And Get On With My Day

Author's Note:  Thank you to Vissy, Akai and B for great beta help and encouragement.

Takamiya closed the blinds while the sun was still shining; he didn't like watching sunsets alone.

Retreating to his windowless workroom, he busied himself with projects that weren't due for weeks - anything to keep his mind from wandering to the too-quiet home and the lonely bed awaiting him at the end of the evening.

Perhaps if he worked long enough he'd fall asleep in the chair again like the last time Izumi. . .

He shook his head and smiled at his own foolishness, setting down the book he was holding. Enough. Aoe always told him he was terrible at being alone. Funny that years of practice hadn't made him any better at it.

Not that Aoe could talk - it was his half-brained idea of a birthday present which started this whole thing in the first place.

Oh, it turned out all right, but still. Yes, maybe he'd been restless, travelling more than necessary, never staying anywhere or with anyone for long. Maybe he was desperate to see a friendly face when Aoe offered the belated birthday present.

It had seemed ideal: a date with Aoe's prized Izumi, whom Aoe had insisted was "just the person to lift your spirits". Takamiya felt like a damned fool, but he went anyhow. And when it felt like he'd found his missing piece. . . But he stupidly let himself overindulge in the wine, the company and the sheer euphoria of it all. He didn't want to think about the morning or the money or the parting which would slice him open.

That's why he didn't really understand Izumi's cries that night; in his muddled state he thought Izumi's pain was the same as his own - pain for the intensity of their joining and sorrow for the knowledge that it would be their only time together.

When he slept that night, sated, Izumi at his side, he felt as close to peace as he'd ever been. He woke in the early dawn, his head full of fantasies of taking Izumi away from Aoe, perhaps even back to England.

Sunrise brought reality and the horrible truth of what he'd done. He kept up appearances in front of Izumi, of course - he couldn't fall apart in front of him. He'd done his best to be gentle and kind ever since, to make no issue of what had happened that first night for fear of frightening Izumi more. Or frightening himself.

And he could admit that he was frightened. He always had been unsure of himself; he was just good at hiding it behind a pleasant smile and cheerful manner. Casual conversation had always been difficult for him, and sometimes he still put his foot in it, but usually he did all right so long as he didn't get too nervous. He wasn't bad looking, he had enough money to be comfortable, and he had a few good friends.

He was just lonely, that was all.

He had the solution to that, too. But he had to be patient - which was why he couldn't let himself think too much about what had happened that first night between them. Instead he would do everything in his power to make it right for Izumi, no matter how long it took.

He shook his head, chasing away the gloomy thoughts as he headed for the kitchen. Enough of this. Time for some dinner and perhaps a movie - one of those silly action things he'd bought for Izumi. The one with the spies and the fast cars which had made them both laugh. He would stretch out on their comfortable sofa and relax. That's what he needed.

Izumi needed to spend time with his friends; he worked too hard. Takamiya would have to encourage these outings more often. As for himself, he would consider this a night off. An early night would leave him well-rested for the next time Izumi slept over.

He smiled as he started the movie and settled on the sofa with the remote control; his eyes were on the television, but his mind was picturing Izumi on the brand new sheets he'd bought as a surprise.

::end::

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