against Zeke's neck. "I would have let him... I wouldn't have been strong enough to fight him. He knew it. He let me know that he knew it."

Billy took a shuddering breath then continued talking, his voice quavering. "I cleaned myself up and I went out to where Joey was waiting for me with the others, and I didn't let him touch me, I didn't want him to touch me because I thought he would be able to tell what a coward I was. I thought Joey wouldn't want me anymore. Then they took Joey away and ten minutes later he was dead and I kept thinking that now no one would ever know and my secret would be safe."

He reached out to Zeke, letting himself be drawn into a tight embrace, still fighting against the tears so he could say what needed to be said.

"When Casey came up behind me like that, and pushed me down, I felt the weight on my back and I thought... all I could think of was Cali and how I had to get away, how I wouldn't let him hurt me this time." He clutched at Zeke desperately. "I didn't mean to hurt Casey. I would never... You know would I wouldn't..."

"I know, Billy. Casey knows too. He was just scared and he's fine now. Try to rest." He drew Billy closer and held him, wishing desperately that the dean were here to handle this.

He held on through Billy's tears, and the long calming down, and even into sleep.

Only when Billy was softly snoring did Zeke allow himself to reach out to Casey, bridging the gap that had separated them through the long night. And only when Casey reached back and took his hand, was Zeke able to close his eyes and sleep.

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