Thwump!

"Sofa cushion."

"That's got to be the last one"

"No, there's one more."

"You sure? That's six."

Thwump!

"See. You forgot the pillow Daph keeps on the sofa for naps."

"Fine. So now can we get out of..."

Swthwack!

"What was that?"

"You know those pink slippers she wears?"

"She's throwing her shoes at us?"

"Yup."

Swthwack!

"At least there's only two of them. Now can we get out of here?"

"You kidding? She's only getting started. She's probably headed off to her room for more ammunition. If she's really mad we could be stuck in here for hours."

"You're not serious."

"You've never seen Daphne when she's furious before, Brian. She's a maniac."

Thoom!

"Freckles, her stuffed walrus. Don't ask."

"Did you know your best friend could curse like that?"

"Where do you think I learned it from? Come on, we might as well get comfortable on the bed."

"I knew we should have stayed at the loft."

"It wasn't my idea to try out the sofa. You know, I did tell you that Daphne had a date tonight."

Thump!

Thwap!

Ping! Ping! Ping!

"She's using the dart set, ignore it."

"How sturdy is that door?"

"It'll hold. I usually fall asleep before she runs out of things to throw. The next day she bitches at me until I help her pick everything up and put it all away. I don't know how she fits it all in her room."

Clank!

"So the next time she has a date I guess we shouldn't come over here and watch the movie she rented."

Thunk!

"And drink all the beer."

Thud!

"Or eat the dessert Daphne baked."

Thwack!

"Or have sex on the sofa."

"Like this?"

"Oh. Oh, we definitely shouldn't do that."

Thwap!

"And we should make sure we don't ask Daphne if she likes her date's tattoo."

"Yeah, especially when that leads to questions about when and where we've seen the tattoo."

"I've never actually seen someone's face turn that color before."

"If we'd had some clothes on we could have helped him."

"We barely made it in here as it was."

"Barely? Cute. Don't you have something better to do with that mouth?"

"Like this?"

"Ooooohhhh."

"Or this?"

"Mmmmmm. More."

"At least we got off better than Daphne's date. He'll probably have bruises from her kicking his ass to the curb. Especially when she asked if he wanted to jump in there with us and he hesitated. Big mistake."

THUNKTHUNKTHUNK

"What is she throwing now?"

"Textbooks, just ignore it. I believe we were discussing ways to avoid this evening's little spectacle."

"Things we shouldn't repeat? Like this?"

"MmmmmHmmmm."

"More of not doing this?"

"Exactly."

"Ahhhh. Thought so."

Thwack! Thwump!

"Could be a long night."

"I certainly hope so."

:::end:::

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