FC - Another Perspective

A blow to the stomach woke her with a start. It took several seconds for her to get oriented and in that time she received two more blows.

For the fourth night in a row she found herself holding Jean-Luc, soothing and comforting him in French - the only language he would respond to. When he was calm again, never having fully woken from his dreams, she slipped out of bed.

Two nights ago at supper she had contrived to cut herself, a shallow but messy wound that let her justify leaving a medikit in the bathroom. She retrieved it now, after securing the door.

A visual inspection revealed one potentially nasty bruise on her face. She healed it quickly then used the tricorder to scan lower.

That was how she discovered she was pregnant.

*****

It was early when he woke, reaching for the golden warmth beside him and finding only a cold pillow. It gave him a moment of panic, as it always did when he woke up alone.

She saw the look in his eyes when he emerged from the bedroom. Setting down her cup of warm milk, she reached out to him.

"Good morning, Jean-Luc."

"Is everything all right?" he responded. She smiled convincingly.

"Yes, I just needed something to drink. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Oh," he said it softly, but his eyes told her what he meant. He needed to love her. Now. Abandoning her drink, she rose and crossed to his side.

"We don't need to be up for several hours yet. Why don't we both go back to bed."

Jean-Luc smiled as she slipped her hand inside his sleep shirt. "Splendid idea, Beverly."

She took his hand, twining her fingers with his and let him guide her to the bed. She kissed him, then tilted her head to the side. He nibbled her neck and shoulder, easing her nightgown down until it caught on her hips, leaving her top bare.

Slithering hands down her sides, he eased the garment the rest of the way to the floor, then let her undress him.

They climbed into bed, then resumed their kisses and caresses. Beverly gave herself fully to Jean-Luc, wanting desperately to replace his nightmares with memories of their love. When they reached their peak, him first, and immediately after, her, they felt nothing but love and ecstasy. And for a little while, all the nightmares and fears were held at bay.

*****

Later on the bridge, the nightmare returned.

It was as if somehow he'd known. The recent nightmares after so many years at peace seemed an omen of the Borg's return.

Three days the Enterprise patrolled the Neutral Zone, ordered there by admirals, who, despite everything, still did not trust Jean-Luc Picard to face the Borg.

Three days in which he shut Beverly out of his life, refusing to love her or be loved by her, coldly rejecting her efforts to comfort him.

Three days in which a very troubled and lonely Beverly Crusher wrestled with the knowledge of the child she was carrying.

*****

That night as the Enterprise hurtled towards Earth at maximum warp, Jean-Luc was more distant than her wayward son.

She offered herself to him, needing his comfort as badly as he needed hers. He turned her away coldly, sounding as unfeeling as the Borg.

The tears she would not weep burned her inside as she lay, cold and alone, in her own bed. She vowed to herself to keep her pregnancy a secret until the Borg were defeated. She would not add that burden to her beloved's already tortured mind. Even if it meant the unthinkable.

*****

She didn't see Jean-Luc again until she escorted Worf onto the bridge. She hadn't bothered to show up for breakfast; she knew Jean-Luc wouldn't be in his quarters. Instead, she wrote a long letter to her son. When it was done, she saved it, not even trying to send it anywhere. She couldn't even guess wherever Wes might be now.

*****

Jean-Luc was sweating, a fine line of perspiration wetting the collar of his uniform shirt. Beverly focused on that, refusing to watch the viewscreen as they followed the Borg escape pod back through time.

She continued to focus on him until he turned and ordered her to join the away team. Only then did she raise her eyes, locking her gaze onto his, trying to convey her love and strength to him.

For just a moment, he accepted what she offered. She allowed herself to brush his hand with hers as they stood side by side in the turbolift.

He caught her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

We'll be all right, she promised herself. We'll be ok.

*****

He called her away from the scattering of dead bodied into the missile silo. She tended to the fallen woman, not allowing any trace of fear into her voice as she announced the danger of radiation poisoning. She didn't flinch as she injected herself, having assured Jean-Luc that she would keep her patient unconscious. Nothing she did or said betrayed the knowledge that the injection posed a risk to the child he didn't know she was carrying.

*****

Back on board the Enterprise, Beverly escaped into her office to change back into her uniform while her nurses tended to the unconscious 21st century woman. Once in private, she scanned herself, relieved that there were no signs that the baby had been affected by the radiation or the injection. She'd have to keep running scans for the next few days to be sure, but she felt better already. She didn't realize her hands were shaking until she dropped the tricorder.

