Tears Too

He knew her better than she thought he did. He knew how frightened she was of being left again, abandoned by yet another man she loved. Just as her grandfather and father had left her. Just as Jack and then Wesley had left.

Just as their son...

Yes, Jean-Luc Picard understood her fear all too well.

Perhaps it was because only he seemed to remember her without the patina of professionalism she now wore. He remembered the young Howard hellcat and how she had softened and grown in Jack's love.

Jack had loved her. He had worshipped her. He had been exactly what Beverly had needed - willing to commit to her completely; loving her in ways she could see and feel.

Jack had been the man for Beverly Howard. So much more right for her than the ambitious, driven Jean-Luc Picard who adored the Howard temptress from behind the mask of friendship.

But Jack had gone, taken from his young bride by the cruel impartiality of death, and the woman left behind was no longer Beverly Howard.

So many years and excuses kept them apart before the Enterprise brought them together again. It was a different woman, stronger, more confident and far more reserved, that walked onto his bridge that first day.

It was easy to accept the image she presented, to ignore the truth he knew when the facade was so appealing. But time and circumstances conspired to break through that facade, stripping away his as well, and forcing both of them, at long last, to accept the truth.

It wasn't an easy relationship. There were so many ways he feared he might fail her, and she was so much needier than he ever imagined. But it was that need, surprising as it was, that gave him the strength he needed as well.

He needed her to need him.

It was that need that brought him home early, conspiring to reach her before the end of another long night. He traded favors, bartered and bargained in ways that would have made Walker proud, and in the end, he stepped onto the deck of his ship at 04:37 hours.

It was good to be home.

*****

He heard the faint wail as he reached the doorway to his cabin. He paused a moment, just out of the sensor's range and listened. Very faintly he could hear Beverly's voice, strained and hoarse. It made his heart ache.

She had sacrificed so much for this child.

Unable to wait any longer he stepped to the doors and through, barely waiting for them to open. Instantly Jacqui's wails stopped and her head lifted off Beverly's shoulder. She regarded her father with serious eyes, then started to cry again.

Beverly looked at him helplessly, her own tears following the paths of the many that had already fallen, the collar of her nightgown damp.

Without speaking he folded them both into his embrace. Tears burned the corners of his eyes and, without shame, he let them fall.

end

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