*****

The Borg moved swiftly in their singular purpose - assimilate the Enterprise. One team branched off from the central group and turned down an intersection corridor. Reaching the first door, they began banging on it, trying to force their way in.

*****

The main entrance to sickbay was crumpling under the onslaught of whatever-it- was that was trying to force its way in. Beverly leapt into action, shoving her fears aside as she guided her people, staff and patients alike to what she hoped would be safety.

The emotions she pushed aside formed a hard knot in her abdomen and she desperately hoped she could wait until later to be sick.

*****

Later, when Worf's team had escorted her staff to deck 2 and they'd rigged a sickbay for the injured, Beverly handed command over to Alyssa. The nurse could handle things here. Beverly was needed on the bridge.

It was quiet when she arrived, slightly breathless and sweaty from taking the Jeffries tube to the bridge. The bridge was strangely quiet considering the level of tension. Beverly offered a closed smile to the lieutenant in charge as way of encouragement before taking command. Taking a seat in the captain's chair, Beverly steeled herself to wait, ignoring the fluttering in her stomach.

*****

Worf's team returned, exhausted and tense. They'd lost a lot of good people and worse, they'd lost contact with the captain.

Beverly examined the wounded, grateful for something to keep her mind off Jean- Luc. She was almost sorry when the last person was tended.

Worf was conferring with some of the security personnel, but he stepped into the ready room to confer with her.

"Where's the captain?"

"I don't know. We were separated. Now that I see you are in command, I will return to look for him."

"No, we have to concentrate on destroying the Borg. I want you to station a security team in every escape pod bay. Make sure the Borg don't cut off our access or use the pods to reach earth. Understood?"

Worf rumbled dangerously.

"Dismissed."

Worf stood toe to toe with the doctor, ready to argue. But he had to concede that she was correct. The captain had to be considered lost and that meant considering the possibility of destroying the ship. With a snarl he turned and walked away.

Beverly waited for the door to close, then walked slowly into the bathroom to be sick.

*****

Worf returned with news from his security teams. The Borg were stopped on deck 11. That meant that, so far, the escape pods, located on deck 4, were safe.

They were interrupted by the sound of someone climbing up the Jeffries tube to the bridge. Beverly snatched up a phaser rifle and aimed it at the hatch a fraction of a second after Worf. Seconds later the hatch opened and Jean-Luc Picard emerged leading the missing woman. Beverly allowed herself a relieved, "Jean- Luc I thought…"

"News of my assimilation is premature."

He climbed onto the deck, then turned and helped the woman to her feet. Looking at Beverly she said, "I found something you lost." His tone halfway between teasing and a reprimand.

Beverly was so relieved at seeing him still alive and in one piece that she didn't mind the comment.

She watched him take command. Perhaps there was hope after all. For the briefest moment she rested her hand on her abdomen and allowed herself to believe everything would be all right.

*****

They were back from their space walk, mission accomplished, but at the cost of Lt. Hawk. Beverly saw now that she had been deluding herself into thinking Jean-Luc would save them once again as he had so often in the past.

This time was different.

He was different.

He wasn't going to save them. He was going to destroy them all.

She watched, horrified as he shouted at Worf, accusing him of cowardice. She tried to stop him but he ignored her. She tried reason. He ignored her.

Watching him retreat into the observation lounge, Beverly made her decision. He was going to listen to reason whether he wanted to or not.

She was about to follow him when suddenly Lily was in her way. Demanding answers. Beverly replied, defending her captain although she herself knew he was wrong. She would not express any of her doubts about Jean-Luc's fitness for command here on the bridge. Not to this woman, who barely knew him. Not in front of this crew who trusted him with their lives. She would not be so disloyal to Jean-Luc, no matter what he did. No, this was between her and Jean-Luc and best kept in private. She stepped forward, only to be cut off by Lily as she barged through the door to the lounge.

Beverly scowled, what right did this woman have? She had no idea, no idea what this meant. Aware suddenly of the silent tension on the bridge, Beverly blanked her expression and turned. Deliberately she stepped down to the captain's chair and sat. The meaning, and her intention were clear. She would not relinquish command until the captain returned to his senses.

*****

Voice calm and clear, Beverly seconded the auto-destruct command. This was it. Their last chance to return to their Earth and their time was about to be blown up with the Enterprise E.

Strangely, she found herself less upset at the thought than she had expected. She had little tying her to her time now that Wesley was gone. Certainly she had less to lose than most of the people around her. It was them she felt sorry for. And for Jean-Luc.

She knew she was losing Jean-Luc, that he would not join the rest of the crew on the planet. He would stay, trying to rescue Data and most likely die in the attempt. Nothing anyone could do would make him leave the Enterprise.

Which was why she had to stay too. She offered him a word of hope, asking if he thought there would be another Enterprise. He gave her a positive answer, one that made her smile just a little. Their eyes met and she felt him, as she hadn't for so many days now, telling her with his eyes; *I Love you* and *goodbye*.

She broke the contact first, leaving the bridge to help with the evacuation.

*****

She followed him, careful to keep well hidden so that he never suspected she was still on board. The crew on her escape pod had tried to object, but she'd settled that with a single command. She was second in command of the Enterprise at the moment. For once it had its uses.

He'd gone straight to engineering, needing to rescue Data, whatever the cost. She found a hiding place with a view of the main entrance and waited. If Jean- Luc failed. If he became Locutus again. She would kill him and end his suffering. It was the least she could do.

It seemed like an eternity as she waited, sweating in the cramped hiding place. She watched, grimly fascinated as people she knew, now transformed into Borg performed their mindless tasks.

Suddenly, there was a deafening explosion that shook the deck followed by what sounded like shrieks.  Then, one by one, the Borg fell to the ground, twitching, then lay still. Within minutes the ship was silent again.

She remained hidden until the door to engineering opened and Jean-Luc emerged, walking beside Data. The captain seemed unharmed. But whole sections of Data's skeletal structure were visible. She rushed from her hiding place.

"Jean-Luc. Data."

"Beverly? What the hell are you doing here?"

She wanted to answer, to give a calm reply, but she couldn't. Without a conscious thought, she threw herself into his arms and hugged him tight. "I was afraid they would turn you into Locutus again."

"Shhhh," he murmured, glad for her presence, for the feel of her in his arms. At the moment, it didn't matter that Data was there.

Data knew enough about human emotions to know that he was not needed here. He simply stated, "Captain, I will return to the bridge and assess the damage." And left without waiting for an answer.

Beverly reluctantly moved back a step. "Jean-Luc, I…"

"Not now, Beverly. Please, let's just… talk about it later. Everything happened so fast."

*****

They went together to the lowest decks and worked upward with Beverly cataloguing the location and identities of the dead crewmen. Surprisingly there were fewer casualties than she had expected.

Jean-Luc studied each face, memorizing each one. Beverly saw this but had no idea how to stop it. Instead, she allowed him his silent brooding. Determining there were no corpses above deck 11, they entered the turbolift.

"Bridge," he commanded wearily.

"Halt." Beverly counter-ordered and the lift stopped. "Jean-Luc, there's something we have to do first." She tapped her communicator. "Crusher to Data."

"Yes, doctor?"

"Data I want you to locate the escape pods and alert the team leaders that we will begin returning everyone to the ship in four hours. Contact Commander Riker's team with the same message. The captain and I are in conference and are not to be disturbed for at least the next two hours. Crusher out."

"Beverly."

"Don't argue with me, Jean-Luc. Just , for once, please just trust me." The way she said that made him swallow hard. Had it really gotten that bad between them?

They arrived at her quarters and she led him inside, securing the door behind him. Before he could demand an explanation, she threw herself into his embrace again, and started to cry.

"Beverly?"

"I thought you were dead. That the Borg had gotten you. That I would have to kill you."

His heart beat hard against his chest. He tightened his grip on her and knew there were no words for this. He lifted her face to his and kissed her, hungry for real human contact. They undressed each other where they stood, neither tender nor slow, just desperate to chase away the dark shadows.

He was sure they would never make it to the bedroom, then surprised himself and her by swinging Beverly up into his arms and carrying her there. She tightened her arms around him and kissed his neck until he lay her on the bed.

Two hours weren't nearly enough to show how much they loved each other, but they did the best they could. When the alarm sounded, they showered together, fighting hard against the temptation to get distracted, then ate a quick snack before returning to the bridge.

Data knew by looking at the couple that they had resolved whatever differences had been separating them the last few weeks. It was good to see. After this experience especially, it was significant that they should regain their equilibrium so quickly. Perhaps love does conquer all.

He filed that thought away for further study.

*****

They stood in the darkness, a little away from the others, not touching, just enjoying being in each other's presence. Beverly thought about the afternoon. It didn't solve all of the problems between them, but it was a start. And she was sure they would be able to resolve their other difficulties soon. After all, she still had a little surprise for the captain.

Unable to resist she turned her head and whispered in his ear, "Jean-Luc, there's something I've been meaning to tell you…"

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